February 2011

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: doug of whiningkentpigs.com or diplomacyworld of yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. Also remember to check out http://www.helpfulkitty.com for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise! Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website. Or go to http://www.guysexplained.com where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Quote Of The Month – “I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.” (Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine in the universe to have successfully run a game of Deviant Diplomacy to completion. The other day I started considering offering another, but as I’ve got other projects I should be working on, I haven’t done that yet. But if you’re interested in playing, let me know. A few requests might be enough to push me over the edge!

I’m happy to report that Heather’s heart tests all went fine, and the rapid heartbeat has stopped. It was either stress, or a new joint supplement she’d begun taking (and has since stopped). In a way it is good that she had all these tests, since we now know her heart is in great shape. Cholesterol is still an issue, but her ratio is good. We’re both trying to get healthier so we can spend more years together (although after I irritate Heather for a few minutes she always seems to reconsider that decision).

I actually had to go get some complicated glaucoma tests this week, after my regular eye exam revealed some potential problems. I only went to the initial eye exam because my migraines are getting worse, which I think is partially due to when I wear my glasses (while my contacts are a 2-year-old prescription, my glasses are from 10 years ago…long story). Now I have a new prescription for both, so I believe that will help. Anyway, the glaucoma tests were negative, and I now have photos of my eyes on file so they can determine if there are any major changes as the years go by (I don’t have to follow up with the specialist unless something happens).

Speaking of health, guess who is doing better? John Boardman, publisher of Graustark. In fact, he is doing so well that he’s decided to resume publication! The games that were transferred here will stay here through completion (one of them already ended). Instead, John is starting a new game, and I guess will consider another after that. As he is relying on his daughters for duplication services, there may be a hiccup in turnaround now and then, but he doesn’t think it will be an issue. Gamefee is $35, which includes a sub for the life of the game. You can contract John (or send him a couple of bucks for a sample) at John Boardman, 5820 Genesis Lane Unit 508, Frederick, MD 21703.

As long as I’m writing about zines, here’s another one: Geoff Kemp (in part thanks to Obsidian’s Alex Richardson prodding him) has restarted his Dipzine Quartz. Geoff has openings in Diplomacy, Railway Rivals, and a number of quizzes or mental games (such as Almost By Popular Demand). I sent in plenty of answers from his first issue, and I think the second is due out in early February. You can contract Geoff at Ggeoff510 “of” aol.com to ask for an email sample. I think he’ll have postal copies available also, if necessary.

Finally, there’s Where is My Mind?, better known as WIMM. David Oya had published WIMM for a long time…I used to get postal copies back in the day. But David has found it necessary to stop, and lo and behold, out of the woodwork comes Conrad von Metzke to take over as Lead Editor (the zine has subzines that run most of the games). Conrad has been publishing zines on and off for 45 years now, but this is the first time he’s doing one 100% on the computer I think. Granted, WIMM is mainly a choo-choo zine – there’s no Diplomacy – but it’s still worth getting. And since it is now electronic and free, why wouldn’t you give it a shot? There are openings between the zine and subzines in Breaking Away, King’s Breakfast, and various choo-choo games. Email Conrad for a sample of the latest issue at metzke “of” san.rr.com and see what you think! There is only one Uncle Connie!

You know, with all these zines around, it’s almost enough to make me want to do that new issue of The Zine Register I considered a year or two back. I’m just not sure how much demand for that there would be either…Andy York used to do the game opening service Pontevedria in each issue of Diplomacy World, and as a test he stopped just to see if anyone would notice or ask about its disappearance. Not a peep…so if I put together a Zine Register, would anyone care? Would anyone read it?

If you don’t know what The Zine Register is, you can find out from the next topic I was moving to anyway: my Postal Diplomacy Zine Archive. This is a project I’ve been working on for over a year now, and it isn’t finished. My mission is to scan every zine I can get my hands on, put them in pdf format, and post them to the internet. Most of Larry Peery’s old archives (which went to Tim Haffey, and from there to Edi Birsan who culled them and shipped them box by box to me) are now in my possession, and from that I’ve got over 2,000 zines available for viewing…including old issues of The Zine Register. You can find the archive on the Diplomacy section of my personal website at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/ - I’d be interested in any comments. They’re grouped in alphabetical order, broken down by letter and zine title. I still have many boxes to scan and post, but what I’d really love is if any of you who have collections of older zines would look and see what you might have that I don’t. The rest of you can just look back at the history of the Postal Diplomacy hobby, from Graustark #1 up through the 1990’s (and beyond in some cases). It is still a future plan that once I get some more zines posted, I’ll begin publishing a zine devoted to the Archives, with some articles and maybe reprinted material. And if nobody reads that zine, or cares about it…well, I’m still doing it.

Oh, which reminds me, if anybody has noticed that the Variant Bank website is down, don’t worry. I’m working with Stephen Agar to get it transferred to me (including all the work he’s done with the variants and scanning them), at which point I’ll try to fill in any holes, and add newer variants…that’s a project I sent emails out about a long time ago, but then the Variant Bank reappeared and Stephen found some sudden enthusiasm for things. He even started scanning in some of his collection of UK zines and building his own archive! This time he simply doesn’t have the time, and has more important things to deal with (like family, work, and life).

Hmm, that’s about it for this month. Oh, one thing happened recently which made me feel a bit old, AND made me realize once again that the current generation (unlike mine, I think) seems to purposely avoid anything from before their time. Talking to a 20-year-old friend online, she mentioned something about some woman’s clothes, and I admitted I had no idea who she was talking about. She told me “some supermodel chick, Manson’s ex.” Now, I knew she was referring to Marilyn Manson (who I never really cared for or understood why he was such a big deal), but I pointed out that for my generation when you say Manson, it’s assumed to be a reference to Charles. I was a bit surprised when she said “I don’t know who that is.”

Granted, there isn’t a specific reason she would need to know. The cultural significance of Charles Manson isn’t current, and this is a woman who was embarrassed when she realized a song I’d introduced her to – Mother Nature’s Son – was by The Beatles. “Ugh, I like a Beatles song!” “I don’t like old movies, they’re boring” is another quote from her. The thing I find strange is that when I was her age (and a bit younger), I searched for information to learn about entertainment from the past. I didn’t just listen to the latest Eric Clapton album; I went back and discovered John Mayall, Delany and Bonnie, The Yardbirds (and there found the connection between Clapton and Beck and Page)…I hunted for an import LP of the live Derek and the Dominoes album. I wanted to hear that stuff, learn about it, and treasure the portions that I enjoyed. And it wasn’t just music. Who is this Humphrey Bogart that seems to be such a big deal? What else did this guy Kurt Vonnegut write besides Jailbird? Discovering the best parts of the 50’s and 60’s – sometimes even the 40’s and earlier – was a real adventure. But to so many these days, “before my time” = “automatically sucks.” I’m sure Keith Moon is happy to know (wherever he might be) that to today’s generation, he’s drums on a theme song to a CSI series. But they don’t even know that, because they don’t care. It just seems like so much great art, literature, music, and film has been lost to the ages. Oh well.

Oh, that reminds me, look elsewhere in this issue for the 23 Tunes game, resurrected from Jim Burgess’ pile of unfinished and discarded material. JOIN IN! This is a chance for you to introduce others to music they don’t know about! Meanwhile, take care of yourselves, and I’ll see you in March!

The Month’s Playlist: Live – Fleetwood Mac; The Wall – Pink Floyd; Decca’s The Essential Masterpieces – Franz Liszt; The Definitive Rod Stewart; Lyonesse – Celtic Legend; This is the Moody Blues.

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – The restaurant which serves your favorite ethnic dishes is fined for exploiting immigrant labor. Do you continue to eat there? #2 – A close friend will be interviewed for a job with your employer. He asks you for a list of the questions in advance. Do you supply it?

Geeze folks, a LOT of you are taking the easy way out on these answers lately. The whole point is these are Hypothetical Questions! Saying “I’d never be in that situation” or something like that is irrelevant. The idea is, you ARE, now how do you handle it?

Melinda Holley - #1 - Yes.  It's not as if this is the only ethnic restaurant in town (unless you're talking about West Virginia *g*) or the only meal I ever eat.

#2 - Regretfully, no.  And I don't think a close friend would put me in that position.  If that friend did because he/she is desperate for a job (been in that position more than once), then I would give them guidelines based on the job description and my interview process.  I'd also help them by role playing the interview process to help them feel comfortable answering questions.

Tom Howell - #1 - As often as we go out, whether we continue to patronize the place or no,
won't make much difference in the long run.

#2 - Someone who'd do that wouldn't have made it to close friend.

Rick Desper - #1 - I doubt I would notice if my favorite restaurant was fined for exploiting immigrant labor.  I'd also be surprised if it happened.  I doubt it would change my eating patterns, since I don't really presume innocence of restaurants.  It's hard to eat Italian food in the Northeast while presuming saintliness on the part of the proprietors.  Or Chinese food, for that matter.

#2 - A list of questions?  How odd.  It's hard to imagine this situation applying to any work situation I would be involved in.  I suspect I would have no problem whatsoever with complying with this request.  I would probably put my head together with Andy Marshall and put together a list of ridiculous questions.  Airspeed of an unladen swallow and whatnot.

I guess the second question is supposed to challenge my relative feelings about my loyalty to a friend over my loyalty to an employer.  I cannot see if/when I would be more loyal to an employer. 

But I'm presuming that "list of interview questions" is something different in nature than "math test".  I mean, if a person were interviewing for a job as a mathematics instructor than...no, I still don't see how this could possibly be relevant.  You cannot game a interview in mathematics just by knowing what the questions are. 

Kevin Tighe - #1 - Sure, they paid the fine and I assume they are no longer hiring illegals.  I believe in forgiveness.  And the cucumber soup is to die for!

#2 - Yes, I hand over the questions.  There is a lot more to an interview than knowing the questions.  And my guess is that my friend will not get hired.

Jeremie Lefrancois - #1 – Yes, unless I hear about another restaurant that also serves my favorite dish.

#2 – Yes…but making sure I cannot get into trouble for that  - take it for a 100% yes still.

David McCrumb - #1 - Yes.

#2 - Yes. If they are a close friend I'd try to help them al I could. If I wouldn't help them, how close of a friend are they?

Andy York - #1 - Wondering how I would have heard about the fine, I probably would. They were fined, presumably paid and rectified their "wrong-doing". However, if I somehow knew about repeated violations or if the exploitation was to the point of criminal behavior (slavery, etc), I'd likely look elsewhere.

#2 - Well, unless I was on the hiring board, I'd have no real idea what the questions would be. However, if a friend was interviewing and I was on the hiring board, I would make it known to the person doing the hiring and offer to recuse myself. If that wasn't an issue (such as an internal hire), I would not give them the questions - they have to get the job on their merits.

Robin ap Cynan - #1 - I would assume that the fine might have the effect of curing the criminal activity.  So, on the basis to err is human and to forgive divine, I’d go back.  Contrariwise if the regulatory infarction was bugs, rats or hygiene issues.

#2 - Of course I’d share.  I’d share with anyone who asked. I am all for transparency.  Besides, it isn’t usually the standard answers to standard questions that get people jobs- it’s the asides, the unprompted and the supplementals in my experience when I have been interviewing.

Philip Murphy - #1 - I think not, on balance. I'd have a serious problem with exploitation of any sort. Doesn't matter on what grounds, it's just not right in my book.

#2 - Ooh... depends on how close we were. If he REALLY needed the job I might consider it. Otherwise I'd not do it.

Don Williams - #1 - Yes, I do.  Hopefully the legal action against them will keep it from happening again in the future.

#2 - No, I don’t.  I don’t have friends like this or, if I do, they know me well enough to not even bother to ask.

Heather Taylor - #1 – Yes, but I will feel guilty about it, and if I find another restaurant that serves the same dishes I’ll go there instead.

#2 – No, but I might give him some helpful hints. I think supplying an actual list would be wrong.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises. The word Scruples is also being used as a secret this issue). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – You work for an optical store. Jimmy has broken his glasses and his parents are agonizing over the price of replacements. A competitor is selling identical glasses for half-price. Do you send Jimmy’s parents there? #2 – As a professor, regulations require you to fail a student guilty of plagiarism. A student admits to buying an essay. Do you flunk him?

For the second issue in a row, we never went to the movies. In fact, we barely watched any DVD movies…it was a short month for ES anyway, and we’re working our way through the first season of Millennium. So this section is quite short!

Seen on DVD – The Box (C-, an interesting idea and probably a well-written story turned into a confused unintelligible mess).

The Eternal Sunshine Interview

This month’s interview is with one of my Millburn High School classmates, Toni Wells-Roth. Toni lives out in California and makes her living in Hollywood community. And yes…another beautiful woman who wouldn’t date me.

What is your name:  Toni Wells-Roth

What is your astrological sign: Capricorn

How old are you (exact or approximate): 42

What is your earliest childhood memory: Selling lemonade on the corner in front of my house in Ohio. I think I was about 6 or 7 years old, already an entrepreneur.

Describe your immediate family (present day): Mom and Dad still married after 45 years; brother married three years with two kids…and me, well it’s just me J

What do you do for a living: Independent Producer

Where were you born: New York City

What did you want to be when you were growing up: I don't remember wanting to be anything specific when I was growing up.  It wasn't till sophomore year in college I got the bug to go into the movie and TV business.

Douglas Kent: Describe the process of getting the "bug."  Where did you attend school, and once you realized what direction you wanted to move in, what steps did you take to help realize that dream?

Toni Wells-Roth: The bug was gotten when I took a film criticism class in my sophomore year at college.  I attended GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY in Fairfax VA.  As soon as I realized the film and TV business was what I wanted to do I started learning and reading everything I could.  Eventually after graduation I got a job with a restaurant in DC that I knew had locations in Los Angeles so I could transfer.  I did that about a year after graduation and within a few months of moving to LA landed a coveted job at one of the big three talent agencies in the mail room. 

Douglas Kent: Had anyone in your family or any family friends been in show business?  What did your parents do for a living?

Toni Wells-Roth: No one in my family was or had been in the entertainment business.  My dad was an attorney and my mom was a school teacher who became a political activist.

Douglas Kent: Was acting itself ever a focus, or was production the side of the camera you always saw yourself on?

Toni Wells-Roth: I never was interested in acting, only the making/producing and business sides of Hollywood; how it all happens and how money is made, and how to influence by entertaining.

Douglas Kent: What personal skills of yours do you think have served you best during your time in the industry? 

Toni Wells-Roth: My even keeled demeanor; I don't get mad easily or blow my temper.

Douglas Kent: Everybody has good stories...share one of your favorite Toni anecdotes with us.

Toni Wells-Roth: You never know who is standing in front of you - the garbage man or the CEO - so treat everyone the same.  

Douglas Kent: What sorts of positions have you had during your time in the industry?

Toni Wells-Roth: Everything from assistant to CEO; from running for coffee to calling “action!”

Douglas Kent: Which of your personal accomplishments are you most proud of?

Toni Wells-Roth: I’m still on the quest for the ultimate.

Douglas Kent: What major personal goal of yours in your career do you most want to achieve?

Toni Wells-Roth: To never give up!!!

Douglas Kent: Tell us about your current project.  What is it, how did you become involved, and how has your participation helped it evolve?

Toni Wells-Roth: Currently I am producing a live show similar in genre to Saturday Night Live. I’m the overseer - the one that pulls it all together.

Douglas Kent: Is there a web site for your current show?

Toni Wells-Roth: www.gravitworkstheshow.com

Douglas Kent: Is work your passion?  I know you said it's "just you"...have you never found the right person, or do you think you are happier completely engrossed in what you're doing, so much so that you don't have the time to dedicate to all the work a long-term relationship involves?

Toni Wells-Roth:  Work is what I do and what I love, but like everyone else I want to find someone to share it all with and have a partner in life.

Douglas Kent: How political is the entertainment business on the west coast?  By that I don't mean national politics, but simply political within its own world and sphere of influence?

Toni Wells-Roth: The only politics that seem to creep into Hollywood for real are in the monologues of the late night guys, and the comedy spoofs.  Most of the time it’s kept covert; if you have opinions people are just too scared to piss anyone off in any way shape or form.

Douglas Kent: As a fellow MHS graduate, what two memories stay with you strongest from your time there?

Toni Wells-Roth: Gosh the whole thing is a big blur of uncomfortable and insecure.

Douglas Kent: Is it true that you went to college, and then to California, specifically to avoid dating Douglas Kent?

Toni Wells-Roth: If that’s how you want to play it.

Douglas Kent: In no specific order, can you give us five of your favorite books of all time, and five of your favorite movies?

Toni Wells-Roth: I don't have any real favorite books. l tend to like most that I read. For movies my all time favorite is BLUE VELVET, directed by David Lynch. I don't have a list of favorite movies either.  

Douglas Kent: Are you a Twin Peaks fan (being a fan of Blue Velvet)?

Toni Wells-Roth:  Yes I was a huge fan.

Douglas Kent: Which female character on the show do you most identify with?

Toni Wells-Roth: Gosh I don't think I really identified with any of the characters that closely. I just loved the crazy possibilities of what could be of the whole experience.

Douglas Kent: What's the best CD you bought or heard in 2010?

Toni Wells-Roth:  I think I bought the last KATIE PERRY album. I tend to buy songs rather than full CD's these days; sign of the times.

Douglas Kent: Any New Year's Resolutions?

Toni Wells-Roth:  I try not to make any…I just keep trying to be and do better than before.

Douglas Kent: What's your poison?

Toni Wells-Roth: Sugar.

Douglas Kent: That's it...unless you have any topics you think you'd like to speak on that I haven't asked about!

Toni Wells-Roth:  I hope I gave you enough I am not good at talking or writing about myself. J

In June 2007 (3 ½ years ago), Jim Burgess began running an activity entitled 23 Tunes in The Abyssinian Prince. Within an issue or two the project fell apart, as Jim’s record keeping was shoddy (and his publishing schedule began to slow to the pace of sightings of Haley’s Comet). As usual, I have decided to come to the rescue by restarting 23 Tunes here in Eternal Sunshine. Below are Jim’s original comments and description. I may as well stick with them…except you’ll be sending your songs to me instead of Jim. Join in!

We're running a "23 tunes" contest here (stolen blatantly from Mark Wightman and the late lamented The Sprouts of Wrath. If anyone would like to send me a tape or CD of their 23 (which was the original point) that would be great, but I don't intend to require that. I will be playing in the sense that I'll be putting 23 tunes in, and you have to guess me, but I obviously won't score points. Send commentary with your choices, and we'll see if people can guess who you are!!! And already there is a LOT of diversity in defining tunes and styles, so BE CREATIVE!!!

23 Tunes Game

Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me three tunes for the first turn, and then two tunes in each of the last ten turns for a total of 23. If you missed the first turn, you can still catch up by sending five tunes next issue, and guess on submitters to this issue. Actually, you can send all 23 tunes at once if you want to, but then you’ll need to remember to guess everyone else’s each month. I am also submitting my tunes. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner my 23 Tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I will tell you who the submitters are). For each list you get right, you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections. That's it, not complicated. I hope by starting this up, we'll get more to join.

So, put simply…you send in the name and artist of songs you really like or have special meaning to you. I print 3 of them the first turn, and 2 year turn after that (you can submit that way, or send in all 23 at once, or anything in between). Each issue I list the songs for that turn, without revealing who submitted which song. I also print a list of who submitted songs (again, without telling you which songs they sent in). Your mission is to match the people with the songs. Simple. And I’ll offer other prizes as well, to be determined later.

So send in those songs!

Deadline for Round One of 23 Tunes is February 21^st at 7pm my time.

That’s the day BEFORE the regular zine deadline.

Allison Kent: I LOVE LOVE the Christmas story.  Not only is it well written, but I don't remember the story and it totally cracked me up.  Sitting at my desk right now laughing so hard there are tears rolling down my cheeks!!!

[[I guess you were a little too young for that one. I’ve got to put more Whining Kent Pig stories in here. My work on prison and Mara stories has made me neglect family history more than I should. And since those family stories are the material from which my third (useless, unfinished, and unwanted) book project is being built, I can’t let too many slip through the cracks of my mind.]]

Jim Burgess: The only Movie Quote I could have gotten (where I'd seen the movie and DID know Connelly was in it) was Little Children.  I loved that movie too.  Oh well.  As you said, the keystone was knowing that Labyrinth quote.  Then it was obvious what the link was and what the other quotes were from movies we had seen.  Tighe had seen way more of them than me.

[[Or maybe you’ve just forgotten them…]]

Tom Howell: Tell Jack, "Oooo, nice butt!"

[[He hears that quite a bit, believe me.]]

Rick Desper: The photos of Putin and Obama serve to show that a lot of people don't understand the difference between being the leader of a country and being the strong man in a circus.

[[I never read Jack’s subzine, so I didn’t notice.]]

Kevin Tighe: Enjoyed the last issue, even the interview - interesting person.  Your subzines are kind of an acquired taste.   When you wrote "Texas is an island of sanity", I laughed SO HARD.  Oh you crazy Texans.   I'm glad you think your state is sane.  I'm sure it's perfectly . . .  oh God, I've . . . 've . . . lost it. Ohohohoho.

[[I believe I said “Some people think…”…]]

For the Movie Quotes, the common link is the films are set in San Francisco.    You left out so much, Vertigo, Body Snatchers, After the Thin Man, Bullet, Harold and Maude, Star Trek IV, San Francisco, and Lord of the Rings (the Shire is in a San Francisco neighborhood.)

[[As you’ll see, I didn’t leave out Vertigo. And the list of movies I could have included seems endless, doesn’t it?]]

Andy Lischett: On my movie quotes, no, or yes, #4 is Bonnie & Clyde.   #1 is Zulu, although the wording may not be exact and - as you said - it may fit a number of movies.   #5 is Steelyard Blues, and spoken by the guy playing the mechanic when their airplane would not start.

[[I’m trying to remember rif I have ever SEEN Steelyard Blues.]]

Dane Maslen: I'm now making an effort to catch up with reading those all the back issues of zines that got ignored towards the tail end of last year because of some strange relativistic effect (the speed of passage of
time is proportional to one's age squared, or something like that) that even Einstein never explained.

So, let's start with issue 46...

> Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that is brave enough to allow Richard Walkerdine to say > whatever he wants, whenever he wants

If he ever threatens to get out of control, just remind him that some of us still have copies of the poem "They left the captain out".

[[Oooh, can you send me one? Good bargaining chip.]]

Now let's move on to issue 47...

I'm a bit concerned about my sanity.  I read the publisher's blurb about Brendan's book and found myself thinking "That sounds interesting." Given that I have no interest in Thailand, Laos or Cambodia, that strongly suggests that the teenage train-spotter is still lurking deep inside, just waiting for the opportunity to wear an anorak again.  Very worrying.

[[I thought you were a camel spotter?]]

Rick Desper comments "I guess everybody has forgotten about DOS completely."  Sadly, no, though I do try.  I'm also doing my best to try forgetting about Windows now that my main PC runs Linux, but unfortunately I still have a laptop that keeps reminding me.  I suppose it just proves that it's really difficult to get rid of bad memories.

[[Linux? Who wants to run an operating system names after Lucy’s younger brother? He was always so preachy, and that blanket? His fascination with the Great Pumpkin? Puh-lease!]]

Robin ap Cynan: Nokia phones do not do morse SMS, they do morse SOS as a message alert option.

The best example of cablese that I know is of the journalist who telegraphed Cary Grant:-

“HOW OLD CARY GRANT”

and obtained the response

“OLD CARY GRANT WELL STOP HOW YOU”

Onwards…

There is a fantastic Hemingway quote in his Wikipedia article:-

If a writer of prose knows enough of what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water. A writer who omits things because he does not know them only makes hollow places in his writing.

Martin Burgdorf: A lot of answers for the first category [in By Popular Demand] last time should have been disqualified, because it was asked for a prehistoric and not a geological era.

[[It is true that some answers did not meet the category. However, in my game that is irrelevant. The idea is to guess the answer most people will send in. If I ask for Joan Crawford movies, I bet a lot of people would say Mommy Dearest even though it is ABOUT her rather than a film that she appears in. As a matter of fact, many of those who gave “incorrect” answers specified in comments to me that they gave those because they felt others would, even though they know it did not fit the category.]]

WHICH END IS UP?

by Paul Milewski

In Think Like an Egyptian: 100 Hieroglyphs (ISBN 978-0-452-28701-3), the author, Barry Kemp, in his discussion of the hieroglyph for “boat,” makes the observation that “there is good cause for drawing maps of ancient Egypt with north at the bottom.” [Page 102] He precedes this with the observation that “when the Egyptian army crossed Syria in the 18th Dynasty and came to the Euphrates, they described the river as ‘flowing downstream in an upstream direction.’ To the Egyptians the direction upstream was evidently the natural ‘front’ of the country so that the word for traveling south was really ‘to advance.’ West meant right, east meant left, and the northern marshy part of the country was the ‘rear.’” [Page 101] In his discussion of the hieroglyph for “west,” he observes that “Ancient Egyptians’ overall sense of orientation was similar to ours, except that they positioned their viewpoint as if they were facing toward the south, so that the word for ‘west’ was also that for ‘right hand.’” [Page 81] I saw an obvious parallel to the way I was taught as a child to distinguish north, west, south, and east by standing facing north—east would be at my right, west to my left, and south to my back.

If you look at the Diplomacy map, it clearly follows the convention of having north at the top of the map, east to the right, etc. Drawing a parallel to Kemp’s explanation of the sense of direction of the ancient Egyptians, I can see the usefulness of sitting around the board at the positions designated for the person playing each county (Russia to the right, Germany to the top, England in the upper left, Turkey in the lower right, etc. I am left to wonder why no zine publisher ever alternated the orientation of the map (if one did, I’m not aware of it), just to remind us, to paraphrase Buckminster Fuller, there really is no “up.”

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jack@diplomacyworld.net

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #27

I am VERY excited to report that I have finally found some work. Nothing permanent, mind you, but contract work through at least April 1^st. This is the first job I have had in two years. I can’t begin to tell you how big a deal that is. So wish me luck…they say there will probably be more work for me after then.

So, to celebrate, I thought I would continue to offend people…

Akhmed came to Canada from his homeland , and he was only there a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him

Finally, he went to a doctor from his own country, who said: 'Take dees bucket, go into de odder room, poop in de bucket, pee on de poop, and den put your head down over de bucket and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes.'

Akhmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and with his head in the bucket he breathed in the fumes for ten minutes.

Coming back to the doctor he said, 'It worked. I feel terrific! What was wrong with me?'

The doctor said .... 'You were homesick!

Herb decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance Sandy felt she had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old.

He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much.  However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too. Herb looked Sandy in the eyes and said, 'I too have a problem...my winky is the same size as an infant, and I hope you can deal with that once we are married.'

She said, 'Yes, I will marry you & learn to live with your infant size winky.'

Sandy and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon. Herb whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, and holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.

She said, 'You told me your winky was the size of an infant!'

'Yes, it is .... 6 pounds and 10 ounces, 19 inches long.'

THE MOMS TEST

by Richard Walkerdine

Mom was walking with her four year old daughter through the park. Her little daughter saw something lying on the ground, picked it up, and started to put it in her mouth.

“No!” shouted mom. “Don’t do that. It was on the ground and will be covered in germs. If you put that in your mouth it will make you really ill.”

“Oh, okay,” replied the four year old. Then she looked up at mom. “Gee mom,” she said, “you sure are clever to know stuff like that.”

Mom smiled. “Well,” she said, “all moms have to pass a moms test, so they can be sure they can bring up their kids properly.”

They walked on in silence for another couple of minutes as the young daughter thought about what her mom had said. Then suddenly she leaped in the air and clapped her hands. “Oh mom, I get it!” she shouted.

Mom looked surprised. “What’s that dear?”

Her young daughter looked really pleased. “So if you don’t pass the moms test I guess it means you have to be a dad?”

Mom just smiled and patted her daughter’s head. “Exactly,” she said.

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Don Williams, needs six more to fill. Sign up now!

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Three, need four more to fill. Sign up now!

Cline 9-Man Diplomacy V (Black Press): The most popular of the Cline 9-Man version. Rules and map in ES #47. Signed Up: Graham Wilson, Brad Wilson, Phil Murphy, needs six more. Let’s fill this, people!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: 10 rounds, join any time. You can find it at the end of the zine.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, W 14

A/E/I/T Draw Passes

End Game Report and Statements Will Be Printed Next Issue

EOG Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Constantinople: All hail the peace?!?!

ROME to LONDON: It’s over, Jeremie … buon fatto, ma e’ tutto finito.   Basta adesso, per piacere, che noi possiamo andare avanti con le nostre vite.  Che ne di?

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, F 11

Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” hotmail.com): A Berlin Supports A Silesia – Munich,

A Bohemia Supports A Silesia – Munich, A Munich – Burgundy, A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*),

A Prussia – Silesia, F Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea (*Ordered to Move*), A Rumania Supports A Serbia,

A Serbia Supports A Rumania, A Silesia – Munich, A Tyrolia Supports A Silesia - Munich.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

A Gascony Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc), A London tweedles its thumbs (Hold),

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc) (*Cut*),

F North Africa - Western Mediterranean (*Fails*), F Skagerrak - Baltic Sea (*Fails*),

F St Petersburg(nc) Supports A Finland (*Fails*), F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc).

France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” yahoo.com): F Portugal - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*).

Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): A Kiel Supports A Ruhr, A Marseilles Hold,

A Ruhr Supports A Kiel.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Bulgaria(ec) Supports A Rumania,

F Greece Supports F Bulgaria(ec), F Gulf of Lyon Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean,

F Ionian Sea Supports F Tunis, A Livonia Supports A Moscow - St Petersburg,

A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*), F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea,

F Spain(sc) Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean (*Disbanded*),

F Tunis Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Berlin, Budapest, Munich, Rome, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Venice,

Vienna, Warsaw=10, Even

England: Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, Spain, St Petersburg,

Sweden=9, Build 1

France: Portugal=1, Even

Germany: Belgium, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles=5, Plays 2 Short

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Naples, Sevastopol, Smyrna,

Tunis=9, Even

Now Proposed – Concession to France

W 11/S 12 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Prime Minister (Supreme Commander of the Allied Expeditionary force) to All *sigh* Now I know how the Duke of Wellington felt in the Peninsular Wars... Bloody country. Bloody foreigners. Bloody hills.  Now if I could only find something to get this blood off my jacket... Still, could be worse.

LISBON: Quite nice here it is. Of course it better be.

Aus to P.M.: Why should I hail Philip? Because you issued a self-indulgent 'proclaimation'? You'll have to do much better than that to gain my approbation sir.

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: No activity.

Duke of York: Nothing.

Smaug the Dragon: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 300 Pounds.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns, 500 Francs, 500 Piastres. Buys 775 Pounds and 1329 Marks.

Baron Wuffet: Continues the reverse Muffet strategy, i.e. he's been sitting on his tuffit since he got scared by that spider as it's been a much less unsuccessful strategy than the one he started with.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Crowns, 500 Pounds. Buys 1874 Marks.

VAIONT Enterprises: MIA.

Insider Trading LLC: Sells 500 Pounds.

Bourse Master: Stands pat.

Next Bourse Deadline is February 21st at 7:00pm my time

PRESS

Smaug to All: Enjoy your new-found wealth while you can, Rothschild. See your money BURN.... BURN!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Duke of York to Rothschild: Yes, you're going to win. 

Diplomacy “Just a Taste” 2009C, W 08/S 09

Austria (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): Disbands A Bulgaria.. F Greece Hold

(*Disbanded*).

France (Paraic Reddington - Paraic.Reddington “of” vix-erg.com): Build F Brest, F Marseilles..

F Albania – Greece, F Apulia Supports F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), F Brest Hold, A Burgundy Hold,

A Edinburgh Hold, F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea (*Fails*), F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold,

F North Atlantic Ocean Hold, A Picardy Hold, A Serbia Supports F Albania – Greece, A Trieste Hold,

F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*), F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), A Venice Hold.

Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): Plays 1 short..Fleet Norwegian Sea takes a wormhole

jump to hell (Holds), Fleet Barents Sea -> Vulcan at Warp 5 Sulu (Holds), Army Budapest spends its leave at the

Oktoberfest (Holds), A Bohemia Supports A Silesia – Munich, A Bulgaria – Constantinople,

A Galicia Supports A Bohemia, F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea, A Livonia - St Petersburg, A Moscow – Sevastopol,

A Munich – Kiel, A Rumania – Bulgaria, A Sevastopol – Armenia, A Silesia – Munich, A Ukraine - Rumania.

Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com): Remove F Adriatic Sea..

F Aegean Sea Supports F Greece (*Cut*), A Armenia – Ankara,

F Eastern Mediterranean - Ionian Sea (*Bounce*).

Concession to Germany Fails

F 09 deadline is February 22^nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

F to all - The planets aligned. The conditions were ideal. Each captain could see the masts of his neighbours all the way to the horizon. The ships were countless. You could walk the ocean without getting your feet wet. But where were they going?

G to F: Give the Archduke my regards! By the way, I'm sending some men home on leave. Nothing to worry about, just letting the lads go home and reassure their dear mothers that there won't be anyone rampaging through the motherland, aye? And surely better than standing around doing nothing?

G to T: Circles within Circles. Will Austria take Constantinople, I wonder? Either way, I'd start packing for the inevitable exile. :)

White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, F 07

England (Chuy Cronin – chuykdc_92 “of” hotmail.com): F Denmark Supports F North Sea – Skagerrak,

F Irish Sea - North Atlantic Ocean, F North Sea – Skagerrak, A Norway Hold,

F Norwegian Sea Supports A Norway.

France (Michael Cronin – mfmcronin “of” q.com): A Belgium Supports A Holland,

A Holland Supports A Ruhr, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold, A Picardy – Burgundy, A Piedmont - Tyrolia (*Fails*),

A Ruhr Supports A Picardy - Burgundy.

Germany (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” yahoo.com): No Moves Received! Disbands F Holland..

A Berlin Hold, A Kiel Hold, A Munich Hold.

Italy (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com): No units.

Russia (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” comcast.net): F Barents Sea - Norway (*Bounce*),

A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia, A Livonia - St Petersburg, A Prussia Supports A Silesia, F Rumania Hold,

A Silesia Supports A Bohemia, F Sweden - Norway (*Bounce*), A Tyrolia Supports A Bohemia (*Cut*).

Turkey (Larry Cronin – lcroninmd “of” msn.com): A Bulgaria S Pax Wilson-Cronini (Holds),

F Venice S Pax Wilson-Cronini (Holds), A Syria gets ready to sail the distance (Holds),

F Tyrrhenian Sea S Pax Wilson-Cronini (Holds), F Western Med S Pax Wilson-Cronini (Holds),

F Aegean Sea - Eastern Mediterranean, A Apulia – Rome, F Ionian Sea Holds, F Naples – Apulia,

A Trieste Supports F Venice.

Supply Center Chart

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=5, Even

France: Belgium, Brest, Holland, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=7, Build 1

Germany: Berlin, Kiel, Munich=3, Even

Italy: Tunis=1, Plays 1 Short

Russia: Budapest, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Vienna, Warsaw=8, Even

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Rome, Serbia, Smyrna,

Trieste, Venice=10, Even

Would Chris Babcock (cbabcock “of” asciiking.com) Standby for Germany?

W 07/S08 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Turkey to the world: All sites on Syria! Hold your breath

Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, F 09

Austria: A Trieste - Venice (*Fails*), A Tyrolia Supports A Trieste - Venice (*Fails*),

A Venice - Tuscany (*Bounce*), A Vienna Supports A Tyrolia.

England: F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, F Western Mediterranean Supports F North Africa - Tunis.

France: F Tunis Supports F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea (*Void*).

Germany: A Berlin – Prussia, A Bohemia – Galicia, A Kiel – Munich, A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Fails*),

F North Africa - Tunis (*Fails*), F North Sea Supports F Norway, F Norway Supports F North Sea,

A Piedmont - Tuscany (*Bounce*), A Prussia – Livonia, A Silesia Supports A Bohemia – Galicia,

A Spain - Marseilles (*Fails*), F Sweden - Gulf of Bothnia.

Italy: F Naples Supports A Rome, A Rome Supports F Naples.

Russia: Retreat F Norway - St Petersburg(nc).. A Moscow Supports A Warsaw,

F Norwegian Sea - North Atlantic Ocean, F St Petersburg(nc) Hold, A Warsaw Hold.

Turkey: F Adriatic Sea – Apulia, F Aegean Sea – Greece, A Armenia – Rumania,

F Black Sea Convoys A Armenia – Rumania, F Ionian Sea Supports F Tunis, A Rumania – Ukraine,

F Sevastopol Hold.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Trieste, Venice, Vienna=4, Even

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool=2, Even

France: Tunis=1, Even

Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Brest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, London, Marseilles, Munich, Norway,

Paris, Portugal, Spain, Sweden=14, Build 2

Italy: Naples, Rome=2, Even

Russia: Moscow, St Petersburg, Warsaw=3, Remove 1

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, Smyrna=8, Build 1

W 09/S 10 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

R-T: Are you serious Turkey? Really?

AH to Turk: If I have Tus, Ven, then rome will fall if you attack Nap, to be followed by  your taking Nap with Rome support.

T => A: I try to bring my Fs to Apu and ADR, from where I can support your A Ven xxx.

T => G: Whippings And Apologies

T => R: I agree.

R-World: Kill Germany. Period.

Graustark Game 2002D, F 19

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” planet.eon.net): F Clyde Supports F Norwegian Sea - North

Atlantic Ocean, F London - Irish Sea (*Fails*), F North Sea Convoys A Norway – Yorkshire,

A Norway – Yorkshire, F Norwegian Sea - North Atlantic Ocean.

France (Andy Lischett – andy “of” lischett.com): F Brest – Picardy, A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia,

A Burgundy – Belgium, F Constantinople Hold, F English Channel Convoys A Picardy – Wales,

F Ionian Sea - North Africa (*Fails*), F Irish Sea Supports A Wales – Liverpool,

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F English Channel, A Picardy – Wales, A Serbia Supports A Trieste,

F Smyrna Hold, A Trieste Hold, A Tuscany – Piedmont, A Venice Supports A Trieste, A Wales – Liverpool,

F Western Mediterranean Hold.

Germany (Michael Quirk – michaelpquirk “of” cs.com): A Ankara Hold, A Budapest Supports A Rumania,

F Denmark Supports F Sweden, F Gulf of Bothnia Supports F Sweden,

A Livonia Supports A Moscow - St Petersburg, A Moscow - St Petersburg, A Munich Hold,

A Rumania Supports A Budapest, A Sevastopol – Moscow, F Sweden Supports F Denmark,

A Vienna Supports A Budapest, A Warsaw - Prussia.

Supply Center Chart:

England: Edinburgh, London, Norway=3, Remove 2

France: Belgium, Brest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Liverpool, Marseilles, Naples,

Paris, Portugal, Rome, Serbia, Smyrna, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=17, Build 1

Germany: Ankara, Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Moscow, Munich, Rumania,

Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Vienna, Warsaw=14, Build 2

F/G and E/F/G Draws Fail

W 19/S 20 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

None…you guys suck.

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, F 09

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Albania Supports A Budapest – Serbia,

A Budapest – Serbia, A Galicia - Rumania (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea – Naples,

A Trieste Supports A Budapest - Serbia.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” planet.eon.net): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Fails*),

F English Channel Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Irish Sea Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

F North Atlantic Ocean Supports F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Norway Supports F St Petersburg(nc),

A Paris Supports A Burgundy – Gascony, A Picardy - Brest (*Fails*), F St Petersburg(nc) Supports F Norway.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Portugal Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): F Baltic Sea Hold, A Burgundy - Gascony (*Fails*),

A Munich – Tyrolia, A Ruhr - Burgundy (*Fails*), A Silesia – Bohemia, A Tyrolia - Venice.

Italy (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Gascony Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Cut*),

A Marseilles Supports F Gascony, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Gascony (*Cut*),

F North Africa Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Spain Supports F Gascony,

F Western Mediterranean Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Aegean Sea Supports A Serbia – Greece,

A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia – Greece, A Moscow Supports A Warsaw, A Rumania Hold, A Serbia – Greece,

A Sevastopol – Armenia, A Ukraine Supports A Rumania, A Warsaw Hold.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Naples, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Even

England: Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg=8, Even

France: Portugal=1, Even

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich, Sweden, Venice=7, Build 1

Italy: Marseilles, Rome, Spain, Tunis=4, Remove 2

Russia: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol,

Smyrna, Warsaw=9, Build 1

W 09/S 10 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

AUSTRIA to ROME: Sorry, Jim, but it’s time to put this one to bed …

Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, F 02

Austria: A Budapest Supports A Vienna (*Cut*), A Serbia - Rumania (*Bounce*), F Trieste Hold,

A Vienna Supports A Budapest (*Dislodged*, retreat to Tyrolia or OTB).

England: Retreats A Norway - Finland.. A Finland - St Petersburg, F North Sea - Norway (*Fails*),

F Norwegian Sea Supports F North Sea – Norway, A Wales Hold.

France: F English Channel - Belgium (*Fails*), A Picardy – Paris, A Portugal Hold, F Spain(sc) - Marseilles.

Germany: A Belgium Hold, A Burgundy Hold, F Denmark - North Sea (*Fails*), F Holland Supports A Belgium,

A Ruhr Supports A Belgium.

Italy: A Greece – Albania, F Ionian Sea – Greece, A Tuscany – Piedmont, A Venice - Trieste (*Fails*).

Russia: A Bohemia – Vienna, A Galicia Supports A Bohemia – Vienna, F Norway Supports F Sweden (*Cut*),

A Rumania - Budapest (*Fails*), F Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), F Sweden Supports F Norway.

Turkey: F Aegean Sea - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*), F Ankara – Constantinople, A Bulgaria - Serbia (*Fails*),

A Constantinople - Smyrna.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Serbia, Trieste=3, Even or Remove 1

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, St Petersburg=4, Even

France: Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Build 1

Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=6, Build 1

Italy: Greece, Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 1

Russia: Moscow, Norway, Rumania, Sevastopol, Sweden, Vienna, Warsaw=7, Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Even

A/W 02 and S 03 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

captains log;disaster.
the klingons have destroyed the exelcor and captured one of our m class planets that had a dilithyum mine to fuel our star ships.
whats worse a  a pair of gorn starships have forced the troop transport the fdr off there m class

planet that also had dilithyum. so basically we have a romulan starship in the nuetral zone near new earth and new vulcan while at the same time we are at war with the gorn and the klingons.
we did commision a new star ship[the hood] and a new troop transport [the ronald reagan] to help in our war effort but without a fresh dilytheum supply we may have to dismantle one more ship. we need some allies to survive.
kirk out...

Russia - Turkey: I'm hoping you'll see it's better to go with an R/T than an I/T.

england to france: why can't we be freinds! why can't we be freinds why can't we be freinds! why can't we be freinds....

Germany to France: Woops. Sorry. I'll leave as soon as I complete by Parisian holiday.

England to France: Told you so. Can't trust those Huns.

Russia-Germany: Whom is going to support whom into North Sea in the Spring? I'd rather you support me.

St. Petersburg to Berlin: Hey, keep doing my dirty work for me, sucker, crippling the one power I can't reach (France) while I sweep the board! Dummkopf!!

Russia - England:  Nothing personal, but somebody's gotta go.

Russia - France: Not sure why you passed up Liverpool.

Rome to Vienna: Wake up! Bear on the loose!!

France to England: Sorry about that before. We had best work together.

London-Paris: Chicken! You could have had Lpl and you backed out. Now you're screwed!

London-Berlin: Finish off the guinea fowl. He's one the run already.

England-Italy: Want to pile on? France ain't long for the world so you better grab your piece before its all gone.

Turkey-Russia: Looks like our sweep west is setting up nicely.

Moscow-Munich: Hello there. Thanks for the invitation. Berlin is next.

england to Russia: if norway does'nt move back to st.petes to keep finland out i will laugh my ass off!!!!!!!!!!!

Russia - Germany:  Don't get nervous.  I'm not threatening you.

Turkey to all: For the love of God someone support me into Serbia! My allegiance to the first one who does it!! Bugger it - maybe I'll just team up with Austria.

Russia - Austria:  Nothing personal, but somebody's gotta go.

england to germany: if all you wanted was belgum we can still co-exist

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, Spring 1901

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): A Budapest - Galicia (*Bounce*),

F Trieste – Albania, A Vienna - Trieste.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, A Liverpool – Yorkshire,

F London - North Sea.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Marseilles – Spain,

A Paris - Burgundy.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Denmark, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome – Apulia, A Venice Hold.

Russia (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): A Moscow – Ukraine,

F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw - Galicia (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*),

A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Constantinople.

Fall 1901 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

MOSCOW to BERLIN: Neighbors now, are we? Go fuck off. Delaware sucks!!!

ROME to LONDON: Who the hell are you? Some movie star?

Greece - Ireland:  Not so funny now is it?

Ireland - Portugal:  Quit smiling, you're next.

DipiLeaks:  A memo has been found proving that Bismark decided to march into Paris after a visit there 10 years earlier.  He thought all the waiters were being rude to him.

DipiLeaks: The body of Mary Magdalene lies resting in the basement of Rosalyn Chapel and is only guarded by peasants.

France to Germany: My move to Burgandy is just to keep you out.

DipiLeaks:   The treasure of the Knights Templar and Free Masons can be found in New York City, at Trinity Church, beneath the grave of Kensington Lane.

SEV to CON: Eat me. Eat me. Eat me.

DipiLeaks:  Government documents show that vampires do exist.  Their population has been kept in check by a teenage girl who slays them.  She was last seen in China during the Boxer Rebellion.  Vampires are evil creatures who hunt at night but there are a few who shine or sparkle in sunlight.  Both kinds should be avoided.

MUNICH to AUSTRIA: I feel sorry for you in this mess!!!

Eng - GM:  So are we named after a song or a musical group?  And please tell me it's not the Irish version of Backstreet Boys.

GM – Eng: No it is not the Irish version of the Backstreet Boys. It is a song title, and by the same artist as the prior gamestart in ES (the Gunboat game).

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, Spring 1901

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Martin Burgdorf): A Budapest - Galicia (*Bounce*), A Trieste – Albania, A Vienna - Trieste.

England (Rick Desper): F Edinburgh - North Sea, F Liverpool - North Atlantic Ocean,

F London - English Channel (*Bounce*).

France (Jack McHugh): F Brest - English Channel (*Bounce*), F Marseilles - Gulf of Lyon, A Paris - Burgundy.

Germany (Italy Must Win): A Berlin – Prussia, A Kiel - Baltic Sea (*Fails*), A Munich - Silesia.

Italy (David McCrumb): F Naples - Ionian Sea, F Rome - Tyrrhenian Sea, F Venice - Adriatic Sea.

Russia (Robin ap Cynan): A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Fails*), F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*),

F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw - Galicia (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Tom Howell): F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*), F Constantinople - Bulgaria(sc),

F Smyrna - Aegean Sea.

Fall 1901 Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Philip Murphy to ALL: Well, this should be fascinating to watch *grin*.

13 fleets built!  More evidence of global warming paranoia.

Italy - Austria: If you went to Venice, I'll be pissed!

Italy Must Win to Board: As you all know, I love to play Italy and I love to see Italy win.  My goal will be unerring, to generate an Italy win, I don't care if I'm the one who makes that last fall order and then actually wins or not.  Anyone who wants to join me to increase our odds of succeeding is welcome.

Austria - Italy:  Ha ha!  I went to Venice!

Turkey - Italy: don't mind the fleets, I'm invading Russia!

Turkey - Russia: OK, the Black Sea is a DMZ, right? 

France - Germany: So I guess the Sea Lion is off, eh?

By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Round 6 Categories

1. A former U.S. Vice President.

2. A brand of children’s cereal.

3. A common pet other than a cat or a dog.

4. A horror movie.

5. A Christmas carol.

Selected Comments By Category:

Vice President – Rick Desper “Cheney will likely be the other popular choice.  Quayle?  Doesn't seem likely. Bush or Ford?  But they are also former Presidents.  Mondale is a possibility. But I'll go with Gore.” Andy Lischett “My first reaction was Nixon, my heart says Coolidge, but I think the studio audience will go with Gore.”

Children’s Cereal – Andy Lischett “A brand would be Kellogg's or General Mills, but I think you want a product.” Dane Maslen “Somewhat surprisingly number 2 proved just about impossible to research (the Google search was inundated with hits on pages explaining why American children's breakfast cereals are bad!), so I picked what is apparently your best selling breakfast cereal.” Robin ap Cynan “Has to be Rice Krispies,  although Gerald Samper’s “Mice Krispies” did suggest itself as an alternative…James Hamilton-Paterson’s “Rancid Pansies” opens with an eye-watering set piece of high comic farce that caused [the reviewer] to creep out of bed and seek medication lest [he] wake the entire household with snorts of mirth. After a 50th birthday party which ended in his remote Tuscan eyrie going over a cliff, the eccentric ex-pat Gerald Samper is lodging at Crendlesham Hall, the Suffolk estate of the world famous conductor Max Christ. A self-proclaimed "culinary genius", Samper is invited to provide hors d'oeuvres at a family dinner party. He excels with a variant of "Samper's justly renowned Mice Krispies", which involves delicately hashed mouse meat baked in vol-au-vent cases (so easily becoming vole-au-vent, he quips, with a subtle alteration to the rodent filling)…”

Pet – Dane Maslen “Are budgies a common pet in the US?”  Marc Ellinger “so much below a dog and so far above a cat (at least a fish appears to love you!)”

Horror Movie – Kevin Tighe “I want to say "Bride of Frankenstein", but "Chainsaw" is what all the young hipsters want to watch.)” Philip Murphy “Gore-wise, Psycho is tame compared to the hack and slash that came later but it seemed so much more terrifying than it actually was. Hitchcock was a genius at creating suspense.” Marc Ellinger “The classic Psycho would be a great one also!”

Christmas Carol – Melinda Holley “Almost my favorite Christmas Song is Christmas Eve Sarajevo by Trans Siberian Orchestra.” Robin ap Cynan “Really hard- in UK terms it must be between Away in a Manger, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, Once in Royal David’s City, and O Come all ye Faithful, but I don’t know how much the US canon differs.  But I’m going with Hark the Herald since it always finishes the Nine Lessons and Carols service from St Johns every Christmas Eve, and has a descant to kill for.” Marc Ellinger “I thought about White Christmas, but is that a Christmas Carol or just a Christmas Song?  (if the former, then what is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?)” [[Excrement]]

Congrats to Marc Ellinger and Rick Desper for each scoring 56 points this round. 59 was the highest score possible (getting the most popular, with Joker on Fish).

Round 7 Categories – Deadline is February 22nd at 7:00am my time

1. A despot.

2. Something which frequently stains carpets.

3. Something you add to plain oatmeal.

4. A Coen Brothers film.

5. Something obsolete.

There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes. Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize! Research is not permitted! That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves. The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate quotes. Try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes. I’m doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try! Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common. The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2^nd place gets 2 points, and 3^rd place gets 1 point. In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points). High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated). If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2^nd and maybe even 3^rd place overall too. Quotes may contain more than one person speaking (in other words, part of a scene with more than one character talking). In those instances, quotes will separate the characters speaking. I also plan on making the 10^th round worth double points.

Round Four

#1. Like that man told you in the movies last night: beware of the midgets. They're taking over the world. Foul Play, Correct – RD, JB. Social Network – KT. Freaks – JM.

#2. You shouldn't keep souvenirs of a killing. You shouldn't have been that sentimental. Vertigo The Rock – KT. Kill Bill Vol. 2 – RD. Rear Window – JB. Watchmen – JM.

#3. If you say anything about politics, or the campaign, or what speech you have to give, or anything, I swear to God I'm going to stab you with this fork. Milk, Correct – KT, PR, JM. Bugsy – RD.

#4. The guy had a rap sheet as long as my dick. Jagged Edge, Correct - PR Bad Boys – RD. Dirty Harry – KT. Godfather III – JM.

#5. We don't belong here? On the contrary, Herbert. I belong here completely and utterly. I'm home. Time After Time, Correct – KT, JB. Shutter Island – RD. A Clockwork Orange – JM.

#6. Think of it as a great vacation, except you don't go to it, it comes to you. The Game, Correct – PR. Total Recall – RD, KT, HT. Vacation – JM.

#7. I've been in prison for three years. My dick gets hard if the wind blows. 48 Hours, Correct – RD, PR, JB. Escape From Alcatraz – KT, JM.

#8. I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck. The Maltese Falcon, Correct – RD, KT, JB, JM

#9. Well it hurts, because every time you hoped for something I couldn't deliver, it hurt. It hurt me Mommy. Joy Luck Club, Correct - JB. Psycho – RD. Mommy Dearest – HT.

#10. No, sir, the one who isn't my fiancée doesn't call me Howard, and the one who isn't my wife doesn't call me Howard, because the one who isn't my fiancée is also the one who isn't my wife. What’s Up Doc?, Correct – KT, JB. The Aviator – RD. Private Parts – JM.

Bonus: What do all these films have in common? They all take place in San Francisco (either the entire movie, or most of it), Correct - KT. Detective Films – RD, JB.

Scores For This Round: Jim Burgess [JB] – 6; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 5; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 4; Rick Desper [RD] – 3; Jack McHugh [JM] – 2; Heather Taylor [HT] - 0.

Total Game Points: Jim Burgess – 10; Kevin Tighe – 6; Rick Desper – 4; Paraic Reddington – 4; Jack McHugh – 3.

Round Five

#1. If you're a prince, there's hope for every ape in Africa.

#2. Bank robbing is a federal offense. You got me on kidnapping, armed robbery.

#3. Remember, men: there is nothing wrong with surrendering to overwhelming powers, as long as it is done in a military manner.

#4. Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?

#5. You burp and guys think It’s adorable. You puke and they line up to hold your hair back.

#6. The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.

#7. I've known sheep that could outwit you.

#8. Oh, he's an imbecile, probably from birth. Man's a complete idiot. Pray to God he's an idiot.

#9. I'm ashamed, Big Daddy. That's why I'm a drunk. When I'm drunk, I can stand myself.

#10. All combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four map segments.

Bonus: What do all these films have in common?

Deadline for your answers to Round 5: February 22nd at 7:00am my time

General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:

February 22nd, 2011 at 7:00am my time.

See You Then!