Eternal Sunshine #68

September 2012

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow

Quote Of The Month – “He could wake up all half-baked and, gooey and, and half-baked... mmm, that sounds sooo good. I'm hungry.” (Mary in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine that is brave enough to allow Brad Wilson to offer a game of Balkan Wars VI. And guess what folks? THERE’S ONLY ONE SPOT LEFT! So don’t miss your chance to enjoy this fast-paced variant in a game filled with famous (and infamous) names. Sign up with myself or with Brad directly, but SIGN UP!

And while you’re signing up….the latest Diplomacy game is nearly full, and there’s a new Gunboat game just opened. Plus the Kremlin game has enough players, so I’m starting it next issue’ but if you want to join in the fun there, you still can. Just make sure you sign up in the next few weeks. Add to that the new Movie Photo Contest (with the prior one ending this issue), and there’s a pile of things for you to jump into head-first. Participate, damn you!

I’ve been kind of moody and depressed this month, but I hope the upcoming Labor Day weekend will re-energize me and maybe even allow me the motivation to get back to editing and improving my existing essays and chapters. With three potential books in the works, I haven’t gone near them in months…I know what I need to do on the editing front, at least this next pass, but I haven’t forced myself to begin. Maybe September will bring progress on that front.

Not really a lot to say, which as Heather will tell you is a rarity for me. The Rangers continue to have a great season, and I am hoping for the New York Football Giants to crush the hated Cowboys next Wednesday in the opening of the new football season. Just as important, I hope to repeat as champion of the Eternal Sunshine “Cowboy Haters” Fantasy Football League. Remember folks, if you’re in that league with me, it’s in your best interest to let me win…or else!

Don’t forget that the next Diplomacy World deadline is October 1^st…we need articles, especially convention reports. Email me if you need some tips. But submit something there too, or I’ll send Jack McHugh to your house…he’ll eat all your food, drink all your beer, and stink up your sofa. Anyway, enjoy the change in seasons, if they have one where you live (isn’t much of one here in Texas), and I’ll see you in October!

Playlist: Circus Heart – Rebecca Loebe; What’s More Honest than a Song? – Shannon Wurst; Stop Making Sense – Talking Heads; Lantana – Caroline Herring.

Notice anything missing? Yup, The Abyssinian Prince….Jim-Boob Burgess SUCKS!!!

Hypothetical of the Month

Last month, we gave you these two hypotheticals: #1 – The taxi driver asks if he should leave the amount of the fare blank on the receipt. You can claim expenses. Do you indicate that he should? #2 – The price tag on the pants you are buying is $28, but the salesperson has only rung up $24. Do you ask if there is a mistake?

Melinda Holley -#1 - No. I tell him to write the amount of the fare. If he pushes, I tell him that I work for the Dept. of Justice & they frown on that sort of fraud.

#2 - Yes. Her drawer will be shown as $4 short. The store won't hurt for $4 but her supervisor may be a hard a$$ and the clerk will be in trouble. Heck, I've pointed out mistakes that were less and greater than $4 and none were in my favor.

Richard Walkerdine - #1 - As I always had a good relationship with my employer I would not ask for the fare to be left blank.

#2 - I would say nothing.

Dick Martin - #1 - the driver should fill in the amount

2 - i don't ask, unless the difference is particularly significant or if i'd picked up the item specifically for its price. stuff gets mis-marked all the time - sometimes i win, sometimes i don't.

Robin ap Cynan - #1 – No.

#2 – No.

Tom Howell - #1 - No.

#2 - Usually.

Dave McCrumb - #1 – Wouldn’t matter since I pay for it with credit card. It would be more difficult to explain when that statement didn’t match the expense statement. But I am sure you mean ‘with cash’. It used to be standard for a taxi driver to give you a blank receipt. I still filled it out properly. I believe my employer compensates me properly (mainly because I make sure my boss knows exactly how and how much money I save them every year) so I don’t believe I need to skim a few extra dollars.

#2 – Probably not but truth to tell I probably wouldn’t even notice.

Andy Lischett - #1 - No.

#2 - Yes.

Jack McHugh - #1 - Yes, I have to add in the tip.

#2 –Yes, I do, I might want to bring them back so I don't want a hassle.

Rick Desper - #1 - I've had this happen before and I've just taken the blank receipt rather than discuss ethics with a cab driver. That doesn't mean I'm going to claim $50 for a $20 ride.

#2 - I'm pretty sure I've seen this one before, in a different context. Generally speaking, I don't correct billing mistakes that are in my favor, unless they are so egregious that the server is going to get in trouble.

Phil Murphy - #1 - No. Partly because I'd like to think I'm more honest than that, and partly because I'm fairly sure the boss would figure out what happened.

#2 –No. It's up to the shopkeep to make sure they're doing it right. If they made a mistake that is their fault. I will pay what I'm asked to pay.

Richard Weiss - #1 - No, been there many times, prefer amount. Plus, doesn't matter. If someone is reimbursing me, I'm not going to commit fraud and up the amount.

#2 - No, I accept stupidity, acts of malfeasance, and lucky breaks.

Don Williams - #1 - Nope.

#2 - Yes. I do this fairly often, usually at restaurants. I also point it out when being overcharged.

Andy York - #1 - No, and if he did, I'd just note the amount the trip actually cost.

#2 - Yes, and have done so a number of times in similar situations (groceries, etc)

Heather Taylor - #1 – No, that’s theft.

#2 – Yes, I’ve encountered this situation before and I did ask if there was a mistake.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: This month both questions come from Andy Lischett: #1 - You stop at McDonalds's for lunch and call a co-worker to see if he wants you to bring him something. You occasionally do this, as does he, and you don't "bill" him for his #1 Value Meal. While he is drinking his Diet Coke he pulls a Scrabble tag off the cup and wins $25,000. Do you ask for half? (of the money, not the fries.) OR, if he bought the lunch and your Coke was worth $25,000 do you give him half? #2 - Not really a dilemma, but an opinion. Carol volunteers at the Chicago Botanic Garden (pulling weeds, planting flowers, etc.) which is part of the publicly owned Forest Preserve District of Cook County. (A beautiful place, by the way, full of trees, flowers, bushes, paths, bridges). Carol works specifically in the Japanese Garden, comprised of three islands designed and maintained in the style of a traditional Japanese garden. One of the islands is the Island of Eternal Happiness, which according to Japanese tradition is reserved for immortals... no humans except those maintaining it. I say it's public land with no reason to keep the public out, and Carol says that if mortals were allowed on the island it would not be a traditional Japanese garden. But what good is a traditional Japanese garden in a museum - which is basically what the place is - if nobody is ever allowed to see it?

The Dining Dead -
The Eternal Sunshine Movie Reviews

Guess what? Didn’t go to the movies….again!!!

Seen on DVD – Terminator II (B-, the special effects now look silly, but it’s still a decent action movie). Hannah and Her Sisters (B, doesn’t have the same magic for me that it did when it first came out). Death Sentence (C-, silly made-for-TV movie from the 70’s with Nick Nolte as a man wrongly accused of killing his wife. The “plot twists” are so obvious, but 35 years ago they were probably original). Eating Raoul (B+, still a very quirky and funny movie. I don’t know if people would enjoy it so much these days, but we did). The Birds (B, not Hitchcock’s best but always creepy fun.)

Meet Me In Montauk
The Eternal Sunshine Letter Column

Geoff Kemp: How did you manage to set up your Internet Radio Station as it is something I would love to do, and how long and often do you broadcast?

[[On Live365.com the stations run 24 hours a day, but you can set your schedule up to run various playlists at different times or during different days. The cost is based on how large your library of music is…in theory the amount you pay for your station covers the fees they pay to the artists and holders of the publishing rights. If I had more free time I’d vary my playlist more than I do, but it is quite large so you get a decent variety.]]

Andy York: Had a good time in Arlington the weekend of the 10th. Great stadium, good games (saw Darvish's 110 pitch-count in 104 degree weather), tasty food in the Cuervo Club and extremely friendly folks. Now, I'm torn between another September Sat/Sun game combo in Houston or in Arlington (now the minor league season is in the last few days). Maybe I'll head to one of each!

[[This has been a great season. The Rangers have overcome injuries, collapses, and the heat….now we just need to maintain focus and march into the playoffs!]]

You Don't Know Me

The Eternal Sunshine Interview

Before I move into this month’s piece, I wanted to mention that two prior interview subjects have their new CD’s coming out shortly. Rebecca Loebe’s “Circus Heart” and Grace Pettis’ “Two Birds” are both due out in September…and remember Antje Duvekot’s “New Siberia” is officially released around Labor Day (although I’ve had my copy for a while now). Check them all out…you won’t be disappointed!

So, that keeps you up to date with some of the prior Eternal Sunshine interview ~~victims~~ subjects.

This month’s interview is with yet another amazingly talented independent music artist. Shannon Wurst is someone I first learned about from 3 Penny Acre (3PA’s bass player Bernice Campbell Hembree was interviewed on these very pages a ways back). Now with her latest solo CD soon to be completed and released, I thought I’d introduce you to another of the music world’s brilliant emeralds…one you probably don’t know about yet.

What is your name: Shannon Wurst

What is your astrological sign: Sagittarius

How old are you (exact or approximate): You really ask ladies this question? Ha! I am thirty one.

What is your earliest childhood memory? Riding our Pony, Shorty

Describe your immediate family (present day): I have two brothers, a sister, and two sets of parents. They are all very supportive of my music!

What do you do for a living: Singer/Songwriter

Where were you born: My family lived in Paris, Arkansas when I was born.

What did you want to be when you were growing up: I have always wanted to be a musician.

Douglas Kent - What musical instruments do you consider yourself proficient in?

Shannon Wurst - I am first and foremost a vocalist, but I also love playing guitar. I like to dabble in other instruments while I am writing new songs since their voicing will bring out new tones in my voice.

Douglas Kent - You said you have always wanted to be a musician. Who were your early musical influences?

Shannon Wurst - My earliest musical influences were my dad, my step-dad, Alison Krauss, Bonnie Raitt and Aretha Franklin. My sister and cousin Brandi, too, since we would but on a ticketed show every weekend we were at my grandparents.

Douglas Kent - I first heard about you, and heard you perform, on 3 Penny Acre’s self-titled CD. After recording your solo CD “Sunday Pie” what drew you to participating in that band? Had you planned on that being a one-off or were you considering staying with the band at the time?

Shannon Wurst - I was drawn to 3 Penny Acre for their harmonies, songwriting, and the opportunity to creative something unique from the Ozarks. They had an existing band -not yet named 3PA- when I and one other joined the group. Together we can up with the name and started rehearsing material. I truly value my time with 3 Penny Acre and grew tremendously as an artist from playing with them. We were together for two years-and had a good thing going when I decided to challenge myself with new horizons. I certainly didn't join thinking I would move on after one album, but looking at what I have accomplished since my departure, I do not regret one thing!

Douglas Kent - How would you describe the difference between “3 Penny Acre” and the musical direction you wanted to take instead?

Shannon Wurst - The main difference between the musical direction that I wanted to take and that of 3 Penny Acre's was that I wanted to write and perform more of my original material. I felt I had a calling and in order to fill that calling, I needed to take bigger risks and perform my own material. It's too easy in a group of four songwriters to write a song every once in a while. As a solo artist I must always keep my material fresh! I love that challenge!

Douglas Kent - Can you compare and contrast the recording of “Sunday Pie” and “What’s More Honest than a Song?” Did you approach that project much differently?

Shannon Wurst - "Sunday Pie" was my first studio album, and I gathered songs to record of my closest musician friends as well as a few originals. That album features all those folks I grew up playing music with at picking parties.

With "What's More Honest Than a Song," I wrote all but two of the songs. The sound is a little more polished than "Sunday Pie." I love hearing the progression of my voice and songwriting on those two albums. On "Sunday Pie", I hear the inexperience of my voice, but some innocence in my singing too. With "What's More Honest Than a Song," you can start to really hear me finding my voice. With the upcoming release (the title will be announced the last week of August) you can hear that progression even stronger with stronger arrangements of the songs.

Douglas Kent - I’ve seen photos and announcements of you doing a number of events for children. Obviously you really enjoy those; do you make a strong connection with the youngsters? I’ve never heard your CD “Green and Growing,” is that the sort of material you generally perform? What else do you put into the set?

Shannon Wurst - I am going to highly recommend you listen to "Green and Growing" if you are looking for something light hearted, fun and easy to listen to! The songs were written for children, but certainly with parents in mind. I often will add one or two to the regular set since adults love to participate in these songs too. I love performing for children and always try to make them a part of the show since they have so much good energy to add! I also teach songwriting workshops for kids, so I will sometimes write a song on the spot as part of the children's show. Performing children's music has certainly made me a better entertainer, and I have learned from the kids to trust my own spontaneity to create memorable moments.

Douglas Kent - Let’s talk a bit about your writing process. Most performers I’ve interviewed have a particular method for writing, and many of them can’t imagine that everyone doesn’t do it that way. Do you start with music, lyrics, both, or do you have an idea in your head about something and it just grows?

Shannon Wurst - I usually start writing songs with a lyric or subject in mind and I will brainstorm for a bit. I will then free write about the subject before putting it into line form or maybe a rhyme scheme. Lastly, I speak the words out loud to see if there is an obvious melody to the words. After sleeping on it for a night or two, I might come back and consider phrasing and chord substitutions. Next, I try to sing it to trusted friends and see if they "get it" and go back to the drawing board when necessary.

Douglas Kent - How personal do you think you get in your songs? Do you have trouble being completely open or do you try to obfuscate the subject a bit if it is too close to home? I always enjoyed John Lennon’s Norwegian Wood, for example, but so many people don’t realize it’s just a song about a one-night stand he had on the road.

Shannon Wurst - I feel that I get pretty personal in my songs. If it starts to feel too personal, I might try to write in third person, or change the story a bit so that I can really dive into what I am feeling. However, I also love to write about history and other people's stories so that it's not about me all the time.

Douglas Kent - For your new CD “Lionheart”, you used Kickstarter. Was that the first time you funded a project that way? How would you describe the experience?

Shannon Wurst - Although I have used my own website to pre-order past albums, this is the first time I have used Kickstarter. Because of this fundraising method, there are so many individuals that are really at the heart of my latest project. For me, I was able to create a great album. For backers, they have a since of ownership in the project. I think it is win-win for everyone.

Douglas Kent - Why Montana? What drew you up there to record, and had you been there before?

Shannon Wurst - I knew I wanted Connor Garvey to produce this album. When we were bouncing studio ideas around, he suggested Basecamp in Bozeman, Montana since he had recorded an album there. I am very happy with our decision. The idea of being totally away from normal life and letting myself completely focus on one thing was appealing. Chris Cunningham was the other draw. Not only was he a great engineer, but he certainly added his talents on harmonies and instrumentation. I highly recommend him and tell him I sent you!

Douglas Kent - Is there a particular kind of project – an utterly different direction, unexpected cover songs, a full orchestra, anything – that you keep in the back of your mind as something to do someday, even if it isn’t something you think you’ll ever get around to?

Shannon Wurst - I am always full of ideas and I keep about ten projects in the cue, waiting for the right time for each one. It is my intention to keep growing as an artist, and that means experimenting with sounds, ideas, collaborations, and projects. So, yes, I plan to keep folks on the edge of their seats.

Douglas Kent - What part of the touring process for an independent artist do you think most people would find most surprising?

Shannon Wurst - Maybe you will find it surprising, or maybe not, that I have put 15,000 miles on my van in the last four months. I think most people don't realize how much time many independent musicians spend updating online calendars, booking show, creating new material, learning new chords, posting to social media, answering fan emails, figuring out routing, finding a place to sleep for the night, scheduling band practice, and managing to stay connected with family and friends. Most musicians I know are juggling many many balls. And to top it all off, their work relies on wearing their heart on their sleeve.

Douglas Kent - Which do you prefer, supremely intimate house concerts, or public venues?

Shannon Wurst - I have to say I love both house concerts and public venues. I love house concerts because I often get to have a one on one conversation with the people in the audience. I feel like I get to know them, as they get to know me. However, I love venues because you don't need a personal invite to show up and there are many opportunities to collaborate with other artists in a venue setting. I am always grateful for either performance setting!

Douglas Kent - You’ve obviously performed or collaborated with a number of musicians so far. What would be your “dream list” of (living) people to collaborate with?

Shannon Wurst - I love would to collaborate with Dolly Parton, John Prine, Infamous Stringdusters, Steve Martin, James Taylor, Union Station, and Jackson Brown. I also love to work with up and coming artist since there are so many excellent talents that deserve to be heard! Despite my dream list, it doesn't get better than getting to play music with my dad or step-dad!

Douglas Kent - If you’re trying to describe your music to someone who has never heard it before, what would you say?

Shannon Wurst - I create indie folk Americana music that is inspired by the sounds of Gillian Welsh, Alison Krauss, and Dolly Parton.

Douglas Kent - Do you get a chance to listen to much music yourself? What CD’s are currently in the front of your rotation?

Shannon Wurst - Yes, I keep Pandora on while I am at my computer or when I am driving. My favorite right now is the Amos Lee station. He is just incredible to listen to and even better live!

Douglas Kent - Desert Island time...what CD’s, movies, and books would you take with you to a desert island?

Shannon Wurst - If I were planning on getting stuck on a desert island, I would bring with me:

My guitar.

Favorite CD: Cahalen Morrison and Eli West- The Holy Coming of the Storm

Movie: Coalminers Daughter

Book: The Education of Little Tree

Douglas Kent - What’s your poison?

Shannon Wurst - Sweet Iced coffee. Is this a poison? I think it is in the amount in which I would like to consume it.

Douglas Kent - Is it true that you were born in Arkansas specifically to avoid meeting and dating me (that’s the rumor anyway)?

Shannon Wurst - Possibly.

Douglas Kent - Any final words of wisdom for Eternal Sunshine readers?

Shannon Wurst - Figure out what you love to do, offer it to the world, and find a mentor that believes in you. And please check out my new album, Lionheart Love, officially coming out on January 1, 2013. Check out my blog at www.fancymayhem.tumblr.com

The Eternal Sunshine

Dead Pool

Well, the contest has reached its end…and along the way so have some of the names listed. We’ll probably do another of these in a month or two, but Jack McHugh is threatening to run one which takes age into consideration as part of a more complex scoring system. As things stand, here are the final results:

Jim Burgess, Kevin Wilson, and Dane Maslen tied with three correct choices each, and by random selection Jim “Boob” Burgess is the winner. I’ll be in touch about a choice of prizes.

If I do run another on my own in the near future, I will specifically disallow any name appearing on these lists already. You’ll have to come up with all new names.

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

WE NEED MORE PARTICIPANTS! ONLY MEANS YOU DO AN ENTRY EVERY 3 OR 4 MONTHS! IF WE DON’T GET MORE PARTICIPANTS, THIS WILL END SOON!

Chapter 14: Hamadryad by Mark Firth

Adding another fag-end to the nest slowly building around the base of the plant, her glance happened upon a pair of spiders living out a short theatre amid the foliage. Short and brutal. The larger, reddish female pinned the other with apparent precision at the junction of head and pedicel. Inferior, both in size and ostensible survival skills, her erstwhile dance partner passed almost as swiftly as the venom plundering his body.

She turned disdainfully and thought of the Woodsman.

“But wouldn’t that be cruel?”. Her seven year old eyes, already impenetrable, raised to his; incalculably older, ever calculating.

“Ah no, Hannah pet, no”.

The rabbit stumbled again, its eyes a snowy crust, the mange that now served as fur pocked with sores of varying severity.

“D’you see? Yon coney’s not fit for pot nor pat. All Nature’s folk come to their time. Sometimes it’s better to help them on their way. That’s not cruel, pet”.

She watched impassively as the rock’s descent presaged the creature’s despatch.

“Pathetic creature…”, she hissed a growl of a hiss and reached into the vivarium which occupied much of the bureau. Corn snake – that would suffice, for now at least.

Curled up in a nook of her favourite tree, an old wych-elm which stood slightly up the bank from the river, she surveyed the Woodsman at work. Several yards into the gently travelling waters, he crouched atop a pair of rocks, eyes drilling intently the silver flow. Then it came. The lunge, the deft flick, the swoop of net. Barely a hint of triumph traced those furrows. Here was man as nature; the salmon a welcome meal, neither foe nor quarry.

When she saw him here, she was almost content with his ways and truths. But still it stirred in her heart of twelve years and it would yet have its way.

Engulfing the last of the corn snake, she shifted noiselessly to the eastern window and beheld the traffic struggling in the heat below. Torpid herself now, she closed her eyes just a little while.

The rain had persisted for days and the rocks beside the river were slippery even to the Woodsman’s experienced pace. She was too tall for the wych-elm now, so held court from a nearby willow. She saw as he came up the banking, arms full of tarpaulin-housed firewood. She saw too as the lightning struck, though it took a while for those black eyes to fully understand what had happened. A great boulder had tumbled from above and skittled the Woodman in its inexorable descent.

Slinking down to his side, Hannah saw he was both trapped and broken.

“I’m done for, pet”, he gurgled. “You know what needs be done”.

She looked at the rubble strewn around, then stared impassively. After moments that might be minutes, she hissed a growling hiss, ”No, that wouldn’t be cruel. I do prefer cruel”.

Rising from his side, she turned and left, hearing but not listening.

“…There’s no place for pathos”. She viewed through slitted eyes once more and reached for another cigarette to light.

Next up – Kevin Tighe

LIFEBOAT!

A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…

This is the simple game of Lifeboat. Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not. Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure). The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard). In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over. Last one in the boat wins. I’ll probably give a prize, as usual. Press is encouraged. Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed. I just simply announce who is thrown overboard. If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue. If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad. There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to.

Currently in the lifeboat:

PRESS

Rick Desper: Commentary for people to chew on: did anybody show more interest in "a wide variety of subjects" than Henry VIII? He married several of his subjects!

Clue to Person with the Closest Guess (Notified by email): Both of us were considered brilliant, but we lived in different eras.

Deadline for Round 4 is September 25th at 7:00am My Time

AT THE BORDER CHECKPOINT

by Richard Walkerdine

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy, the checkpoint officer, stops them and tells them, “It is illegal to have five people in a Quattro. Quattro means four.”

“But Quattro is just the name of the car,” the driver replies disbelievingly. “Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five people.”

“You can’t pull that one on me,” replies Paddy. “Quattro means four . You have five people in the car so you are breaking the law.”

The driver is getting angry. “You idiot!” he shouts. “Call your supervisor over, I want to speak to someone with more intelligence.”

“Sorry,” responds Paddy, “Murphy is busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno.”

BIRTH PAIN

by Richard Walkerdine

A married couple went to the hospital to have their first baby delivered. Upon their arrival the doctor said he had developed a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it. They both said they were happy to try it.

The doctor said to the husband, “Now labour pains can be very intense, probably worse pain than you have ever experienced. So to begin with I will just set the pain transfer at 10%”.

As the birth process progressed the husband said he felt fine and asked the doctor to bump it up a notch. The doctor adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was surprised at how well he was doing. At this point they agreed to try for 50%. Amazingly the husband continued the feel perfectly okay.

Since the pain transfer was clearly helping his wife considerably the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer all the pain to him. The doctor increased the pain transfer to 100% and the husband still experienced to problems. The doctor was absolutely astounded.

In due course the wife delivered a beautiful baby with virtually no pain at all. She and her husband were ecstatic. But when they got home they found the milkman dead on the porch...

SATURDAY EVE AT THE DIPCON

by Richard Walkerdine

‘Twas Saturday eve at the Dipcon and the big game had started that day,

With all the Big Name players and some youngsters still feeling their way.

Poor Austria, a novice, was now back in the bar feeling totally shattered,

But determined to do far better next year, and that is what really mattered.

Then in 1905 a three-way stab saw France hammered into the ground,

He stared in surprise as his units went down, still certain he’d talked England round.

But with army Marseille and fleet MAO the writing was well on the wall,

And England and Italy didn’t need German help to ensure his ultimate fall.

So by 1907 there were just five left, though all four Big Names were still there,

Plus a guy called Dave who’d only played five games and never got anywhere.

He had just reached seven centres as Russia but couldn’t see what next to hit.

But unknown to him there is no trust between Big Names, no, not one little bit.

So when England suggested they ally against Germany it came as a bit of a shock,

Should he agree or should he ignore? He guessed it was time to take stock.

So he said he agreed but his next set of moves were as neutral as he could make,

But when Italy asked the same against Turkey his hands were beginning to shake.

Should I really stab two, and Big Names at that, surely it’s never been done?

Then he took a deep breath and thought, to hell. When I lose at least I’ve had fun.

But the stabs went well and in the next year both Big Names fell back in short order,

And Dave could scarce believe his eyes as his armies crossed Germanys border.

The diplomacy became almost frantic as the Big Names just fought to hang on,

But young Dave was polite but resolute as he continued to string them along.

And when Italy grabbed two Turkish centres his head was beginning to spin,

No longer with thoughts of survival but, could it be, he might actually win?

And then England stabbed Italy strongly and Dave’s head was beginning to sway.

He negotiated with both allies closely to ensure things were going his way.

The two players almost ignored him as they fought out their personal war,

While Dave was only too happy to grab every centre he saw.

By 1911 it was over and the game-board just proved it was up,

Young novice Dave had beaten the lot and of course walked off with the cup!

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jack@diplomacyworld.net

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #46

Still no job…no hope…no wife…down to one dog…no unemployment (it ran out last week)…and pretty soon I’ll be forced to go live with my mother. I hope you’re all happy living in your big houses with two cars and nannies and vacations. I hate every single one of you.

As I walked down the busy pavement with my wife, knowing I was late for church, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, ragged vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling my old priest, Father Jones, who always admonished me to "care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked, "I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying her treasured worldly possessions in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out, "Reach out, reach out and touch this person!" So I did.

I won't be at church for a few weeks.

New Fashion Rage In Police Mug Shots, These are actual Police Photos.

HELGOLAND BIGHT

By Paul Milewski

Information from my principal source, Heligoland: The True Story of German Bight and the Island that Britain Betrayed by George Drower (ISBN 0-7509-2600-7), is presented without proper literary attribution. Helgoland consists of two small islands. Area 1.7 km2 (0.66 sq mi), elevation 61 m (200 ft), population 1,131 (31 December 2011). The two islands were connected until 1720, when the natural connection was washed away in a storm. Bight is just another word for bay.

Description: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR8McLbpANTSd0irwAjCzDUDwFNNp1_MN3lw_WOJQn89dhDCfUQ_w

Between 1949 and 1956 the BBC Sea Area Forecast (Shipping Forecast) used "Heligoland" as the designation for the area now referred to as German Bight.

Description: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/75/UK_shipping_forecast_zones.png/400px-UK_shipping_forecast_zones.png

Helgoland was ceded to the British Crown in the Treaty of Kiel, signed by Britain, Sweden, and Denmark in January 1814. Prior to that, Helgoland was part of Denmark. In 1890, the British swapped sovereignty over Helgoland for Germany’s rights to Zanzibar, which joined Tanganyika to form Tanzania in 1964. At the time, German East Africa included those territories and more, but Germany lost those as a result of losing WWI. It was all a question of imperial powers dickering with each other over colonial possessions, and the people of Helgoland were not consulted when they were given over to Germany. In all fairness, a lot of territory changed hands in Europe in the 1900’s, but usually as a result of one nation defeating another nation in war. After all, those were the good old days.

ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 5 August 29, 2012

YAHTZEE AND YAHTZEE VARIANTS

Everyone is free to join now or anytime up until Round 3 Roll 3 is published. Send me an email and your orders for the Round with the first roll then shown. Eg, if it is then Round 4, Roll 1; Round 3, Roll 2; and Round 2, Roll 3 – then tell me what to keep for Round 4 Roll 1. I will randomly choose one of the players already in the game and you get his or her rolls and score for the rounds already completed or in progress.

Rules published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982. Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf

GM Musings: I’ve been spending the summer living in the southernmost town on the Oregon coast and working in the very northernmost town of the CA coast. I’ve decided that the first week of September will be my last week working here. In an attempt to convince me to stay, people have been telling me that there is no fog and overcast then and for the rest of the fall. While that is not one of the three biggest/most common lies, it is not totally true.

Based on my years living in San Francisco, I do know that fall and spring are the least foggy of all seasons. Like many things, there is a reasonable explanation that explains why and then there is a much more complex explanation. Neither of which is what I told my kids as they were growing up in SF. I told them that we made the clouds for the rest of the country and that those clouds provided the rain that made the trees green, flowers bloom, and crops grow so we could eat.

The basic explanation is that when there is a temperature differential between the coast and inland (and more so where the width of the coastal ridges is less) there is fog. Summer having the greatest differential, there is the most fog.

Living on the Pacific Coast has made this the coolest summer I’ve spent this century. I’m in the high sixties today. I was going to go to Grant’s Pass and see the caves. Inland the temperature is a whopping 106 today. I am going to pass on Grant’s Pass, even though it would be fun to go into the caves at whatever temperature they always maintain.

When one enters CA from Oregon, one passes through the “Redwood Curtain,” which one exits down past Eureka/Arcata, home of Humboldt University (founded 1913 and claims to have sent more students into the Peace Core then any other). There is one world famous product from this area. A lot of the wealth is generated by that product and helps to contribute to the wineries, restaurants, and cultural abundance. Unfortunately, unlike Ben and Jerry’s or the Budweiser Breweries, there are no tours. So, I can’t tell you much about the processing and definitely haven’t been offered any free samples.

Answer to Last Month’s Questions: Richard Nixon, 1968, Laugh-In, opening show of the second season, filmed far earlier and dubbed in, when he said, “Sock It to Me?” Apparently chief writer for Laugh In was Nixon’s best friend, knew he was in the CBS studio for an interview, they ran over, asked him, took more than a dozen takes, picked one eventually, and the network was more nervous than the Nixon Campaign over possible terrible publicity. Nixon was a hit and won the election. Appearing on comedy shows is now a staple of campaign tactics (I almost said “tricks” but that would have been too Freudian).

Game Offerings

I’ve been thinking about Yahtzee variants. I have three that I’d like to try and see if anyone enjoys them. Please let me know if you might be interested. I will run at least one next month, whether anyone indicated potential interest or not.

Yahtzee Blitz: :

A Yahtzee variant with only two turns. First turn you will see three rolls of five dice each for the first seven rounds.

Eg, Round 1, Roll 1: 55422, Roll 2: 14453, Roll 3: 11234;

Round 2, Roll 1: 44311, Roll 2: 22661, Roll 3: 66446.

You send me how to score those. Such as Round 1score as four fives in the upper section and Round 2 take as Yahtzee with the five sixes. The second turn will have the dice for the final six rounds. You send me how to score those. Highest score wins. In case of ties, ties will be awarded.

For those of you, like me, who don’t actually know how to score when you get to score multiple Yahtzees and the Yahtzee bonus: If the upper section with the appropriate number (sixes in the above example) is not yet filled in, the score is entered there. If the appropriate number in the upper section is already filled in, then one chooses whether to score as:

a) Three of a Kind, totalling all five dice

b) Four of a Kind, totalling all five dice

c) Full House for 25 points

d) Small Straight for 30 points

e) Large Straight for 40 points

f) Chance, totalling all five dice

Yahtzee Lightning:

A Yahtzee variant with two turns. Named: Yoshira.

First turn, you see five rolls for twelve rounds. You send me how to score them and your calculated score. Second turn, you see the three rolls for the final, 13^th, turn and tell me how to score them.

Yahtzee Explosion: Subnamed: This Is Not Rocket Science (only math)

Logically named: Humam Khalil Abu-Mulal al-Balawi.

In Yahtzee Lightning there is only one turn. In turn one, you see three rolls for each of the thirteen Rounds. You send me how to score them and your calculated score. Most diligent mathematician wins or ties for the win.

*Upper*	Doug Kent	Kevin Wilson	Geoff Kemp	Dane Maslen
Ace = 1	1
Twos = 2
Threes = 3
Fours = 4
Fives = 5
Sixes = 6
*Total*
Bonus +35 if >63
*Total Upper*
*Lower*
3 of a Kind
4 of a Kind
Full House = 25
Sm Straight = 30		30		30
Lg Straight = 40			40
YAHTZEE = 50
Chance
Yahtzee Bonus
*Total Lower*
GRAND TOTAL	1	30	40	30

Orders Due: 48 hours before Doug’s deadline.

Need to include: The five dice you want to keep and how to score them for Round 2, now that we’ve had the 3^rd roll. Make your best(least damaging) score and tell me where to put it. The five dice you want to keep from Round 3, Roll 2. That is out of the 2 you saved and the three new ones rolled. Which of the five die rolled for Round 4, Roll 1 you want to keep.

BOURSE

2012 USA Presidential Election Bourse: The Bain of All Bourses

All are welcome. Play is free. Press is encouraged. Email richardweiss@higherquality.com to join. Initial orders must be received by 11:59:59PM Friday 7 September 2012.

There are only a few “swing” states in the 2012 election. There are only some states that are leaning one way or the other. Many appear to be lock solid for one party or the other. To begin the Bain of All Bourses you are given 500 shares of stock in each the Democrat and Republic party in seven states. You will then have 7,000 shares of stock. Each stock is valued at $100.00. Yes, Zero Sum is giving you $700,000.00 of Bourse value, absolutely free.

The Bourse Market will be open for buying and selling five times. The five times when orders to buy and sell are consummated will be:

Friday 7 September;

Friday 21 September;

Friday 5 October;

Friday 19 October; and,

Friday 2 November.

You may sell up to 1,000 shares of stock each time the Bourse consummates orders. As a stockholder, you must sell in 100 share increments. As a stockholder, you may buy as many shares as you have money. Assume that there are unlimited shares of stock in either party in any state available for sale. You start with zero money. Your shares sold provide you with money. So, for Friday 7 September, tell me which shares to sell. Assuming you sell 10 one hundred share increments, you would get $100,000.00 to buy stocks with. All stocks start at $100; thus, you could then buy 1,000 shares.

One example would be to sell your 500 shares of Republican Stock in Donkey State and your 500 shares of Republican Stock in Red Mule State and buy 500 shares of Democrat stock in each the Donkey and Red Mule state.

After all stockholders have their orders fulfilled, the value of each stock is recalculated. Each 100 shares sold reduces the value of the stock by $1.00 (one dollar). Each one share of stock purchased, increases the value by $0.01 (one cent). That makes 100 shares purchased equal addiing $1.00 in value to the stock value. I will send emails to all players of the transactions at the Bourse and the new value of the stock. You then have until the next deadline to plot, trend, track, and submit transactions. About every other set of transactions, Eternal Sunshine (not to be confused with the Sunshine Law or the Sunshine State, and certainly not with Anita Bryant) will publish the status of the Bourse.

Because you can sell a maximum of 1,000 shares of stock for each of five Bourse rounds, you can sell all of the stock you predict of the loser in each of the seven states and also will then have the opportunity to sell other stock.

No stock will be valued less than $9.00 (nine dollars).

The seven states with Republican and Democratic stock are:

Colorado

Florida

Nevada

North Carolina

Ohio

Virgina

Wisconsin

Each stock has current Par Value of $100.00.

The winner is the person with the greatest value after the final election results are in. This means before the Electoral College but after any Supreme Court challenges. If you have Democratic Stock in Nevada and Nevada votes for (e)Mitt Romney, then your stock has no value. Only the stock of the winner of each state has value for that state.

Ties will be settled by only counting the stock value of the winning party. Which is to say, only the Democratic stock.

If this is not as clear as Mississippi mud after Isaac blows ashore, let me know. An FAQ list will be disseminated to those who inquire.

I love politics. My Father is an elected official in the State of Vermont, currently. Hooray for good genes.

Press is welcome. The more positive the more positive. SuperPAC press is not welcome (The Bourse Supreme Court varied from John-John’s Supreme Court).

Predictions/Odds on the 2016 nominees as part of the Press may be very amusing. My early candidates are relatively obvious: Jeb Bush over (e)Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Nikki Haley, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, David Petreus, John Roberts, and Chris Christie and Hillary Clinton over Andrew Cuomo, Tim Kaine, Mark Warner, Elizabeth Warner, and the field.

Peace out, bros and sis’s

Game Openings

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Dave Grabar, Steve Cooley, Hugh Polley, Don Williams, need three more to fill.

Gunboat Diplomacy (Black Press): Seven spots open, sign up.

Balkan Wars VI (Unknown Press Level): To be Guest GM’d by Brad Wilson: Signed up: Doug Kent (that’s me folks), Jack McHugh, Lance Anderson, Brendan Whyte, Jim Burgess, needs 1 more. Contact Brad to sign up at bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com. Sign up now!!! HURRY!!!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy (Black Press): An ongoing everyone-plays variant. Rules are in ES #47. Join in at any time!

Yahtzee!: Richard Weiss is running a game of Yahtzee! in his subzine Zero Sum, returning from a decades (?) long absence. Join in now!

By Popular Demand: Back to the normal format. Join anytime.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Quiz: New game begins this issue. Join anytime.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!

Kremlin: House rules in ES #59. I’d like to get five players for this, any takers? Jack McHugh, Rick Desper, Jim Burgess, Mark Firth, will start next issue, last chance to sign up!

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Eternal Sunshine Game Section

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 19

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): Retreat A Norway – Sweden, A Serbia - Trieste..Remove A Venice..Has F Adriatic Sea, A Belgium, F Brest, A Budapest, A Burgundy, A Denmark,

A Finland, A Gascony, A Holland, A Picardy, A Piedmont, A Rumania, A St Petersburg, A Sweden, A Trieste,

A Warsaw.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): Has A London, F North Sea, A Wales.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Build A Ankara..Has A Ankara, F Black Sea, A Bulgaria,

F English Channel, F Greece, F Ionian Sea, F Marseilles, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Moscow, F Naples, A Norway,

F Rome, A Serbia, A Sevastopol, F Spain(sc).

S 20 Deadline is September 25th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

None. You guys suck.

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: Holds.

Smaug the Dragon: Nothing.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Pounds. Buys 960 Piastres.

Baron Wuffet: Pfft.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 Pounds. Buys 360 Crowns.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Crowns. Buys 694 Pounds.

Insider Trading LLC: PPhpht…

Bourse Master: Whatever

PRESS

Me to GM: Getting kinda dicy. Too late to change tactics........

Next Bourse Deadline is September 24^th at 7:00pm my time

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, W 17/S 18

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Adriatic Sea – Albania,

A Budapest - Vienna (*Bounce*), A Trieste - Vienna (*Bounce*).

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): Build F Liverpool, A London.. F Belgium Hold,

F Bulgaria(sc) - Constantinople (*Fails*), F Greece - Aegean Sea, F Ionian Sea Supports F Greece - Aegean Sea,
F Liverpool - Irish Sea, A London – Wales, A Moscow Hold, F Norway Hold, A Paris Hold,

A Picardy Supports F Belgium, F Spain(sc) Hold, A St Petersburg Supports A Moscow, F Tyrrhenian Sea – Naples,

A Yorkshire Hold.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): A Burgundy Supports A Marseilles, F Denmark Hold,

A Galicia Supports A Rumania, F Holland Hold, A Marseilles Supports A Burgundy, A Rome Supports A Venice,

A Rumania Supports F Bulgaria(sc) (*Ordered to Move*), A Serbia Supports F Bulgaria(sc) (*Ordered to Move*),

A Sevastopol - Armenia (*Fails*), F Sweden Hold, A Ukraine - Sevastopol (*Bounce*),

A Venice Supports A Rome, A Warsaw Hold.

Russia (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): ~~F Aegean Sea - Greece~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Eastern

Mediterranean or Smyrna), A Armenia - Sevastopol (*Bounce*), F Constantinople - Bulgaria(sc) (*Fails*).

Concession to Germany Fails.

Now Proposed – E/G, Concession to Russia. Please vote, NVR=No.

F 18 Deadline is September 25th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

AUSTRIA to ANON: Pustules, even festering pustules, aren’t really red … they’re white … know thyself, anon and anon …

AUSTRIA to RUSSIA: Not with a bang, but a … fart? You are so poetical!

AUSTRIA to E/G STRINGPULLERS: Any time, blokes … I’m voting yes to any draw put forth. Indiscriminantly.

Ekaterinburg (Apr 1, 1918): Czar Ivan VII swore to his subjects, `` Russia has not been defeated, will never be defeated. We will defeat the invaders from our remote wilderness fortresses in the Urals and beyond in Siberia. From here my subjects will strike the western Imperialist enemies - the horrible Hun and their lackey Limeys.``

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, W 09/S 10

Austria (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): A Bohemia Supports A Munich,

A Finland - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Livonia - St Petersburg (*Fails*), A Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*),

A Prussia Hold, A Silesia Supports A Berlin, A Tyrolia - Piedmont (*Fails*),

A Venice Supports A Tyrolia - Piedmont (*Fails*), A Warsaw - Moscow.

England (Kevin Tighe – tigheman “of” yahoo.com): Build F London.. F Baltic Sea - Sweden (*Bounce*),

F Helgoland Bight Supports F Kiel, F Holland Supports F Kiel, F Kiel Hold, F London - English Channel,

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean, F North Africa Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean – Western

Mediterranean, F Norway Supports F St Petersburg(nc), F St Petersburg(nc) Hold.

France (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): Retreat A Piedmont - Marseilles..

A Brest – Gascony, A Burgundy - Munich (*Fails*), ~~F Gulf of Lyon Supports A Marseilles – Piedmont~~

(*Disbanded*), A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Fails*), A Ruhr Supports A Burgundy – Munich,

F Spain(sc) Supports F Gulf of Lyon.

Germany (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Berlin Supports A Munich,

A Munich Supports A Berlin (*Cut*).

Turkey (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): Build A Smyrna..

F Aegean Sea Convoys A Smyrna – Tunis, F Ionian Sea Convoys A Smyrna – Tunis, F Naples – Rome,

A Rome – Apulia, A Smyrna – Tunis, F Tuscany Supports F Western Mediterranean - Gulf of Lyon,

F Tyrrhenian Sea Supports F Western Mediterranean - Gulf of Lyon, F Western Mediterranean - Gulf of Lyon.

A/E Draw Fails

Now Proposed – A/E/T, A/E/F/G/T, A/E/F/T. Please vote, NVR=No.

F 10 Deadline is September 25th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Cop-Vienna: Long haul baby!

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, F 10

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Brad Wilson): A Berlin – Kiel, A Bohemia Supports A Tyrolia – Munich,

A Budapest Supports A Galicia – Rumania, F Eastern Mediterranean Hold, A Galicia – Rumania,

A Greece - Constantinople (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea - Tyrrhenian Sea, A Piedmont – Marseilles,

A Serbia – Bulgaria, F Syria - Smyrna (*Bounce*), A Trieste – Albania, A Tunis - North Africa,

A Tuscany – Piedmont, A Tyrolia - Munich.

England (Tom Howell): F Barents Sea - St Petersburg(nc) (*Bounce*), A Belgium – Holland,

F Clyde - North Atlantic Ocean, F North Sea Supports A Belgium – Holland, F Norwegian Sea – Norway,

F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Fails*).

France (Dave McCrumb): ~~A Holland - Belgium~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to Ruhr or OTB), A Munich – Burgundy,

F Spain(sc) - Portugal (*Fails*).

Russia (John Biehl): A Livonia – Warsaw, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Bounce*), F Sevastopol - Black Sea,

A Ukraine - Sevastopol.

Turkey (Italy Must Win): F Aegean Sea - Smyrna (*Bounce*), F Armenia - Ankara.

W 10/S 11 Deadline is September 25^th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Greece, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples, Rome, Rumania,

Serbia, Smyrna, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna=16, Build 2

England: Belgium, Brest, Denmark, Edinburgh, Holland, Liverpool, London, Norway,

Paris, Portugal=10, Build 4 (Room for 3)

France: Spain, Sweden=2, Even or Remove 1

Russia: Moscow, Sevastopol, St Petersburg, Warsaw=4, Even

Turkey: Ankara, Constantinople=2, Even

PRESS

Vienna: A minor setback.

Belgium: We hate beer! We want vodka!!!

Hapsburgs - Turkey: You're a day late! The sixty-four dollar question: Are you also a dollar short?

World to other players: Someone find a pillow and stifle that Italian ghost.

Italy Must Win #2 to All: Come on, let’s end this. This best country is already out so what is the point of continuing.

Anon: Dear players, please don't try to make this game last forever.

ITALY MUST WIN to ALL: Yes, yes, game goes on forever, then Italy can be conceded to.

ITALY MUST WIN says AUSTRIA MUST DIE

Austria Must Not Win: `` Oooo, yah! ``

Austria Must Not Win: `` Mein Kaiser, I haf ordered ein Strategik Retreet to confound Der Enemies who art all zurroundink us.``

(Anon): You really are all deranged (except me, of course.......).

Black Press Gunboat, “Streets of Soho,” 2011Arb32, End Game

Austria (David Latimer):I think I was rather fortunate that there was no organized opposition when I took the lead. Nice to win as Austria! Thanks goes to Doug for running the games (doffs hat!) Toodle pip (as I don't say).

Marc Ellinger (England):Well, what a game. It seemed that France and I could never get a message of coordination across until it was too late. That made me have to go for an English solo (a difficult proposition in Gunboat, I think). Austria just rolled along and picked up territory after territory.

The Russian and German rearguard actions really held me up, while Austria was able to pick up the underbelly moves. In hindsight, I should have sent more armies earlier, but due to the French fight, I over-focused on fleets.

Congratulations to Austria (whomever you are!!)

Don Williams (Italy):The only thing worse than playing Italy is playing gunboat and playing , and the only thing worse than that is playing Italy, and the only thing worse than playing Italy and playing it poorly in a gunboat game is NMRing at least twice during the game. How’s that for an endgame statement? Need any more clues as to how bad I sucked?

Seriously, I apologize for how badly I stank up the place and ask forgiveness from all. That said …

My heartfelt congrats to Austria – you did a great job of taking advantage of that internal position and superior tactics against at least this opponent. My apologies to France, on the other hand, for needlessly ruining your game.

It was my intent to hit France quickly, taking advantage of probable 2-on-1 scenarios in both the east and west. I made some nice early inroads, then completely screwed the pooch on a critical turn that would have netted a critical French dot or two, giving me more security on the A/I border. Once I NMRed once, then twice, I knew the other players would think me a flake and make me pay. Nothing like shooting yourself in the foot and then following up with another to the head.

Good job to England as well, and to all who played this out to the bitter bitter. To our esteemed GM … another impeccably run game and, though we’ve come to expect excellence from you, we still appreciate the time, effort and commitment it takes to achieve that excellence. Thanks Doug.

Let’s do it again.

Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” – 2011A – F 05

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Serbia Supports A Galicia - Rumania.

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): A Clyde - Liverpool (*Bounce*),

F Liverpool - Wales (*Bounce*), ~~F London - Wales~~ (*Dislodged*, retreat to North Sea or OTB).

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” gmail.com): Retreat A Holland - Belgium..

A Belgium - Holland (*Fails*), A Burgundy Supports A Ruhr – Munich,

F English Channel Supports F Yorkshire – London, F Marseilles – Piedmont,

F North Atlantic Ocean - Liverpool (*Bounce*), A Ruhr - Munich (*Fails*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples.

Germany (Brad Wilson – bwdolphin146 “of” yahoo.com): F Helgoland Bight Supports A Holland,

A Holland Hold, A Munich Supports A Tyrolia (*Cut*), F Norwegian Sea - Norway (*Bounce*).

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A Budapest Supports A Galicia – Rumania,

F Bulgaria(sc) Supports F Greece (*Cut*), A Galicia - Rumania (*Fails*), F Greece Supports F Bulgaria(sc),

F Tunis Hold, A Tyrolia Supports A Munich, A Venice – Rome, A Vienna - Galicia (*Fails*).

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): Retreat A Bulgaria - Constantinople..

F Aegean Sea Convoys A Smyrna – Apulia, F Black Sea Supports A Constantinople – Bulgaria,

A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea Convoys A Smyrna – Apulia, F North Sea – Denmark,

A Rumania - Galicia (*Fails*), A Smyrna – Apulia, A St Petersburg - Norway (*Bounce*),

A Ukraine Supports A Rumania – Galicia, A Warsaw Supports A Rumania – Galicia, F Yorkshire - London.

W 05/S 06 Deadline is September 25^th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Serbia=1, Even

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool=2, Even or Remove 1

France: Belgium, Brest, Marseilles, Naples, Paris, Portugal, Spain=7, Even

Germany: Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Munich=4, Even

Italy: Budapest, Bulgaria, Greece, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna=8, Even

Russia: Ankara, Constantinople, Denmark, London, Moscow, Norway, Rumania,

Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Sweden, Warsaw=12, Build 1

PRESS

Berlin-Moscow: Just one little dot ...

AUSTRIA to GERMANY: “Nice Melinda”? Really? Are you perhaps playing the Oxymoron Game?

AUSTRIA to EUROPE: Who wants to get filked next?

Army unit in Smyrna: As Freddie Mercury sang - "I want to break free"

Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012A, W 01

Seasons Separated by Player Request

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Build A Budapest, A Trieste.. Has A Budapest,

F Greece, A Serbia, A Trieste, A Vienna.

England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): Build F London, F Edinburgh.. Has A Denmark, F Edinburgh,

F London, F North Sea, F Norway.

France (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Build F Brest, A Paris.. Has F Brest, A Burgundy,

A Paris, F Portugal, A Spain.

Germany (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build A Berlin, A Munich.. Has F Belgium, A Berlin,

A Holland, A Munich, A Ruhr.

Italy (Mark Firth - mark.firth “of” bluefingroup.co.uk): Build F Naples.. Has A Apulia, F Naples, F Tunis,

A Venice.

Russia (Richard Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): Build A St Petersburg.. Has A Galicia,

F Sevastopol, A St Petersburg, F Sweden, A Ukraine.

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): Build F Smyrna.. Has A Armenia, F Black Sea, A Bulgaria,

F Smyrna.

S 02 Deadline now is September 25th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

BOOB to JERUSALEMITES: I think I'll wait for a response to my first barrage before launching more. But....

BOOB to DON: Yes, that's right, THAT Japanese chef.

Richard to Boob: What??? Russia would be out of the game after one year. U Crazy. The Ghods R Crazy! Hope Chicago, Chicago, was won-der-fullllll.

Russian to The Known Pissant: Go pester some other elephant. U Ain't no king of no jungle.

Ducky: Masterful silence.

Sweet Caroline: Mr. James says howdy. Come on over to Nashville and we won't worry no more.

DRESDEN DAILY POST – Sources deep inside the Reichstag continue to deny reports of alleged Ponzi schemes being run out of a Munich beer hall. Said the inflamed mayor of Munich, Totenschnell Burgess, “That’s insane. No good German would ever be caught dead defiling a perfectly good beer hall with such chicanery. This is clearly propaganda from the perfidious Gaul! Why, witness it’s very source: “Channel 17” indeed! This is clearly a thinly veiled deceit for that branded French chemical warfare giant, Chanel No. 5. Those French think they are so very clever running around with those berets and baguettes! Hah! Further, no good German would lower himself to run a pyramid scheme named for a – GASP! -- Italian financier. Face it, after wine, women, song and Machiavelli, nothing good has ever come out of that neanderthalic country.”

GERMANY to FRANCE: Sorry about not writing. No doubt I was inundated reading all those great negotiations from you. And another thing, where do you get off calling me a “Hobby legend”? The only thing legendary about me is my penchant for making Brad Wilson look rock solid when it comes to getting moves in on time. I’ve been called DonNMR by better than the likes of you. Just ask Mark “Flash” Fassio. (Talk about legends.) I warn you, next time you deign to smear me with “Hobby legend” epithets, I will go Bob Olsen on your froggy ass …

DUCK to FROG: In all seriousness, I’ll do better.

SARA to TSARINA KATERINA: Read your book! Saw your movie! Loved ‘em! Kiss-kiss! Smooch-smooch! (The horse thing was a little undainty, but definitely put a little kinky-poo in the saddle.) About the religion thing, Darling Kat, it’s a smashing not-bad idea. What say you and I fan the flames of religious male fervor a bit and show these boys how to stoke the flames of desire Hell? Are you up for a crusade, sweetness? I’m sure your infidel fans in Turkey would love to hear of the Second Coming during the conversion. If it was good enough for Joan, it’ll be good enough for me! Let’s Twitter our way to rapture!

SARA REICHERT to BOOB “NOOSE NECK” BURGESS: I’ll be seeing you soon. Preferably at the end of a rope. Just because you know your way around the back alleys of Orange County doesn’t mean I have to take you seriously. Again.

DEUTSCHLAND to WORLD: What the fritz is a “united nations”? Sounds like another Limey football club.

SARA to DEUTSCHLAND: Hmm, and I thought “man dates” are what you went on when your wife wasn’t around. You really think Boob keeps secrets? I don’t even need a pillow to get that man to talk.

SISTER SARA to BROTHER BOOB: And quit using “Don” and “entice me” in the same sentence. It’s just … icky.

SARA to MISS KITTY: Will you join me and Tsarina Kat in using a little whipping on these boys to light ‘em up? You know how they love to wail. Those “Y”-chromosomes just can’t help themselves.

DON to MELINDA: I’m all for beating the $#!% out of Mr. DW ANAL ETC. You?

KRIEGSMARINE to ROYAL NAVY: You sure this is how Nelson did it? It’s a long long way since Trafalgar. Bloody rum go, wot?

WILLIAMS to KEMP: I agree, we should start talking now that the Olympics are over. I’ll go first. I strongly suggest you avoid attacking Russia at all costs. He’s a seriously psychotic player who can’t be trusted once he goes off his meds … so you know, “Richard Weiss” is really the alter ego of Brad Wilson. Brad is the normal one, Richard is the … other one. (Can you say Jeckle and Hyde?)

GERMANY to OSTERREICH: Congrats on your recent 20-center gunboat win in these pages! Wouldn’t want to draw too much OVERT attention on your RECENT 20 CENTER win, but thought I’d say you wiped the board quite nicely there without ever writing a word!

GERMANY to FRANCE: See? It could work without us ever sending each other a single email.

MUNICH to LIVERPOOL: You do realize that I still intend to snarf and snort when Graustark 2006A ends, right?

JERUSALEM to PROVIDENCE: Well then , be enticed. Let us know when you intend to stop writing drivel and start writing press.

SARA to JER: Well said, honey. I like your sass. Haven’t I met you somewhere before?

SOCRATES THE DUCK to JERUSALEM: Don’t answer that, pal. It’ll only go downhill with that broad. Hey, anyone got a light? My stogie’s cold again.

By Popular Demand

Credit goes to Ryk Downes, I believe, for inventing this. The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Note – This is the regular By Popular Demand, not the By ALMOST popular demand we did last time.

Round 5 Categories

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	68	1.5%
ALM - Hank Alme	12	20.0%
AMB - Amber Smith	24	-20.0%
AND - Lance Anderson	23	-20.7%
BAB - Chris Babcock	2	-33.3%
BIE - John Biehl	89	2.3%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	80	2.6%
BWD - Brad Wilson	84	2.4%
CAK - Andy Lischett	81	2.5%
CAL - Cal White	1	-50.0%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	0.01	0.0%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	84	2.4%
CKY - Carol Kay	15	7.1%
DAN - Dane Maslen	82	2.5%
DBG - David Burgess	0.01	0.0%
DGR - David Grabar	50	0.0%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	77	2.7%
DUK - Don Williams	63	3.3%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	75	1.4%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	0.01	0.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	75	1.4%
GRA - Graham Wilson	0.01	-99.0%
HAP - Hugh Polley	37	2.8%
HDT - Heather Taylor	79	2.6%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	76	2.7%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	77	1.3%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	78	2.6%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	72	2.9%
LAT - David Latimer	76	1.3%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	15	-25.0%
MCC - David McCrumb	73	2.8%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	70	-6.7%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	77	2.7%
OTS - Tom Howell	75	2.7%
PER - Per Westling	72	2.9%
PJM - Phil Murphy	28	12.0%
QUI - Michael Quirk	3	-40.0%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	58	1.8%
RDP - Rick Desper	79	3.9%
REB - Melinda Holley	85	2.4%
RED - Paraic Reddington	87	2.4%
RWE - Richard Weiss	80	6.7%
SAK - Jack McHugh	121	3.4%
TAP - Jim Burgess	94	1.1%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	0.01	0.0%
WAY - W. Andrew York	80	2.6%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	141	3.7%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%
YLP - Paul Milewski	92	4.5%