March 2011

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: doug of whiningkentpigs.com or diplomacyworld of yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net. Also remember to check out http://www.helpfulkitty.com for official Toby the Helpful Kitty news, advice column, blog, and links to all his available merchandise! Links to many of the books and DVDs reviewed can be found by clicking on the Amazon Store button in the main menu of the Whining Kent Pigs website. Or go to http://www.guysexplained.com where women can learn all the secrets of how a man’s mind works, and why they act the way they do.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Quote Of The Month – “You know that girl we did last week? The one with the potatoes.” (Patrick in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine in the universe which has the full approval and sanction of the Global Diplomacy Alliance. At least I’m the only zine I know of which has met their qualification standards. Perhaps by now there is more than just this rag, but I haven’t seen their logo anywhere else!

So we’re back, with the 50^th issue. In the old days I might have marked this particular issue with some kind of celebration, but these days the numbers don’t seem to mean anything to me (or almost anyone else). It’s just the issue between #49 and #51.

Still, there is some occasion for celebration. First of all, would you believe that somewhere in this issue you will find the return of Kevin Tighe’s “Humboldt”? This is a subzine which hasn’t seen the light of day in nearly two decades I believe. Yet Kevin has brought it out of hibernation exclusively for Eternal Sunshine readers.

There’s also the first turn of 23 Tunes to examine. Don’t worry if you missed out on the start; instructions on how to join in now are included with the initial turn. There seemed to be a bit of confusion about the songs and the commentary. You don’t HAVE to physically share any music; you just give me the songs and artists. And you can comment on your own songs as well as those listed by others…but the commentary isn’t needed until the following turn. For example, comments on this turn’s songs will be printed next issue, at the same time I reveal who submitted which song.

One reader suggested I follow this up with 23 Movies. Anybody else want to join in if I run that?

In sports items, you can find both the final results of the ES Football Prediction contest, and the instructions for this year’s Baseball Prediction contest. As with 23 Tunes (and all contests in Eternal Sunshine) there are actual prizes for winning. In the old days we could get away with offering subscription credits to our zines, but since this thing is free, that doesn’t do you much good, does it?

At home, things are busy but fine. Made it through the Texas ice storms, and we’re now enjoying the warmer weather (cool one day, warm the next – typical Texas). Heather is volunteering two days a week at the East Lake Pet Orphanage now, helping to get the paperwork and internet presence organized. We’ve both volunteered there for a while on a “show up when you want” basis, socializing the cats (Heather worked with some dogs too). But this is the first time she’s put herself on a fixed schedule. It seems there is a lot of work for her to do before things are running smoothly again. Next issue I’ll give everybody the various web links if you want to follow ELPO’s work.

Anyway, there’s other stuff in this issue, including subzines from Jack McHugh and Richard Walkerdine (who makes special note of how little response he is getting from you lazy jokers). There’s another “You Don’t Know Me” interview, letters, movie reviews…the usual crap. Enjoy it, participate, send feedback, and I’ll see you next month!

The Month’s Playlist: Chopin Complete Piano Music – Idil Beret; Something Like This – Bob Newhart; Greatest Hits – Crosby Stills & Nash; Best of Simon and Garfunkel.

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – You work for an optical store. Jimmy has broken his glasses and his parents are agonizing over the price of replacements. A competitor is selling identical glasses for half-price. Do you send Jimmy’s parents there? #2 – As a professor, regulations require you to fail a student guilty of plagiarism. A student admits to buying an essay. Do you flunk him?

Melinda Holley - #1 - OK, this is a real tough one.  I'd listen to the conversation for a clue on how to proceed.  If they indicate they're not going to buy the glasses today, then I'd get their contact information and contact them away from work and tell them about the competition.  Then I'd meet with the boss to let him know about the competition's pricing and figure out just how much business he's losing by being over-priced.  Now, if the people sound like they're going to buy today, I'd try to gauge their 'agony'.  Is this 'agony' because they honestly can't afford the glasses or because they just don't want to pay that much money?  If it's the former, I'd write down the competition's name on a piece of paper and slip it to them.  If it's the latter, then I'd say nothing.

#2 - I'd tell the student that I have no choice but to flunk him.  But I'd tell him that in order to mitigate the consequences as far as possibly being expelled, he needs to come clean about who he bought the essay from.  A lot would depend on the student's character.  Why did he buy the essay?  Laziness? Personal issues? Problems with the class material?  If this is his first infraction, then expulsion is overkill.  Probably even flunking the class is overkill.  So I'd work with the student to try and cut a deal for him.  If this is a matter of laziness or arrogance, I'd (1) advise him to come clean with the administration and (2) flunk him without another thought.

Eric Brown - #1 - 1) whether or not I referred Jimmy's parents to the cheaper store would depend upon

a) whether it is that they don't wish to spend the cash, or a real hardship is involved (if Mom is gabbing away on the latest iPhone, not so much)

b) my perception as to the consequences for Jimmy, and whether he deserves such consequences

3) the degree to which our store has provided value besides stocking the item (for example, did we identity when others hadn't Jimmy's special optical requirements and solve that problem for them in the past, or did they just walk in the door knowing what they were looking for)

#2 - I would fail the student. A student is paying for the opportunity to earn a credential. I am selling (part of) that credential with my course. I sell a true credential, not an emotional experience (or avoidance of such experience) for the student. Unless the student is a hot chick, of course....

Kidding aside, I would not, however, wish to see the student expelled, nor would I oppose their retaking the class to get the credit the right way.

David McCrumb - #1 - No. It is not my job to make sure my customers get the best price but rather that they get the best deal for what they pay. Number of dollars is not the only factor regarding a deal. If my competitor’s price was a short-term sale I would not be concerned. If they were normally 50% of my standard price I would try to find out why. I would then try to develop a process whereby I became more efficient and could offer a lower price or advertise the additional value that comes with my price.

#2 - YES! Of course, since my spouse makes her living by writing the student would be lucky my options were limited to an 'F'.

Chris Babcock - #1 - I've usually had some discretion on prices in sales jobs that I've had. If price is the issue and I have the authority to do that or can get authority to make an offer, I'll do that. Otherwise, I'm capable of sitting in one place with patient and happy silence until the parents make up their minds one way or the other.

#2 – I'm not in the habit of punishing people for being honest. If it was truly an issue of conscience then I'd destroy the first paper and give him a minimal, but not totally unreasonable, amount of time to complete the assignment.

Kevin Tighe - #1 - I'm a fan of "Miracle on 34th Street" so yes, I send them to the less expensive store.  I'm sure they'll came back in the future when they are better off.  And they'll tell their friends what a great honest guy I am.

#2 - We all know the rules at the beginning of class. He admits his guilt.  I flunk him.

Andy York - #1 - Hopefully the store I worked for has a "match a competitor's price" policy and is up front about it. If not, the question comes down to whether I favor a family "agonizing over the cost" over one that accepts the given price; or, regardless of the "agonizing" do I treat everyone the same (either direct them to the competitor or complete the sale). I'd likely, in all cases, indicate that the price is the price "here" and let them make the decision on whether to shop around or accept the price for it at this store.

#2 - I'll pass on this one as I don't think there is enough information to give a reasoned answer. I'd need to know more about the department, the school's culture and the outcome of previous situations. This is too "black and white" as there are always shades of grey in these situations.

Jeremie Lefrancois - #1 - No, probably not

#2 - Complicated. Depends if the student knew beforehand about the regulations. Depends if the student admitted in public. Perhaps the student could get a delay to get his essay a bit more "personal work".

Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes--I'd try and find a way to lower the price, get him a government program to pay for his glasses--assuming I could not, I would send him to the other store.

#2 - Yes--if I could I'd let him make up with a penalty like losing 20% or a couple of letter grades (I don't think he should get a free make up.) However if school's policy did not allow for such flexibility, I'd flunk him in a NY minute. He or she knew and did it anyway, to quote the great philosopher detective--you do the crime, you do the time.

Richard Walkerdine - #1 - No. I'm there to sell glasses for my employer, not for a competitor.

#2 - Yes. I know the rules and he knows the rules. Tough shit.

Rick Desper - #1 - No, I don't send a customer to a competitor unless my own place of business
doesn't have the item in question. 

#2 - Well, yes, I fail the student.  Well, I should amend this answer a bit.  When I was  a TA at Rutgers, I had occasion to observe students who had copied off each other.  I told them I knew they had copied off each other and failed them for that quiz in particular.  At the very least, I would fail the student in the hypothetical for the essay.  How much further it went would depend on the administration.  At Rutgers, it was notoriously difficult to press any kind of plagiarism charges very far.  And usually the people who were cheating were already close to failing the course anyway.  If I were at a school where the honor code were taken more seriously, then I would do what the honor code required.  I have very low tolerance for academic fraud.

Philip Murphy - #1 - No. Caveat emptor clearly applies. If I'm working in a store, I'm paid to sell at the price set by my employers. It's up to the parents, if they're concerned about price, to shop around and get the best value.

#2 - Yes. No hesitation. I'm training as a teacher right now and if one of my students did that they'd be suspended  by the school authorities. If a student cheats, he/she has to bear the consequences if caught.

Don Williams - #1 - Yes, I do.

#2 - Yes, I flunk the kid.  Not only is he a plagiarist, he’s stupid to tell me, as that makes me a co-plagiarist once I become aware of the crime; in effect, he has no ethics or character and he’s telling me with this admission that he thinks that I don’t either.  Wrong on multiple levels.

Heather Taylor - #1 – Yes, I would just say it really quietly. The kid needs his glasses.

#2 – If by flunk you mean give him a zero for that paper, yes I would flunk him. If you mean flunk him for the entire class, no I would not.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises. The word Scruples is also being used as a secret this issue). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: (This month I made them up myself) #1 – A friend of yours if having financial problems and asks for a small loan, which you can readily afford. But he specifies that you can’t tell him wife because he doesn’t want her to know how bad things are. What do you do? #2 – You’ve seen the inside of your neighbor’s house; it looks like something from Hoarders on television. But the outside is pristine, and there are no odors or any other problems. This is not a neighbor you’ve had much interaction with. Do you call anyone or do anything?

Barney’s Version – Paul Giamatti cannot turn a bad movie into a good one. But he has proven time and time again that he has enough talent to take a decent film and turn it into a terrific one. This isn’t simply due to his ability to act. It is also the adhesive chemistry he demonstrates with the cast around him. I’m sure a portion of this is due to excellent casting, but I give most of the credit to Giamatti himself.

Barney’s Version is a perfect example of what I mean. It’s a film built around Giamatti, with every scene (except one) told from his point of view. As the title says, this is his version…his version of the events of his adult life, the hows and whys behind his business, his three marriages, his relationships, and the murder a detective (Mark Addy) is sure he got away with years ago.

Built mostly in flashback mode, but with the present day story also progressing at the same time, we find a mid-20’s Barney Panofsky in Rome, exporting olive oil to Canada and hanging out with his friends Boogie the aspiring writer (Scott Speedman), Cedric (Clé Bennett), and artist Leo (Thomas Trabacchi). Wanting to “do the right thing,” the somewhat antisocial Barney marries a pregnant Clara (Rachelle Lefevre). This sets off what is to be the first of his failed marriages. It also builds Barney’s dislike for people overall, and through the film his antisocial behavior seems to build as he ages.

Barney eventually returns to Canada and becomes a successful television producer. It is from this location that most of his life takes place, including the alleged murder. Dustin Hoffman does a hilarious but not over-the-top job as Barney’s ex-cop father. In some ways it is reminiscent of his spot-on role in Stranger than Fiction: he pulls a ton of laughs without resorting to overacting or slapstick. His Jewish, heavy-drinking but loving father role helps show that the acorn does not fall far from the tree. Both father and son seem to take pleasure in inappropriate conversation (or at times are simply oblivious that what they’re saying is inappropriate). Small wonder that Heather so often sees great similarity between myself and the roles Giamatti takes on. Barney Panofsky is no exception.

Without going too far into the plot, Barney looks back at his failed second marriage (wife #2 played by Minnie Driver) and then his third marriage (Rosamund Pike giving a tremendous performance). The tagline of the film is “First he got married. Then he got married again. Then he met the love of his life.” You can discern quite a bit from that.

Giamatti won a Golden Globe for his performance, but truly it was Oscar worthy. Do not miss this film. And bring a handkerchief if you get emotional at movies (Heather had mine soaking by the time it was over). I can identify closely with a lot of Barney Panofsky and his life, but even if I couldn’t I would have really enjoyed Barney’s Version.

Seen on DVD – Educating Rita (B-, despite it being dated, and the obvious plotline, it’s still a fun movie). Vampires Suck (C+, typical parody film, Heather seemed to enjoy it more, as she’d seen the movies it was making fun of). The Lovely Bones (C+, almost nothing HAPPENS in this movie). The Ring (B, even though we know everything that is going to happen, it is still a great movie). And Justice for All (B-, there are still plenty of great laughs, but the Al Pacino acting job which years ago I thought was powerful now seems terribly overdone). The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (B, a bit overlong but the European style allows that sort of expansion for whatever reason. Well acted).

The Eternal Sunshine Interview

This month’s interview is with someone who I have been fortunate enough to meet personally though my wife Heather: artist Melia Dawn Newman.

What is your name:  Melia Dawn Newman

What is your astrological sign: Capricorn

How old are you (exact or approximate): under 40

What is your earliest childhood memory: Sitting in the co-pilot seat of my dad's red airplane.

Describe your immediate family (present day): Married to a great guy named James with 2 kids, Chris and Katie.

What do you do for a living: Make purty pictures

Where were you born: Ft. Worth, TX

What did you want to be when you were growing up: I kept alternating between artist, fashion designer and interior designer.  I quickly learned that I really hated to sew and am lousy at organization let alone making a room look nice. 

Douglas Kent: Who would you say have been your biggest artistic influences?

Melia Newman: Brad Foster, Mucha, Laurel Burch, illuminated manuscripts.  And Heather.  I probably would never have gotten back into art if I hadn't been so jealous of her taking a drawing class back when we first met.

Douglas Kent: Have you always had the same style in your work, or has it changed and developed over the years?

Melia Newman: It has changed a lot over the years.  I did cats and fantasy early on, then got interested in illustrating pagan stories in the style of Christian illuminated manuscripts, then took 3 years off of painting
and created small abstract art quilts.  Decided I should take up drawing and painting again when I started spending more time designing embroidery patterns than working on the quilts.  That influenced my cubist period, which evolved into me doing more cats that began to look more like a folk art style than cubism.  And getting back into cats, I just had to start doing silly things like putting butterfly wings and fish tails on them.  That evolved into full blown fantasy illustration.

Douglas Kent: What is the most difficult thing in getting your work recognized and better known? 

Melia Newman: In all honestly it is me being clueless. I have been lucky enough to land some licensing contracts and people approach me sometimes and tell me how they have seen my work before at different places.  But it seems like the successes have been pure accidents and I have no clue how to do it again.  So my method has evolved into doing what I love and crossing my fingers.  It isn't a wildly successful method, but
there seems to be a little bit of progress from year to year.  I get downright giddy when my son tells me he saw someone on the train wearing one of my t-shirts.

My daughter is my most successful market technique so far. She wears one of my t-shirts out, and the moment someone tells her how cute it is, she goes into a full marketing spill and then directs them to my website.  I never coached her, and I honestly don't know where she gets her people skills.

Douglas Kent: To someone who has never seen your artwork, how would you describe it?

Melia Newman: Whimsical, cute fantasy with Art Nouveau influences

Douglas Kent: What has been the most notable use of your work?

Melia Newman: I signed a contract for a book cover, but I don't think it is out yet.  So far would be the stamps.  The company I am contracted with (Queen Kat Designs) has signed some pretty big names and I am tickled to have my work included in their line of stamps

Douglas Kent: Have you experimented with sculpture or other forms of your art?

Melia Newman: Yes, and that went badly.  I suspect I got my C in 3D course just so my teachers would not have to see me again.  I seriously want to try precious metal clay in the future.  I think winged kitties in
silver would be lots of fun.

Douglas Kent: How far along were you in this career before you believed you could make a living at it?

Melia Newman: Actually I got real lucky and had started putting my work out there back when eBay was still fairly young.  Everything had lots of bidders and so sold quickly and for nice prices.  Making money so easily the
first time I put it out there for the public to see really motivated me to use those profits to buy the tent and walls and go into the real world of art festivals thinking this making a living with art was going to be a breeze.  The delusions of the inexperienced lead to all sorts of cliffs to jump off of.

Douglas Kent: What do you think you biggest strength is as an artist?  And your biggest weakness?

Melia Newman: I think it might be one and the same - I follow my muse where ever it might lead.  Sometimes I strike gold.  But often it leaves folks unable to pin me down.  My husband jokes that my muse is a magpie.

Douglas Kent: What would be one of your dream accomplishments which has so far gone unfulfilled? 

Melia Newman: I want to illustrate a children's book.  I love the variety of colors and styles in children's book illustration.  Not one of those look how sweet sort of books I remember from my childhood. But one of those messy noisy books about troublemakers like "No David" or "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" that had my daughter giggling hysterically and my husband unbending enough to get involved and act crazy along with the book.

Douglas Kent: Do you stick to one type of painting - oil, acrylic, etc, or do you dabble with multiple?

Melia Newman: I dabble.  Usually I will focus on one medium for several months and then start playing with another. Right now it is watercolors.

Douglas Kent: If somebody reading this interview wants to get a look at your work, and perhaps buy some, what's the best way to do that?

Melia Newman:   My blog. http://www.bemusedart.com  There is even a gallery page that shows several of my recent works there.

Douglas Kent: How about five of your favorite books? 

Melia Newman: Only 5?  I read a lot.  Right now Carriger's steampunk novels, Harry Potter, Prachett's Going Postal, T. S. Elliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, Girl Genius (does that count as a book?  good story
anyway)

Douglas Kent: Five of your favorite movies?

Melia Newman: Coraline, The Philadelphia Story, Love in the Afternoon, Frida,  Satin Rouge

Douglas Kent: And five CD's (we're all old enough just to call them albums I guess) that seem to be in the top of your play list these days?

Melia Newman: Cary Cooper's Yellow, Eagle's Hell Freezes Over, The Ultimate Ella Fitzgerald, Puppini Sisters' Betcha Bottom Dollar, Dreamsicles' Love Songs for Grown ups.

Douglas Kent: Do you think taking art classes is useful for aspiring artists?

Melia Newman: Depends on the classes.  Those that teach you basic techniques, but are otherwise open ended where you can explore your own interests in a particular medium are great.  Those that teach you to paint a specific picture or a very specific way just seem way too confining to really have any long term gains from them.  Mostly it is just getting your hands dirty and playing with the medium.  I really like Dr. Sketchy events for practicing and getting some of the feedback that make classes so helpful. 

Douglas Kent: How much of an artist's success do you think comes from natural talent? 

Melia Newman: I don't really believe in natural talent.  Maybe in a few cases.  But what looks like talent to most folks has been lots of hard work resulting from a real passion to create.  If you love it, you will do it no matter what, and eventually you will get good at.

Douglas Kent: Any final words?

Melia Newman:   Support the Arts.  Especially now when they are in danger of losing their public funding. Besides you might just see a cool play or discover some interesting music in the process.

I think I have the interview for next issue lined up already. We’ll see! Thanks, Melia, for taking the time to answer all my boring questions!

We're running a "23 tunes" contest here (stolen blatantly from Mark Wightman and the late lamented The Sprouts of Wrath. If anyone would like to send me a tape or CD of their 23 (which was the original point) that would be great, but I don't intend to require that. I will be playing in the sense that I'll be putting 23 tunes in, and you have to guess me, but I obviously won't score points (Heather will be following the same rule as well – participating but not playing). Send commentary with your choices (although the commentary for any songs won’t be printed until the following issue, when the matches are revealed), and we'll see if people can guess who you are!!! And already there is a LOT of diversity in defining tunes and styles, so BE CREATIVE!!!

23 Tunes Game

Here are the rules for 23 TUNES. You send me three tunes for the first turn, and then two tunes in each of the last ten turns for a total of 23. If you missed the first turn, you can still catch up by sending five tunes next issue, and guess on submitters to this issue. Actually, you can send all 23 tunes at once if you want to, but then you’ll need to remember to guess everyone else’s each month. I am also submitting my tunes. After we're done, I'd like to exchange CD's/Tapes for as many of the tunes players as possible, but this is not required. I'll be sending the winner my 23 Tune list. The winner is determined by having you guess each issue who submitted what list (I will tell you who the submitters are). For each list you get right, you get a point, you also can win bonus points from me for really cool tune selections. That's it, not complicated. I hope by starting this up, we'll get more to join.

So, put simply…you send in the name and artist of songs you really like or have special meaning to you. I print 3 of them the first turn, and 2 year turn after that (you can submit that way, or send in all 23 at once, or anything in between). Each issue I list the songs for that turn, without revealing who submitted which song. I also print a list of who submitted songs (again, without telling you which songs they sent in). Your mission is to match the people with the songs. Simple. And I’ll offer other prizes as well, to be determined later. If you miss a turn, make it up my sending enough songs to catch up with the other players (and the overdue songs will simply be revealed immediately).

23 Tunes - Round One

Submitting songs this issue are: Andy Lischett, Andy York, Brendan Whyte, Chris Babcock, David McCrumb,

Douglas Kent, Geoff Kemp, Hank Alme, Heather Taylor, Jack McHugh, Jim Burgess, Kevin Tighe, Marc Ellinger, Mark Firth, Martin Burgdorf, Melinda Holley, Paraic Reddington, Pat Vogelsang, Richard Walkerdine, and Rick Desper.

1. Addicted to Love - Robert Palmer

2. Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing - Amanda Palmer

3. Baguee - Paris Combo

4. Behold - Culture

5. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

6. Breathe - Anna Nalick

7. Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

8. Can't You Hear Me Knocking - The Rolling Stones

9. Cherry, Cherry - Neil Diamond

10. Civilized Man - James Marsters

11. Downtown - Petula Clark

12. Edie (Ciao Baby) - The Cult

13. Embrasse-Moi - Lio

14. Fantasy - Earth, Wind and Fire

15. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen

16. Five Nights of Bleedin - LKJ

17. Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger

18. Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks

19. Go Now - Bessie Banks

20. Golden Slumbers - The Beatles

21. Good Old Boys Like Me - Don Williams

22. Gun Shot a Cry - Eek-A-Mouse

23. Hate Me - Blue October

24. Heartbreaker - Intergalactic Touring Band

25. House of the Rising Sun - The Animals

26. I Know What I Like in Your Wardrobe - Genesis

27. I Scare Myself - Dan Hicks

28. I Want Candy - Bow Wow Wow

29. If I Were a Boy - Reba

30. Incredible Machine - Sugarland

31. It's My Life - Talk Talk

32. Life During Wartime - Talking Heads

33. London Calling - The Clash

34. Long Way Home - Tom Waits

35. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division

36. Low Down and Dirty - Crooked Still

37. Mad World - Michael Andrews/Gary Jules

38. Midnight in Montgomery - Alan Jackson

39. Mr. Tambourine Man - Bob Dylan

40. Nite and Day - Tuxedomoon

41. Penny Lane - The Beatles

42. Rambling Rover - Silly Wizard

43. Shake Me Down - Cage the Elephant

44. Silent Night - Traditional

45. Simple Man - Johnny Van Zandt

46. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This - Eurythmics

47. The Only Living Boy in New York - Simon and Garfunkel

48. Theme from Shaft - Issac Hayes

49. This Love - Maroon 5

50. Twelfth of Never - Johnny Mathis

51. Vienna - Billy Joel

52. Voice So Sweet - Sara Rue

53. We Used to Wait - Arcade Fire

54. What Child is This - Jay Pierce

55. When You Say Nothing at All - Alison Krauss

56. Where the Streets Have No Name - U2

57. White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane

58. Wild Thing - Goodies

59. You Do Something to Me - Bryan Ferry

60. You're Not the Boss of Me - They Might Be Giants

For Round Two: Send in 2 more songs of your own (5 songs if you missed submitting in Round One). Then try to match each song listed here with the person who submitted it (remember there are 3 songs for each player). You can add commentary on your own songs, or any of the other songs; commentary is encouraged!

Deadline for Round Two of 23 Tunes is March 28th at 7pm my time.

That’s the day BEFORE the regular zine deadline.

Howard Bishop: For some reason your emails were getting deleted as Spam, but I've fixed the problem and caught up with ES again. I think I've missed 20 issues or so in the interim.

My own zine The Tangerine Terror staggers on in its slow zombie-like way. Issue #52 out shortly. I must remember to plug Eternal Sunshine in the following issue.

I think Stephen Agar also has scans of many old UK dip zines.

[[Yes, on his UK Zine Archive. He has many more UK zines than I do, and I’ve concentrated on the North American zines for that reason.]]

Eric Brown: Another thought on your map orientation musings, I'm sure you've noticed that the board (at least the old ones) oriented space type faces in the direction of the closest power's "seat". It might be interesting to accompany EOG reports with a map oriented from that viewpoint in a 'zine. Long time ago I developed mapping software for scientific and military applications that included the ability to reorient projections along any frame of reference (and to re-specify the projection at will). An interesting side topic is that most nations use a specific prefered projection for maps of their country. If you think about it, Chile (long north-and-south) has different distorition/equal-area trade-offs to worry about than does, say Nepal (long east-west). If I recall correctly one interesting example, New Zealand is "best' portayed with a Mercator projection, but one projected along an axis aligned with the "angle" of the country (a little east of north) rather than the common north-south. Italy I believe usually does something similar along a west-of-north axis (north is still "up" on the page, I'm talking about effects on the resultant shape). Mercator projections are excellent for smaller areas because they are "conformal" i.e. if two points are at an agnle of 237 degrees using a protractor on the map, then they are at 237 degrees true azimuth using a gyrocompass. The aforementioned countries would use a different axis for their projections in an effort to minimize area distortions within the land area of their borders, pushing such distortions to the "edge" of the map (i.e the Adriatic or South Pacific).

I have no such mapping software skills now, however, so can't help with the implementation of my suggestion.

[[Or I could just do hand-drawn ones like I used to, and like Jim Burgess used to before TAP disappeared…]]

Robert Lesco: I would be absolutely delighted to see a Zine Register from you.  I encourage you to give it some serious consideration and if I can provide some reviews I will do so.

[[It really shouldn’t be THAT big a project, but the question still remains whether more than a handful of people would care in the slightest.]]

Dane Maslen: During the course of about 15 years of running games of By Popular Demand, first in Cut & Thrust and then in Dane's Games, I've had several instances of 'invalid' answers winning.  One of my readers coined the term 'By Popular Misconception' for such instances.  Off the top of my head I can recall the following examples, but there have certainly been others:

* An insect beginning with 's'.  The top answer was 'spider', even though just about everyone who gave that as the answer commented that of course they knew that spiders weren't insects.

* A Russian city beginning with 'k'.  The top answer was 'Kiev'. Again several players commented that they knew full well that Kiev is Ukrainian, not Russian.

I occasionally deliberately choose categories that I think will be prone to being won by a misconception answer.  It can be quite amusing seeing players struggling with their conscience: should they give an answer they know to be incorrect but which they think will be popular or give a correct answer that they suspect will score badly?

Possibly my favourite example of an incorrect answer winning was when I set the category "A cosmonaut beginning with 'D'".  The answer I had in mind was 'Dobrovolski', one of the three cosmonauts who died when their Soyuz depressurised during re-entry after the first mission to the Salyut 1 space station.  The most popular answer was in fact 'Gagarin'!

I occasionally set categories of the form 'X (other than Y)', e.g. 'An Italian city (other than Rome)'.  I've never yet had the excluded answer win, but if enough players chose to ignore the exclusion, then that would be the result.  I merely set the categories.  It's for the players to decide what other players will make of them.

From time to time someone suggests a BPD variant in which the aim would be to pick an unpopular answer.  The problem with such a variant is that the GM would then have to vet the answers for correctness and that could become contentious.

[[I like the By Almost Popular Demand variant Geoff Kemp is running in his zine, where the idea is to get the second most popular answer. I may run that next, or simultaneously.]]

Andy York: For the Hypotheticals, you lament that folks are "taking the easy way out" by saying they'd never be in that position. However, it is a valid viewpoint. For instance, questions about me having "kids" and what I'd do if they did "X". Well, without parenting experience and the knowledge/perspective that would give a person, any response is just an uninformed guess - not how I'd actually react if it actually happened to me.

[[For those questions, I think that’s the idea; make an uninformed guess, based on your personality and hwo you live your life.]]

More of Dane Maslen: It occurs to me that I was perhaps unduly harsh on oats in my BPD orders.  I don't buy milk for my own consumption.  For many years I used soya milk instead, but for the last few years I've switched to something called Oatly.  As you can probably guess from the name, it's made from oats.  Indeed apart from water and a little salt that's all there is in it.  I find it preferable to both soya milk and real milk, so obviously I don't really consider all forms of oats to be awful, merely porridge and muesli.  This undoubtedly stems from a time when I went on some package camping holidays in Iceland.  Breakfast alternated between porridge and muesli.  I came to the conclusion that the only good thing I could say about porridge was that it made muesli taste good.  And likewise the only good thing I could say about muesli was that it made porridge taste good.

You wondered in the latest issue whether there was a call for the Zine Register.  As you know, Dane's Games lists all the electronic zines that I am aware of, but I've no idea whether anyone ever bothers to look at that section or try any of the other zines.  I have noticed that these days there seems to be very little tendency for readers of one zine to 'subscribe' to another, something I find rather surprising given that pretty much all the electronic zines are free.  In recent years two zines that I subscribed to have folded.  Both editors helpfully gave DG a plug in their final issue.  This attracted not a single new subscriber.  It seems that as with the captains of ships the subscribers chose to go down with their zine.

[[I’ve noticed this too. Back in “the day” I subscribed or traded for 50 postal zines or more. These days most players seem to stick to one (or maybe two) zines and leave it at that. Sad really, especially since they’re all FREE electronically! The few postal zines are a different story, but I get many of those as well: Graustark, Damn the Consequences, Cheesecake, Northern Flame, etc.]]

Geoff Kemp: I had a look at the movie lyrics quiz but they all had me stumped, I am not a great movie-goer; it’s been some time since I seen a film all the way through. I enjoy films, don't get me wrong, but struggle for time. My kids know what I am like and at last count have about 120 film dvd's that they have got for me, which I haven’t got to yet. I just wish I knew where the time went. I think the last film I saw at the cinema was 'Marley and Me' and before that 'The day After Tomorrow'. Still not seen any of the Harry Potter Films yet although I can see me getting the boxed set when they are all out and taking a day out to go through the set!

[[Lately we’re being more selective in what we see in the theater. It is simply too expensive and a hassle to go to many, when we can enjoy them as much (or more) at home. Of course, it depends on the film. Horror or certain types of comedy are better experienced in a cinema, I think.]]

Richard Walkerdine: (during an email discussion on the lack of participation) I must say I am well unimpressed with the contributions from your readers (like none at all - do people today not understand the concept of 'having fun'?). It is a shame to see how much the hobby has changed. But I will continue because I have never been someone who gives up. Never, ever, and if people don't like that then (apart from some various swear words) I just use words like pathetic, moronic, and totally without imagination. What a shame. So it goes, the world moves on, and we all lose out.

Actually it's always been a bit rare. I used to get a good response when I did that sort of thing in MAD POLICY but that was probably because many of my readers had become good friends of mine (and yes, that does include Dane). When I used to run the Manorcon convention we would get 200-300 participants (400 when we made it World Dip Con) and maybe 5%-10% would come up to me at the end and say thank you etc. But that was plenty enough to give you sufficient satisfaction to carry on the following year. A zero response however is rather pathetic. But of course it won't stop me - in fact it gives me an opportunity to insult people, which I have always enjoyed!

[[I wish I knew what else to do in order to encourage participation. I offer real prizes. I vary the contests. I try to cast a wide net with the material. But to even get an email with two sentences of comments is rare. Sad…I used to send (and receive) long LOC’s in the postal age, but thinking on it now, those were usually from fellow publishers. Not always, but more frequently.]]

The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest

Time once again for the annual Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest. The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (one per league). Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner. We’re not picking winners for individual playoff games…just the division winners, wild card teams, and who goes to the World Series. Any commentary you want to include with your picks is welcome (and encouraged). And remember, like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there will actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner! In fact, if we get enough entries, I’ll give one to the runner-up too. If you’ve got any questions, just ask me. So send in an entry and join in the fun! All entries will be published next issue, so get them in by the deadline! In case you need reminding (or if you are not a baseball fan and just want to see if you can guess the winners and embarrass these so-called experts), the teams are as follows:

American League East: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays, Baltimore Orioles.

American League Central: Minnesota Twins, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Royals.

American League West: Los Angeles Angels, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, Oakland Athletics.

National League East: Philadelphia Phillies, Florida Marlins, Atlanta Braves, New York Mets, Washington Nationals.

National League Central: St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds, Houston Astros, Pittsburgh Pirates.

National League West: Los Angeles Dodgers, Colorado Rockies, San Francisco Giants, Dan Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks.

Deadline for Picks: March 28^th 2011 at 7pm my time

The Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction Contest

A quick reminder of the rules, before I reveal the results. The contest was simple: you got one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (two per conference). Then you got two points for each team you correctly choose as conference championship (meaning they play in the Super Bowl), and three points for correctly picking the Super Bowl winner. Like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there is actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner! I had hoped to get a larger response – as always – but this is about on par with last year.

Melinda Holley is out winner, predicting 5 out of 8 Division winners, 2 out of 4 Wild Cards, and 1 out of two Conference winners! She chose a DVD of “A Few Good Men” as her prize. Honorable mention goes to second place finisher Rick Desper for being the only person to pick the Packers to win the Super Bowl…or to even put them *IN* the Super Bowl (just as Melinda was the only person to put the Steelers in the Super Bowl). Rick came this -> <- close to winning two years in a row!

You’re not going to believe this . . .

HUMBOLDT #42

This is a subzine put out by Kevin Tighe (sounds like Thai) residing in Big Lake, Minnesota. I’m also at tigheman#yahoo.com, but you’ll never have to send me anything. Last issue appeared in the late ‘80’s in The Prince. I quit because I fell in love, but I’m feeling much better now. I am not on the facebook, or the twitter. Got the cell phone only 2 years ago.

THISISALINESEPARATORBECAUSEINTHEOLDDAYSWHITESPACEWASBADANDCOSTLY

The subzine is named after Alexander von Humboldt (1769-1859), a German scientist, explorer, writer and all around great guy. American geographers, explorers, and map makers idolized him so much that they named countless parts of this country after him. Other sites will have more info on him. I won’t send you there you have to do your own leg work. I attended Humboldt St. University in Humboldt County, CA. I rowed on Humboldt Bay. In the summer, I worked at Nevada’s Humboldt National Forest near the Humboldt River. So when naming a subzine I decided to go with my strengths. After moving to Big Lake, I discovered that when the town first incorporated it was called Humboldt. Weird.

HUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUMBOLDTHUM

Well, It Took Long Enough!

Go to any game store and you will see the merging of names: “Beatles Monopoly”, “Simpson’s Clue”, “Lord of the Rings Risk.” I thought it couldn’t get any crazier, but last week when I visited Barnes & Noble there were these new games. Below is a selection of the games being sold with some highlighted rules.

“Diplomacy Monopoly”

Rule 1: There are no dice.

Rule 2: All markers start on a corner piece. Everyone moves at the same time. You can only move one space at a time.

Rule 15: When a “bump” occurs the property remains empty, but all buildings are destroyed.

Rule 21: Taking “Free Parking” will get a player all the money in the kitty.

“Diplomacy Risk”

Rule 1: There are no dice.

Rule 2: Everyone moves at once, much like a World Diplomacy variant.

Rule 5: Risk cards are still in use, allowing for a mass infusion of armies whenever a player gets 3 of a kind or a small straight.

“Diplomacy Trouble”

Rule 1: There is no die.

Rule 2: For movement players secretly write down a number, then show their numbers. Only players with matching numbers move. If there are no matching numbers no one moves.

Game time: 10 minutes to 8 hours.

“Diplomacy Yahtzee”

Rule 1: There are no dice.

Rule 2: Everyone sits around a table and talks for an hour.

Now I’ve been out of the hobby for 20 years, so if someone else has already done this bit I apologize. But if no one has made this joke then what the hell have you all been doing for the last 20 years?!

IVEJUSTSEENAFACEICANTFORGETTHETIMEORPLACEWHEREWEJUSTMETSHESJUSTTHE

I Know A Place

I have a few videos for you to search out on u-toob or the cloud or ipad land, where ever one looks for fun video stuff. This is risky stuff for me because 5 minute videos are considered “Way old” if they’ve been out for over a week. Okay, here goes:

“Geek and Gamer Girls” by Team Unicorn with Seth Green. A nice parody of Katy Perry’s “California Girls”, but without her atonal yelps (Thank God!). There’s not much eye-candy for female viewers unless you find Seth Green adorable and really, who doesn’t? (Put your hand down McHugh, we know you like him.)

“Game On” by Felicia Day and the Guild players. This song should be played before every convention.

“Hitler and CW schedule change.” It’s a subtitled Hitler movie clip dealing with CW delaying the new

“Supernatural” show to the following week. It’ll make sense even if you don’t follow “Supernatural”.

GIRLFORMEANDIWANTALLTHEWORLDTOSEEWEMETHADITBEENANOTHERDAYIMIGHT

I was trying to keep this to a one pager, but it’s been awhile, folks. Later, Kevin

Space filler NOT by Kevin….

If you haven’t tried to watch an episode of An Idiot Abroad, the latest example of the genius of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant (the masterminds behind The Office…and yes folks, the UK version is 10,000 times better than the watered-down US version, so get over it), I urge you to do so.

In the US you can find it on the Science Channel, Saturday nights. Ricky and Stephen send their “real life Homer Simpson” pal Karl Pilkington around the world to visit the wonders of the world. Of course, they aren’t just looking for Karl’s unique outlook on the world, but also the fun of making him miserable. As Gervais says “There is nothing funnier than Karl in a corner, being poked by a stick. *I* am that stick.”

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jack@diplomacyworld.net

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #28

I am still working, and actually enjoying the job. And the paycheck even if I wish it was bigger. If this keeps up I might even open a game in this subzine again. Until then what you see is what you get. And if you don’t like it, don’t read it ya creeps.

How does this guy wipe himself? Not easily if he’s left-handed. And playing the piano is out.

A Lesson in Cajun Economics

It's a slow day in Mamou, Louisiana .. The sun is beating down, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a traveling Shreveport salesman is driving through town. He stops at the Hotel Cazan and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one in which to spend the night.

As soon as the man walks upstairs, Bosco, the owner, grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to Boudreaux the butcher.

Boudreaux takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to Trosclair the pig farmer.

Trosclair takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill at T-Boy's Farmers Co-op, the local supplier of feed and fuel.

T-Boy at the Farmer's Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, Clarise, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

Clarise rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with Bosco, the hotel owner.

Bosco then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveling salesman will not suspect anything.

At that moment the salesman comes down the stairs, picks up the $100 bill, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything.

No one earned anything.

However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, my friend, is how the United States Government is conducting business today!!!!

THE TOURIST AND THE FISHERMEN

by Richard Walkerdine

A tourist ship arrived at a small fishing village. One of the tourists looked at some of the fish being brought ashore and complimented the fishermen on the quality of the catch. “How long does it take to catch them?” he asked.

“Oh, not very long,” replied one of the fishermen.

“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the tourist.

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient for their needs and those of their families.

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?” asked the tourist.

“We sleep late, do a little fishing, play with our children and take a siesta with our wives. In the evenings we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar and sing a few songs. We have a full life.”

The tourist smiled. “Look, I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer each day. You could then sell the extra fish and, with the revenue, buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“Well, with the extra money the bigger boat will generate you could buy a second one, a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet. Then instead of selling your fish to a middle man you could negotiate directly with the processing plant and maybe even open your own plant. Then you could leave this little village and move to the big city, from where you could direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would all that take?” asked the fishermen.

“Oh, maybe twenty or twenty five years,” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards?” replied the tourist, laughing. “Well my friend that’s where it gets really interesting. When your business gets really big you can start buying and selling stock and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“After that you will be rich enough to retire,” replied the tourist with a smile. “You could move to a little village on the coast where you could sleep late, play with your children, do a little fishing, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and singing with your friends.”

“With all due respect sir,” replied the fishermen, “that’s exactly what we do now. So what’s the point in wasting twenty five years?”

And the moral of the story is:

Know where you want to go in life....you might be there already!

LATE ARRIVALS AT THE ASTRONOMERS BALL

by Richard Walkerdine

The guests seem to be arriving a bit slowly – I wonder if there have been traffic problems? These events are usually so popular. Oh no, wait, I see a bus pulling into the parking area. Yes, here they come. Mr and Mrs ROIDBELT and their daughter ASTER, Mr and Mrs GALAXYFARFARAWAY and their daughter INA, Mr and Mrs Une and their rather useless son Brian (he is the INEPT UNE), Mr and Mrs MOS and their daughter DEE, Mr and Mrs OPIA and their daughter CASSI and Mr and Mrs ITARIUS and their incredibly wise son Keith (most people call him a SAGE). And they are followed by the Phillips family, including their daughter Ann in a really figure-hugging dress (isn’t that a bit TIGHT ANN?) and Mr and Mrs NARECLIPSE and their daughter LOU.

And now another bus is pulling in – that’s more like it. I can see Mr and Mrs DROMEDAGALAXY and their daughter ANN, Mr and Mrs KEYWAY and their son Milford (though his friends just call him MIL), Mr and Mrs ARECLIPSE and their son SOL, Mr and Mrs US and their son PERCY and just behind them are Mr and Mrs ELGEUSE and their daughter Betty (usually just know as BET). The hall is filling up quite quickly now. In fact I need to get a glass of wine (and maybe some of those really nice looking little nibbles – the sausage rolls look tempting) while there is still some available.

Ah, that’s better, I was feeling quite parched (and a bit hungry). But now the guests seem to be flooding in. I can see the CURY twins with their old MA, Mr and Mrs NUS and their daughter Vivienne (usually known as VEE), the Jones and Simmons kids, both with their old MA’S, Mr and Mrs PITER and their son John (who I believe has recently become a JEW), the rather overweight Sally Middleton ( sorry Sally but I really don’t like the look of YOUR ANUS) and, bringing up the rear (sorry again Sally), Mr and Mrs FACENTAURI and their son AL.

And a few more guests are still arriving. I can see Mr and Mrs ASUS and their daughter Peggy (usually just know as PEG), Mr and Mrs MINOR with the twins URSA and LEO, Mr and Mrs MAJOR with their daughter who is also called URSA (now girls, no fighting over names) and finally Mr and Mrs BOREALIS and their beautiful daughter AURORA.

I think all the guests have now arrived although it’s not such a high turnout this month. Yes, the doors are being closed.

(Author’s note. A really pathetic response from you lot this time – that is, nothing at all! I guess the idea of ‘making a contribution’ is no longer understood? I will continue but I think I now prefer to do it on my own for my own personal enjoyment. You lot are simply not worth the bother. (Doug: I am now beginning to understand what a struggle it is these days to get any sort of contribution. You have my sympathy.))

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Don Williams, needs six more to fill. Sign up now!

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Signed up: Five, need two more to fill. Sign up now!

Cline 9-Man Diplomacy V (Black Press): The most popular of the Cline 9-Man version. Rules and map in ES #47. Signed Up: Graham Wilson, Brad Wilson, Phil Murphy, Jack McHugh, needs five more. Let’s fill this, people! I want at least two more players by next issue!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

By Popular Demand: Game currently underway, join any time.

23 Tunes: Game currently underway, join any time.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Quote Quiz: 10 rounds, join any time. You can find it at the end of the zine.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Graham Wilson, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Lance Anderson (Dip only), Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Diplomacy “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” 2008A, End Game

A/E/I/T Draw in Winter 1914

Endgame Comments From Austria – Kevin Wilson

Congratulations to Jeremie for the almost win and to Don for 1) being a loyal, game-long ally; 2) for pointing out the error in my ways and 3) organizing and leading the stop-England alliance.  I feel I almost gave this one to Jeremie.  When my initial ally, Russia , turned on me (nice work there Brad) I turned to Jeremie for help against her.  Jeremie was making sufficient progress that my help probably didn’t truly make a lot of difference for him but it might have helped it go faster.  I tried, hard, to swing Melinda back to my side but I guess Brad was more convincing.  Anyway, Russia finally fell and it appeared England was off to 18 for the win until Don came along and got Brad and me to actually talk, which we hadn’t done that much in the game to that point, and we were able keep Jeremie from getting to 18.  There was a chance he might get there despite what we could do but we were able to get units in place, set up the stalemate and convince Jeremie we wouldn’t let him through.

This was one of the longest games I’ve played in for a while.  During the game I experienced a hurricane, Hurricane Gustav, which knocked out power at our house for 9 days.  I took a new job, did several months of commuting and moved my family 1,000 miles north to Chicago .  And now, just as we wrap it up, I’ve experienced my first true blizzard.  Over night we had 20 inches of snow, 75+ mph winds and white-out conditions.  We have drifts behind the house to 5 or 6 feet and piles around the drive now up to 7 feet. 

And, finally, thanks to Doug for being one of the few remaining folks running a zine and GMing games.  They are truly few and somewhat far between today.

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 11/S 12

Austria (Lance Anderson – lance_anderson “of” hotmail.com): A Berlin Supports A Tyrolia – Munich,

A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Burgundy – Belgium, A Munich – Burgundy,

A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), F Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea (*Ordered to Move*),

A Rumania Supports A Serbia, A Serbia Supports A Rumania, A Silesia Supports A Berlin, A Tyrolia - Munich.

England (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): Build F Liverpool..

A Finland Supports F St Petersburg(nc), A Gascony Supports A Marseilles, F Liverpool - Irish Sea,

A London – Wales, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Spain(sc) – Portugal,

F North Africa Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Disbanded*), F Skagerrak - North Sea, F Spain(sc) – Portugal,

F St Petersburg(nc) Supports A Finland (*Fails*).

France (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 ”of” yahoo.com): F Portugal Supports F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc)

(*Disbanded*).

Germany (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): A Kiel Supports A Ruhr, A Marseilles Hold,

A Ruhr Supports A Kiel.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Bulgaria(ec) Supports A Rumania,

F Greece Supports F Bulgaria(ec), F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc), F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea,

A Livonia Supports A Moscow - St Petersburg, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

F Tunis Supports F Western Mediterranean - North Africa, F Tyrrhenian Sea - Western Mediterranean,

F Western Mediterranean - North Africa.

Concession to France Fails

Fall 1912 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

LISBON: Somebody slipped up.

E to F: Prepare to meet thy doom! Portugal will be mine!

Prime Minister to Kaiser: Is your telegraph out of order again? *sigh* Those damn hyperisolationist revolutionaries!

PM to All: This is what I get for sucking my thumb. Should have sent the Army to Wales - now the fleet is in the wrong place! Phoooey!

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Having a Jacuzzi.

Duke of York: No moves.

Smaug the Dragon: Sells 500 Marks. Buys 602 Piastres.

Rothschild: Sells 456 Crowns, 500 Francs, 500 Marks, and 500 Piastres. Buys 1826 Pounds.

Baron Wuffet: Sells 500 Crowns, 200 Francs, 500 Marks, and 500 Piastres. Buys 1645 Pounds.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Marks. Buys 183 Crowns, 183 Piastres.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 117 Piastres and 500 Pounds. Buys 562 Crowns

Insider Trading LLC: Protests against market manipulation.

Bourse Master: Stands pat.

Next Bourse Deadline is March 28th at 7:00pm my time

PRESS

Baron Wuffet: Let's see if I finally figured this game out.

Duke of York Awaits Meeting Wallis Simpson: Has anyone figured out WHICH Duke of York I am.... ignore the year.

SMAUG to ALL: Greed is good. Unless you're Rothschild, in which case, BURNED! *snorts flames*

Diplomacy “Just a Taste” 2009C, F 09

Austria (William Wood – wxmanwill “of” hotmail.com): No units.

France (Paraic Reddington - Paraic.Reddington “of” vix-erg.com): F Apulia Supports F Tunis - Ionian Sea,

F Brest - English Channel, A Burgundy Hold, A Edinburgh Hold, F Greece Supports F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea,

F Gulf of Lyon - Western Mediterranean, F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold,

F North Atlantic Ocean Hold, A Picardy – Belgium, A Serbia Supports F Greece, A Trieste – Vienna,

F Tunis - Ionian Sea, F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Tunis - Ionian Sea, A Venice - Trieste.

Germany (Philip Murphy trekkypj “of” gmail.com): A Armenia – Ankara, F Baltic Sea – Denmark,

F Barents Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea, A Bohemia – Silesia, A Budapest Supports A Rumania,

A Bulgaria Supports A Constantinople, A Constantinople Supports A Armenia – Ankara,

A Galicia Supports A Budapest, A Kiel – Holland, A Munich Hold, F Norwegian Sea Supports F Barents Sea,

A Rumania Supports A Bulgaria, A Sevastopol – Armenia, A St Petersburg Hold.

Turkey (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com): F Aegean Sea Unordered (*Dislodged*,

can retreat to Smyrna or OTB), A Ankara Unordered (*Dislodged*, can retreat to Smyrna or OTB),

F Eastern Mediterranean Unordered.

A/W 09 and S 10 deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: None=0, OUT!!

France: Belgium, Brest, Edinburgh, Greece, Liverpool, London, Marseilles, Naples, Paris,

Portugal, Rome, Serbia, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna=17, Build 2

Germany: Ankara, Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Moscow,

Munich, Norway, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=16, Build 2

Turkey: Smyrna=1, Remove 1 or Even

PRESS

Kaiser to All: And there arose a new world power - and it was called the European Union. Under Franco-German leadership, we shall restore peace and stability to Europe, isn't that right, Monsieur le President?

Paris – he jerked open the drawer and nervously fumbled inside for the small plastic jar. As he popped the cap off he almost spilled the contents on the floor as his hands were shaking so badly. He slammed back 2 pills and dry swallowed. Damn this war can take its toll on the nerves sometimes. Let me see that map again….

G to F - How many ships can the French sink now;
Before the Turks admit defeat?
The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind;
The answer is found within our win.

White Press Diplomacy “Creepshow” 2009D, W 07/S 08

England (Chuy Cronin – chuykdc_92 “of” hotmail.com): F Denmark Supports A Holland – Kiel,

F Helgoland Bight Supports A Holland – Kiel, F North Atlantic Ocean Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg,

A Norway Hold, F Norwegian Sea Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg.

France (Michael Cronin – mfmcronin “of” q.com): Build F Brest..A Paris – Belgium (No Such Unit),

A Belgium - Ruhr (*Fails*), F Brest Unordered, A Burgundy Supports A Ruhr – Munich, A Holland – Kiel,

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg, A Piedmont Hold, A Ruhr - Munich (*Bounce*).

Germany (Pat Vogelsang – godawgsgo33 “of” yahoo.com): A Berlin Supports A Kiel (*Disbanded*),

A Kiel Supports A Munich (*Disbanded*), A Munich Supports A Kiel (*Cut*).

Italy (Graham Wilson – grahamaw “of” rogers.com): No units.

Russia (Kevin Wilson - ckevinw “of” comcast.net): F Barents Sea - Norway (*Fails*),

A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich, A Prussia – Berlin, F Rumania Hold,

A Silesia Supports A Prussia – Berlin, A St Petersburg – Finland, F Sweden Hold, A Tyrolia - Munich (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Larry Cronin – lcroninmd “of” msn.com): A Bulgaria watches in wonder as the longest ever convoy

is attempted (Holds), F Venice watches in wonder as the longest ever convoy is attempted (Holds), A Rome

watches in wonder as the longest ever convoy is attempted (Holds), F Apulia watches in wonder as the longest

ever convoy is attempted (Holds), F Eastern Mediterranean Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg,

F Ionian Sea Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg, A Syria - St Petersburg (*Fails*), A Trieste Supports F Venice,

F Tyrrhenian Sea Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg, F Western Mediterranean Convoys A Syria - St Petersburg.

Fall 1908 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Germany: the kaiser awakens from his hibernation to find that his naval forces in holland have disappeared into the coffee shops. The Kaiser looks to join them shortly.

Black Press Gunboat, “Maple Sugar,” 2009Crb32, W 09/S 10

Austria: A Trieste – Budapest, A Tyrolia - Munich (*Bounce*), A Venice - Piedmont (*Bounce*),

A Vienna Supports A Rumania - Galicia.

England: F Norwegian Sea Hold, F Western Mediterranean Hold.

France: F Tunis Supports F Ionian Sea.

Germany: Build A Berlin, A Kiel.. A Berlin – Prussia, A Galicia Hold (*Dislodged*, retreat to Warsaw or OTB),

F Gulf of Bothnia Supports A Livonia - St Petersburg, A Kiel - Munich (*Bounce*), A Livonia - St Petersburg,

A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Bounce*), A Munich – Bohemia, F North Africa - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F North Sea Hold,

F Norway Supports A Livonia - St Petersburg, A Piedmont – Tuscany, A Prussia – Livonia,

A Silesia Supports A Galicia, A Spain - North Africa (*Fails*).

Italy: F Naples Supports A Rome, A Rome Supports F Naples.

Russia: Remove A Warsaw.. A Moscow Supports F St Petersburg(nc), F North Atlantic Ocean – Liverpool,

F St Petersburg(nc) Supports A Moscow (*Dislodged*, retreat to Barents Sea or OTB).

Turkey: Build A Constantinople.. F Apulia Supports A Venice (*Ordered to Move*),

F Black Sea Convoys A Constantinople – Rumania, A Constantinople – Rumania, F Greece – Albania,

F Ionian Sea Supports F Tunis, A Rumania – Galicia, F Sevastopol Hold, A Ukraine Supports A Rumania - Galicia.

Fall1910 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

A-T: Bet you wish Ser was still my SC that exta Army would be handy about now!  In fall I will either cut Rome or look for support into same! I will attempt entry into Boh if safe to do so! Hope you attacked Gal from Rum!

Graustark Game 2002D, W 19/S 20

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” planet.eon.net): Remove F Clyde, F North Atlantic Ocean..

F London - Wales (*Fails*), F North Sea - English Channel (*Bounce*), A Yorkshire Supports F London - Wales.

France (Andy Lischett – andy “of” lischett.com): Build A Paris.. A Belgium Hold,

A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia, F Constantinople Hold, F English Channel – London (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea Hold,

F Irish Sea Supports A Wales, A Liverpool Hold, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - English Channel (*Bounce*), A Paris Hold,

F Picardy Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - English Channel (*Fails*), A Piedmont Hold,

A Serbia Supports A Bulgaria, F Smyrna Hold, A Trieste Supports A Serbia, A Venice Supports A Trieste,

A Wales Supports A Liverpool (*Cut*), F Western Mediterranean Hold.

Germany (Michael Quirk – michaelpquirk “of” cs.com): Build A Berlin, F Kiel.. A Ankara Hold,

A Berlin – Kiel, A Budapest Supports A Rumania, F Denmark Supports F Kiel - Helgoland Bight,

F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea, F Kiel - Helgoland Bight, A Livonia – Prussia, A Moscow – Warsaw,

A Munich Supports A Berlin – Kiel, A Prussia – Berlin, A Rumania Supports A Budapest,

A St Petersburg – Norway, F Sweden Supports A St Petersburg – Norway, A Vienna Supports A Budapest.

Now Proposed – F/G Draw. Please Vote!!

Fall 1920 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

None…you guys suck.

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, Winter 09

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Has A Albania, A Galicia, F Naples, A Serbia, A Trieste.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” planet.eon.net): Has F Brest, F English Channel, F Irish Sea,

F North Atlantic Ocean, F Norway, A Paris, A Picardy, F St Petersburg(nc).

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Has F Portugal.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): Build A Munich..Has F Baltic Sea, A Bohemia,

A Burgundy, A Munich, A Ruhr, A Tyrolia, A Venice.

Italy (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Remove A Spain, A Marseilles..Has F Gascony,

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F North Africa, F Western Mediterranean.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): Build F Sevastopol..Has F Aegean Sea, A Armenia, A Bulgaria,

A Greece, A Moscow, A Rumania, F Sevastopol, A Ukraine, A Warsaw.

Spring 1910 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

(ROME to AUSTRIA): I'm sure I'm going to bed, but I think I'm going to bed without my supper.....

Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, W 02/S 03

Austria: Disband A Vienna.. A Budapest - Rumania (*Disbanded*), A Serbia Supports A Budapest – Rumania,

F Trieste - Venice (*Fails*).

England: F North Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Cut*), F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Fails*),

A St Petersburg Supports F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Cut*), A Wales Hold.

France: Build A Brest.. A Brest – Picardy, F English Channel Supports F North Sea, F Marseilles wants love and

peace with Italy (Holds), A Paris Supports A Brest – Picardy, A Portugal - Spain.

Germany: Build F Kiel.. A Belgium Hold, A Burgundy Hold, F Denmark Supports F Holland - North Sea,

F Holland - North Sea (*Fails*), F Kiel - Helgoland Bight, A Ruhr Supports A Belgium.

Italy: Build F Rome.. A Albania Supports F Greece, F Greece Supports A Albania,

A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), F Rome Unordered, A Venice - Trieste (*Fails*).

Russia: Build A Moscow.. A Galicia – Budapest, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

F Norway Supports A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Cut*), A Rumania Supports A Galicia – Budapest,

F Sevastopol Supports A Rumania, F Sweden – Skagerrak, A Vienna Supports A Galicia - Budapest.

Turkey: F Aegean Sea - Ionian Sea, A Bulgaria Supports A Serbia - Rumania (*Void*),

F Constantinople - Aegean Sea, A Smyrna - Constantinople.

Fall 1903 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

Paris-London: We better be buds. Any chance that A Wal could come to France on my fleet next time?

Star Trek Press;captains log unknown.
we finaly got some good news to report.
captain sulu survived the destruction of the exelsor and we now have a shot at building another one.
the romulans did not attack like i thought they would and they even answerd my request for peace between us with a peace offering of there own.
on top of that the troop transport fdr got behind gorn lines and took one of there 4 home worlds.
we cant hold it but it does have dylitheim crystals that we can use for the moment.
our war with the gorn can best be described as a quagmyer.
the question now is what will the klingons do now that they have taken a number of m-class planets themselves. all we can do is fight to survive as long as possible

England to Germany: i am behind russia lines. if you attack russia he will fall quikly.

France-Russia: because of you, that's why.

Rus - Eng:  Let's see.  I build 1 and you stay even.  I think I can stand the laughter.

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, Fall 1901

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): F Albania – Trieste, A Budapest – Rumania,

A Trieste - Serbia.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): F North Sea - Holland (*Bounce*),

F Norwegian Sea – Norway, A Yorkshire Hold.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): A Burgundy - Belgium (*Bounce*),

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc), A Spain - Portugal.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): F Denmark Hold, A Kiel - Holland (*Bounce*),

A Ruhr - Belgium (*Bounce*).

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): A Apulia – Tunis, F Ionian Sea Convoys A Apulia – Tunis,

A Venice Hold.

Russia (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden,

F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*), A Ukraine - Rumania (*Fails*), A Warsaw - Galicia.

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*),

A Bulgaria Supports A Budapest – Rumania, A Constantinople Supports A Bulgaria.

Winter 01/Spring 02 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Rumania, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Build 2

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Build 1

France: Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Kiel, Munich=4, Build 1

Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=4, Build 1

Russia: Moscow, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=5, Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Build 1

Unowned: Belgium, Greece, Holland.

PRESS

Eng - Ger:  You picked a great time to move to New England.  At least now you can say, "This isn't bad, I was here for the the '10 winter snows."

Ger - Rus:  U of D!  U of D!  By the way, how did the Eagles do in the playoffs *evil cackle*.  Oh wait!  They're out & the Steelers are going to the SuperBowl!

England to Germany: Last man to Belgium is a rotten egg.

Con to Italy: Keep that fleet going west.

Eng - GM:  I thought computer Dip meant I'd be getting 2-3 emails a day from the players.  This is just like postal Dip only I'm not watching for the mailman.

GM – Eng: If you’re getting emails at all, you’re doing better than I do!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, Fall 1901

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Jack McHugh): A Albania - Greece (*Bounce*), A Budapest – Serbia, A Trieste - Venice.

England (David McCrumb): F London - North Sea, F North Atlantic Ocean - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*),

F North Sea - Norway.

France (Paraic Reddington): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean (*Bounce*), A Burgundy – Munich,

F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc).

Germany (Italy Must Win): A Kiel – Denmark, A Prussia Supports A Silesia – Warsaw,

A Silesia - Warsaw (*Fails*).

Italy (Phil Murphy): F Adriatic Sea – Trieste, F Ionian Sea - Greece (*Bounce*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Tunis.

Russia (Rick Desper): F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden, A Moscow Supports A Warsaw, F Sevastopol – Rumania,

A Warsaw Hold.

Turkey (Brad Wilson): F Aegean Sea – Greece, F Ankara – Constantinople,

F Bulgaria(sc) Supports F Aegean Sea - Greece.

W 01/S02 Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Serbia, Venice, Vienna=4, Build 1

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Build 1

France: Brest, Marseilles, Munich, Paris, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Kiel=3, Even

Italy: Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis=4, Build 1

Russia: Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=6, Build 2

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Smyrna=5, Build 2

Unowned: Belgium, Holland, Portugal=3

PRESS

Turkey -> Russia: I'm just going to build a ton of fleets and try to invade Italy.  Don't mind me.

Anon: There's really no purpose in planning, is there? 

Turkey -> Italy:  Don't mind these fleets here.  They're not going to try to invade.  That would be impossible!

paris: time for lunch, not war.

Germany -> Italy: Thanks for crippling me.

Italy Must Win to Italy Must Win: Am I "Italy Must Win"?  Must Italy Win?  I'm so confused....

France -> board: let's all try to beat up Italy.

By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Round 7 Categories

1. A despot.

2. Something which frequently stains carpets.

3. Something you add to plain oatmeal.

4. A Coen Brothers film.

5. Something obsolete.

Congrats to Andy York for getting the high score of 44. The highest possible score was 49.

Selected Comments By Category:

Despot – Brendan Whyte “Home Despot... oh you Americans don't pronounce the s do you?” Kevin Wilson “I guess if I were a tea partier, I’d say President Obama but I’m not so I won’t.” Dane Maslen “Number 1 presents a common problem for many categories: will people go for a current example or a famous former example?  I've gambled on the latter.”

Carpet Stains – Kevin Wilson “Cat puke.  We have one that seams to never be able to throw up on a wood or tile floor, but must find carpet.” Dane Maslen “I was going to go for 'red wine' for 2, but then decided that people probably spill coffee more frequently than red wine.” Marc Ellinger “So many options…if anyone has a puppy then could be a worse answer.” Pat Vogelsang “It’s mostly beer in my apartment, but I don’t think that’s what everyone else is thinkin here.”

Oatmeal – Dane Maslen “For number 3, just about anything to make it taste better.  Shit would probably do.  It surely couldn't be any worse than adding milk to turn oatmeal into porridge or fruit and nuts to turn it into muesli.”

Coen Brothers – Kevin Tighe “I was standing in a long bank line listening to a couple talk about Fargo and one asked, "And who has a wood chipper in their backyard?"  Three people in line raised their hands.  I so enjoy Minnesota!” Marc Ellinger “True Grit is perhaps too recent?” Rick Desper “Damn, there are too many.  I'll go with True Grit since it's out right now.” Pat Vogelsang “The Big Lebowski is my favorite film of all time. Hope people are thinkin along the same lines.”

Obsolete – Brendan Whyte “E-zines? American hegemony? the thing that sliced bread replaced?” Kevin Wilson “My computer. I really need to upgrade.” Dane Maslen “Of the various things that have become obsolete in my lifetime, I think typewriters must be the most commonplace.  Or have I overlooked something even more obvious?” Kevin Tighe “It's between an 8-track and high button shoes.” Andy York “Doug Kent?”

Round 8 Categories – Deadline is March 29th at 7:00am my time

1. A type of wine other than Merlot.

2. A nation where Spanish is the primary language.

3. A human organ.

4. Something people collect.

5. Any cable television network.

There are ten rounds of movie quotes, and each round consists of ten quotes. Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize! Research is not permitted! That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the quotes themselves. The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate quotes. Try to avoid the temptation to Google the quotes. I’m doing many of the quotes from memory anyway, so you won’t necessarily be able to find them by direct search…so don’t try! Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common. The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2^nd place gets 2 points, and 3^rd place gets 1 point. In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points). High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated). If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2^nd and maybe even 3^rd place overall too. Quotes may contain more than one person speaking (in other words, part of a scene with more than one character talking). In those instances, quotes will separate the characters speaking. I also plan on making the 10^th round worth double points.

Round Five

#1. If you're a prince, there's hope for every ape in Africa. The Lion in Winter, Correct - JB. The Lion King – PR. Coming to America – JM, KT. Laurence of Arabia – RD.

#2. Bank robbing is a federal offense. You got me on kidnapping, armed robbery. Dog Day Afternoon, Correct – PR, JB. 48 Hours – JM. True Grit – RD.

#3. Remember, men: there is nothing wrong with surrendering to overwhelming powers, as long as it is done in a military manner. The Mouse That Roared, Correct – JM, JB. Saving Private Ryan – PR. Bridge on the River Kwai – RD, KT.

#4. Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder? Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Correct - JB. Goodfellas – RD.

#5. You burp and guys think it’s adorable. You puke and they line up to hold your hair back. The Truth About Cats and Dogs, Correct – JM, HT. The Breakfast Club – RD. When Harry Met Sally – KT.

#6. The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me. Animal House, Correct – JM, RD, JB

#7. I've known sheep that could outwit you. A Fish Called Wanda, Correct – DM, PR, RD, JB.

#8. Oh, he's an imbecile, probably from birth. Man's a complete idiot. Pray to God he's an idiot. The Elephant Man, Correct – JM, JB. Being There – RD, KT.

#9. I'm ashamed, Big Daddy. That's why I'm a drunk. When I'm drunk, I can stand myself. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Correct – DM, PR, JM, JB, KT. Rebel Without a Cause – RD.

#10. All combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four map segments. Wag the Dog. A Bridge Too Far – RD. Stripes – KT.

Bonus: What do all these films have in common? The titles all contain “Animal” or an animal, Correct - JB. You’ve used all these films before – PR. All Best Picture nominee – JM. MGM Films – RD. All were nominated for Best Actor – KT.

Points This Round – Jim Burgess [JB] – 9; Jack McHugh [JM] – 6; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 3; Rick Desper [RD] – 2; David McCrumb [DM] – 2; Heather Taylor [HT] – 1; Kevin Tighe [KT] - 1.

Total Game Points: Jim Burgess – 13; Kevin Tighe – 6; Paraic Reddington – 5; Jack McHugh – 5 Rick Desper – 4.

Round Six

#1. My father used to say there are four things that tell the world who a man is: his house, his car, his wife and his shoes.

#2. Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?

#3. Three dimes, a hundred dollar bill and eighty-seven ones.

#4. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.

#5. I want us to get married. I want us to have children together. I want us to put our teeth in the same cup.

#6. I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

#7. I think we have the kind of friendship where if I were the devil, you'd be the only one I would tell.

#8. You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable!

#9. Let me quote myself. One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything.

#10. I'm thinking about my identity, and not having one anymore. I mean, who am I, if I'm not the man who's failing Emma?

Bonus: What do all these films have in common?

Deadline for your answers to Round 6: March 29th 7:00am my time

General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine:

March 29th, 2011 at 7:00am my time.

See You Then!