November
2008
By Douglas Kent,
Email: doug of
whiningkentpigs.com or diplomacyworld
of yahoo.com
On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com
– or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the Diplomacy World
website at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. Check out http://www.helpfulkitty.com for
official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his
available merchandise! Links to all of
the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button
in the main menu of
the Whining Kent Pigs website.
All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged
to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/
to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata.
Quote Of The Month – “I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.” (Joel in
“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)
Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, and the big Halloween issue. Okay, there really isn’t anything here about
Halloween, or our anniversary, or my birthday (the 29th)…and if there *is* anything
worth mentioning about those dates, you’d have to wait until next issue to read
about them. I mean, if I told you (for
example) what little gifts I am giving Heather for our anniversary, that would
spoil the surprise, because she’d read this subzone before then! So you’ll simply have to wait (if you care,
which I doubt you do).
I don’t have that much to say this month. It feels like there hasn’t been much time in
October to stop and take a breath. I’ve
been working my butt off at the office, while Heather has been studying like a
madwoman in the Veterinary Tech/Assistant classes. You really should see her go; her level of
concentration is astounding. The two of
us think in very different ways, which Heather attributes in part to the fact
that she was an only child with a single parent for much of the time, while I
have five siblings. So, for me,
background noise or music can be helpful to focus my attention, or at least it
doesn’t bother me. Heather, on the other
hand, needs quiet to concentrate. So,
despite how completely contrary it is to my nature, when she’s studying I try
to be quiet: no talking, no singing to the cats, nothing. It must be paying off, because Heather has
done extraordinarily well on her exams so far!
Other than that, there isn’t much going on. Schedules and lack of interesting options has
kept us out of the movie theater for most of October, but we have watched a
number of DVDs, including some old movies and television shows. And the cats always keep us occupied, which
might surprise those of you who have no cats (and perhaps those who do, as
well). Toby and Sanka
both demand attention; sometimes it’s love they want,
and sometimes it’s play. Since Toby will
try to chew on your ankles (or climb up your leg) if you’re not playing with
him when he’s in the mood, it is best not to ignore him! And Sanka learns a
lot of tricks like that from her “big brother,” so she is not immune from some
sort of seemingly innocent use of her tiny, razor-sharp claws. Sanka doesn’t bite
when she plays though…you can tell she wants to, but she doesn’t feel
comfortable with the idea.
Fortunately, they are now always play kitties…they are both very
affectionate love bugs too. Sanka loves to curl up next to Heather on the sofa when
Heather is reading, purring as loud as a motorboat…and she’s not above climbing
on a pillow on my lap while I work at the computer, even if she does prefer to
be a momma’s girl. And Toby…Toby wants
to be picked up and held every time we come home, and when it’s time for bed he
has to jump up and knead his paws on the blanket (“doing nummies”
is the household term) before he leans up against me and goes to sleep. It is always a very comforting, peaceful
thing when I wake up in the middle of the night with Heather on one side, and a
warm Toby on the other. He also loves to
join Heather for naps, during which he’s begun to display a tendency to climb
under the covers with her. Sanka will come and go as she pleases, purring in our ears
until we pet her (usually half-asleep), but Toby
likes to stay in bed until it is finally time to get up.
And, of course, Toby and Sanka spend
most of their time chasing each other around the apartment like crazy panthers
or something, wrestling and rolling all over the place. As long as they aren’t getting too rough, we
let them be, but every once in a while we have to apply a squirt of a
spray-bottle to cool their jets.
Okay, enough of the cats.
In zine news, we are proud to introduce our first sub-subzine, from the lovely and talented Andy York. Andy used to do a subzone for my original
Diplomacy zine Maniac’s Paradise back in the 1990’s, and he even returned for a
while in my rebirth Maniac’s Paradise Lost.
And now he’s back! Be sure to
check his column out, and sign up for his game!
Incidentally, Andy’s coming up
to Dallas in December, when he, Heather, and I will go see the King Tut
exhibit. I saw the original in New York
City in my youth, but Heather was very keen to see this one, and as it turned
out Andy’s plans fit in perfectly with ours.
I’m sure there will be all kinds of wild stories about that visit. Andy is a bit of a party animal, and he’s
been talking about getting to meet Toby and Sanka
nonstop for weeks now! Actually, Andy
holds the distinction of being one of only three hobby members that I have ever
met face-to-face (and one of only two who met my first wife Mara). Hmm, you know, Mara used to have a column or
two of her own back in the days of Maniac’s Paradise: there was “You’re The
One,” where she’d describe life with a Whining Kent Pig such as myself, and later on she had “Oasis” where Mara ran a few
games and said nasty things about Jack McHugh.
I suppose that means there is historical precedent for Heather to do
something more substantial then her short book reviews. You’d all like to see more of Heather in
here, wouldn’t you? Send me an email
proclaiming your desperate need for MORE HEATHER, and maybe we can harass her
into contributing!
In other zine news, I still
have my latest Diplomacy opening, as well as Woolworth. If nobody signs up for Woolworth by next
issue I’ll drop it, and replace it with ANOTHER variant. I’ll keep sticking them in there until we get
one filled. Diplomacy actually has three
people signed up for it, so I expect that to fill in an issue or two. Don’t wait until the last minute…sign up
now. How many chances to you get to play
against Melinda Holley AND Stephen Agar in the same game? I don’t believe that’s been possible for over
a decade!
Enjoy your Halloween, and don’t
forget to send me lots of birthday presents (and – more importantly – send
Heather lots of anniversary/condolence “sorry you’re married to the freak”
presents). Even taking my cooperation
when she needs to study, you have no idea what she has to put up with at
home. I am quite a handful, and it is a
rare and cherished moment when I am not pushing her buttons or, as she calls
it, “deliberately misunderstanding” what she is saying. In Heather’s world, successful home life is
very simple: “just shut up and do what I say, damn it!”
PS – If you want more of Toby
and Sanka, visit www.helpfulkitty.com,
or their Cafepress store at www.cafepress.com/helpfulkitty
(which also includes a number of Diplomacy-related designs). Every item people buy earns us the big $1,
but that helps pay for the cost of the store and website. Heather and I always get a thrill when we see
someone has ordered a Toby or Sanka product (even
though it happens only once a month or less).
Great gifts for cat lovers and Diplomacy players!
Grab a Shovel – Part
Three
I
don’t want to give the impression that it snowed every single day during the
winter. In fact, it probably only snowed
about one out of every four days in total.
The problem would ne when we’d get hit with these long, heavy
“lake-effect” snowstorms. Those would
dump as many as four inches of snow an hour during their most powerful periods,
and could alternate between that and a few flakes, back and forth, until the
storm finally ended. Sometimes that
would mean three days or more in a row!
During
those periods, the routine was the same.
I’d wake up around 530am (as I always did on weekdays), and through the
bathroom window I could see the flakes falling thick and fast. Wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed
(including my heavy coat and clown-style snow pants), and off to breakfast I
go. This would be where I could see how
terrible the snow really was, as the Landscape 3 crew would have been forced to
wake up an hour or so earlier and – at the very least – clear a one-person-wide
path from the housing units to the Admin building. If the snow wasn’t so bad, the sidewalk would
be pretty clear and there would be lots of dirt thrown around…the “lazy man’s”
approach which Landscape 2 and Landscape 3 specialized in. But if they were using actual shovels, and
working, I knew we were in for a long day.
After
breakfast, which at this point in my BOP career had been reduced to cold kids’
cereal and weak coffee (hot breakfasts having been eliminated months earlier
for budget reasons), I’d have just enough time to go back to the housing unit,
collect my work gloves, and make a bathroom stop. Then I hightailed it to behind the mess hall
to wait for the van to come and pick up the offsite workforce (Garage, Power
Plant, Warehouse, and of course Landscape).
This was one of my least favorite times of day, because you had no
choice but to stand around in the cold and snow, stomping your feet, trying to
keep warm…and hoping that you’d be able to fit in the van when it arrived,
instead of being forced to wait for the next round-trip. Fortunately, I often didn’t have to wait for
the van at all, because I’d jump in the back of the Landscape truck when Krackle would pull up.
Krackle was sort of the head Landscape
inmate. He wasn’t a boss to anybody, but
he was given the responsibility of driving the truck and bringing inmates to
and from the areas they needed to work at (regardless of the season), Burger could count on him to do as he was
told, work hard, and take the job seriously.
Like me, his days went faster when he was working. Krackle
wasn’t generally in favor of ratting an inmate out to
Burger if they weren’t doing their job; he wasn’t that kind of guy. But if somebody was screwing around or
leaving his area to the point that Krackle could
conceivably get blamed or in trouble himself, he would do what he needed to in
order to be sure he wasn’t held responsible.
So as long as you didn’t screw with Krackle or
endanger his slightly-privileged position, he was fine with you. Burger would put the two of us together in
specific work areas quite often, because he knew we’d get the job done by
ourselves. In fact, he learned that jobs
were completed faster and to a higher degree if he didn’t saddle us with any of
the deadwood.
Anyway,
back to the snow. My area was always the
Front Circle, which was the circular driveway around the front of the main
complex Admin building (the entrance to the Medium Security prison next door to
us). It included the circle itself, the
sidewalk all the way around the outside of the circle, the parking spaces along
the circle (which often had cars in them), the flagpole area in the center of
the circle, and – most importantly – the huge paved sidewalk area directly in
front of the building entrance. The
paved circle itself (the cul-de-sac) was handled by the snow plows when the
snow was heaviest, but the sidewalk had to be kept clear at all times.
So
we’d stop in at the Landscape shop, get checked in as present (always very
important, because otherwise you were officially “out-of-bounds” and likely to
be headed to the Hole), and immediately be sent out to our individual areas…in
my case, as I said, the Front Circle. If
I was lucky, most of the parking spots would still be empty and I would have a
chance to clear the most important ones – those of the Warden and the
Administrator – before they arrived.
Otherwise, it was delicate work, trying to clear between cars with a
cheap metal shovel, the snow wet and heavy, knowing that if you slipped up and
scratched one of the cars you were going away for a while.
I
actually found it rather peaceful out at the Front Circle, when the snow was
falling and nobody else had showed up to work yet. Everything would be covered in a blanket of
white, which swallowed up most of the sound as well. No fights, no farting, no snoring...just peace,
solitude, the hypnotic pattern of the snow falling in the dark sky, and the
bare branches of the forest reaching upward.
For a minute, you could forget that you were in prison, and simply enjoy
nature. But you couldn’t do that for too
long; once other inmates showed up, you’d hear constant bitching and
moaning…and regardless, you had to get to work because to stay still meant to
freeze; the secret to being warm was to keep moving!
The
snow was almost always of a heavy, wet variety, so initially clearing the
sidewalks could be back-breaking work.
It was impossible to do it by lifting and throwing the snow – there was
too much area, and too much of the white stuff.
So you had to use your warped, rusted shovel as a mini-plow, pushing the
snow into piles on the far sides of the area, and then trying to scoop it up
and throw it over the growing mound.
Then you’d turn around, look behind you, and the area you had just
shoveled would be completely white again.
So you’d start all over again!
On
occasion, even with all that snow, you wouldn’t have to shovel, because if the
visibility became negligible they’d do a “snow recall” and order all inmates to
return to their living area for an emergency standing count (a “fog recall”
alert would happen 10 to 15 times a year as well). The bets news you could hope for was the
“snow recall” at around 2pm. By the time
they finished with the count, it would be too late to go back to work, which
meant the Landscape 2 crew would get stuck for a change. But that wasn’t a likely occurrence.
During
one “snow recall” I found myself fin a rather frightening situation. I had been dropped off at the Front Circle
after lunch, and I started shoveling, trying to get ahead of all the snow which
had accumulated during the meal. So I
worked for 30 minutes or so, and suddenly realized
that nobody else had been dropped off…and the snow was coming down a LOT
faster. I couldn’t see more than a few
feet in front of me. It dawned on me
that we could very well be in the middle of a “snow recall” and that I might
have been forgotten. That would not be a
laughing matter, because that would make me guilty of “interfering with a
standing count.” Despite
my innocent intentions, being out of place during the count guaranteed that I’d
be stewing in the hole for at least a few days, if not longer. I knocked on the front door of the Main Entry
building, and called to the CO manning the desk. He confirmed my fears: a “snow recall” had
been ordered. His only advice was to
start running; if the van had already taken the last load of inmates back, the
staff would not allow it to return to pick me up. I took off as quickly as I could, and when I
was halfway back to my unit I saw a pair of headlights making its was along the road behind
me. It was Krackle,
racing back to the unit. I jumped in the
back of the truck, and we made it back with about three minutes to spare. A close call. That’s what you get for showing up on time
for work!
Last
month, I posed the following: Would you rather
have uncontrollable, loud flatulence for the rest of your life, or live shrimp
for nipples? And why? Not much of a response, but here goes.
Melinda Holley: *sigh* I'd
have to go for the flatulence since I have not only allergic reactions to
seafood but a complete phobia about being close to sea creatures. You
see, I'm the hysterical person who was rushed out of the movie
theater that was showing Jaws. J
Tom Swider: I'll side with Heather
...saying "I'd definitely be interested" wouldn't be a good idea. You
don't owe the waitstaff further explanation. Saying
something like that could find its way back to your SO. For the new question, I guess I'd prefer live
shrimp because it would give me a place to keep my keys, assuming they
cooperate and hold onto things.
My answer is flatulence. How could you sleep with shrimp wriggling
around on your chest? Besides, you can
try to blame the farts on other people…or else there MUST be a few women in the
world with fart fetishes. You just
search around until you find one!
This month, a question submitted by
Heather (and all of you can feel free to suggest future questions): You have an addiction (other than sex). You can freely indulge in your addiction
forever without unwanted side effects; if it is food, you don’t gain
weight. Alcohol or
drugs? You can enjoy the effect
you want, but not suffer physical repercussions or damage afterward. But, the trade off is, you can never again
achieve an orgasm. Not during sex, not a
nocturnal emission, and not during masturbation. Would you make that trade?
We
didn’t make it to the movies at ALL this month.
So no reviews…but here’s what we watched on DVD. (PS – Heather thinks it is “so sad” that we
didn’t see any movies, but damn it, between schoolwork and that utter lack of
movies we were interested in – plus I think one weekend of a bad headache – it
just didn’t happen).
Seen
on DVD
– Soylent
Green (C+, now a cinematic
cliché but not really that bad). Oh God! (C, really rather boring after all these years). Hot
Fuzz (A-, maybe 40 laugh-out
loud moments, and another 100 good laughs.
Still terrific, even though we’ve seen it before). Rollerball (C+, this original still carries weight from its
realistic, barbaric violence – instead of fake sword fighting and CGI in movies
like Gladiator – but the stiff acting of James Caan
doesn’t’ age well). The House on Haunted Hill (C+, the Vincent Price classic is fun to
watch, but it would have been better if they dropped a bit of the foolish
drunken commentary from the house owner).
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf
(A-, watching this reminds you what a powerful actress Elizabeth Taylor was
in her day. A true
powerhouse performance). Absence of Malice (A-,
still one of my favorite Paul Newman roles from 1980 on).
Succubus Dreams by Richelle Mead – The long-awaited
(by me, anyway) third book in the series.
Definitely worth the wait. I loved it and I want the next one to hurry
up and come out! There was an unexpected twist at the end which I NEVER saw
coming. 5 pumpkins.
Vampire Diaries: The
Fury and Dark Reunion by LJ Smith – I know this is
Young Adult fiction but the stories are good, and suspenseful. This is a compilation of books 3 and 4 in the
series. I’m only a little embarrassed to
say I like it! 4 ½
pumpkins. 
Sunlight, Moonlight by Amanda Ashley – Has two books in one. This was really good. Paranormal romance. The first story is about an alien, and the
second about a vampire, each of them falling in love with mortal women. Nice little trashy reads, which are perfect
when your brain is tired from studying too much. Yay. 4
pumpkins. 
Everyone Else’s Girl by Megan Crane – Decent story about a girl who plays the
martyr, always sacrificing herself for everybody else in her family. She is finally learning to think about what
she wants from life and the world. 3 ½ pumpkins.
Savage Membrane by Steve Niles – His writing style is extraordinary. It’s edgy, to the point with its
descriptions, and the action keeps on coming fast and furious. The protagonist is so likeable, but has such
horrible qualities as well: foul mouthed drug addict psycho who fights monsters
who you love anyway. You can definitely
tell the author is a comic book writer, making the transition to a novel. 5 pumpkins.
You Are Here by Wesley Gibson – I finished this book hoping something
would happen. Nothing did. It wasn’t terrible, just terribly
boring. 2 ½ pumpkins.
The Greatest Albums
You Never Bought – Special Halloween Edition
This
isn’t so much a review of a great album you might have missed as it is a trip
down memory lane. If you were a child in
the 1960’s or early 1970’s, you might remember the long list of Disneyland LP
records which came out. There would be
one for just about every Disney movie, plus minor stories like Puss in Boots..or Chip and Dale going out on a tugboat…there was no end
to the subjects. Most of them I never
listened to, even though we had a lot of them.
There was one, however, which I can still recite nearly by heart, and
which has attained true cult status: The Haunted Mansion. Unlike most of the records Disney released,
which were rehashes of the material from rides or movies, for the LP that
celebrated the Haunted Mansion attraction at Disneyland, they decided to create
an original story. This LP is the result
of those efforts, and the words, music, and sounds from that album are forever
chiseled in my mind. Ron Howard does the
voice of Mike on the album, as he and his girlfriend seek refuge from a heavy
rain in an abandoned (and haunted) house.
If you’ve never heard the album, you’ll probably find it cheesy and
dorky, but if you listen to it as a child, you’ll love the experience of going
back and listening again. I also spent
hours looking at the pages of drawings included with the album: ghosts, that black
raven, coffins, tombstones, skeletons, spider webs, and every element of
spookiness you can imagine. If you’d
like to enjoy the LP again, there’s a site dedicated to it which also allows
you to hear the LP through your web browser.
You can even see the drawings as you listen. As a child the LP seemed like it was an hour
long, but really it’s more like 20 minutes.
If you want to travel back in time 30 or 40 years, check out http://www.doombuggies.com/media_audio2.php
which is the appropirate page at the Doombuggies site. I
haven’t downloaded it yet, but I see an ad there announcing that another Disney
album I used to love, Chilling Thrilling Sounds of the Haunted
House, is available on Itunes!
The Greatest Movies You’ve Never Seen: “Miracle Mile”
At the tail-end of
the “Brat Pack” era, most of the films which starred anyone even peripherally
part of that scene were terrible. The
dramas were trite, the comedies brainless, and the action films worse than B
movies from a 1950’s drive-in. But every
once in a while a film would completely slip through the cracks, either because
of poor marketing, lack of advertising, or a less-than-desirable topic. In the case of “Miracle Mile” it was probably
all three. Anthony Edwards was years
ahead of his fame from “ER”, and was best known from his roles in “Top Gun” and
“Revenge of the Nerds,” while Mare Winningham was a
rather unknown quantity. Put the two of
them as top billing in a film about impending nuclear holocaust, and you’re likely
to be quickly forgotten. But this film
deserves a much better fate.
Edwards
plays Harry, a trombone player travelling with his band. In Los Angeles, he meets Julie Peters (Winningham), and they make a date for that evening. Through a series of innocent mishaps, Harry
misses the date. Awakened in the middle
of the night, he races to the site of their planned rendezvous, an all-night
diner, in case she is still there. Finding
her gone, he calls Julie from a payphone.
When the payphone rings moments later, Harry answers, assuming it’s
Julie. But it isn’t…it is apparently a
wrong number, where a frantic man rambles in panic about a missile launch. According to the man on the phone, the U.S.
has launched its missiles, and the Russian missiles fired in return should hit
in mere hours. The question remains: is
this truth, or fiction? Is it a tragic
mistake, a terrible joke…or is Los Angeles about to vaporize? And either way, can Harry find Julie, make
her believe the danger, and get her out of the city before it’s too late? And before his story – true or false -
spreads throughout the rest of the sleeping city?
Portions
of the script get a bit goofy or silly, but mostly it does a good job of
illustrating the different ways people respond to panic or to a crisis, and the
choices we make about what is most important to us. Above all, the film tries to show that even a
potential tragedy is better shared with the people you care about the
most.
“Miracle
Mile” is currently in print on DVD, and can be purchased for around $10 if you
look for around for it. Or you can
easily get it from Netflix or any other on-line rental service. Check it out and let me know what you think.
Jack McHugh: By the way, I liked your piece on forgiveness in Issue #20...
You might want to watch the movie "Time Limit" with Richard Widmark and Richard Basehart, directed by Karl Malden...it’s about an
officer that becomes a traitor while in a POW camp during the Korean War and his refusal to mitigate his behavior in
anyway after the war...you might find it interesting. I had never seen the before movie (or even
heard of it) and i stumbled on to it on AMC or one of
the Encore channels a couple of months ago....very well done..the cast is very
good with Martin Balsam and a very young Rip
Torn...the movie just flew by, in a good way, as Malden keeps it moving
forward...apparently Richard Widmark
bankrolled the movies but it didn't too too well at
the box office (although I believe the critics liked it) so it’s been kind of
forgotten about...its much more realistic than The
Manchurian Candidate that most movie buffs go gaga over...and I think Time
Limit is a better movie...although I still like The Manchurian Candidate...
[[I’m going to have to look for it on VHS, as it
seems not to be available on DVD, damn it!]]
Robert Lesco: Speaking of Spooky Tooth, didn't they
release an album titled, "You Broke My Heart So I Busted Your Jaw"?
[[Yes they did, a classic
title. And I always liked the cover to
The Last Puff (but not the album particularly).]]
Andy York: Regarding books purchases, I almost always buy
them at a local store, BookPeople.
They provide excellent service, advice, book locating efforts and atmosphere.
Plus, all the events, author readings/signings, etc that they put on make them
a part of the community rather than just a place to get a book at a cheaper
place.
The "extra" cost (actually the retail price) is worth what they give
back to Austin.
[[The only local book stores in my area are chains
like Borders or Barnes and Noble, and I don’t find myself enjoying them
anymore. The smaller friendly stores
seem to have disappeared. Well, aside
from Half Price Books, where we spend far too much time and money.]]
For the Hypothetical, I'll opt for neither.
[[Oh what a cop out…you
disappoint me. Tsk
tsk and tsk.]]
In your looking through the old RW's while scanning
them, I guess I'd better apologize for the torture that puts you through.
Probably gives you nightmares as well.
[[I
have plenty of other things to have nightmares about, don’t worry!]]
Dane Maslen: Just keep reading Dane's Games! The Tiscali
saga runs and runs.
[[Speaking of which, fair audience, if you don’t
read Dane’s Games, why not? Email Dane at dane.maslen “of” dane.me.uk and get
on the mailing list!]]
Philip Murphy: Hope Heather's ankle will
be recovered enough so she can wear those black boots!
[[It’s
still questionable how often we’ll see the sexy boots, but the weather has only
just now started to get cool enough…time will tell!]]
Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Melinda
Holley, Simon Gwilliam, Stephen Agar, need four more
to fill.
Woolworth Diplomacy II-D (Black Press): Signed up:
None. Need five to fill. Rules and map on request, although you can
find them in Eternal Sunshine #21. Sign
up now, or if nobody does, I’ll replace this with a different variant next
issue!
There will be another game of By Popular
Demand when this one ends, although I think I’ll include a Joker this time;
that’s where you get to choose one category to double your score each
turn. I may offer another Gunboat 7x7
soon, so keep your eyes open. If
somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just say the word. If you have game requests please let me know.
Out of the WAY #1
by W. Andrew York
===================================
Commentary
So, you’re
probably wondering where this new bit is coming from. Well, taking on Doug’s
challenge from last issue, I’ve decided to (figuratively) pen another subzine. I do want to make this distinct from the other subzine I write, while complimenting the existing Eternal
Sunshine vibe, so I’ve been spending the month coming up with a new
atmosphere.
Inside you’ll
find some throwbacks to features in Maniac’s Paradise and Rambling
WAY such as “Recipe of the Month” and “Poll Question”. I’ll have a monthly
quote, a “This Month in History” listing (hopefully with additional material)
and a few other things still percolating. And, with Doug’s penchant to write
about his past, I might just join on that bandwagon at some point.
On the games
from, as Doug is focusing on Dip and Dip variants, I’ll start fielding the
non-Dip games. I’ve started the “Facts in Five” as an
everybody plays game - so join in. Almost anything else can be opened just by
asking for a gamestart.
And, as this
is the first shot at this new effort, it is definitely not set in stone. I plan
to tinker with it for the next few issues at least. I fully expect the fonts to
change, the layout to become a bit fancier (or at least more visually exciting)
and to play with the content.
As always,
your feedback, suggestions, LOCs and requests are welcome.
The Month in History
Sources include: The World Almanac
Book of World War II, the current issue of Smithsonian, “X-Men:
Magneto
Testament #2” and World
War I by Shermer.
November 7, 1938 - Ernst vom Rath, a German attache in Paris,
is murdered by Herschel Grynszpan, a Polish Jewish teenager deported from Germany.
November 9/10, 1938 - Kristallnacht in Nazi Germany. Led by the Brownshirts, in an
orchestrated response to the murder, Nazis attack and
destroy Jewish
property, businesses and synagogues throughout the Reich.
November 10, 1938 - Irving Berlin’s “God Bless America” is
first played on Kate
Smith’s radio show.
November 11, 1918 - At 11:11am, the armistice ending World
War One goes into
effect. The losses include over 8 million military dead in a
total of 37 1/2
million casualties. At least 9 million civilians died as a
result of the war, not
including those lost in the influenza pandemic. Germany’s
Second Reich is
replaced with the Weimar Republic and loses their overseas
empire.
Austria-Hungary
is dismembered into a number of successor states. Turkey
loses control of the Middle East, which is divided by
Western leaders at
Versailles into a number of artificial states. Poland is
revived as a country.
Russia’s tsar
is eventually replaced by a Communist government resulting in
the Soviet Union.
November 12, 1939 - The Nazi government levies a one
billion mark fine against
Germany’s
Jews to pay for the damage caused during Kristallnacht.
Recipe of the Month
Recipe Philosophy: Except for baking,
recipes are only suggestions. I rarely precisely measure, eyeballing most
everything. The listed measurements, for the most part, are estimates from the
last time I made the recipe. Feel free to adjust to meet your personal tastes -
and remember, it is easier to add “more” of something
than to compensate when “too much” has been added.
For
ingredients, if you don’t like raw onions, omit them or replace with celery to
retain the crunchiness. If you like food with more spice, add an extra jalapeno
or use habenaros instead. On the other hand, if you
don’t like spicy food, replace the jalapeno with half a bell pepper. Optional
items are used when I’m looking for a variation or making it for individuals
with specific preferences.
Ham or
Egg Salad
by W.
Andrew York
Ingredients:
6-8 Eggs (depending on
size)
or
1/2 lb Ham (fat trimmed, if needed)
4-5 shots Worchester Sauce
1/2 Small Onion,
minced (preferably red)
1-2 tsp Dijon Mustard
1-2 tsp Minced Pickles or Pickle Relish (optional, add in step 2)
Mayonnaise or
Miracle Whip, to smoothness
Tabasco Sauce
(optional, add in step 4)
Garlic Powder
Salt & Pepper
Note(1) - Can add additional vegetables, such as diced
celery, to the recipe.
Note(2) - Use as a sandwich spread or serve in a
lettuce cup.
Steps:
1 - Dice or mince ham or eggs (depending on how chunky it should be).
2 - Add mustard, worchester, onions and, if
desired, minced pickles or pickle relish.
3 - Fold in mayonnaise or Miracle Whip to a smooth consistency.
4 - Add garlic powder, salt, pepper and, if desired, Tabasco sauce to
taste.
Quote: “Dinosaur Wine: Petroleum” from Mother Jones (N/D 08,
page 44). That had me chuckling for some time.
Poll Question
Each month a question will be posed
to the readership. Your thoughts and commentary are solicited for the next
issue. Also, any response to what folks have submitted for
the previous question are very welcome.
For next issue: “To you, what was
the single, most determining, decision/political position/statement from the
losing candidate in the US presidential campaign?”
===================================
Game Section
Facts in Five
Rules: There will be five rounds, the high score at the end of the fifth round will be
the winner. Anyone may join anytime with a starting score matching the lowest
from the previous round. Anyone missing a round will add the lowest score of
that round.
Each round will
consist of five categories and five letters.
Each player submits an entry for each category which has a key word that
starts with each of the letters (twenty-five total entries). Key words are
generally the first word; however articles (the, a, etc) and modifiers (“red”
in red bicycle for “R” in “mode of transportation” or “general” in General Lee
for “G” in “Military Leaders”) are not key words. A word in the category may
not be the key word (“bank” in “Bank of America” for “B” in the category
“Banks”). For names, the last name is the key word except in the case of
commonly used stage names (in a category of female singers, ”Q”
could be “Queen Latifa” and “Cher” for “C”). An entry
may only be used once per round.
One point will be
scored for each entry that unarguably meets the letter and category. An
additional point will be added if anyone else also uses the same valid entry
for the same category. Maximum possible score in a round is 50 with a lowest
possible score of 25, presuming an individual submits a valid entry for each
category and letter in that round.
Round One
Letters: *
(Wildcard) D J S Y
Categories: Living
Musician
Academy
Award Winner
African
City
Living
American Politician
Cigarette
Tradename
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Possible future game openings - Railway Rivals, Empire Builder,
Liftoff!
Suggestions accepted for other games to offer.
===================================
Deadline For The Next Issue of Out of the
WAY:
November 21st, 2008 at 7:00am – See You Then!
Game entries, letters of comment and other material can be sent to:
wandrew88
at gmail.com; or by post to:
W. Andrew York; POB
201117; Austin TX 78720-1117
Diplomacy
“Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, Winter 1903
Seasons
Separated by Player Request
Austria (Kevin
Wilson
- ckevinw1 “of” cox.net): Has Ionian Sea, F Aegean Sea, A Budapest, A Bulgaria,
A
Serbia, A Vienna.
England (Jérémie LeFrançois - jeremie.lefrancois “of”gmail.com): Build A Edinburgh. Has A Edinburgh,
F Baltic
Sea, F North Sea, A Sweden, F Norway, F Norwegian Sea.
France (Alexander
Levinson - al “of” tolkin.nl): Retreats
F Spain(sc) Off the Board. Has A Gascony,
A
Belgium, A Marseilles, F Western Mediterranean, A
Brest.
Germany (Graham Wilson
– grahamaw “of” rogers.com): Has A Holland, A Ruhr.
Italy (Don Williams
– dwilliam “of” fontana.org): Build F
Naples. Has F Naples, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean,
F
Gulf of Lyon, A Burgundy, A Piedmont, F Spain(sc).
Russia (Melinda
Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): F Norway retreat Skagerrak, Remove F Armenia.
Has F Skagerrak, F Gulf of Bothnia, A Rumania, A Berlin, A Sevastopol, A Galicia.
Turkey (Brad Wilson
- bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): Has F Black
Sea, A Constantinople, A Smyrna.
Remember, Press can be written by anyone in the
game, or anyone else for that matter, from any dateline! All readers can free to submit something.
Spring 1904 Deadline is November 25th 2008 at 7:00am
PRESS
Don – Jerry: I can’t get the time zone thing straight in my
head. Consequently, that was me calling
you last week at 2 in the morning.
Munich – Board: I hope you’re all
happy. I warned you about England, and
now you’re going to pay the price. At
least Donnie Baseball has started to look at the map as one piece instead of
just a collection of delicious nearby dots.
I can’t say the same for the rest of you. It’s terrible play like this that makes me
hate playing Diplomacy. I like the game,
but when you get stuck between a bunch of morons who
don’t have the slightest idea how to move from the start into mid-game
strategy, it is beyond irritating. You
all suck.
Rus - Ita: Corset? What makes you think I NEED a corset? As for
'cuffs, I already have leather, feathered, silk lined...
Brad – Kevin: Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Italy to France : Nice gamble. Good luck playing it out. Unless Austria gets crazy .. then you are about to grow
very big, very fast.
Napoleon – Admiral Nelson: Want to trade
some colonies?
Turkey – Italy: How bout dem Phils?
Flapjack – Bwad: These new body sprays like Axe are all the rage with the teenage
generation. Cologne is out of
vogue. Did you hear about the new one
they just came out with, called Umpire?
It’s for foul balls.
Italy to Germany : Huh? Go figure – I should have forecast death and
destruction a turn or two earlier. Good luck with your resurgence, and
thanks very much for the loan of MUN.
Moscow – London: Bite me, Frog.
DE to CA: How zen!
Somewhere
West of the Hobby…Electors of Two Evils - “Wouldn’t
it be nice if people realized there was great need in Darkness,” answered
Webster, “and if not, there soon will be.”
“Perhaps people don’t know that…” said Miss
Kitty, slowly and unsurely.
“My Webby will tell them,” said Edith. Her breasts inhaled in punctuation. Had it been a question mark they would have
swayed.
“S’ym,” said Miss
Kitty, “get me a soap box!”
The blue furred bartender shuffled about
under the bar and came up with a box purported to bring the 99 and ¼ percent
pure soap to market and carried it over to the small group in the center of the
bar. She set it firmly on the floor and
stepped back. Scratch, in his elegant
suit and a fixed gaze upon his eyes stepped forcefully up onto it. He swept the boulder hat from his head and
thrust his chin forward. He spoke:
“My fellow Americans,” he started strongly,
and gazed down upon the crowd of patrons at the Heart of Darkness Saloon, “and
saloon patrons…” The drinking and gambling inside the Heart of Darkness ground
to a slow stop. Bruno at the piano quit
playing, the boys from the Whining Pig spread looked up in the unusual silence,
other patrons looked around in the absence of profane speech, and the dance
hall girls paid attention because everyone had stopped pinching and grabbing
them.
“It’s an honor to address you today, and
through you, the entire community of Darkness.
It’s time, once again, that the American Political mating ritual
commences. I am offering myself up as a
candidate because of the strength of my vision of what America is and how I see
her…”
“You can see America from here,” asked
Gabby, one of the dance hall girls. (The
one in the purple velvet bra who was smarter than she looks)?
“I see America as the fabled land of milk
and honey!” exclaimed
Scratch from his impromptu stanchion of promulgation.
“What about sweet bread and pastries?”
asked a shrill voice from the back of the saloon.
“I am a staunch supporter of both sweet
bread and pastries,” averred Scratch firmly.
“What about Stabberous?”
“Stabberous are a
deep and intricate matter,” stumbled Scratch, “one that we cannot with facile
ease dismiss in this day and age. Yes,
they are indeed the snack of choice amongst our pridefully
gay community, and they totally lack any nutritional value; but how could I,
coming amongst you as a man of choice, determine the validity of your
opinions. Should I be elected I will
convene a super special committee of evaluation to determine the proper course
that this city should take on the “Stabberou Issue”.”
“Ooooh,” said Elana, one of the dance hall girls. (The one who cinched her corset two sizes too
small to emphasize her big…lips) “That
is much better than just a ‘special committee’!”
She cocked her head to one side and closed
one eye, and then squinted to see the speaker.
Anything other than putting on her glasses.
Gabby, who’d been around the block…a few
times, cast a baleful eye on the candidate.
“Are you trying to say that the way you see America is with equal
treatment of women?”
“Most definitely. Too long have we in America harbored the
traditional view that a womans’s rightful place was
barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, or upstairs with her petticoat over her
head and her ankles to the sky.”
“That’s how we met,” blushed Edith.
“I didn’t know you could cook,” said Miss
Kitty.
“What are you talking about? I can’t cook,” replied Edith.
The candidate still in midstream and still
atop his soap box continued, “My staff has compiled initiatives on ideas that I
will present as a White Paper to a consultative committee whereby I will seek
to improve the condition of women…”
Gabby took a forefinger and thumb and pinched at her waist above her petticoat and below
her corset. She mumbled to herself, “what sort of condition does he think I’m in?”
“I call this program,” concluded Scratch, “ Shoes for Screws.”
Gabby looked at Elana,
her head going to one side. “I think I’m
offended, but I’m not sure.”
“What?”
expounded Elana, with
glee, “I love shoes!”
“Wull,” spat out
Cookie from a table near the Bourse, “whut do ya’ think that we should do about risin’
unemployment? Out there, on the Whining
Pig, there just don’t seem to be as many calfs this
year. Just not enough
to do!”
“Well, it’s like this,” said the city
slicker. He jumped down from his soap
box and strode over to the poker table that Cookie was at. The cards and chips were laying
on the table, the hand complete, and Wandering Eye Wilson had just raked in a
large pile of winnings to his side.
Scratch reached out and flipped over the
cards in front of Cookie. “Y’see here, you bet on two
threes and a ten.”
“A shining moment,” nodded Wandering Eye,
with a smile on his face.
“And you,” Scratch reached and flipped the
cards in front of Deadeye, “….had nothing.”
“Hey,” exclaimed Deadeye, grabbing for his
cards.
“So now, Wandering Eye has won $800,” said
Scratch, his eye quickly tallying the pot, as if it were a DipCon tally.
“I don’t want to put on Ayers,” said
Wandering Eye, with a self satisfied grin, “but I am fairly sharp poker
player.” He tilted the brim of his hat
down and stuck one hand into the brocade vest pocket that held his
pocket-watch, in an entirely happy and self-satisfied manner.
“Well, what we do,” said Scratch, reaching
into Wandering Eye’s pile of coins, “is redistribute
your winnings.” He pulled approximately
39% of Wandering Eye’s coins to his side of the table, and started to make
three more piles from there. One for Deadeye Wilson, one for Tried and True Wilson, and one for
Cookie.
“Hey,” said Wandering Eye Wilson, sitting
up abruptly. “What the hell are you
doing?”
“I kinda’ like
this,” commented Deadeye.
“I am providing for the Need in Darkness,”
said Scratch, in his deep and meaningful voice.
“But YOU’RE TAKING MY MONEY,” shouted
Wandering Eye.
“To give to those that don’t have it,”
intoned Scratch.
“They don’t have it because I WON IT FROM
THEM,” exclaimed Wandering Eye.
“I shore could use a new pair of boots,”
said Cookie. He licked his lips, looking
at the pile of coins in front of him that Scratch added to.
“If you elect me, I will reduce the money
taken from you,” replied Scratch, “and I will provide new boots to every
cowpoke, new corsets to every dance hall girl, and I will use money so that you
can all learn to read!”
Deadeye looked sideways to Cookie. “Whut fur would we
want to learn to read?” Cookie took his
gaze away from his new stack of coins long enough to look at Deadeye and shrug
his shoulders.
“You just took more money from us than Miss
Kitty ever took,” said Wandering Eye Wilson.
“Actually, I didn’t take more, because I
was only reverting to formulas used back in the Gold Rush days. You remember, during the Soldiers of
Fortune,” replied Scratch. “The amount I
took from you is actually no increase at all, it is
simply a repeal of the decrease. So the
fact that you are paying more, actually doesn’t mean
anything.”
Wandering Eye picked up his pile of chips
and let them slide through his fingers to clink back down onto the table. Chink*chink*chink. He frowned.
“It certainly feels like less than I had.”
“Well,” replied Scratch, “I’m only taking
it from you because you’re rich.”
“Damn and Jehosephat!” exclaimed Deadeye,
“you’re rich and you hain’t said nuthin’
all these years!”
Cookie’s eyebrows went up in
appraisal. “Idda’
had no idea you was one of them rich slickers.” He suddenly didn’t feel any remorse at all
for the chips that Scratch had slid his way.
“I ain’t rich,”
retorted Wandering Eye, “ya’ seen me everyday out there at
the Whining Pig, roping and branding, in the mud and the grit, same as the both
of ya’s.”
“Ya never even
asked us to one of your hoity-toity swa--rees,” said Tried and True Wilson, “I had no idea that you
were ashamed of us.”
“I AM NOT RICH,” yelled Wandering Eye
Wilson! At which time he became
cognizant of a warm, large globular mass to the immediate left of his good
eye. He used his peripheral vision to
identify a tightly and ill-corseted mass of burgeoning white, smooth, satiny
women-flesh astride his shoulder, the nipples practically poking him in the
ear. A voice, somewhere above his head,
said softly:
“I heard you were rich?”
Wandering Eye, his throat suddenly dried,
swallowed and wet his lips, “you could say I had a some
liquid funds.”
By
Popular Demand
Credit goes to Ryk
Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The
goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most
popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that
match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses
were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian
would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The
cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may
enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest
cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll
receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. And,
if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner.
Round 9 Categories
