March 2007
By Douglas Kent,
Email: doug of
whiningkentpigs.com or diplomacyworld
of yahoo.com
On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com
– follow the links to the Diplomacy World
section for this subzine, old Diplomacy
World articles (and soon – maybe even some full issues in .pdf format),
Message Board, Chat Room, and other items of interest.
Quote Of The Month – “Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows
me the least bit of attention?” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind”)
Well, we defied the
critics and the pundits and Eternal Sunshine has returned for its
record-breaking second issue. I’d like
to thank the Academy and all the people behind the scenes for making this
subzine possible. I suppose that
includes Jim-Bob, Heather, and Tigger the cat (meow). Hmm, that’s about it actually. You’d think a First Class operation like this
would have a bigger supporting cast.
The big news around the
Whining Kent Pig household this month is the furious plans for our
wedding. The actual engagement is
nothing new – in fact Heather was very forceful in her attempts to get married
before I left for my term as a guest of the Federal government. I refused to give in on that idea
however. My logic was pretty basic at
the time: if Heather was going to wait for me, we could always get married when
I got home; if things didn’t work out, if she decided sitting around depressed
and lonely the whole time wasn’t for her, and instead got wise and moved on
with her life…well, by not getting married we would have saved the trouble of
getting a divorce. Even an amicable one
(like mine from Mara) is a paperwork hassle and requires court costs and
appearances. Now that I am home, our
close relationship is stronger than ever.
So we will be married – and as Heather has wanted from the beginning,
it’ll be on Halloween!
Heather is a very
non-traditional woman (which should be obvious if she’s in love with me, as
that requires a certain degree of patience and tolerance, or heavy drinking). So the wedding will follow in that vein. I don’t think, in the end, guests will be required
to wear costumes (although it will be encouraged in some way), but the entire
place will be decorated in a Halloween theme, with witches and ghosts and
skeletons and pumpkins. Even the
invitations will be Halloween Party invitations, and the cake she has in mind
will also be Halloween – from the pumpkin decorations to the “Nightmare Before
Christmas” Jack and Sally on top. I
should point out that while I am not coming up with any of these ideas, I have
no problem with them and in fact I think they are wonderful. They all are extremely Heatheresque, which is
exactly the way I want the day to be.
I’m already getting the most wonderful woman in the world out of the
deal, so I figure Heather should get something.
I have never seen Heather
so excited. Really it is quite shocking
to me, to have someone so wonderful be so worked-up over the prospect of
marrying ME. Okay, I still have quite a
self-image problem, but I don’t see a lot of sought-after qualities in my
person. Not only does she want to marry
me, but she waited and pined all those months while I was away? Unbelievable.
Do you think therapy or medication might help her?
Some have wondered how
you can keep a relationship strong over such a distant and depressing
separation. I think the answer was
pretty simple: I wrote Heather every day I was away. I don’t think I missed a day except when I
was in transit from one facility to another, or perhaps a day or two when I was
locked up in the SHU (Special Housing Unit – where they send troublemakers like
me). Actually my writing schedule was
pretty much the center of my free time, much to the ridicule of most of the
people who knew me. On weekdays in the
evenings I would write Heather a twelve-page letter – six pieces of paper, both
sides, the most I could safely write and still keep the envelope at one ounce
or less. On weekends I would just keep
writing and writing, on occasion filling up fifty pages or more, which I would
then stuff into a brown envelope and pay whatever it cost. Aside from instant coffee and personal stuff,
stamps were about the only thing I spent money on…well, not including phone
calls at 23 cents a minute. If nothing
else, not only did doing all of that writing keep me feeling closer to Heather
(and I hope kept her feeling closer to me), but it helped keep me out of
trouble. Writing, reading, and listening
to the radio – when I wasn’t working or waiting on line (which you had to do
for just about everything), that’s how I spent my time.
On a more
Diplomacy-related note, I have been trying to contact some of my old hobby
friends (and hobby acquaintances) by doing internet email searches. Do date I don’t think I have gotten a reply
from anybody I wrote to this way, but because of the indirect procedure I have
to go through, I don’t think email failure messages would find their way to my
mailbox – only the rare true responses from the recipients. To jump-start my memory I spent a bit of time
leafing through my old Hobby Census paperwork, and what did I find right behind
that folder but a few old copies of the Garret Schenck-published Zine
Register. Ahh, the good old days…a
real nostalgia kick. Nearly every review
seethes with Garret’s anger over various real and imagined hobby slight (such
as Jack McHugh and I starting Your Zine of Zines, or the People’s
Diplomacy Organization Relief Auction board declining to fund Zine Register
with any money for the year – I think he asked for $500 or something like
that). Well, not every review is nasty –
the FOGs (Friends of Garret) were always given a few backhanded
compliments. In particular I enjoyed
comparing Garret’s review of Abyssinian Prince in ZR #19 – “if
you’re looking for a well-run game in comfortable surroundings this is the one
for you” – with his vitriolic review in ZR #21 – where after bashing Jim
for three paragraphs he closes with “the truth of the matter is that this is a
pretty good zine.” That sort of attitude
was what made the Schenck-published Zine Register issues such fun for
me: every review seemed to be either “good, but not as good as my zine Upstart”
or “you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, well I guess it isn’t so bad
really, but not as good as my zine Upstart.” I guess a Zine Register these days
would be like what, 8 pages long at best?
Do they publish Mission From God (the ZR for the UK Diplomacy
hobby) anymore I wonder?
By the way, there had
been some VERY early-stage discussion between Jim-Bob and I on doing something
with Diplomacy World. The biggest
question, besides one of time limitations and being able to find enough
worthwhile content these days, is whether there is a market for a Diplomacy
World-style “hobby flagship” zine anymore.
What do you readers think? I’d
love to hear opinions regardless of which side of the fence they come down on. If you aren’t familiar with Diplomacy
World, check out some of the old articles which I have on my website in the
Diplomacy section. I spent an hour or
two cleaning up the Diplomacy section of my website – adding frames and other
links, things like that. It should be
much easier to navigate now. I use
Microsoft Publisher on the main portion of the web site, but for the Diplomacy
areas I just use Microsoft Word, and it seems to work fine for the time being.
I should mention that I
went ahead and created a Yahoo Group dedicated to this subzine. It’s called, not surprisingly,
eternal_sunshine_diplomacy. You can
access it through Yahoo, or if you’d like to join, the easiest way is to go to
my web site (http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/dw/
is the Diplomacy section) and look for the Yahoo link near the bottom of the
page, or the link on the navigation bar.
Aside from it being yet another place to find my subzine, it should also
serve as a convenient web presence for people to discuss anything
Eternal-Sunshine-related, hobby-related…or, really, anything at all you want to
talk about. The thing I miss the most
about the postal Diplomacy hobby is the special community feeling it had. Maybe a few newsgroups like this can help
foster a rebirth of that feeling. If
not, oh well, it didn’t cost anything to set up! I see that other Diplomacy publishers have
had the same idea long before I did, like Brad Martin who does Western Front. So since smarter people than me are doing it,
I feel it must have been a good idea!
Okay, enough Diplomacy
comments, on to other things…
The long-awaited Zodiac
Killer movie comes out this weekend – I will have a full review next issue,
depending on when I publish this thing and (more importantly) when I actually
get to go see it. It is based on the
Robert Graysmith book, which I own and have read many times. Graysmith was a political cartoonist for the
San Francisco Chronicle when the killings started, and he eventually became
obsessed with the case. As a writer, he
paints a very spooky picture of the crime scenes, including how terribly
isolated many of them are…the kinds of places that in today’s world you might
not feel comfortable, but back in the 60’s I suppose people didn’t worry about
violence or murder quite as often. Given
how well-written the book is, Mr. Graysmith’s participation in the film (the
main character actually plays him), and the strong cast and director choices I
am excited about the prospects. My one
hesitation is that the movie is over 2 ½ hours long. That sounds like overkill to me, especially
since there isn’t any resolution to the case.
Let me know if any of you see it!
Speaking of Robert
Graysmith’s Zodiac book, I love to read even though I don’t have as much
time to do it as I would like. Heather
and I buy new books, old books, classics, used, just about anything. Yet there will always remain certain books
that I will read over and over again. Zodiac
is one of them, and realizing this, I wanted to jot down a list of those I
could think of off the top of my head.
I’d love to see a similar list from any of you – what books have you
read multiple times, and expect to read them again and again as the years go
on? For me, the list would include (in
no particular order – and I’m sure I am leaving out quite a few too):
Kurt Vonnegut’s Cat’s
Cradle, Welcome to the Monkey House, Slaughterhouse-Five;
Robert Graysmith’s Zodiac; Dune and The White Plague by
Frank Herbert; Any books in the “Calvin & Hobbes” or “Get Fuzzy” series; Maus
I and II by Art Spiegelman; Allan Eckert’s The HAB Theory; the
collected Sherlock Holmes stories; HOUSE of Leaves by Mark Danielewski;
Jay Anson’s The Amityville Horror; Salem’s Lot, The Bachman
Books, and The Dead Zone by Stephen King (and maybe Night Shift);
Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein; all “Peanuts” books; Beatles
Forever by Nicholas Schaffner; Saturday Night by Doug Hill and Jeff
Weingrad; all of the Paradox Press “The Big Book of…” series … and I am sure I
could (and should) add about 20 other titles to this list. Odd to find so many science fiction titles
here, since I really don’t read much Sci Fi anymore. Lately I’ve been concentrating more on biographies,
history, and often modern essays like those by David Sedaris or Augusten
Burroughs.
As long as I am making
lists, I plan on publishing my list of the 100 favorite movies in an upcoming
issue. This will be a list with the
titles in no particular order – and it isn’t a list of what I consider the BEST
100 movies ever, just the 100 I love to watch again and again. Start working on yours so we can
compare! I’m interested to see what
movies appear over and over.
Before I forget, a
relative of a friend is suffering from her SECOND rare disease. She was diagnosed with Mastocytosis in 2002,
and now after giving birth to her son, she has been diagnosed with a Desmoid
Tumor. Two rare diseases in the same
person, what are the odds? Anyway, she
has a blog where she talks about dealing with all of these issues, and I
promised I would mention it. They’re
looking to put a banner ad on it, so they can earn a couple of cents for each
pageview. Every little bit helps. If you’d like to read it, or post a word of
support, I am sure she’d appreciate it.
When her counter went to just “7” she got excited, because it helps her
to know she isn’t completely alone in all of this. It doesn’t cost anything, and I think she
finds it very therapeutic (I know when I write about emotional topics in my blog,
like my father’s death which I wrote about recently, I feel better
afterward). You can see the blog at:
http://www.soulcast.com/lnolan876/
In Sports, baseball
season is finally upon us. In fact, as I
write this my Texas Rangers are set to take the field for their first Spring
Training game in about 8 minutes. Hmm,
let me see if I can get it on the radio here … yup, must be the Rangers, they
stranded a runner in scoring position in the top of the 1st. Since the season is upon us, this seems like
the perfect time to give you my Major League Baseball predictions. I’m not concerned though – by the time the
World Series rolls around none of you will remember what the heck I predicted
in the first place. Unless somebody goes
to the trouble of downloading the old pdf file of this issue – and I think we
both have better things to do with our time, don’t you?
National League East –
National League Central –
This is the most exciting division in the NL.
Young and improving
National League West –
The Barry Bonds circus has me so disinterested in this division. Ho hum!
Really the five teams aren’t that far apart, so this is sort of a
crapshoot (as opposed to the other divisions where my choices are clearly
scientific and highly technical). Let’s
say LA,
American League East –
Oh, the hated Yankees. Even when I lived
in
American League Central –
What used to be the worst division in the American League is becoming the
best. But pphpht to
American League West –
Bullpen strength and chemistry help my Texas Rangers win the division for the
first time since the Johnny Oates regime.
Now if we can just sign Ian Kinsler and Mark Texeira to long-term
contracts like we did with Michael Young.
Wild card teams will be,
let’s see…
A final Sports note – why
do my Dallas Mavericks get so little respect by the national press? Does it all go back to their meltdown in the
finals last year? Or is it because Dirk
isn’t a flashy player like LeBron or Wade?
Either way, they just seem to find new ways to win night after
night. Watching them blow the finals
last year was painful, that’s true, but I never expected them to get that far
in the first place. The fact that they
did is a positive, not a negative. Now
they have the hunger to get back…let’s see if they can beat
Pretty light going this
issue (aside from the movie-related comments you’ll find in the prior
section). Heather has been too busy
obsessing on every detail of our wedding (35 guests, no money, and eight months
away…but that’s Heather for you) for us to get out of the house much. The near future doesn’t look much better, as
she started her Algebra class on Saturday (she needs three more classes for her
Associate’s Degree, taking one at a time in weekend college), and we’ve got
some kind of social commitment for me to meet some of her friends on St.
Patrick’s Day which pretty much eliminates that weekend. But here’s what I’ve got for you!
The Departed – As I write this review, in less than twelve hours we’ll
discover if this movie wins Best Picture at the Academy Awards, or if Martin
Scorsese wins his first Best Director. I
need to be careful with this review, because the plot has a lot of twists and
turns, and I am sure many of you have yet to see it.
If “The Godfather” gets a
10, and if “Goodfellas” gets a 9, this movie is more like a 7. I don’t know what I expected, but with all the
hype surrounding the film perhaps my expectations were too high. It feels overlong, and to be honest this was
NOT Scorsese’s best directing work. The
performances are decent, but you’ve seen all these actors better in other films
(except Mark Wahlberg, this is the best I’ve seen him). The story focuses on mob boss Jack Nicholson,
and the efforts of the State Police to infiltrate his crew and bring him
down…and, likewise, Nicholson’s efforts to infiltrate the SIU with a mole. Who lies, and for what reason, and when is it
okay to do so? These topics are tread
upon but the necessities of the plotline keep us from really going deep into
them.
To be honest, while I
wanted to see how the story tied up its loose ends, I didn’t care for any of
the characters one way or another.
Succeed or fail, live or die, it didn’t matter to me. I don’t know if my personal experiences
clouded my views too much or not.
Suffice to say, I enjoyed the movie but I didn’t LOVE it. Let me know what you thought!
Also Seen on DVD: Big Fish (B+, see my feelings on
that film and how it made me really miss my father on my blog); Strangers With
Candy (B – funny but not as funny as the departed TV Show), The Life and Death
of Peter Sellers (B-); Owning Mahoney (B, not as good as I had heard);
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (B+, another great Charlie Kaufman script but
overpopulated with George Clooney’s friends).
Andy York: I gave "Last King of Scotland" a B (saw it last
November). I think Whitaker did a once in a lifetime performance and deserves
the awards. Children of Men is reviewed in my latest subzine. I gave it an A+.
Whitaker certainly has come a long
way since “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” hasn’t he? As for “Children of Men,” I liked it, I just
wasn’t as blown away by it. Maybe it is
just where I am coming from. A few
scenes stay with me though – the one where the bus first pulls into the Camp
and they yank the woman off in particular.
And of course the whole staircase scene during the heavy fighting was
exceptionally well-done.
A thought point, is the
subzine going to be original material (i.e. devoid of reprints of what's on
your website) or a "print" version of the best of the website?
It will be mostly new material,
but my movie reviews in particular will appear on both. I imagine the things I write for the subzine
will be generally targeted to a different audience – the web page is more for
family and personal friends, although the movie reviews I try to spread around
(they are the only things I bother putting on my MySpace page anymore, for
example).
Jim Burgess: I kinda liked “Children of Men” a bit more than you
did.... that really is a comment. I
think many people didn't "get it" and you do get a big dose of
"28 Days Later", don't you, but without the flaws (I hate the scene
in 28 when [right after they stock up on everything they might want in a
supermarket] the guy goes in the creepy gas station so he can get attacked....
just nonsensical and there were a few "zombie movie" moments like
that). But in Children, I liked that it
was [deleted as plot spoilers] and did you notice [spoiler]? Not anything you can write in a review before
people see it, of course.
…which is why I deleted it. But yes I noticed all of that, although in my
mind it didn’t necessarily mean what it sounds like YOU think it means. That didn’t bother me though – I don’t
require an instructive, complete ending.
I actually would have liked it if they chose to leave out the last scene
altogether, or at least the last 60 seconds.
Graham Wilson: I remember having a great time playing Colonia in Fred
Hyatt's old zine. I also recall pulling
off a solo victory as
I still miss Fred, I have fond
memories especially of a few VERY long phone calls we shared.
Much in life has
changed. I've changed jobs (twice) and
addresses (twice) since I used to get your zine. New cat (all the others died). Same wife :-). But the baby is now 9.5 years old. I recall you used to live in NJ. What brought you to
Oh boy, that’s a long story…short
version, the company I had worked for since 1986 went out of business in 1994,
and my boss at the time secured us BOTH employment with a national company
which was opening a new Dallas office.
My wife Mara was looking for an excuse to move away from her relatives,
so it all fit. Six months later my boss
and the company parted ways, but I stayed on until they closed down in
1998. So here I am, 13 years later,
divorced and now engaged again. And I
still have one of the same cats – Tigger, who is 18 years old now but thinks
she is a kitten. She’ll probably be the
last cat for a while. When she is gone
we’ll take some time off from pets, and then look to get a dog. Heather really wants one; she goes crazy over
every dog she sees, making baby talk and goo goo eyes. In fact, it has become a running joke where
she works: when a car pulls up to the window and Heather starts oohing and
aahing, the other women have finally learned that doesn’t mean a baby in the
car, it means a dog!
Mike Barno: Hi, and thanks for including me in your subzine
recruiting. Just send me the link and
I'll read it, probably every issue. I'll
probably just be a lurker but I might sign up for Dip, or a silly game if you
decide to run one. I might pop in for
your letter column when I see something to comment on.
Hmm, I’ll have to figure out what
strikes your nerves (Jim-Bob?) and then needle you until you make an
appearance.
TAP is a good place to be
hosted. Most folks from the old days who
have even a little Dip activity are at least on the TAP mailing list.
Not only is it a good place…heck,
these days it is the only place!
We were never close but
we saw each others' names and might have had a little game contact such as
Railway Rivals. I was a big con traveler
in the Eighties but all were east coast or upper midwest except a Pudgecon in
I actually think I might like to
attend a Con here in the
Jack “The Sack” McHugh:
Paul Kenny, my new toady, sent me your subzine announcement. I guess
this means I'll have to consider bring back my sub-subzine, since I was the
best part of your zine.
Well since you are and have always
been my toady, Paul must be my sub-toady.
The ranks of my minions continue to grow. Still, I won’t hold my breath on you writing
up anything for a sub-subzine…you’re too unreliable, too slow, and too much of
a Sackie-poo for that. Besides, your
Phillies drain all the strength out of you – they are your kryptonite.
I'm a the IT guy for a
small firm that makes boat/atv/jet ski trailers. I just got this job after working two years
for
Glad to know you’re doing well,
now where are Bwad and Mike G and Little Tommie Swider and the rest of the
clan? As for a visit from me, you should
probably ask your wife for permission first before you invite a convicted felon
to your house, don’t you think? As your
best friend Garret would have said – “Heh.”
Mark Nelson: Great to hear from
you. It has been several years. The last
time we were in contact I was producing a zine for an APA, but when I moved to
What frightens me more, than you
remember I sent those comments, or that you still have them?
Technically, I suppose
that I am still "involved" in the Hobby as I subscribe to Tom
Howell's OTS but I no longer play any games and only write locs on a very
infrequent basis.
As long as Crazie Markie is still
around in SOME form, all is right with the world. Hmm, actually, there is a lot wrong with the
world, so it must be your fault somehow.
Diplomacy (Black Press): Graham
Wilson, needs six more.
Balkan Wars IV (Black
Press): Signed up: Jack McHugh, needs six more.
Rules and map on request.
Colonia VII_B (White
Press): Fred Hyatt’s worldwide variant. Signed
up: Jim Burgess, Graham Wilson, needs 7 more.
Rules and map on request.
For other multi-player
games, I’m considering offering Acquire or Kremlin if there is any interest
from the readers.
Would anybody be
interested in a game of African Diplomacy?
How about a bourse game? Suggestions
are welcome. I’m also interested in
getting a PBEM game of Avalon Hill’s Advanced Civilization going (using their old
PC software). I just found mine in my
storage unit, and got it to work on XP with a DOS emulation program. Somebody on use net directed me to http://advcivladder.net/
which I have signed up on, but so far I haven’t gotten a response from whoever
maintains the list.
Joakim Spångberg publishes Corps Diplomatique,
which is also a subzine to The Blue Nose Special. His zine has openings in lots of games,
including Diplomacy, Britannia, Breaking Away,
http://www.konfliktspel.com/corps/
By the way, if you know of a Diplomacy or
gaming zine which you think I haven’t seen before, whether it is print, email,
or on the web, please feel free to give me the details. I’m trying to get a better feel for what is
out there – both for playing and reading, and simply to develop better toes
with the various hobby factions. Right
now I receive three print zines – TAP, off-the-shelf, and Damn
The Consequences – and if there ARE any others out there anywhere in the
world I’d love to know. Yes, there’s Graustark
(which I will sub to soon) – is Cheesecake still around? I’m also now seeing the aforementioned Corps
Diplomatique and The Blue Nose Special, plus Western Front by
email and Boris the Spider on the web…and I’ve sent an email to Robert
Lesco about Northern Flame v2. What else
am I missing?
Deadline For The
Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:
April 5th,
2007 – See You Then!