October
2008
By Douglas Kent,
Email: doug of
whiningkentpigs.com or diplomacyworld
of yahoo.com
On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com
– or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the Diplomacy World
website at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. Check out http://www.helpfulkitty.com for
official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his
available merchandise! Links to all of
the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button
in the main menu of
the Whining Kent Pigs website.
All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged
to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/
to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.
Quote Of The Month – “Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias.” (Mary in “Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)
Welcome
to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy publication that gets more depressed
when they see the Cowboys win a game than when they see their favorite team –
the New York Football Giants - lose one.
Obviously a lot of that has to do with living in Dallas, and the
pleasure I get in seeing the Cowboys lose.
That is true this year more than ever, as so much of the sports press
has anointed the Dallas Cowboys as the NFC representative in the Super Bowl
despite the fact that they haven’t won a playoff game in over a decade. Go figure!
So September is done
with, and we move on to October and the wonderful fall weather…except that we
don’t get much good fall weather down here.
At least, as it gets colder, there’s hope that Heather’s ankle will be
well enough to let her walk around in some sexy black boots. In truth, her ankle
has never been fully healed from the injury she suffered a few weeks before our
wedding. She was going to go to an
orthopedist a few weeks ago, but then it stopped hurting, so I suppose we are
on a wait-and-see approach at the moment.
Hopefully it will hold up…because there is almost nothing sexier than a
woman in black boots. Heather is fully
aware of my opinions on that subject, as I put them in my on-line ad through
which we originally met! Well,
technically we met through her on-line ad, but she saw mine too. One of these days I’ll let you gentle readers
suffer your way through the play I wrote about how we met and the beginning of
our relationship. Fortunately for you,
that “someday” isn’t right now!
Instead,
you’ll find more of the usual junk in this issue; letters, movie reviews,
games, and some more of the “Grab a Shovel” story. At this moment I’ve got nearly two pages done
of that saga, but I may find time to write additional material before I
publish. Remember to check out the Game
Openings section, as we’ve got a bit of progress for the next Diplomacy game,
as well as a new opening in Woolworth II-B (rules and map in this issue, in
case you’ve never played it). Woolworth
is a 10-nation Diplomacy variant, but with only five players. Each player controls one nation publically,
and one secretly. It makes for an
interesting but simple variant. If you
want to sign up for Woolworth, be sure to send along a nation preference
list!
I
also want to urge all readers to join in the Hypothetical of the Month. You can write as much or as little as you
like for each month’s question or questions…but the more people who respond,
the more fun. Besides, if we can’t get a
decent level of reader participation, how can I ever hope to run a game of Sea
of Despair?
Heather’s
schoolwork is going very well, and she’s enjoying her classes. By that I don’t JUST mean she is enjoying the
time she spends with the animals; she is enjoying the classes themselves, and
everything she is learning too! Of
course, in typical Heather fashion, she is falling in love with every dog and
cat she sees, and has been bugging me about this black and white female cat she
has her eye on. All the animals have
standard numerical designations: C1, C2, C3 for cats, D1 and D2 for dogs…but
you just KNOW Heather has to name every one of them in her head. Well, the cats and dogs; not the goats or
horses or cows. You’d think she has
enough love and “help” from Toby and Sanka to deter
her from trying to cram a third cat into our apartment (and our lives). Speaking of which, here’s a photo of Toby
(The Helpful Kitty – www.helpfulkitty.com
and www.cafepress.com/helpfulkitty)
“helping” with Heather’s laptop. Isn’t
he the sweetest thing? So handsome, and
EVER so helpful!
Before
we drift off into the usual foolishness, I wanted to give you an example of
today’s version “customer service.” Back
in February, when Heather was trying to get her class schedule set up in such a
way that she could complete all her prerequisites to the Veterinary Technology
or Veterinary Assistant program, she was having a lot of trouble getting
enrolled in a particular math class, because the class one level below that one
(which she was already taking) hadn’t ended yet. Phone calls were doing to good, so in an
effort to get a faster and more efficient response, I used the school’s
preferred method of communication: email.
Here is the response I received, a few days ago:
Subject
---------------------------------------------------------------
Prerequisites
Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Response (Debbie ******ison) - 09/23/2008 03:26 PM
We apologize for the delay in responding to the
question you submitted through DCCCD’s “Ask a Question” online form. Our goal
is to respond to every question promptly, but that did not happen in your case
due to technical and process issues that have now been resolved.
We hope that your question has already been answered by someone in DCCCD. If
you still need an answer to your question, please reply to this e-mail so that
we may help you now. If you need immediate assistance, contact us at 214.***.2135.
Once again, we apologize for any inconvenience this situation may have caused
you.
Customer (Douglas Kent) - 02/20/2008 03:17 PM
I have a question about prerequisites. Here is the situation. My
wife needs two classes in order to qualify for a program at Cedar………
Not bad, huh?
It only took them SEVEN MONTHS AND THREE DAYS to
respond! This is the email equivalent of
being put on “ignore” (which is the term I use for when a customer service
associate puts you on hold for more than five minutes). What is your worst customer service
experience? I’d like to hear about it
(and obviously, this is not the worst one in my lifetime, just a recent amusing
example). Oh, and as a late follow-up,
Heather received a similar email two days later, responding to an email she
sent three days before mine! I guess
they are working their way backwards.
While we’re on the topic of customer service, I
pre-ordered a book on Amazon back in March, which was another installment in a
series Heather really enjoys. It arrived
this week, and they charged me the full cover price instead of giving me the 50
cent discount for pre-ordering. I was
going to just let that go, but then I realized they were now selling the book
for 40% less, three days after it was released!
So I got in touch with their customer service department and let them
have it…as a result of which, they gave me the money back. Then – and this is the part that bugs me –
they tell me that they have a 7-day guarantee on pre-orders so that if they
offer the book for less within seven days of release, you get the
difference...but ONLY if you ask for it!
That means I have to check on the price of every pre-order I do after
the fact! Oh well…that reminds me, if you want to
do something to help support the cost of the www.whiningkentpigs.com and www.diplomacyworld.net
web sites without costing you anything extra, any time you want to order
something from Amazon.com you should go to one of those two web sites and click
on the Amazon ad at the bottom of the page.
That brings you directly to Amazon.com, but because you came via
our web site link we get a tiny commission on whatever you buy (unfortunately
it doesn’t apply when *I* buy stuff!)
We’ve earned like $20 over the past few months from those links, and
every little bit helps, because those sites are not free! If anybody remembers to do that, I hope you
know we really appreciate it!
Here’s
a question I came up with last night while Heather and I watched a DVD about
animal rescue: if you are a person who believes in healing by faith, to the
extent that you will not go to the doctor or receive a blood transfusion, will
you bring your pets to the vet? (There’s
no punch line; I’m legitimately curious).
My guess is yes you will, because a person who follows such a belief
system likely does not believe that the animals have their own souls, and that
God only heals humans. Does anybody
happen to have an answer, or know someone they can ask?
Grab a Shovel – Part
Two
Even
though I had volunteered for Landscaping, Burger kept me on a short leash
initially. I did have two inmates who
vouched for me, which meant Burger was willing to generally give me the benefit
of the doubt: there was Smiling Sal, the New Jersey con man and thief who had
some ties to organized crime, and Chuckie, a very
funny and loud little guy who was in prison for white collar securities fraud
of some sort. Chuckie
lived across the aisle from me in our building, and he was the inmate who gave
me the nickname “Lucky.” Unfortunately
for me, he didn’t mean that as a compliment, but as a backhanded insult. Chuckie and I would
play gin quite often, for “meats.” “Meats” were pouches of tuna, mackerel, and
salmon which were one of the accepted currency forms in the prison system
(besides stamps). They cost about $1
each at the time, and anybody on a weight-lifting or workout program, or a
protein-heavy diet, would eat a ton of this stuff. They’d mix it with mayo, or with instant rice,
or even make tacos out of it. You could
always find somebody willing to buy meats off of you for 70 or 80 cents on the
dollar in piles of ten pouches; you give them the meats, and they would buy you
what you wanted from commissary in exchange.
I love fish…except for mackerel, tuna, and salmon, that is. So I never ate the stuff; I would just buy it
for currency, or to trade or give a barber for a haircut.
Chuckie considered himself
a very good gin player. I happen to be
one as well, a skill which my father proudly taught me. I have some very fond memories of playing gin
with my father for a penny a point. He
never took it easy on you or let you win, but he would point out when I started
playing in predictable fashion or making really stupid moves. So by trial and error I learned to play quite
well. But for some reason, I didn’t NEED
to play well against Chuckie, because I was always so
incredibly lucky against him (hence the nickname). It didn’t matter who was dealing, or what the
stakes were. On two out of three hands I
would seem to get dealt a beautiful gift of a hand, and instead of being greedy
I would always try to knock quickly and rack up some easy points. It was quite demoralizing for Chuckie to deal a hand, and after we’d each played a card
or two stare in disbelief while I knocked with three. “You’re not even a good player!” he’d scream
at me. “That’s just fucking LUCK!” then he’d retreat to his cube and hurl the
meat pouches at me one at a time as hard as he could, hoping to smack me in the
face. Sometimes he’d take his deck of
cards and rip them up, tossing them out the window or in the trash. “Fuck you Lucky, I am never playing gin with
you again. You fag! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag!
I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding…..you
faaaaaaaaaaggggggg!”
But,
time and time again, he’d come back to play…usually within 10 minutes. “Okay Lucky, that’s it, let’s double the
stakes this time. I’m going to kick your
ass, you fag! I’m just kidding, I’m just
kidding.”
“I’ll
knock with six.”
“You motherfucking lucky bastard! Fuck you!”
…and
the cards fly out the window again.
Smiling
Sal, on the other hand, carried himself like a true Wiseguy. He never got depressed and rarely got angry
(he preferred to get even). There wasn’t
a single racket going on in the prison which Sal wasn’t somehow involved
in. Cigarettes had been banned for some
time, but somehow there seemed to be a constant supply for those who were
willing to pay for them (upwards of $4 for a smoke). I am certain Sal was involved, but I never
asked in what way. He would have told me
though, because he trusted me to keep my mouth shut. Sal was also the main prison bookie, willing
to take bets on any pro or college game, for meats or stamps. On occasion he’d have to get rough with
somebody for not paying, but usually the people who bet were regulars and paid
eventually. Every once in a while they’d
drag him up from to the Administration Office to accuse him of one infraction
or another, and to let them know that they were on to his scams. But Sal never backed down, and never admitted
anything, because he knew that if they could prove anything, they
wouldn’t waste time talking to him about it.
He went so far once to deny knowing anything about gambling or being a
bookie, and then as he walked out the door, offering the staff 3 to 1 odds that
he wasn’t involved in that kind of thing.
Sal was a good guy, and full of funny stories.
Despite
the dusting of snow we’d received the day I signed up for Landscaping, as luck
would have it the real snow wasn’t going to start for a week or two. In the meantime, we spent our days raking
leaves. There were always tons of leaves
to rake, and if we couldn’t find any on the compound itself, Burger would send
us into the nearby woods to rake them from the ground. In many ways this was mindless busy work, but
I didn’t mind it at all. I was getting
fresh air, exercise, and time away from the housing units. Plus there was the added bonus of listening
to the lazier inmates bitch and moan about what a waste of time this detail
was…and enjoying Burger’s responses to their complaining, or when he caught
them slacking off.
Sarcasm
was Burger’s favorite weapon, or outright insults if that didn’t work. During one of my first days raking leaves, it
had started to rain, but Burger wasn’t showing any signs of bringing us back to
the Landscape garage. After a few
minutes, one of the grumpier inmates piped up.
“Yo, Burger, it’s raining!”
“Well,
how about that, you figured that out all by yourself without a college
education?”
“Well
how hard does it have to be raining before we can stop raking these stupid
leaves?”
“A lot harder than this!”
Insults
were usually reserved for special occasions, but sometimes he liked to mix
sarcasm and insult together. One day he
was yelling at an inmate, telling him to get his “lazy Mexican ass out of that
chair and into the truck!”
“Yo Burger, I tell you, I not from Mexico, I no
Mexican. I am from Guatemala!”
“Okay
then…Southern Mexican!”
Pretty
soon, the inevitable snow arrived, and the real fun began. In the winter, the Landscape detail gets
divided into three pieces. The regular
day shift basically stays the same, but they also create work details (by
pulling inmates off of other details like Orderly or Rec
duty) called Landscape 2 and Landscape 3.
Those details, hated as they are, are still just about the easiest jobs
in the whole place. If you’re on
Landscape 2 or Landscape 3, you’re assigned to a particular area like Front
Sidewalk, Front Circle, Unit E Walkway, Unit F Walkway, and Staff Parking
Lot. If it is snowing heavily, or icing
up, and the staff at the Medium Security facility decides to call out the snow
crews, a CO comes by and finds you (or wakes you up). Landscape 2 was responsible for snow and ice
from 4pm until midnight, and Landscape 3 from midnight until 8am. But with counts every few hours at night, the
worst these guys could expect would be to get called out once or twice in an vening, and even then only once or twice a week…and, with
no CO’s watching them, they could do the absolute minimum amount of work, push
a shovel or a street broom around, throw down some dirt, and go back to
bed. And that was it; they had no
responsibility during the day at all.
But MAN did they bitch and mown when they had to work for ten minutes!
Actually
it was Landscape 2 that had it easiest, because Landscape 3 had a habit of
being called out right after the 5am count, so they could clear the walks and
put dirt down before the day staff started to arrive. And Burger lived only a few miles away, so he
had a nasty habit of showing up at 630am and – if he didn’t like the job they
had done – having the Landscape 3 crew called back out to work again. Still it was a joke of a job. They didn’t get paid anything (12cents an
hour for hours Burger thought they actually were called out to work, which
meant a buck or two a month), but they didn’t have to DO anything either. They’d spend their days at Recreation,
watching TV, or doing anything else they felt like.
Landscape
1, the day crew…we were the real workhorses.
8am to 4pm, seven days a week if necessary, we were the ones they called
on to deal with the snow and the ice…and there was a LOT of it!
Last
month, I posed the following: You’re out with your significant other or spouse,
and another couple. You have your dinner
in a booth at a noisy Irish restaurant where there is a live band playing, but
you’re seated in a booth with walls so there is some privacy. The waitperson has to get in close to hear
everything. The meal is a social one,
with lots of talking and joking. The
waitperson gets involved here and there, making physical contact with you
gently a few times, grabbing your arm and so-forth. Probably innocent,
and you think nothing of it. You’re the
only one not drinking. You’ve decided to
treat the other couple to dinner without telling them, so you excuse yourself
to “use the restroom” and find the waitperson so you can settle the tab before
anyone is the wiser. When you do so, the
waitperson offers you their phone number as well as the check, with a sly
smile. How do you respond? What specifically do you say or do?
Melinda Holley: Well, first I'd be flattered *g*. But I would explain
(with a smile) that I'm currently in a relationship with someone and very
happy. And hand the phone number back with
a 'but thank you for asking'.
Tom Swider: Because there's a lot of joking going on, I think it's okay to difuse the matter
with humor as that is already the mood. I'd tell the waitperson, "Did my
SO put you up to this?", and joke a little. I'd then explain that although
I'm flattered, that I'm already seeing somebody and that I'm monogomous. I'd then disclose the matter to the group AFTER
the check arrives at the table and the waitstaff says
that it's "your treat" and leaves. I'd say something along the lines
of "you won't believe this, but ..." Maybe suggest a 5-some or
something absurd so it's clear that it's a joke, and then suggest moving on to
the next bar for another round.
Allison Kent - I take their phone number and go back to the
table. When we get in the car, I tell James. Just because I know he
will remember now that I am still attractive to other men. Plus he will
say something stupid about how the waiter was such a dork and then ask me
seriously ten minutes later if I found him attractive. Then, he will ask
me where I put the number because he wants to call him and I will tell him I
left it on the table..... but I really
didn't. It is in my drawer with the other numbers. I look at them
once in awhile to remind myself that I am not as ugly as I think I am....
My answer was to
say “I am really flattered, and if I wasn’t happily married I would definitely
give you a call.” Heather, however,
seems to think that my response is way too forward,
and offers some kind of false hope. I
don’t get it. Why is
it wrong to explain that the lack of interest is not due to a lack of
physical attraction, but rather due to the fact that I am married, happy,
loyal, and faithful? If I just did what
Heather wanted, which would be “No thank you, I’m married,” it sounds more like
I’m rejecting them because of THEM.
All this came about from an actual
dinner we had. All of it was true,
except the waitress never offered me her phone number or showed any interest in
me. I simply TOLD Heather she did
because she is so damn cute and possessive when she gets jealous. Actually, when she read it in this latest
issue she came stomping into the bathroom while I was taking my shower, yelling
“You never told me she grabbed your arm!”
Clearly Heather needs some sort of therapy…why she imagines any other
woman besides her would be interested in me is beyond my comprehension.
So, this month, a much simpler
hypothetical question: Would you
rather have uncontrollable, loud flatulence for the rest of your life, or live
shrimp for nipples? And
why?
If
I ever find my copy of the game “A Question of Scruples” in my storage unit,
I’ll pull a few of the more interesting cards out and use them here too.
In Search of a
Midnight Kiss
– I’ve never been to Los Angeles. While
I do hope to successfully get a screenplay produced someday, it isn’t something
I hold out real promise for. Maybe if my
life had gone differently, if I’d been free to give that a shot in youth, I
could have been a character in this low-budget but insightful and inspired
film.
Alex
Holdridge wrote and directed this black-and-white
look at the fringe show business element; the actors and screenwriters who came
out to the west coast with their eyes open, realizing they could easily fail,
but still hoping to somehow succeed against the odds. For Wilson (Scoot McNairy – yes, that’s not a
typo) things did not start out so well.
He rolled his car on the way from Texas, he had his laptop stolen (along
with his screenplay), and now he’s living with his roommates, moping and
smoking pot while he laments his bad fortune.
With
New Year’s Eve about to arrive, they convince his to post an ad on Craigslist
to try and find someone to spend the evening with. “It’s too late for Myspace
or Match.com, Craigslist is your only hope” his pal tells him. Through this ad he meets Vivian (Sara Simmonds), a sharp-witted and slightly unbalanced woman who
is “interviewing” a number of men before deciding who to spend New Year’s Eve
with. The process of elimination leads
to Wilson, and they begin spending the day (and night) together, in a journey
through Los Angeles by foot, subway, and car.
At
first, while the dialogue is effective and random, we’re not sure where this
story is going to take us. But soon
we’re led through the characters hopes, their ability to unhappily face reality
(in some cases), and their desire not to completely give up on their
dreams. I imagine Los Angeles, and the
desperate multitudes watching year after year slip by without any progress, to
be very much the way these characters are portrayed.
The
black and white imagery works especially well.
A building can look beautiful one moment, and decrepit the next, as can
the characters. And unlike in many
typical films, each character has far more history and back-story than we will
ever learn, and those memories can be driving forces in their choices and
actions. Just like real people. As Vivian says, “Sometimes you just have to
let the shit storm come, take out your umbrella, get out there, and
dance.” Life has no rewind button, and
it takes a lot to find the right person; or to know when you haven’t.
I
am unsure if In Search of a Midnight Kiss is in national release yet, but if it
is, go see it.
I believe the experience will be better on the big screen than on DVD.
America the
Beautiful
– Writer and Director Darryl Roberts opens his documentary on the American
fascination with beauty, and how it is defined, by admitting that he had been
dating a wonderful woman, but had never asked her to marry him because he
always felt he could find a woman who was just as wonderful, but more
beautiful. With his former love now happily
married to another man, he looks back and wonders what made him weigh about the
superficial aspect of the relationship so heavily. Who decides what is beautiful, and who is
making money off of that definition?
With
this lofty question, he sets out to learn the answers, and the result is the
film America the Beautiful. Roberts
spends a good deal of time introducing us to Gerren
Taylor, a 12-year-old runway model who for a time was all the rage in Los
Angeles fashion circles. Watching her
strut in clothes designed for women twice her age, with the swagger of a
sexually-active adult, gives the audience some of the same uncomfortable chills
that portions of Little Miss Sunshine might have. With the typical controlling, aggressive,
live-through-her-daughter mother, Gerren is a child
thrust into an adult’s world, and we all know it can’t end in a positive
way. Someday, either during or after the
film, she is going to be set up for a fall from grace.
Roberts
touches on a number of other topics throughout the documentary: our obsession
with unhealthy, thin models; the cosmetics industry, and how some of the
products may contain toxic materials; bulimia and anorexia, and how advertising
and society can be a contributing factor; plastic surgery, to the extremes of
surgery for pets, and the “designer vagina” fad; a web site devoted to
“beautiful people” who need to be voted in to become members; and much more.
If
the film has a flaw, it is that it tries to cover too much ground and discuss
too many topics. An interview with an
“expert” who has a theory on why society prefers lighter skin could have been
eliminated completely; it serves no purpose other than to paint the expert as a
nut, but his theory is never really explained.
And some topics could be an entire film in themselves, such as the culture
on Fiji and how drastically it changed – including its views on beauty – when
television was introduced. But America
the Beautiful does provoke thought and discussion. So, in that regard, the film is
successful. And I think the overall
point of the topic can be summed up by a woman who works with a national eating
disorders group, where she said (and I am quoting from memory “If people build
a time machine and come back to look at this society, they’re going to see a 90
pound girl over here, spending $30,000 a month in a hospital getting treatment
for an eating disorder, and they’ll see another 90 pound girl getting paid
$30,000 a month as a model, and they’re going to be unable to figure out what
the difference in the girls is.”
Don and Chris: A Love
Story
– I am generally ignorant of the writing of Christopher Isherwood, author of
such works as “A Single Man,” “Christopher and His Kind” and “I Am a Camera.”
Certainly I know the musical “Cabaret,” which was based on his books, but
that’s all I know. And I was even more
ignorant of the drawings of Don Bachardy. But neither ignorance lessened my enjoyment
of Don and Chris, because as the title states, this is more a story of love,
and of building a successful long-term relationship despite the odds.
Isherwood,
having moved to California from his native England, meets Bachardy
on a California beach, and over time they develop an openly gay
relationship. Despite their different
social classes, the anti-gay attitudes of society, and most importantly their
age difference (Isherwood was 30 years Bachardy’s
senior – and he was a mere 16 when they first met), the two became friends,
lovers, and a couple. Surviving
Hollywood at a time when many actors lived life in the closet, the two rode out
rocky periods and remained together until Isherwood’s death from prostate
cancer in 1986.
Mostly
told from the point of view of Bachardy (who is now
in his 80’s) through candid interviews, we follow their triumphs and
tribulations. In many ways, Bachardy was molded by Isherwood, to the point that a year
into their relationship Bachardy had unconsciously
adopted Isherwood’s mannerisms and even his English accent. But eventually Bachardy
had to grow into his own person, and through Isherwood’s urging and support he
found himself to be quite a talented portrait artist. In fact, this success was what would lead to
the rockiest period in their relationship, as the self-aware Bachardy now in many ways wished to break away from the
confines of the relationship.
Besides
the interviews with Bachardy and some friends, we are
treated to portions of Isherwood’s personal diaries (read by Michael York who
starred in “Cabaret” alongside Liza Minelli and Joel
Grey), and of cartoon segments based on two characters the couple created to
illustrate themselves in their relationship: Isherwood as the old stallion, and
Bachardy as the playful kitty. The ebbs and flows of their affections are
very touching, but nothing is as powerful as the last section of the film. This is where Bachardy
recounts Isherwood’s last year, and displays some of the countless sketches he
did of Isherwood as his body deteriorated.
Finally passing away one morning, Isherwood’s body lay in his bed while Bachardy continued to sketch him.
A
very early shot in the film shows their living room, and the two armchairs they
had occupied for so many years, side by side.
No focus is made of this at the time, just a subtle picture of the empty
space left behind when two people who had meant so much to each other, for so
long, are finally separated by death.
Above all else, Chris and Don is a tribute to that love.
Seen
on DVD
– Lars and the Real Girl (B+, very funny but also sweet and
sometimes rather sad. Good movie, as it
doesn’t hit you over the head with lessons or morals). Brokeback
Mountain (B, a pretty good film, and great scenery, but I didn’t find Heath
Ledger’s performance all that compelling).
Longford
(B, rather slow but as usual Jim Broadbent gives a solid performance). One
Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (A, a tremendous film that never gets old. Jack Nicholson at his best,
with an amazing cast). Dark Water Rising (A-, a
very moving and blunt film about animal rescue after Hurricane Katrina). Audrey
Rose (B+, the classic Anthony Hopkins film of reincarnation, still hold up
rather well). Jesus Camp (A-, a classic documentary look into the Evangelical
youth). Idiocracy (D-; why did Mike Judge fall to this level? The idea gets an A, the execution gets an F,
so it winds up with a 61 average). Dexter: Season 2 (A-, aside from the
generally rushed wrap-up of the story lines, this was a better season than the
first). American Gothic: Disk 1 (C-, Heather wanted to try this Sam Raimi-produced series, but the storyline is too poorly
written and clichéd).
Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn – Very good, suspenseful drama. I like the way she writes, and I liked the
subject material, even though it wasn’t exactly what I expected. 4 pumpkins. 
Nocturne by Elizabeth Donald – Great buy! Two books in one. Trashy vampire
romance/erotica, with a little mystery thrown in here and there. 3 ½ pumpkins. 
The Abstinence
Teacher by Tom Perrotta – This book was about the struggles of one sex
education teacher, and her desire to be honest with her student. Inevitably she is punished, and religious
fundamentalists force her to teach their abstinence policy as punishment. The point of view leaned more towards the sex
education teacher’s side of the issue, but it did try to show both sides. 4 pumpkins.
Nicholas by Elizabeth Amber – One of those books that you don’t
want people to see you read, because you’ll be embarrassed. But it’s HOT HOT HOT, and I highly recommend it! 3 ½ pumpkins.
Pawprints of Katrina by Cathy
Scott
– Great subject matter, but was written terribly. If the subject matter wasn’t so close to my
heart I would have given up. 2 pumpkins.
Untamed by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast – Another winner in
the “House of Night” series (yes, I know this is Young Adult fiction – 16 years
old or so – but I don’t care). It was
great, and I loved it, and I can’t wait for the next book…but I have to because
it doesn’t come out until March 2009, which really sucks! 4 ½ pumpkins.
The Greatest Albums
You Never Bought
As expected, nobody
had anything to say about my column last month.
I don’t think anybody actually READS the things I write! Anyway, let’s travel once again to late 1976. It isn’t at all uncommon for a performer or
group to have one or two big hits and then disappear, more-so in the 1970’s
than any other time. Enter Gary Wright,
who was well-known within some music circles but not to the general music
audience, despite his solo works and his time with Spooky Tooth. If nothing else, he is known for being a
friend of George Harrison (you can see a terrific Dick Cavett
Show performance of “Two Faced Man” on YouTube from 1971 with his band Wonderwheel, including George Harrison in the
background…and who among you can identify the musician standing in the middle
of the stage, playing electric guitar?)
Anyway, along comes Gary Wright’s mega-hit album “Dream Weaver” and its
two smash singles: the title track, and “Love is Alive.” Riding that sudden wave of success, in
November 1976, Wright releases the follow-up album “The Light of Smiles.” Taking the spiritual overtones of the prior
release and refining them (yes, “Dream Weaver” happens to be a spiritual song
in many ways), while building on top of its keyboard strength (aside from
percussion, all the music on “The Light of Smiles” is created on keyboards),
“The Light of Smiles” is arguably Gary Wright’s greatest achievement.
As
usual, while receiving some critical praise, the album itself was generally
ignored. Its sole single, “Phantom
Writer,” barely cracked the Top 50. But
the album as a whole is a tremendous accomplishment, from start to finish. In an age when the hit single was reigning
supreme, this is an album best listened to in one sitting. I was lucky enough to have an old 8-track
recording of Wright performing much of the album on “The King Biscuit Flower
Hour” which for many years I was able to enjoy…sadly, my cassette copy of the
8-track has now disappeared.
My
favorite tracks on “The Light of Smiles” comprise basically the entire first
side. In my youth, “Phantom Writer” was
the obvious choice, but these days I prefer tracks like “Who Am I” and “Time
Machine.” An import re-mastered CD of
the album is available, but at a high price.
Fortunately, early this year I discovered that Amazon has the re-mastered
version available for download in whole or on a track-by-track basis. Check it out!
Tom Swider: Interesting issue even if you said it was a short
one.
Forgiving yourself probably has a lot to do with emotional
intelligence. There's been a lot of research in the past 10 years or so
on this topic, tying emotions (a function of the amygdala)
and higher reasoning (function of the cerebral cortex) together because both
these areas were discovered to be joined together. The studies of Daniel Goleman and others
have led to the conclusion that emotional and soft skills like leadership and
empathy (and probably forgiving) are learned and that
if you're unskilled in these areas, that you can gain skill in them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala#Emotional_learning
The Department of Defense is very interested in this sort of thing
because learning about emotional intelligence is viewed as a strategy in
countering terrorism. EI is viewed as "cost efficient" in terms of
evolution because it helps the race as a whole survive. This new school of
thinking attempts to disprove Hobbesian views of how
the world works. Unfortunately, the old view is prevalent in the third world. If
a person's sense of identity is not easy to identify, then the world becomes
very black and white, and there's not much to live for. Religious bromides
become attractive, especially if they cannot be disproved and promise unearthly
rewards. So that's why you get kamikaze pilots and desperate Saudi 25 years olds from rich backgrounds but no real sense of self
who turn into terrorists.
[[I remember reading some book or a few articles on
this in prison. I am not a follower, but
I am not a leader either. Is there a
thing called “loner intelligence”? I
probably would have made a good Unibomber. Fortunately – for myself and society – I am
very empathetic so I don’t think I coul dver be a really violent person. Martyrdom is a non-violent way is more likely..]]
Philip Murphy: We haven't been in contact
before but I have been reading Diplomacy World for about a year now and I'm
impressed with the job you've done with it.
Anyhow, I was reading your zine, Eternal Sunshine and I just wanted to say I
wish I had the guts to speak out about my own life in the way you have done.
I'm a very private person when it comes to my own problems (don't we all have
them, sadly!) and I admire the fact that you are able to speak about what are
very personal issues.
[[I remember making a conscious decision in late
2002 or early 2003 simply not to care anymore…to just be open and honest and be
myself…and to stop trying to adjust my actions to fit in better. Not surprisingly, I am happier this way and
the world has treated me better. But my
level of openness can shock even myself at times. I think, in some ways, I am blunt like this
in order to push others way in a pre-emptive strike. It’s a possibility anyway.]]
I'm intrigued by what you said in ES #20 about not being able to forgive
yourself for your own failings in life. I myself sometimes find it hard to do
this.
But we all fail. We all make mistakes. We're designed that way. Nobody gets it
right 100% of the time. You know this of course. The fact that you can forgive
others (as you said) is proof of that.
It is far far better to try and to fail gloriously
than to never try. In life, in relationships, in careers, in
everything. Failure is a mark of having tried, too, even if the result
wasn't what we wanted!
Think of it this way. Even if you do everything right in a Diplomacy game, it
is possible to be beaten. The point is to strive to do your best. Life (and
Diplomacy :-) ) is a compromise between what you want
and what you get. The past failings in your life are no place for your mind to
dwell on.
Look instead to what you did do well. You have Diplomacy World back on its feet
and looking snappy. That, at least, is a success. Your family, your friends,
being alive and enjoying life.... these are the things which make it all
worthwhile.
[[While intellectually I can agree with everything
you said, emotionally I still have a lot of work to do on it. The realization that I am
actually a perfectionist, and that it is this which causes me to beat myself up
AND refuse to accept compliments, was quite surprising to me. I found it odd that someone who has felt so
pathetic and out of place lal my life would be
holding myself up to such a rigorous standard.
But I know it to be true, and so that’s one of the things I work on in
my therapy. Unfortunately, I’m down to
one appointment a month, but I do actually work on it anyway! I think a lot of this can be tied to my
childhood, but I haven’t started exploring that to its fullest yet. When I am done writing about prison, which I
hope to get published, my next project will either be my first marriage or my
childhood. When I write these personal
events, I am forced to deal with quite a bit of emotional baggage, so in a way
it is cathartic…which is a good thing, as long as I can handle it!]]
Andy York: Heather sounds like she's doing great with school!
Be sure and keep us updated.
[[She’s loving her classes
at the moment, especially her hands-on interaction with the animals. I know this is what she was meant to do. She thinks it is somewhat silly to be going
to school so she can get a job which pays less than her old one, but it isn’t
about the money…this is her calling. She
should be working with animals, period, in some capacity.]]
Regarding your comment about "guest-GM'ing or "writ(e)"ing "an
occasional (or monthly) column", as you know, I'm always available if
you'd like some badly adjudicated games or lengthy drivel and rambling
comments. Just let me know....
[[You’re always welcome to start your “Rambling” if
you get my pun. I have been rereading a
lot of W. Andrew York lately, in the process of scanning and posting old zines, both as columns and as full issues.]]
Regarding your memory comment, I think that is a common thing amongst us
humans. I remember all sorts of slights I committed, missed opportunities,
times when I went right and I should have gone left, etc. And, I do think most
people expect more of themselves than the do of others (I know I do). So, Doug,
you are human (yes, really!).
[[I
feel bad for the human race then!]]
I noted Heather read an old Heinlein book. Does/did
she like the military sci-fi parts of STARSHIP TROOPERS (not necessarily the
overtly political undertones)? If so, pick up John Scalzi's
OLD MAN'S WAR, and sequels - thoroughly enjoyable, though I haven't read the
latest. He was here for ArmadilloCon - great con
guest and his blog is very interesting.
[[Actually, she didn’t like ST at all…although it
remains one of my personal favorites.]]
I presume she has read the TWILIGHT series. Is she looking forward to the
movie?
[[She sort of fell out of the series just when
everybody else got into it, but not in a knee-jerk reaction…she simply did not
like the last installment she read at all!
As for the movie, I imagine we’ll see it, but she found the cover shot
on Entertainment Weekly to be exactly NOT what she thought the characters
should look like. So I am waiting to see
the trailers, and her reaction. Speaking
of movies, I am surprisingly NOT very interested in Watchmen after all these
years. I fear it will be so poor
compared to the original work. The only
version I ever felt interested in was when Terry Gilliam was trying to get it
together. But as usual, that fell
apart. Hmmm, which reminds me, I want to
add the Gilliam documentary about his La Mancha fiasco to our Netflix list.]]
In your response to my note last time, is "regarfing"
a word combining regarding and barfing?
[[Not even spell check can fix all of MY
mistakes! And I don’t use it much in ES
anyway.]]
Side Note - In Time magazine this week (09/15/08), they had a quote from a
Bolivian naval officer aiding a UN mission in Haiti.
Bolivia hasn't had a blue water coast in over 125 years and is landlocked.
[[Maybe I’ll enlist? I could be the Admiral!]]
A thought on the BPD game, is there a way you could put an extra line at the
very top or bottom listing the most common answer (maybe with the max possible
score)?
[[I always mean to, and forget to, do such a
thing. If I don’t now,
I **WILL** next game!]]
Dane Maslen: You mention various things you cannot forgive yourself for. One
of them is "For having no fashion sense." Come, come, not only
is this something that you do not need to forgive yourself for, it's something
to be proud of! You have proved yourself to have an individual rather
than a sheep.
OK, so I'll admit to having a vested interest in this. Not only do I have
no fashion sense, but I object to the very concept of fashion. A few
years ago I finally bought a mobile phone. Being terribly utilitarian in
my outlook I decided to dispense with the ridiculous ring
tone and make my mobile sound like an old-fashioned phone. A few
weeks later I was somewhat surprised to someone else's mobile ring in the same
way. Then a few days later I heard another. I mentioned this to a
friend. "Oh, yes, it's a very trendy ring tone at present", he
said. Oh, no! I'd accidentally been trendy. How was I ever
going to live it down?
Now if you'd said "For having no sense of what colours
clash." – something that I also have to admit to
- I would have had to admit that it's something to be ashamed of. My
house is decorated with very bland colours because I
know that it would be dangerous for me to select anything else.
[[In my case, as in yours, it is a combination of
ignoring – or having no knowledge of – current fashion, combined with a
decidedly damaged instinct for colors and all that sort of thing. I did LEARN a lot about it when I worked at
the suit store (we sold only very high-end Italian stuff: Brioni
and Ravazzolo mostly) but that was like learning how
to play a musical instrument but having no talent for it. I could do the job, matching ties and shirts
and suits in ways customers might not have thought of, producing very elegant and
appealing results…but I had no flair for it.
In our personal life, Heather chooses my clothes when we need to be
semi-formal, and gets quite a laugh at my utter disregard for colors when I am
casual. This is especially funny o her
because in most cases it isn’t that I am ignoring the “rules” but instead I
think I am following them when I am not!]]
Graham Wilson: Man, just gotta love
America politics. Much more exciting than Canadian
politics. Our politicians are different too - of the three leaders
(of the three major parties), one is a lawyer and two are
professors. And you, you have Sarah Palin.
Oh god I just cannot stop laughing over that one. Forgive me, but I just
cannot stop...
[[As a felon living in Texas, I am currently
without my right to vote…so don’t blame me for the political situation, folks! I am weary of discussing the credit crisis,
if only because I know all too well how government helped cause the problems,
allowed them to grow, and now wants people to believe they can solve them too. It isn’t a partisan issue – there’s plenty of
blame to spread around. They should
force schools to use Irwin Schiff’s long-out-of-print primer “How an Economy
Grows, and Why it Doesn’t” when teaching about the
fallacy of present-day “free markets.”
Washington is completely corrupt.
Anyone who wants an accurate portrayal of politics and the “democratic”
election process should go watch “Free For All,” one of the classic episodes
from Patrick McGoohan’s “The Prisoner” episode. Very little has changed in 40 years.]]
Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Melinda
Holley, Simon Gwilliam, need five more to fill.
Woolworth Diplomacy II-D (Black Press): Signed up:
None. Need five to fill. Rules and map this issue.
There will be another game of By Popular
Demand when this one ends, although I think I’ll include a Joker this time;
that’s where you get to choose one category to double your score each
turn. I may offer another Gunboat 7x7
soon, so keep your eyes open. In the
Word Game category, I think I will offer a game of Facts in Five soon. Oh, and if somebody wants to guest-GM a game
of anything, just say the word. If you
have game requests please let me know.
Woolworth
II-D (cb19)
by Glen Overby & Fred C. Davis
Jr., 1981
Rules re-written
and map drawn by Andrew Poole for Ten Best Diplomacy Variants (a.k.a UKVB Package 2). All the usual rules of Diplomacy (1971
rulebook) apply, except where amended below.
Woolworth Diplomacy is a five-player
variant. There are ten Great Powers in the game, each player controls two of these : a 'public' power which is known to all players, and
a 'secret' power known only to the controlling player and the g.m. Three Great
Powers (Balkans, Scandinavia and Spain) are added to the regular seven. The
initial set up for all the powers is as follows :
