Eternal Sunshine #66

Description: gdalogo July 2012

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow

Quote Of The Month – “I remember this time I made him come out onto this frozen river with me. He was terrified. Like a goddam girl…” (Clementine in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that can survive a Jack McHugh subzine. The question is, can YOU survive it?

I don’t have a lot to say this month. This past week saw the local weather enter the usual Texas Summer doldrums, with 100 degrees every day, 90 degrees at night, and lots of cranky people. I find myself with very little enthusiasm for anything, but it isn’t negative; I’m just rather flat. I have a LOT of editing I need to do on my personal writing projects, but I simply haven’t had the time or inclination to do much of it yet. That is still my real goal: finish the books and get them published. But since my writing class I have let it all lay there.

In the meantime, Heather has been on a bit of a personal spiritual journey. It appears that she has found what she was looking for, and has begun attending services every Sunday at a local Episcopalian church. Last Sunday she was baptized there, and she plans on joining the choir when it starts in August. It’s really good to see her feeling positive about things, and to be interacting with adults on a regular basis. She’s also spending about four hours a week volunteering with the local Social Services department doing paperwork and other office stuff. Heather has always had a tremendously giving nature, no matter what SHE might say, and I’m very proud of her.

In terms of this issue, there are a few things of note. The latest Dead Pool update has been posted, and the time has come for the next Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction contest. If that’s not enough for you, Jack McHugh runs a free Fantasy Football league; email me if you want to join in on that. There are still spots open.

As I warned, I’ve dropped some of the variant openings. A number of the games in ES are ending or close to ending, so if you want to continue to play here I suggest you sign up for SOMETHING! David Grabar, a “good old days” hobby member, is signed up for the next Diplomacy game. Why aren’t you?

Richard Weiss returns with the second issue of his subzine (and the second turn of his Yahtzee! Game). Jim Burgess is – as you’d expect – late with The Abyssinian Prince, so it isn’t included here. At least we’re keeping him CLOSE to schedule, which is a vast improvement over where he was before.

Please note that this month the deadline is on a MONDAY instead of a Tuesday. Don’t miss it. See you in August!

Playlist: Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash – The Pogues; In Color – Cheap Trick; Heaven Tonight – Cheap Trick; Cheap Trick – Cheap Trick; In the Time of Gods – Dar Williams.

Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – The clerk at the garage forgets to charge you for the $9 oil filter. You think the labor charge is too high. Do you mention the oil filter? #2 – After dumping you, your lover becomes famous. A magazine offers you $150,000 for your tasteful nude photos of your ex. Do you sell?

Melinda Holley - #1 - Yes, I mention it. First, the cost of the oil filter has nothing to do with how much I think the labor charge should be. Second, if I'm going to hell for cheating/stealing, I'd prefer it be for something other than a $9 oil filter.

#2 - No, because I wouldn't have them. They would have been used for target practice.

Rick Desper - #1 - Do I tell the auto shop they should have charged me $9 more? Of course not.

#2 - Do I sell tasteful nude photos of an ex? Seems unlikely. The only circumstances I could see doing such a thing would be with the consent of the ex. Maybe she's a model who thinks the photos present a good image of her? But as a way to get revenge? Never.

Richard Walkerdine - #1 - No way would I mention it, they have screwed me so many times!

#2 - Of course I’d sell the pics – serve the bitch right!

Andy Lischett - #1 - Yes, I tell them that they forgot to charge for the filter. If I think the labor was too much, either I tell them or I just don't go back there.

#2 - No.

Philip Murphy - #1 - I'd love to say that I would, but honestly if he charged too much for labor, I would not mention it.

#2 –I think not. Last thing I need is a lawsuit contesting ownership of the photos or seeking damages for breach of privacy. Besides, I wouldn't feel right about doing it.

Dick Martin - #1 – nope.

#2 - yep (how would the magazine know in the first place if i wasn't the one to tell them - and i'd only do that if i was marketing them)

Richard Weiss - #1 - No, I will consider it even and be quiet.

#2 – No way. $500K or higher and I talk with her and see what she says.

Jack McHugh - #1 - No, the oil filter shouldn't be that much either...geez, what is this the Rip Off Garage?

#2 –Depends on why I was dumped, but I am assuming I'm not happy I was dumped so I would.

Tom Howell - #1 - Nine dollar oil filter? Mine usually run three or four times that. Hmmm. If the labor is high by about the charge for the filter, I very likely might call it a wash, and not say anything. If the labor is higher than that - excessive by at least two or three times the cost of the filter, I'd probably ask for an explanation of the labor charge; then ask them to reduce it. If they refuse to lower the labor, but notice the missing filter and add it, that was a risk I realized before I opened my mouth. If they decline to lower the labor and don't notice the missing filter, I probably won't notice (mention) it either. If they do reduce the labor charge to something reasonable, I'd very likely then point out the missing filter charge.

#2 - Hoooo boy! You ask some doosys, don't you! I've been 'dumped' by several women who I've remained on good terms with despite no longer being lovers. I can't think of any of them whose nude photos – tasteful or otherwise - I'd sell, if I had any, even for that kind of money. There was one, however... We had bought a house together on Greenlake in Seattle. After we'd been in it for a couple of years, she decided we shouldn't be together, but didn't want to reimburse me my portion of the down payment, much less a proportional share of the increase in the assessed value. Of my three divorces, this was the only one involving lawyers. We weren't even legally married. After the dust settled, I came away with about 32,000 - we'd paid 172,000. She's still in it. Last time I looked, the place was assessed at around 600,000. If I had photos of this piece of work worth 150,000, I'd cash in without any hesitation.

Andy York - #1 - Yep, no question. And, if I felt the labor charge too high I'd ask about it as well.

#2 - No, as I wouldn't have any to sell (though, what could I photoshop for them.....just kidding).

Per Westling - #1 - Yes, I tend to do so. It's a reflex but some people seem to find that strange.

#2 - It depends on my relation to said X-lover. With a normal relation I would not sell, but if we were "enemies", I would take the money.

Don Williams - #1 - They forgot to charge the oil filter but overcharged on the labor? What else is new? I thought these were hypotheticals? This happens every time I … never mind. No, no, no, I pay for the filter and make frustrated noises about the labor, and either decide to go elsewhere or suck it up. Better yet, I change my … or else have Andy Lischett do it as he seems to like it.

#2 - First, I would never have such pictures. Second, I’d never be married to such a person. Third, if suppositions one and two were wrong, I don’t think I could sell the pics … it’s not about the money or the revenge (one assumes) or anything else, it’s about demeaning myself. (UNLESS … my ex said it was okay to sell them … then I would. Better yet, I might see what she’d offer for them w/o expressly suggesting blackmail/extortion. Who know, she might pay more … or even allow me to have my retirement/house/alimony/stuff back. (No, I don’t sell ‘em … much more fun to let her know I have ‘em and let her twist in the wind … )

Heather Taylor - #1 – I would probably try to reason with myself that it all comes out even. Then I’d feel too guilty and say something. That SUCKS!

#2 – I would SOOOO want to, but I wouldn’t because I would totally not want anyone to sell any nude pictures of me. But I would still WANT to!

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: #1 – You lose an expensive gold watch and are reimbursed by your insurance company. Two months later you find the watch. Do you return the money? #2 – After looking for work for six month, you get a good offer from a large weapons manufacturer. Do you accept it?

The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews

There were a few movies we wanted to see, but with Heather’s new schedule (adding church and volunteering at the city’s Social Services department) and how sick and in pain I’ve been most of this month, it just never happened. DVD’s only.

Seen on DVD – The Messengers (C-, a few creepy bits, but bland and uninspired). John Waters: This Creepy World (B-, often amusing with some occasional belly laughs, just seemed about 15 minutes too long). Another Earth (B-, very slow-moving but occasionally thought-provoking film). Human Centipede II (C-, no longer oddly fascinating, now just REALLY creepy and grotesque). Funny Bones (B, if you’ve never seen this you still need to, but I now realize I’ve seen it enough times.)

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Rick Desper: Thoughts about the just-finished Kendo game.

Turn 1: I picked Stuttgart just out of the blue. It's a city in the middle of Europe and close to where I lived in Heidelberg. When the results were published, the only other cities picked in Europe were London and Edinburgh. My sense of geography was a bit off - I thought that since Stuttgart wasn't the closet location, the location couldn 't be in Continental Europe, unless it was Northern France or the Lowlands. It never occurred to me that London was closer to Spain than Stuttgart. It took me several turns to figure that out.

Turn 2: Somehow I missed this deadline. The clue wasn't of much use.

Turn 3: I figured I'd stay in Germany and pretend I was the closest. And since I'd used Gaiman I would use Pratchett, his co-author of Good Omens. The clue made it seem like you were talking about Neville Chamberlain. There were other possibilities (Chairman Mao, Winston Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt) but the personage who is associated with blame more than anything else is Chamberlain. So I looked for a place close to Barcelona. And for somebody born in Prague, the city most associated with Chamberlain's appeasement.

Turn 4: Went with Lisbon. And Kafka. Amazingly, Lisbon was not the closest. But two others had made guesses in Spain.

Turn 5: I picked the wrong one (Freud in Madrid) and tried to go with somebody who might have died about the time Freud's career had started, and who had been responsible for something bad happening to somebody's home city. Metternich seemed like a decent guess. If I'd looked at the numbers exactly, I might have seen that Metternich died a bit early. This time I was closest, and we were told somebody had guessed the right person (but it wasn't me). The two choices were Marie Curie and Sigmund Freud.

Turn 6: Now if I'd parsed the clue from Turn 5 exactly ("one of you..") I would have gone with Curie instead of Freud. But Freud was the one of the two from Prague. And really, not many people blame Chamberlain for the invasion of Poland. I went through all the clues made thus far and pretty much figured out the sequence of best guesses. The Casablanca miss meant that the circle was pretty tight in the South of Spain. So I went with Cadiz, the next best guess since Seville, Barcelona, Gibraltar, Madrid, and Lisbon were all misses. I hit the city on the dot, but had the wrong person.

Turn 7: at this point it was obvious (to me at least) that it was Curie in Cadiz. The problem was that anybody else who decided to use Cadiz was going to pick Curie, since it was obviously not Freud in Cadiz.

Reading through the commentary of others: Kevin Wilson talks about staying put if you're not closest. This is what I was trying to do, but it didn't work, since even though Stuttgart wasn't the closest to Cadiz, it was actually the second closest.

[[Anybody playing Kendo Nagasaki should read over this letter for some great strategy tips!]]

Tom Howell: Doug, regarding that story about the saving wife from Jack's last BF, I heard a slightly different version - not so much different as longer. After the punch line, it goes on: "At which point she pulled a gun and

shot him dead. Women are like a cell phone, they want your attention and need to be held and cuddled, but push the wrong button, and your ass is disconnected!"

[[Ehhhh…cell phones don’t need attention….]]

Andy York: I tried to get the latest Antje Duvekot album you've mentioned, but it seems it only exists as a download. Any idea if a physical version will actually be published (and when)?

[[She has a big release party in Boston in early September so I guess that’s when it becomes available to the general public as a hard-copy CD.]]

You're right, the Rangers are doing well (the Express, not so much). I'm planning on being up there the weekend of August 10 for three games. I'm expecting to see the Astros the weekend of July 7th for two afternoon games and a couple weeks back went up to San Angelo to watch the Colts play. Yes, I enjoy baseball season!

[[But soooo hot at the Ballpark in August!]]

Dane Maslen: Well, it's time for the last minute rush to get some orders to you now that the latest issue of DG has been put to bed and I can start catching up on reading other people's zines.

I have several friends, all cyclists, who are into geocaching. I'm not sure what puzzles me most, that they are or that I'm not. In some respects geocaching sounds like the sort of idiocy that could appeal to me, but thankfully so far I have remained immune.

I found Barbara’s travelogue very interesting. Like her I am surprised that she found herself by arch-conservatives on the trip. I would have expected apologists for Cuba to be the more likely participants. Quite why anyone should choose to visit a country they so obvious abhor is beyond me. At least when I visited South Africa 30-odd years ago, it wasn't by choice. At the time I was a postgraduate astronomer, the UK's Science Research Council (SRC) had a 50% share in an observatory in the Karoo, and my research topic necessitated observations of the Large Magellanic Cloud, something not visible from the Northern Hemisphere. Furthermore the pricing of the air fares was such that it was cheaper for the SRC to send someone out for three weeks than just for the one week of observing. Thus I found myself with an enforced two-week holiday in Cape Town.

Two things stand out in my memory about that stay in Cape Town. The first is what happened when I wanted to visit the bird reserve at Rondevlei. I did what was natural to me: consulted a map and found that there was a station nearby, so took the train there and set about walking the mile or so to the reserve. I think it's fair to say that I felt very uncomfortable when it dawned on me that this was one of the coloured areas and that mine was the only white face present. The second occurred when I was leaving a shop. As I opened the door there was someone about to come in, so I held the door open for him. He paused a moment, clearly very surprised, before entering. It took me a moment to realize the cause of his surprise: he was coloured and not accustomed to having a white hold a door open for him. I felt that any society in which a common courtesy could cause astonishment was most definitely a society of which I disapproved.

[[I have a few friends in South Africa, and it is still quite a difficult situation. I suppose it will take many years for things to get to the peaceful level they hope for.]]

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

WE NEED MORE PARTICIPANTS! ONLY MEANS YOU DO AN ENTRY EVERY 3 OR 4 MONTHS! IF WE DON’T GET MORE PARTICIPANTS, THIS WILL END SOON!

Chapter 13 by Paraic Reddington

Searing, blinding pain. Like a lightning bolt through the head. He winced as the darkness grew light and he slowly opened his eyes. The world was a blur. Somewhere in the back of his skull a fat hairy construction worker was jack-hammering away while a half smoked cigarette dangled precariously from his mouth.

“Oh jesus” he mumbled. He blinked away the blur and the room slowly came into focus. He was lying in bed. His eyelids felt heavy and he had to make a conscious effort to keep them open. There was a metallic taste in his mouth.

The jack-hammering construction worker was joined by his colleague with a sledge hammer as they gradually demolished the sidewalk of his brain. He tried to rub his eyes but he realised he could only move his arms a few inches. He was in hand cuffs and cuffed to the bed rails.

“Ah at last!” a voice from the corner. He rolled his head to the side and noticed the stranger sitting in the chair. “I thought you’d never wake up, sleeping beauty.”

The man was tall and big, but not overweight. He wore a long black coat over a cream shirt and black tie. A raincoat, still wet, was slung over the back of the chair. “I hope you’re feeling better. Those hillbillies really took a liking to you.” The memory of the red pickup flashed into his head, along with another lightning bolt of agony.

“What do you want?” He fumbled the words from his mouth as he realised that there was a large chunk of flesh missing from his tongue.

“I want to talk to you about this little lot of trinkets.” The man said as he gestured to the bedside table. Lying on the table were the contents of his bag.

“Now where would a man be going on a busy day with a scalpel and a syringe in his pocket eh? Planning a bit of urban street surgery were you?”

The sound of his heartbeat filled his head as he tried to think. He couldn’t move his arms but his legs and head were free. If he could just get this guy closer.

“I could use some water” he whispered.

The other man rose from the chair and approached the bed. The water jug was on the other side of the bed and the tall man made the mistake of leaning over the bed to reach it.

He grabbed the dangling tie with his right hand and pulled hard as he lunged his head and shoulders forward and sank his teeth into the man’s neck. The man tried to scream but the sound was stifled as his trachea was crushed. He recoiled and tore himself free, along with a large chunk of his throat. He staggered upright and clutched at the wound as the man in the bed swung his legs up and around his neck. The whole bed toppled over and both men fell to the ground. The tall man’s neck was snapped as they landed.

He spat out the gobbet of flesh and tried with the little wiggle room he had to search the tall man’s pockets. Sure enough, the keys were there.

Just as he gathered up his things and put on the raincoat, the alarm went off.

Next up – Mark Firth

Description: MC900229981[1] LIFEBOAT!

A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…

This is the simple game of Lifeboat. Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not. Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure). The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard). In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over. Last one in the boat wins. I’ll probably give a prize, as usual. Press is encouraged. Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed. I just simply announce who is thrown overboard. If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue. If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad. There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to.

Currently in the lifeboat:

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	66	1.5%
ALM - Hank Alme	9	28.6%
AMB - Amber Smith	35	-12.5%
AND - Lance Anderson	33	-10.8%
BAB - Chris Babcock	4	-20.0%
BIE - John Biehl	85	1.2%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	76	2.7%
BWD - Brad Wilson	80	2.6%
CAK - Andy Lischett	77	2.7%
CAL - Cal White	3	-40.0%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	0.01	0.0%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	80	2.6%
CKY - Carol Kay	13	8.3%
DAN - Dane Maslen	78	2.6%
DBG - David Burgess	0.01	0.0%
DGR - David Grabar	50	0.0%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	73	1.4%
DUK - Don Williams	59	3.5%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	72	1.4%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	0.01	0.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	74	2.8%
GRA - Graham Wilson	2	-33.3%
HDT - Heather Taylor	75	2.7%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	73	2.8%
HPL - Hugh Polley	35	2.9%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	75	2.7%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	74	4.2%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	68	4.6%
LAT - David Latimer	73	2.8%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	25	-13.8%
MCC - David McCrumb	70	-7.9%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	73	2.8%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	73	2.8%
OTS - Tom Howell	72	2.9%
PER - Per Westling	68	1.5%
PJM - Phil Murphy	23	9.5%
QUI - Michael Quirk	7	-30.0%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	56	1.8%
RDP - Rick Desper	73	2.8%
REB - Melinda Holley	80	2.6%
RED - Paraic Reddington	83	3.8%
RWE - Richard Weiss	71	7.6%
SAK - Jack McHugh	112	4.7%
TAP - Jim Burgess	87	2.4%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	0.01	0.0%
WAY - W. Andrew York	76	2.7%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	131	4.0%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%
YLP - Paul Milewski	87	1.2%

Description: MCj03243400000[1] Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jack@diplomacyworld.net

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #44

I lost my latest job after a week. Now I’m living alone with my dogs, and may be moving in with a relative any day. And my fantasy baseball team has forgotten how to hit. Screw all of you. Oh, in case I’m still alive when you read this, I’ve started my fantasy football league again.

Description: colon

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a Colonoscopy in my home town, I decided to have my next one carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.

As I lay naked on my side on the table, the nurse began the procedure.

"Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection." the nurse told me.

"But I haven't got an erection," I replied.

"No, but I do," replied the nurse.

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens' fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

Description: homel

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."

And to finish up this month, before I go try to find if there is any drop of liquor left in this house that an unnamed fucking selfish bastard didn’t drink, some “perfectly timed photos”…..

It just all depends on how you look at some things..

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree.. She discovered that Senator Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in Montana territory. On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription: 'Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle. Believe it or not, Harry Reid's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

NOW THAT's how it's done, Folks! That's a real POLITICAL SPIN

ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 2

Yahtzee Game: Kim Philby

Everyone is free to join now or anytime up until Round 3 Roll 3 is published. Send me an email and your orders for the Round with the first roll then shown. Eg, if it is then Round 4, Roll 1; Round 3, Roll 2; and Round 2, Roll 3 – then tell me what to keep for Round 4 Roll 1. I will randomly choose one of the players already in the game and you get his or her rolls and score for the rounds already completed or in progress.

Rules published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982.

Round 1, Roll 1: 2,2,3,3,4

Players: Kept

Doug Kent Kept 2, 2
Brendan Whyte Kept 2,2

Kevin Wilson Kept 2,3,4

Geoff Kemp Kept 2,3,4

Michael Moulton Kept 3,3

Dane Maslen Kept 2, 3, 4

Round 1, Roll 2: Dice in order are 6, 6, 4. [[Dane, Geoff and Kevin use the 6 & 6. The other three use the 6, 6, & 4]]

Press:

YahtzeeMage to all: Thank you for playing. I see most of you don’t believe in playing the odds.

YM to all: With your orders for the next roll after Roll 3 of any given Round, tell me where to score your Rolls – such as “Chance,” or the “4’s.” No need to make conditional orders, just wait for the next time to send in orders. As such, scoring will occur the round after a Roll 3 for the given Round.

	Round 1.1 Kept
Doug Kent	2,2
Brendan Whyte	2,2
Kevin Wilson	2,3,4
Geoff Kemp	2,3,4
Michael Moulton	3,3

Roll 1.1	2,2,3,3,4
Roll 1.2	6,6,4
Roll 2.1	1,2,3,6,6

Send in orders telling me what you want to keep for Both Round 1 rolls and the Round 2 roll.

Email Richard at richardweiss “of” higherquality.com – deadline is July 27th

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?

Rules in ES #58. Send in your guesses. I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain! As soon as this one ends, a new one will begin.

ROUND 1

Deadline for Round 2 is July 30th at 7:00am My Time

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Dave Grabar, need six more to fill.

Balkan Wars VI (Unknown Press Level): To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, Brendan Whyte, needs 2 more. Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com. Sign up now!!! HURRY!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

Yahtzee!: Richard Weiss is running a game of Yahtzee! in his subzine Zero Sum, returning from a decades (?) long absence. Join in now!

By Popular Demand: Back to the normal format. Join anytime.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not.

Movie Photo Contest: 10 Rounds, with a prize to the winner. Join anytime!

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!

Kremlin: House rules in ES #59. I’d like to get five players for this, any takers? Jack McHugh, Rick Desper, Jim Burgess signed up, need at least 1 more.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Eternal Sunshine Game Section

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 18/S 19

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): Build A Trieste..

F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea (*Fails*), A Apulia - Naples (*Fails*), A Belgium Hold, A Bohemia – Galicia,

F Brest Supports F North Sea - English Channel (*Void*), A Budapest - Rumania (*Fails*),

A Burgundy Supports A Gascony – Marseilles, A Denmark Hold, A Finland - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

A Gascony - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Holland Supports A Belgium,

A Norway Supports A Finland - St Petersburg (*Cut*), A Picardy Supports F Brest, A Prussia – Livonia,

A Serbia Supports A Budapest – Rumania, A Trieste – Venice, A Warsaw Supports A Prussia - Livonia.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): A Liverpool – Wales,

F North Sea Convoys A Yorkshire – Norway, A Yorkshire - Norway (*Fails*).

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Remove A Constantinople.. A Armenia – Rumania,

F Black Sea Convoys A Armenia – Rumania, A Bulgaria Supports A Armenia – Rumania,

F English Channel - Brest (*Fails*), F Greece Hold, F Ionian Sea - Adriatic Sea (*Fails*), A Livonia – Moscow,

F Marseilles Supports F Spain(sc) (*Cut*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F English Channel – Brest,

F Rome Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples, A Sevastopol Supports A Armenia – Rumania,

F Spain(sc) Supports F Marseilles, A St Petersburg Supports A Yorkshire - Norway (*Cut*),

F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples.

F 19 Deadline is July 30th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

None. You guys suck.

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: Sells 500 Crowns. Buys 635 Pounds.

Smaug the Dragon: Snore…..

Rothschild: Sells 500 Pounds and 500 Piastres. Buys 913 Crowns.

Baron Wuffet: Is trying to get his name changed.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Pounds and 500 Piastres. Buys 913 Crowns.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 454 Piastres. Buys 471 Crowns.

Insider Trading LLC: Meeting with an attorney.

Bourse Master: Stands pat.

PRESS

Duke of York to Rothschild: I have come home to my verdant city on the Vale, by the Ouse and Foss... there I calmly purchase more Pounds, waiting for a stable English king to declare my fealty to.

VAIONT to ROTHSCHILDS: My, my, my – been a busy little blueblood on the Internet, haven’t we? Yup, that’s the dam I’m named for. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and a few stones from the bottom of the landslide. Walked the towns of Casso and Erto. Got the book Sulla Pelle Viva, and the Marco Paolini VHS production. It’s a helluva story and one that should be told to American audiences some day. I should write the book myself. Good work!

VAIONT to YUKE of DORK: Damn good guess, Lord Fuddled. One might be tempted to cry, “Bravo! Bravo!”

VAIONT ENTERPRISES to DUKE OF YORK & ROTHSCHILDS: What really should have been to you both the single biggest clue to my identity is my utter, total, complete, abject, thorough mistrust of my beloved friend Boob’s play. Don’t look now, but this is all about to go down the …

VAIONT to JB: I jest! I jest! See the funny little clown? Just think about the fool who by his virtue can be found in the most unusual situation, playing jester to the clown! (Compliments and attributions to Mr. Lightfoot.)

VAIONT to ROTHCHILDS: I think YOU are about to take a “pounding” … and by the end of this all those piastres won’t be worth a piss!

Next Bourse Deadline is July 29^th at 7:00pm my time

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, W 16/S 17

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build A Vienna..

A Budapest Supports A Bulgaria – Serbia, F Trieste - Adriatic Sea, A Vienna - Trieste.

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Albania Supports F Ionian Sea – Greece,

F Belgium - Paris (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea – Greece, A Moscow Hold, F Norway Hold, A Picardy Hold,

A Spain – Gascony, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow, F Tunis - Ionian Sea,

F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Tunis - Ionian Sea, F Western Mediterranean - Spain(sc), A Yorkshire Hold.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): A Apulia – Rome, A Bulgaria – Serbia,

A Burgundy Hold, F Denmark Hold, A Galicia Supports A Rumania, F Holland Hold, A Marseilles Hold,
A Rumania Supports A Bulgaria – Serbia, A Sevastopol - Armenia (*Fails*), F Sweden Hold,

A Ukraine Supports A Rumania, A Venice Hold, A Warsaw Hold.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): A Armenia - Sevastopol (*Fails*),

F Constantinople Supports A Greece – Bulgaria, F Eastern Mediterranean - Aegean Sea, A Greece – Bulgaria,

~~A Serbia - Rumania~~ (*Disbanded*).

Now Proposed – Concession to England. Please vote, NVR=No.

F 17 Deadline is July 30th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

Anon.: Perhaps the festering red pustule will explode and discolour the black vermin.

AUSTRIA to EUROPE: I’m having a very strong sense of déjà vu …

Black Press Gunboat, “Scream” 2010Brb32, F 10

England: Disband F Edinburgh.. A London Hold, ~~A Yorkshire Hold~~ (*Dislodged*).

France: F Adriatic Sea Supports A Rome – Venice, A Marseilles – Spain, A Rome - Venice (*Fails*),

F Tyrrhenian Sea - Ionian Sea.

Germany: NMR! F Brest Hold, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Hold, ~~A Paris Hold~~ (*Dislodged*).

Russia: F Armenia - Ankara (*Fails*), A Belgium Supports A Burgundy,

F Black Sea Convoys A Sevastopol – Bulgaria, A Budapest – Trieste, A Burgundy Supports A Picardy – Paris,

A Edinburgh Supports A Norway – Yorkshire, A Galicia – Vienna, F Holland Supports A Belgium,

F North Sea Convoys A Norway – Yorkshire, A Norway – Yorkshire, F Norwegian Sea Supports A Edinburgh,

A Picardy – Paris, A Rumania Supports A Serbia, A Serbia Supports A Sevastopol - Bulgaria (*Cut*),

A Sevastopol - Bulgaria (*Fails*), A Tyrolia Supports A Venice, A Venice Supports A Budapest - Trieste (*Cut*).

Turkey: F Aegean Sea Supports A Bulgaria, A Ankara Hold, A Bulgaria Supports A Greece - Serbia (*Cut*),

F Constantinople Supports A Ankara, A Greece - Serbia (*Fails*).

Russia Wins!!

End Game Statements are due July 30th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

England: Liverpool, London=2, Even or Build 1

France: Marseilles, Naples, Rome, Spain, Tunis=5, Build 1

Germany: Brest, Portugal=2, Even or Remove 1

Russia: Belgium, Berlin, Budapest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Holland, Kiel, Moscow, Munich, Norway,

Paris, Rumania, Serbia, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Sweden, Trieste, Venice, Vienna,

Warsaw=20, WINS!!

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Smyrna=5, Even

PRESS:

France: How many, a lot? I hope!

Turkey: A round of applause for the brilliant press in the Lighthouse game. Excellent stuff.

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, W 08/S 09

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Build A Budapest..

A Bohemia Supports A Vienna – Tyrolia, A Budapest – Galicia, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*),

A Prussia Supports A Berlin, A Silesia Supports A Munich, A St Petersburg – Finland, A Trieste Supports A Venice,

A Venice Supports A Bulgaria – Rome, A Vienna - Tyrolia.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): Retreat F St Petersburg(nc) - Barents Sea..

F Baltic Sea Supports F Kiel – Berlin, F Barents Sea Supports F Norway - St Petersburg(nc),

F English Channel Hold, F Helgoland Bight Supports F Holland - Kiel (*Fails*), F Holland - Kiel (*Fails*),

F Kiel - Berlin (*Fails*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports F Spain(sc) - Western Mediterranean (*Void*),

F Norway - St Petersburg(nc).

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): Disband A Venice.. Build A Paris..

F Gulf of Lyon - Spain(sc), A Marseilles – Gascony, A Paris Hold, A Ruhr – Burgundy, F Spain(sc) – Portugal,

A Tuscany - Piedmont.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Berlin Supports A Munich (*Cut*),

A Munich Supports A Berlin.

Italy (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Disband F Marseilles.. ~~A Rome - Venice~~ (*Dislodged*,

retreat to Apulia or Tuscany or OTB).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): F Aegean Sea Convoys A Bulgaria – Rome,

A Bulgaria – Rome, F Greece Supports F Ionian Sea, F Ionian Sea Convoys A Bulgaria – Rome,

F Naples Supports A Bulgaria – Rome, F Tunis Supports F Tyrrhenian Sea,

F Tyrrhenian Sea Convoys A Bulgaria - Rome.

Summer/Fall 09 Deadline is July 30th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Constantinople-Vienna: Keep the chin up, my friend.

Ankara-Italy: No hard feelings.

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, F 09

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Rick Desper): F Adriatic Sea - Ionian Sea, F Aegean Sea – Smyrna, A Budapest Supports A Rumania,

A Bulgaria - Constantinople (*Fails*), F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Aegean Sea – Smyrna,

A Galicia – Warsaw, A Kiel Supports A Munich (*Cut*), A Marseilles Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Spain(sc)

(*Void*), A Munich Supports A Kiel, A North Africa - Brest (*Fails*), A Rumania Hold,

A Silesia Supports A Galicia – Warsaw, A Tuscany – Piedmont, A Tyrolia Supports A Munich.

England (Tom Howell): F Clyde – Edinburgh, F Denmark - Kiel (*Fails*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean – Portugal,

F North Atlantic Ocean - Norwegian Sea, F North Sea Supports F Clyde – Edinburgh, A Picardy - Belgium.

France (Brad Wilson): Disband F Clyde.. A Burgundy Hold, ~~F Edinburgh Hold~~ (*Dislodged*), A Holland Hold,

A Ruhr Hold, F Spain(sc) - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Sweden - Finland.

Italy (John Biehl): ~~F Constantinople - Bulgaria(sc)~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Aegean Sea or OTB).

Russia (John Biehl): Retreat A Galicia - Warsaw.. F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol – Rumania,

A Norway - St Petersburg, A Sevastopol - Rumania (*Fails*), ~~A Warsaw - Galicia~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to

Ukraine or Moscow or Livonia or Prussia or OTB).

Turkey (Rick Desper): F Ankara Supports F Smyrna – Constantinople, F Smyrna - Constantinople.

A/W 09 and S10 Deadline is July 30^th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Greece, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples, Rome, Rumania, Serbia,

Smyrna, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=17, Build 3 (Room for 2)

England: Belgium, Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Paris, Portugal=8, Build 2

France: Holland, Spain, Sweden=3, Remove 2 or 3

Italy None=0, OUT!!

Russia: Moscow, Norway, Sevastopol, St Petersburg=4, Even or Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Constantinople=2, Even

PRESS

Vienna: Move it move it move it!!!!!

Turkey: We're stopping the oppression in Syria! Down with Assad!

Everybody must defeat Austria -> "Just wait till I get Austria"

Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, W 07/S 08

Austria: Build A Vienna, A Budapest.. A Bohemia – Silesia, A Budapest – Vienna, A Bulgaria – Greece,

F Ionian Sea Supports F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Moscow Supports A Warsaw – Livonia, A Munich – Burgundy,

F Naples - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Piedmont Hold, A Prussia Supports A Bohemia - Silesia (*Cut*), A Rome – Tuscany,

A Rumania – Galicia, A Trieste – Tyrolia, A Tyrolia – Munich, A Ukraine – Warsaw, A Vienna – Bohemia,

A Warsaw - Livonia.

England: Build A London, A Liverpool, F Edinburgh.. F Belgium Supports A London – Picardy,

F Berlin - Prussia (*Fails*), A Brest – Paris, F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea (*Bounce*),

F English Channel Convoys A London – Picardy, A Holland – Ruhr, F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean,

A Kiel Supports A Holland – Ruhr, A Liverpool Hold, A London – Picardy,

~~F Marseilles - Piedmont~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Gulf of Lyon or OTB), A St Petersburg Holds and Prays.

France: Disband F Brest.. Remove F Tunis, A Paris.. A Burgundy – Marseilles,

F North Atlantic Ocean - Norwegian Sea (*Bounce*), F Spain(sc) Supports A Burgundy - Marseilles.

Now Proposed – Concession to Austria. Please vote, NVR=No.

F 08 Deadline is July 30th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

None. You guys suck.

Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” - 2011? – W 04

Winter Only By Player Request

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Has A Serbia.

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Has A Clyde, F Liverpool, F London.

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” gmail.com): Build F Marseilles.. Has A Belgium, A Burgundy,

F English Channel, A Holland, F Marseilles, F North Atlantic Ocean, F Western Mediterranean.

Germany (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com): Remove F Denmark..Has F Helgoland Bight,

A Kiel, F Norwegian Sea, A Ruhr.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Has F Aegean Sea, A Budapest, A Galicia, F Greece,

F Ionian Sea, A Trieste, A Tyrolia, A Vienna.

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): Retreat A Galicia - Ukraine.. Build A Warsaw..

Has F Black Sea, A Bulgaria, F Constantinople, F Eastern Mediterranean, A Finland, F North Sea, F Norway,

A Rumania, A Smyrna, A Ukraine, A Warsaw.

S 05 Deadline is July 30^th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Borgia Queen - All: Damn, I miss Freddie Mercury!

BERLIN: Well, perhaps not. Maybe.

KIEL: Christ, that Serbian is long-winded. Will no one rid us of that troublesome poet??

AUSTRIA – BORGIA QUEEN: Hey, no problems. How about if you dislodge me from SER I retreat OTB and then you clear through SER in the Fall and let me keep it? We could call it the Cooley Contract. What do you think?

Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012?, Spring 1901

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Budapest – Serbia, F Trieste – Albania,

A Vienna - Galicia (*Bounce*).

England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, A Liverpool – Yorkshire,

F London - North Sea.

France (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): F Brest - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Marseilles – Spain,

A Paris - Burgundy (*Bounce*).

Germany (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Holland,

A Munich - Burgundy (*Bounce*).

Italy (Mark Firth - mark.firth “of” bluefingroup.co.uk): F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome – Apulia,

A Venice Hold.

Russia (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): A Moscow – Ukraine,

F Sevastopol - Black Sea (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw - Galicia (*Bounce*).

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Ankara - Black Sea (*Bounce*),

A Constantinople – Bulgaria, A Smyrna - Armenia.

Brad Wilson has resigned his position. Will Richard Weiss (richardweiss “of” higherquality.com) take over as the new Russian Czar?

PRESS

Rus - Tur: I really don't want to see you in the Black Sea or Armenia. If you're there, then it's war to the death. So let's go after Austria, okay?

Ger - Eng/Fra: Belgium will belong to whoever offers me the best alliance. You know I'm good for it.

T - R "Please talk to me, it is unusual not to speak in our position!"

Inside the walls of the Vatican: I hear voices in my head, they counsel me, they understand, they talk to me. The Riviera, you say? Yes, why not?

(Brad Wilson to Jack McHugh): How many beers do you need?

(Bob Olsen to Don Williams): Why are you talking about me, you're not even in the game!

(Bob Olsen to "Brad Wilson" and "Geoff Kemp"): You will now execute the Juggernaut that I have ordered you to do, it will cast the spell that will resurrect the sadly missing Kathy Byrne Caruso. We still mourn her loss.

(Mark Firth to Don Williams): Sure, I'm game, give me Munich and it's done.

(Don Williams to Melinda Holley): I know you can't trust me, but REALLY, you can trust me!!

(Brad Wilson to Geoff Kemp): You will do my bidding, then I will decipher the press for you.

(Sara Reichert to Don Williams): You will regret resurrecting me, I am the only one who knows your secrets.

(Sara Reichert to the Rest of the Board): Who's the girl here? Who wants to join me? You've all heard the story of the Japanese chef, right? If not, we'll slowly divulge the details over the next few game seasons. Cheers, and bon appetit!

Turkey-All "Thank you all for your patience with this game, hopefully we can all go on to make it a game to remember"

MOSCOW: This game just came at a bad time and you all deserve a Russian who pays attention. I ordered in a way to preserve Russian options for the Fall. Best of luck to all.

MOSCOW to GM: My apologies. Just didn't work out.

GERMANY to FRANCE: Call it a hunch. More of an itchy, scratchy, twitchy feeling between the shoulders blades, actually, but “hunch” will do for short …

BERLIN to ALL: Started a little slow after some great pre-game press. I promise to pick up my game if you’ll all do the same.

Fall 1901 Deadline now is July 30th at 7:00am my time

By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Note – This is the regular By Popular Demand, not the By ALMOST popular demand we did last time.

Round 3 Categories