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March 2013

By Douglas Kent 911 Irene Drive, Mesquite, TX 75149

Email: diplomacyworld@yahoo.com or dougray30@yahoo.com

On the web at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com – or go directly to the Diplomacy section at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/. Also be sure to visit the official Diplomacy World website which can be found at http://www.diplomacyworld.net.

All Eternal Sunshine readers are encouraged to join the free Eternal Sunshine Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/eternal_sunshine_diplomacy/ to stay up-to-date on any subzine news or errata. We also have our own Eternal Sunshine Twitter feed at http://www.twitter.com/EternalSunshDip, and a Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=112223650909

Check out my new Internet radio station, “Music You Should Know,” at www.live365.com/stations/musicyoushouldknow

Quote Of The Month – “It's goddamn freezing on this beach. Montauk in February, brilliant, Joel.” (Joel in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”)

Welcome to Eternal Sunshine, the only Diplomacy zine published by the person who is compiling the Postal Diplomacy Zine Archives.. Yeah, I’ve started doing some more work on the Archives recently, posting more zines. The time period I am really short on is the late 80’s and 90’s, as my collection of zines from that period were destroyed in a flood (including almost every issue of Maniac’s Paradise I had). If you’d like to see some of the old zines I’ve scanned and posted, you can find the archive at http://www.whiningkentpigs.com/DW/ (along with other Diplomacy material). You can also stay notified of what zines I scan and add to the online archives by joining the PDZA’s Yahoo group at http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/postalzine/ or the Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/192335652770/. Admittedly, my sudden burst of posting zines could quickly slow down, but as long as I continue to make progress a bit at a time that’s SOMETHING. Eventually I plan on starting a zine which talks about some of the material in the archives, but I figure I’m better off doing more work getting through the scan/post process before I distract myself.

Check out the Game Openings section…Woolworth starts this issue (if you want to be a standby player for that please let me know), and I now have Youngstown IV posted as an official opening too. At least one player has expressed an interest in 1898, so I may add that too. I enjoy getting a few variants running; nothing against standard Diplomacy, but the variety is of interest to me. I especially enjoy games that don’t have TOO many confusing rule changes (Deviant Dip II being the obvious exception).

Work isn’t the greatest lately, but at the moment it is more the state of the business than being horrendously overworked. But more tasks will likely be added to my list as the firm looks to shave headcount a bit more. I’m just happy to have a job.

Sorry that I haven’t done an interview in a while. I have some people who’ve agreed to be tormented by my stupid questions, but I just didn’t follow through this month. Perhaps next issue will be a bit different. Anyway, if you want to know what IS in this issue, you’ll just have to read it. I’m not telling you anything else.

Wow, 74 issues….that’s more than 6 years. Maniac’s Paradise only made it to about #120 or so. Will this zine go longer? Time will tell. The world of pdf zines, no postage costs, no photocopying and envelope stuffing…those all make things easier. See you in April!

Playlist: New CD’s by 3 Penny Acre and Raina Rose are bound to make this list in the coming weeks, once they are released. In the meantime…He Ain’t No Good – Locust Honey String Band; Mountain Road – Liz Berube; Reunion – Rebecca Folsom; Girls Like Us – Rhythm Angels.

Last month, we gave you these hypothetical questions or situations: (from Andy Lischett) #1. You install central air conditioning for a living. One early summer day while visiting your cousin at his un-air conditioned home you admire a motorcycle which he no longer uses. He says that he really ought to get rid of it. You ask how much he wants for the motorcycle and he says that he doesn't know because it is an older bike and an unusual model and difficult to value. Then he suggests that you install central air in his house and take the motorcycle and you'll worry about any difference later.

You privately figure that any difference would be owed to you because a complete AC system installed is worth more than the motorcycle, but you'll "eat" the difference because he's your cousin and friend and your only cost would be a weekend's labor and about $500 for the equipment. So you agree.

The next weekend you install the AC and take the motorcycle home and everyone is happy all summer long.

Sometime later you see your cousin and ask how the AC worked over the hot summer. Great! Then, to be polite, you foolishly ask if you owe him anything more for the motorcycle and he says $600.

You are stunned. He's your friend and cousin and you don't want to lose a friend or cause a family stink, but you know that any HVAC company would have charged him at least $1800 and that the motorcycle is probably worth between $700 and $1400.

What do you do?

#2. Several years ago Carol told her friends Linda and Wayne L.,who she worked with, that she was going to trade in her 5-year-old Honda CRV on a new Honda Pilot. They asked her to wait a while because they needed a good used car for their daughter, and the next day they offered her $15,000 although they'd never looked at the car. Carol agreed and then went and bought her new car.

Before they'd paid and picked up the CRV and after Carol bought the Pilot with no trade-in, Wayne asked if he could take the CRV to CarMax to get it evaluated (thus cheating CarMax of their inspection services because nobody had any intention of selling them the car, but that's a different hypothetical). Carol agreed, and she and Wayne took the car to CarMax, who said that the CRV was in excellent condition and offered Carol $14,000.

She declined, and she and Wayne drove back to his house where Linda and Wayne offered Carol $14,000 because that's what CarMax said it was worth.

In Carol's shoes, what would you do?

Heather Taylor - #1 – Explain to him how much he would have spent if an HVAC company would have done it and that you spent 500.00 for the equipment and then you did the work so we should be even and I do not owe any money to him. I would also say that I was only asking to be polite-I didn't really think he would say I owe him any money.

#2 – Explain to my friends that they offered me 15,000 and that is what was originally agreed upon. Car Max offered me 14,000 but that is what they would pay me and not what they would sell my car for when they turn around and sell it. So really my friends are getting a good deal-and if they are only going to pay the 14,000 then I would rather sell it to a dealership so I don't have to have the hassle of someone I know buying the car and if things go wrong in the future on it then I am sure to hear about it---which is why I would never sell a car to someone I know in real life.

Melinda Holley - #1 - I tell my cousin I need to see about raising the money & will get back to him. I then go research the hell out of this motorcycle to see what it's actually worth. Then I go back to my cousin & tell him I can only pay him the actual amount between the difference of the A/C & the motorcycle (assuming it's less than $800). If it's more than $800 I pay the $800.

#2 - I'd take the $14000. Am I going to be stupid enough to lose the deal over a grand? No.

Richard Weiss - #1 –Motorcycle and HVAC: I didn’t ever state a value for installing the central air. This hypothetical question seems to presume that I told him a value and that “any difference” only goes one way – his. He says I owe $600. I’d tell him the value of the installation. I wouldn’t value the installation based on what other companies would pay but on the cost plus my labor. I would go first to be open. He is my cousin. We do have a relationship. I’d ask him what the bike was worth. Then, if I felt the value was highly unusual, ask him the basis for his valuation. Maybe we’d go look on the internet. Maybe the bike is very unusual and worth $2,700 and he valued the installation at $2,100. I won’t know without discussing – increasing our pool of information.

#2 - In Carol's shoes, I’d feel unusual, not used to high, spiked heels. Probably I kick them off then tell them that they offered $15,000 and that CarMax had offered me $14,000. They would have to pay CarMax more than $14,000. The value of my car might be more than the agreed on price of $15,000 but I’d sell it at the agreed upon price. I’d add that they knew I took great cars, had loved the car, and tell them the name I had for the car. If they negotiated after that, I’d tell them the haggling was affecting my appreciation of them. See what they did and said then.

Andy Lischett - #1 - I paid the $600 without complaining. Rather than figuring that the motorcycle cost me $2400 ($1800 in equipment and services plus $600 in cash), I figure it at $1100 ($500 for equipment and $600 in cash) because if my cousin had bought his own equipment and asked me to help him install it I would have agreed for the price of a few cans of Dr. Pepper. Even $1100 was probably too much, but I still have the bike and enjoy it.

#2 - Carol kept her mouth shut and took the $14,000 because she had to go back to work with Linda and Wayne on the following Monday, but she never trusted them again. To make it worse, a month later Linda and Wayne's daughter totaled the car and they told Carol that the insurance company gave them $15,000.

Being mostly a wuss, I might have done the same as Carol, but maybe not. I like to think that I would have said, "I'll let you know in a few days. Maybe CarMax will raise their offer."

Robin ap Cynan - #1 - Start negotiating- remind the cousin that $600 of bike looks an OK swap for a free good quality HVAC where the parts alone cost me $500- fair's fair would be each walks away and keeps what he has- a free bike, a free HVAC.

#2 - Depends whether or not I need the extra $1,000, or else can afford to gift Wayne the money, and like their daughter. If I can afford it and I like their daughter, I'll take $14k from them for my old car; if I decide I don't now like them or their daughter very much then the deal's off, CarMax get it for $14k instead. It's a shame Wayne couldn't stop himself from looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Andy York - #1 - Considering this would never happen (I'm not mechanical enough to install central air and I won't ever use a motorcycle), I'd have settled on a price before sealing the deal. Or, more likely if (as

indicated) I was going to "eat" the perceived price difference would have agreed on a one-for-one trade (I'll take the cycle and you'll get central AC).

All the improbabilities aside, if that was the agreement I'd stick by it, though I'd likely ask him how he determined the balance due (from the narrative, it appears you never told him how much the AC install would cost).

#2 - First off, I likley wouldn't let anyone make an offer on something from me sight-unseen unless I'd previously advertised I was selling it for $XXX (my estimate of the value) and their offer was that or less. Secondly, selling/trading cars to a dealership generally are at a lower price than those involved in a private sale (the seller gets a slightly higher price while the buyer would get a slightly lower cost than buying it from the dealer after their mark-up).

Being the person I am, I'd probably say "hey you agreed to $15k and that's what I'd planned on when I bought the Pilot. <<Make point #2 above>>. However, if you still have a problem with the $15k let's split the difference and set the price at $14.5k."

Tom Howell - #1 - Me and my big mouth... In the interests of getting all the cards on the table, I'd explain the costs of both material and labor in his new air-conditioning system, and how I arrived at the estimated range of

values for the motorcycle. Then I'd ask if, and if so, where and when, he'd gotten an estimated price for the motorcycle. I'd also tell him I'm willing to eat any difference owed to me. If he still insists I owe him, I'd try to negotiate something in the middle, but ultimately I'd give him whatever he insists on. In the interests of keeping the relationship healthy.

#2 - Offer to meet in the middle at 14,500, and work from there, as in #1.

Heath Gardner - #1 - If I'm so stunned at his answer, why did I even bother to ask if I still owed him money? Anyway... assuming I did a fully professional-quality job, I would show my friend the figures that back up the values I feel should be assigned to my work and his bike. If we can't come to an equitable solution after looking at the facts, I don't think this is a person I should be friends with.

#2 - What would I do in Carol's shoes? Not buy an SUV. But really, what the hell, sell it for its Carmax value. Sell it for $500 under the Carmax value as a show of respect to the friend. Just because they stupidly blurted out a number without looking at its actual worth doesn't mean you should take advantage of the opportunity to chisel them.

Richard Martin - #1 - pay up. it's still close enough to fair with the extra $$$

#2 - hold firm at 15k or sell it to carmax. carmax's offer to buy the car is way below what they'd be willing to sell the same car for. since linda & wayne are buying the car and not selling, what carmax is willing to buy the car from them for is irrelevant. i'm guessing that if they saw the same vehicle on the carmax lot it'd be priced at $18k or so.

Jack McHugh - #1 - First of all I wouldn't have done the work without getting the motorcycle appraised but if even if i didn't i wouldn't offer to pay another penny....and i still wouldn't now, tell this guy you don't owe him anything and you were just being polite and explain to him how he got a great deal and should be paying me.

#2 - Why did she agree to let the car be appraised if they already agreed on a price? Second, I would make them stick to the price as I bought the new car assuming I would get $15k for the car as agreed already--if they back out then take it back to the dealership.

Per Westling - #1 - I would ask him how he got that figure and then discuss it, probably trying to lower the amount.

#2 - Buying a car "as is" is a risky business so I try to stay away from making car business with friends. Would have been a more difficult case, for example, if CarMax had spotted something, a defect, that would have put the car at a much lower price. Under the circumstances I would have said No as I have already used up the money on the new car.

Rick Desper - #1 - I laugh. I'm certainly not giving the guy money. If he asks why, I'll get into the specifics and we can present each other with bills.

#2 - I would say that they are not CarMax and that they had agreed to a price. CarMax is in the business of reselling cars. They have to have a profit margin. So if you are buying directly from a seller, a) the buyer pays less and b) the seller gets more. This would be a better question if, instead of CarMax, they had looked up the blue book value of the vehicle. I'm pretty sure CarMax doesn't pay bluebook value. Anybody selling to CarMax is losing money because of the convenience of having an easy buyer.

I honestly don't think I would be in this situation in the first place.

John Biehl - #1- I'd tell the cousin that the A/C system is worth more than the Motorcycle so we're even. He's gotten the better deal so, as far as I'm concerned, I owe him nothing more.

#2 - This one is stickier cause its friends and you work together with them however ..... it's strictly money again. CarMax offers 14Gs straight up for the 5 yr old CRV so it's probably worth more since CarMax would have to sell it themselves to someone. Therefore, it seems that Linda & Wayne's offer of 15Gs was a fair deal all round and they are now being Cheapos just to shave off a thousand bucks. They risk offending Carol by doing this - I would be somewhat offended - since Carol should get as much as she can for the CRV so if I was Carol - I'd say to her friends - Thanks but I'll try to sell the CRV privately and see if I can get at least the 15Gs if not a bit more but they can still buy it at 15Gs if they wish (saving me the time & hassle to sell it to someone else).

Don Williams - #1 - Sigh … Andy, you know you shouldn’t be buying those old bikes anyway, and now someone’s petty greed is biting you unfairly on the butt. Here’s my take … we humans have a nearly infinite capacity for justifying our behaviors, especially when they wander from the good into the bad or ugly category. (An excellent read on this subject is Mistakes Were Made, But Not By Me.) This person probably seriously thinks (or has deluded himself into assuming) you knew the bike’s real value, especially if this person knows about your fascination with them. He certainly feels like the injured party. You thought you were getting it for roughly the cost of materials plus yourt labor, which he is surely discounting in his mind. He’s family so … so, you both have to give some and split the difference. And never make that kind of off-the-cuff, informal deal again.

#2 - More or less a restatement of #1. Carol’s got some friends with the ability to justify injudicious behavior towards others and so it shouldn’t really come as a surprise that they’d stiff her for a grand. I have the same response: split the difference and avoid such informal deals again. Better yet, in both questions, refrain from doing deals with family and friends AS family and friends. Put it writing, ESPECIALLY with kith and kine.

For Next Month (For the time being, I am usually selecting questions from the game “A Question of Scruples” which was published in 1984 by High Games Enterprises). Remember you can make your answers as detailed as you wish.: (from Andy Lischett again) #1 - (Based on #2 from last time) A friend agrees to buy your used car, but asks if he can first take it to CarMax for a "free" inspection. CarMax only inspects cars with the intention of perhaps offering to buy them. Do you agree to your friend's request?

#2 - You own a small HVAC company. A man plans to open a restaurant and asks for an estimate to do the HVAC work. You see that his proposed heating, air conditioning and ventilation systems are inadequate and he asks how it should be done, and you design a proper system and give him an estimate. It would be a good, profitable job.

You don't hear back from the man and several months later the restaurant opens and you stop in. The owner is not there, and you see that all of the HVAC work has been done to your specifications, by someone else. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

A year passes. The same man comes to your office and says that he is opening another restaurant and asks for a design and estimate as you did for the first. He says that he did not use you on the first job because the general contractor wanted his own crew, but he would not be bound by the general contractor on this second restaurant. Again, it would be a good job, so you draw up plans and send them along with your estimate.

You do not hear from the man, the second restaurant opens, and you see that all of the HVAC work has been done to your design.

More time passes and the same guy again appears at your office. He is planning a third restaurant and asks you to prepare a "design proposal" and estimate.

What do you do?

Didn’t see anything this month. Our terrible chest/head colds kept us away from the theater.

Seen on DVD – Bonfire of the Vanities (C+, a lot funnier back in the day…now it just reminds me what could have been). Grave Encounters (C+, good but should have cut off the last 20 minutes). The Innkeepers (C+, also not bad, but the ending was rather disappointing). House on Haunted Hill (B-, remake with Geoffrey Rush, occasional laughs and a decent homage to Vincent Price).

Richard Weiss: I'd like to add a 24th Regarding Hypotheticals…Last month, almost everyone used the male pronoun, “he” for the other person. Some used the male pronoun in one example and avoided gender identification in the other. My question to all, not hypothetical, is would identification of the gender as “she” have

made any difference? I’m particularly asking you, Heath.

Andy York: Hope all's well up in Dallas and that you're getting ready for the new baseball season! It's going to be a tough division to win in though.

[[At least we have Houston to kick around now…]]

From the Ranger's Caravan that I attended at the end of January, the team's excited. Derek Holland was especially outgoing and friendly -even did a great Harry Carey impression, Lance Berkman chatted a bit,

avoiding questions about his health, and Ron Washington was enthusiastic.

[[I’ve got my Fantasy team to focus on if the Rangers falter…]]

Andy Lischett: As I mentioned once before I think a version called By Least Popular Demand might be more fun. The object would be to pick the least popular answers which are still picked by someone else (to avoid someone picking "Buick" as "An Animal"). Scoring could be done by awarding 1 point for each match and X points for no matches, where X equals the total points of people who had at least one match, divided by the number of those people, rounded up. Low score wins.

For example, The category is "A Color."

Joe picks Red

Bob picks White

Ted picks Blue

Carol picks Blue

Alice picks Blue

Butch picks Green

Sundance picks Green

Leopold picks Green

Loeb picks Black

Donnie picks Black

Marie picks Cyril Richard

Jim ... NMRs

Ted, Carol and Alice each get 3 points

Butch, Sundance and Leopold each get 3 points

Loeb and Donnie each get 2 points

Joe, Bob, Marie and Jim each get 3 points (3+3+2=8, 8/3=2.66, rounded up to 3)

Of course, you would need a rule forbidding collaboration, or else Alice and Butch could agree on nonsense answers for every category.

I may run more examples through my scoring system and tweek it if necessary, but I want to send in my for By Almost Popular Demand now.

Per Westling: A comment on the Al Gore picture in Brain Farts that seem to indicate that Al-Jazeera is terrorists. That is of course a very strange oppinion.

There are some other that criticize the Al-Jazeera network for giving a voice to terrorists. The Al Jazeera's Washington, D.C. bureau chief, Hafez al-Mirazi compared the situation to that of the Unabomber's messages in The New York Times. The network said it had been given the tapes because it had a large Arab audience.

[[The main criticism I heard of the Al Gore sale was that this is a person who has built his reputation on global warming, and sells his business to a nation which produces fossil fuels as their source of income. It seemed quite hypocritical to some.]]

The Eternal Sunshine Football Prediction Contest

The contest was simple: you got one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (two per conference). Then you got two points for each team you correctly choose as conference championship (meaning they play in the Super Bowl), and three points for correctly picking the Super Bowl winner. Here are the picks submitted this year:

Congrats to John Biehl for his big win! I’ll be in touch about a choice of prizes! Now, go join in the ES Baseball Prediction Contest!

The Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest

Time once again for the annual Eternal Sunshine Baseball Prediction Contest. The contest is simple: you get one point for each correct division winner, and one point for correctly selecting the wild card teams (two per league). Then you get two points for each team you correctly choose as league champion (meaning they play in the World Series), and three points for correctly picking the World Series winner. We’re not picking winners for individual playoff games…just the division winners, wild card teams, and who goes to the World Series. Any commentary you want to include with your picks is welcome (and encouraged). And remember, like all Eternal Sunshine contests, there will actually be a REAL PRIZE for the winner! In fact, if we get enough entries, I’ll give one to the runner-up too. If you’ve got any questions, just ask me. So send in an entry and join in the fun! All entries will be published next issue, so get them in by the deadline! In case you need reminding (or if you are not a baseball fan and just want to see if you can guess the winners and embarrass these so-called experts), the teams are as follows:

American League East: New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays, Baltimore Orioles.

American League Central: Minnesota Twins, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Royals.

American League West: Los Angeles Angels, Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, Houston Astros, Oakland Athletics.

National League East: Philadelphia Phillies, Florida Marlins, Atlanta Braves, New York Mets, Washington Nationals.

National League Central: St. Louis Cardinals, Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers, Cincinnati Reds, Pittsburgh Pirates.

National League West: Los Angeles Dodgers, Colorado Rockies, San Francisco Giants, San Diego Padres, Arizona Diamondbacks.

Deadline for Picks: March 25^th 2013 at 7pm my time

Jack McHugh’s

Dead Pool

Here’s an update on the Dead Pool. If you find that one of those on your list has passed away, email Jack at jwmchughjr@gmail.com to let him know.

The Twisting Tale

This is a rotating story, with a different author every issue, and a chapter of 500 words. If you’d like to participate, please email me and let me know, and I’ll let you know when your turn comes up. We need more particpants! Email me at dougray30@yahoo.com if you’d like to participate!

Chapter 19 – by Douglas Kent

While James powered up the machine in his lab in London, Steven was sitting in a bar in Seattle, years earlier. He’d just pounder back his fourth shot in the past hour, trying to numb the pain in his finger. Felt like a pinched nerve, at first; then it was simply tingly and irritating. Steven imagined that this was the kind of loss of nerve ability his doctor had warned him about when he’d been diagnosed with diabetes. It was a wonder it hadn’t come on sooner. He hadn’t done anything to curb his heavy drinking, lack of exercise, or his morbid obesity. 420 pounds was beyond even what Steven has ever imagined he’d reach.

Paying his tab, Steven stumbled down the street and up the stairs to his flophouse apartment. Littered with take-out containers and wrappers from fast food restaurants, it emitted a foul and unpleasant odor which Steven no longer noticed. Once every few weeks he’s make an attempt at picking up some of the trash and throwing it away. It was this routine which convinced him that he had not yet slipped into the category of hoarders which he watched on cable. His problem wasn’t too much stuff; it was a lack of space.

Even the loneliness Steven felt had grown to be numbing and often unrecognizable. He had his comic books and his Dr. Who DVD collection to keep him company. For a moment he considered going back and watching the Tom Baker era from the start, Robot on forward, but he wasn’t in the mood. Instead he turned on his laptop and messed around on Facebook for a bit. There wasn’t much of interest there. That girl Jodie had posted another photo; he’d surely think of her tonight when he masturbated in bed. He was a realist, and never brought the level of fantasy he held for her to reality. Yes, she was a hot punk chick who always took photos in front of racks of comic books, but she was simply the fanboy wet dream…if she actually enjoyed reading comics and watching sci-fi and debating the evolution of Star Trek, she could certainly find less repulsive geeks to do it with. College age, at least. At 37, Steven was too old to fool himself that he’d be of interest to anyone but the least attractive, lest interesting, poorest people in the area. Geeze, even that chaw-filled toothless mouth of Sugar Bear on Honey Boo Boo had someone who was willing to kiss him once in a while. Steven had nobody. And since he hadn’t washed his pillowcase in months, he wasn’t about to kiss that!

At least, years ago, he’d still had his brother James. But James was better forgotten. Too many experiments with LSD had left him a violent, confused mental patient, doomed to wander the filthy halls of a ward in a state hospital in Kentucky. James spent his time drooling, and trying to convince everyone he was living in London in the future; dropping six lids of acid while watching 12 Monkeys for 36 hours straight can do that to a person.

Next up – Chapter 20 by Mark Firth

From The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money by John Maynard Keynes

Selected by Paul Milewski

One of the things I believe I have learned during my “formal education” is the value of going to the original source and not trusting someone else’s assertion that some guy said this or said that, footnote or no footnote. I believe that reading the thoughts of Keynes expressed in his own words and not taken out of context gives me a better idea of what Keynes meant and how he thought about things. When reading The General Theory, one should probably bear in mind that Keynes wrote The General Theory in 1935 in the depth of the Great Depression when the pressing question of the day was what to do about the high level of unemployment. To take a college-level course in economics and not read The General Theory is to cheat yourself.

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If the Treasury were to fill old bottles with banknotes, bury them at suitable depths in disused coal mines which are then filled up to the surface with town rubbish, and leave it to private enterprise on well-tried principles of laissez-faire to dig the notes up again (the right to do so being obtained, of course, by tendering for leases of the note-bearing territory), there need be no more unemployment and, with the help of the repercussions, the real income of the community, and its capital wealth also, would probably become a good deal greater than it actually is. It would, indeed, be more sensible to build houses and the like; but if there are political and practical difficulties in the way of this, the above would be better than nothing. [Chapter 10, “The Marginal Propensity to Consume”]

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Ancient Egypt was doubly fortunate, and doubtless owed to this its fabled wealth, in that it possessed two activities, namely, pyramid-building as well as the search for the precious metals, the fruits of which, since they could not serve the needs of man by being consumed, did not stale with abundance. The Middle Ages build cathedrals and sang dirges. Two pyramids, two masses for the dead, are twice as good as one; but not so two railways from London to York. Thus we are so sensible, have schooled ourselves to so close a semblance of prudent financiers, taking careful thought before we add to the “financial” burdens of posterity by building them houses to live in, that we have no such easy escape from the sufferings of unemployment. We have to accept them as an inevitable result of applying to the conduct of the State the maxims which are best calculated to “enrich” an individual by enabling him to pile up claims to enjoyment which he does not intend to exercise at any definite time. [Chapter 10, “The Marginal Propensity to Consume”]

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Day-to-day fluctuations in the profits of existing investments, which are obviously of an ephemeral and non-significant character, tend to have an altogether excessive, and even an absurd, influence on the market. It is said, for example, that the shares of American companies which manufacture ice tend to sell at a higher price in summer than in winter when no one wants ice. [Chapter 12, “Long-Term Expectation”]

---

It might have been supposed that competition between expert professionals, possessing judgment and knowledge beyond that of the average private investor, would correct the vagaries of the ignorant individual left to himself. It happens, however, that the energies and skill of the professional investor and speculator are mainly occupied otherwise. For most of these persons are, in fact, largely concerned, not with making superior long-term forecasts of the probable yield of an investment over its whole life, but with foreseeing changes in the conventional basis of valuation a short time ahead of the general public. They are concerned, not with what an investment is really worth to a man who buys it “for keeps”, but with what the market will value it at, under the influence of mass psychology, three months or a year hence. ...For it is not sensible to pay 25 for an investment of which you believe the prospective yield to justify a value of 30, if you also believe that the market will value it at 20 three months hence. …Nor is it necessary that anyone should keep his simple faith in the conventional basis of valuation having any genuine long-term validity. For it is, so to speak, a game of Snap, of Old Mail, of Musical Chairs—a pastime in which he is victor who says Snap neither too soon nor too late, who passes the Old Maid to his neighbour before the game is over, who secures a chair for himself when the music stops. These games can be played with zest and enjoyment, though all the players know that is the Old Mail that is circulating, or that when the music stops some of the players will find themselves unseated. …It is usually agreed that casinos should, in the public interest, be inaccessible and expensive. And perhaps the same is true of Stock Exchanges. That the sins of the London Stock Exchange are less than those of Wall Street may be due, not so much to differences in national character, as to the fact that to the average Englishman Throgmorton Street is, compared with Wall Street to the average American, inaccessible and very expensive. [Chapter 12, “Long-Term Expectation”]

---

Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist. Madmen in authority, who hear voices in the air, are distilling their frenzy from some academic scribbler of a few years back. I am sure that the power of vested interests is vastly exaggerated compared with the gradual encroachment of ideas. Not, indeed, immediately, but after a certain interval; for in the field of economic and political philosophy there are not many who are influenced by new theories after they are twenty-five or thirty years of age, so that the ideas which civil servants and politicians and even agitators apply to current events are not likely to be the newest. But, soon or late, it is ideas, not vested interests, which are dangerous for good or evil. [Chapter 24, “Concluding Notes”]

LIFEBOAT!

A game of survival, bad breath, and fish odor…

This is the simple game of Lifeboat. Everyone plays this, whether you participate or not. Each turn everyone still alive in the lifeboat may make a single vote to throw someone off the lifeboat, or a single vote to remove one vote from yourself (a defensive measure). The high vote getter is thrown overboard, as well as any player getting 2 or more net votes (due to the damage caused when Sanka was tossed overboard). In a tie, everyone with that score is thrown over. Last one in the boat wins. I’ll probably give a prize, as usual. Press is encouraged. Note that the votes themselves are NOT revealed. I just simply announce who is thrown overboard. If you’re not listed as in the lifeboat right now but want to be, email me and I will add you next issue. If you are listed and don’t’ want to be…well, too bad. There is no suicide in this game; you just can ignore it if you want to.

Currently in the lifeboat:

Carol Kay

Hugh Polley

John Biehl

Marc Ellinger

Martin Burgdorf

Paul Milewski

Hunger starts to creep in on the swiftly dwindling group of survivors. Ellinger suggests fishing for some food. Kemp unravels a sock to use as fishing line. For some bizarre reason Milewski has an awl that is misshapen in the form of a hook. Kemp and Milewski start working on assembling a fishing rig. But their hands are cracked and parched and they are having a time trying to tie the awl to the line. They ask for help and Hugh Polley leans over and starts working on the project. Ellinger yells from the front of the raft, “WHAT’S THE STATUS ON THAT RIG?” Polley says, “Awl is on.” “WHAT!” Ellinger yells back. Polley shout “AWL IS ON” Misunderstanding what is going on, Allison stands up and says “Why are you calling my name” but in the middle of the comment, she leans over to look at Polley, loses her footing and falls in the water…you know what happens after that. In the ensuing chaos, Amber Smith, Geoff Kemp, and Michael Moulton also become shark food.

Thrown Into the Shark Infested Waters: Douglas Kent, Jack McHugh, Chris Babcock, Paraic Reddington, Sanka the Cat (safely made it to land), Andy York, Toby the Helpful Kitty (safely made it to land), Phil Murphy, Fred Wiedemeyer, Don Williams, Kayza the Dog (safely made it to land), Michael Quirk, Dane Maslen, Larry Cronin, Chuy Cronin, Richard Weiss. Tom Howell, Jeremie Lefrancois, Harley Jordan, Cal White, Andy Lischett, Rick Desper, William Wood, Jim Burgess, Hank Alme, Kevin Tighe, Per Westling, Kevin Wilson, Jeff O’Donnell, Graham Wilson, Melinda Holley, Michael Cronin, Pat Vogelsang, Robin ap Cynan, Lance Anderson, David McCrumb, Heather Taylor, Brendan Whyte, David Burgess, David Latimer, Allison Kent, Amber Smith, Geoff Kemp, Michael Moulton, and Tom Swider.

PRESS

Shark to Whyte: Thanks for bringing so many in with you. They were great with the Whyte Sauce.

Shark to John: Throw is some more. You have anything up there to substitute for that yummy Whyte Sauce?

Anonymous: Like I said, it's strictly random now (cept me, of course).

Anonymous: Well, maybe not completely random. If anyone starts mocking me, well.... then, I'll have to change my new strategy.

Anonymous: (leering, in turn, at Allison, Amber, Carol, Geoff, Hugh, John, Marc, Martin, Michael & Paul) .......... (and being met with blank stares all round) ......... Which one, which one might mock me? Did mock me? Has anyone mocked me? Which one? .......

(BOOB OPINES): Ah, so that was a turn where you had FOUR people voting people off, so that almost surely means it is four of you remaining ten who are voting and likely will take another big bite out of the boat this time. If I were a betting man, and I am (even in unusual situations that will make others squawk "unfair"!), I would bet on someone with a name starting with M to win this.

(BOOB to MICHAEL, MARTIN and MARC): C'mon, take the rest of them down and then face each other off for the win. I swim for you.....

Deadline for your vote and any press is March 26th at 7:00am my time

Eternal Sunshine Index – ESI

A Scientific Measure of Zine Health

Current Index: 58.57 +1.50%

The Eternal Sunshine Index is a stock-market-like index of the zine. You don’t do anything in this game, except write press or commentary on price movements (or why you think your stock should have gone up or down). I move the prices beginning with next issue based on my own private formula of quantity and quality zine participation (NMR’s, press, columns, etc.). Any new zine participants become new issues valued at at 50, but the stock for anyone who disappears will remain listed. The average of all listed stocks will result in the ESI closing value each month, which will be charted issue to issue after we have a few months’ worth of data. If you don’t like the stock symbol I have assigned you, you may petition the exchange to change it. Blame Phil Murphy for suggesting this section to me.

Market Commentary: A few players disappear from the zine, but with new games running and another gamestart, the index moves higher for the 11^th issue in a row. How long before the bubble bursts?

Stock	Price	% +/-
AJK - Allison Kent	68	1.5%
ALM - Hank Alme	24	20.0%
AMB - Amber Smith	1	-66.7%
AND - Lance Anderson	1	-66.7%
BAB - Chris Babcock	1	9900.0%
BIE - John Biehl	103	2.0%
BRG - Martin Burgdorf	92	2.2%
BWD - Brad Wilson	105	5.0%
CAK - Andy Lischett	95	3.3%
CAL - Cal White	0.01	0.0%
CHC - Chuy Cronin	0.01	0.0%
CIA - Tom Swider	0.01	0.0%
CKW - Kevin Wilson	98	2.1%
CKY - Carol Kay	26	4.0%
DAN - Dane Maslen	93	1.1%
DBG - David Burgess	0.01	0.0%
DGR - David Grabar	15	-40.0%
DTC - Brendan Whyte	88	2.3%
DUK - Don Williams	80	3.9%
FRD - Fred Wiedemeyer	87	2.4%
FRG - Jeremie Lefrancois	0.01	0.0%
FRT - Mark Firth	87	2.4%
GAR - Heath Gardner	56	5.7%
GRA - Graham Wilson	0.01	0.0%
HAP - Hugh Polley	32	6.7%
HDT - Heather Taylor	92	2.2%
HLJ - Harley Jordan	87	2.4%
JOD - Jeff O'Donnell	79	2.6%
KMP - Geoff Kemp	90	2.3%
KVT - Kevin Tighe	55	-15.4%
LAT - David Latimer	80	1.3%
LCR - Larry Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MRK - Mark Nelson	1	-66.7%
MCC - David McCrumb	60	-7.7%
MCR - Michael Cronin	0.01	0.0%
MIM - Michael Moulton	35	-16.7%
MRC - Marc Ellinger	90	2.3%
OTS - Tom Howell	88	2.3%
PER - Per Westling	84	2.4%
PJM - Phil Murphy	34	6.3%
QUI - Michael Quirk	10	25.0%
RAC - Robin ap Cynan	66	1.5%
RDP - Rick Desper	94	2.2%
REB - Melinda Holley	93	2.2%
RED - Paraic Reddington	100	2.0%
RWE - Richard Weiss	104	4.0%
SAK - Jack McHugh	155	4.7%
TAP - Jim Burgess	108	2.9%
VOG - Pat Vogelsang	0.01	0.0%
WAY - W. Andrew York	92	2.2%
WLK - Richard Walkerdine	141	0.0%
WWW - William Wood	0.01	0.0%
YLP - Paul Milewski	114	5.6%

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?

Rules in ES #58. Send in your guesses. I’ve played this in Brandon Whyte’s Damn the Consequences a few times and it’s fun, takes only a minute or two each turn, and helps you work your brain! As soon as this one ends, a new one will begin.

ROUND 1

Kevin Wilson:

Mitt Romney in Washington DC

Jim Burgess:

Che Guevara in Vallegrande Bolivia

Dane Maslen:

Archimedes in Tripoli, Libya

Paraic Reddington:

Charlie Chaplin in Rochester NY

Brendan Whyte:

Erasmus in Anchorage

Richard Weiss:

George Washington Carver in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo

Tom Howell:

Pontias Pilate in Jerusalem

Rick Desper:

Mark Twain in Hannibal, Missouri

John Biehl:

Ramesses II in Istanbul

Andy Lischett:

Cheech Marin in Chillicothe, Ohio

Per Westling:

Winston Churchill in Buenos Aires

Robin ap Cynan:

Conrad von Metzke in San Diego

Marc Ellinger:

Barack Obama in Chicago

Mark Firth:

Mamie Eisenhower in Bogota

Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “You died before I was born”

ROUND 2

Richard Weiss:

Steven Jobs in Nairobi

Brendan Whyte:

Mark Twain in Bethlehem (Palestine)

Dane Maslen:

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Lhasa, Tibet

Heath Gardner:

Oliver Cromwell in Iowa City

Marc Ellinger:

King Midas in Damascus

Rick Desper:

William S Burroughs in Mexico City, Mexico

Jim Burgess:

George Washington in Heraklion, Crete

Tom Howell:

Machiavelli in Timbuktu

Andy Lischett:

Cheech Marin in Lima, Peru

Paraic Reddington:

Bob Hope in Chicago

Kevin Wilson:

Catherine Elizabeth "Kate" nee Middleton, The Duchess of Cambridge in Santiago Chile

John Biehl:

Napoleon Bonaparte in Valletta (Malta)

Mark Firth:

Rod Steiger in Waterloo

Phil Murphy:

Kim Philby in Dublin, Ireland

Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “Aside from our chromosomes we have absolutely nothing in common; not place, not time, not profession, probably not even favorite food.”

ROUND 3

Andy Lischett:

Attila the Hun in Johannesburg, South Africa

Richard Weiss:

Toshio Suzuki in Lusaka, Zambia

John Biehl:

Franklin D Roosevelt in Guadalajara, Mexico

Tom Howell:

Pieter Van der Faes aka (Sir) Peter Lely in Lusaka, Zambia

Marc Ellinger:

Jimmy Buffett in Belize City, Belize

Heath Gardner:

Hunter S. Thompson in Madison, WI

Rick Desper:

Peyton Manning in Denver, Colorado

Paraic Reddington:

Andre Agassi in Tehran

Dane Maslen:

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in Montevideo, Uruguay

Kevin Wilson:

Lance Armstrong in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Jim Burgess:

Marco Polo in Venice, Italy

Per Westling:

Hari Seldon in Panama City, Panama

Philip Murphy:

Warren E. Buffett in Washington, D.C.

Mark Firth:

Mr. Spock in Trenchtown, Jamaica

PRESS

Anon: Well, that turn was interesting. Perhaps not very informative, but interesting, nonetheless.

Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “We are both living, but the best years of my career took place before you were even born.”

ROUND 4

Brendan Whyte:

Sir Cliff Richard in Bam, Iran

Richard Weiss:

Richard Petty in Dallas, TX

Andy Lischett:

Yogi Berra in Dar es Salaam

Dane Maslen:

Yogi Berra in Amarillo, TX

Tom Howell:

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Lew Alcindor) in Kampala, Uganda

Heath Gardner:

Kirk Douglas in Wichita, Kansas

Marc Ellinger:

Jack Nicholson in Salt Lake City, Utah

Jack McHugh:

Alexander the Great in Los Angeles, California

Per Westling:

Connor MacLeod in Casablanca, Morocco

Rick Desper:

William Shatner in Riverside, Iowa

John Biehl:

Archie Manning in Aden, Yemen

Jim Burgess:

Itzhak Perlman in Aswan, Egypt

Paraic Reddington:

Clint Eastwood in Lagos, Nigeria

Mark Firth:

Lauren Bacall in Homs, Syria

Kevin Wilson:

Jerry Mathers in Kigali Rwanda

Hint to Player with Closest Geographic Guess: “We appeared in one film together, the only film I appeared in as an actor.”

Deadline for Round 5 is March 26th at 7:00am my time

Brain Farts: The Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance

By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com

(or just email Doug and he’ll send it to me)

Issue #52

Unemployed, lonely, and fat. What did they tell Flounder in Animal House? I think it was “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” I have the fat part down, and once I email this to Sack I’ll start working on drunk, until I drink enough to feel stupid. Maybe raising my taxes would help the situation. I want to be fair.

So how can over 873,000 people come off the unemployment line when there were only a little over 114,000 jobs created?

Luckily I found a transcript of a conversation between two eminent economists discussing this very question!

Here we go, the recent unemployment report explained --

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.

COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.

ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?

ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment rolls that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how the current administration gets it to 7.8%. Otherwise it would be 14.7%. Our govt. doesn't want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.

COSTELLO: That would be tough on those running for reelection.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people give up and stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like the Economy Czar.

COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Obama.

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq .

The leader of the terrorists told them he would grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets..

Katie Couric said, "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of Draper Valley fried chicken."

The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with chicken.

Couric ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Charlie Gibson said, "I'm living in New York , so I'd like to hear the song, 'The Moon and Me', one last time."

The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music.

He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song.

Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments.

He then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and asked, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"

"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.

In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the rest of the terrorists, killing another 11.

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him,

"Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?"

"What?" replied the Marine, "and have you three assholes report that I as the aggressor.....?"

Octopus’s Garden

Issue Seventy-Eight

23^rd February 2013

Sub-editorial

HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus’s Garden, the subzeen with its very own Railway Rivals game. It’s a subzeen to Jim Burgess’ The Abyssinian Prince , which is now a subzeen toDouglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Produced by Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk. It's also available on the web at http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.

Round 10 – "Hannibal Hamlin" - Railway Rivals Map FR

22) (23-33) Rennes – Lille: REN 15-2 ; LOSER 15-1-4+1 ; FWOGGIE 0+4 ; FRAK IT 0-1+2+1.

23) (36-64) Nancy – Marseille: REN 20 ; NERTZ 10.

24) (65-54) Toulon – Bordeaux: NERTZ 20-1+5 ; FRAK IT 10-5 ; LOSER +1.

25) (55-22) Bayonne – Cherbourg: FWOGGIE 20-4+2 ; LOSER 10-2 ; NERTZ +4.

26) (13-@1) Paris – England: REN 20 ; FRAK IT 10.

27) (@2-45) BeNeLux – Lyon: REN 20+3 ; NERTZ 10-3-2 ; FWOGGIE 0 ; LOSER 0+2.

28) (44-14) Lyon - Paris: NERTZ 20+1 ; FRAK IT 10-1 ; FWOGGIE 0 ; LOSER 0.

Builds:

NERTZ (William Whyte, USA.) [purple]

(C59) - F57 [-1 Fw] [-1 Fr] [-1 R] - F56 - Rouen. =-7-3

LOSER (Geoff Challinger, UK.) [blue] : No builds.

FRAK IT (W. Andrew York, USA.) [black] : No builds.

FWOGGIE (Brendan Whyte, Aus.) [green]

(V21) - V22 - U23 [-1 N]. =-2-1

RENAISSANCE (Robin ap Cynan, UK.) [yellow]

(Z31) - Y32. =-1

Scores on the doors:

Company	B/fwd	22	23	24	25	26	27	28	Builds	C/fwd
NERTZ	131		10	24	4		5	21	-07-03+01	186
LOSER	86	11		1	8		2	0	-00-00+00	108
FRAK IT	153	2		5		10		9	-00-00+01	180
FWOGGIE	193	4			18		0	0	-02-01+01	213
RENAISS	157	13	20			20	23		-01-00+01	233
	720	30	30	30	30	30	30	30	-10-04+04	920

Races for Round Eleven:

29) (46-21) St Etienne - Brest

30) (@5-52) Italy - Limoges

31) (31-43) Amiens - Dijon

32) (51-32) Clermont Ferrand - Dunkerque

33) (16-63) Le Havre - Marseille

34) (61-@3) Grenoble - Germany

35) (26-11) La Rochelle - Paris

GENEVA: For Round Eleven, you may enter up to four of these races, and then build up to 6 physical points of track (i.e. payments to rivals don't count against the limit; although of course you still pay them.) The deadline for Round Ten orders is SATURDAY, 16th MARCH, 2013 to Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk.

That was Octopus's Garden #78, a Startling Press production.

ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 11 February 25, 2012

YAHTZEE AND YAHTZEE VARIANTS

Rules for regular Yahtzee published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982. Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf

GM Musings: I predicted the Super Bowl but was sad that rookies made rookie mistakes. I don’t care about NBA or NHL regular season, although have had season tickets to two different NHL franchises. Maybe I’ll watch the Stanley Cup and the NBA Finals. Not worth watching the NBA before that. That makes March Madness the next sporting event. Although, I was in a bar and saw a spring training game. If Bonds and Clemens don’t get elected I’ll be upset. Every era has taints and all players are tainted. They still did it, and for both, before there was taint. Maybe drunkenness really helped Ruth. Tobacco helped Cobb. No one wants to acknowledge that Cal Ripken Jr. took amphetamines every day of the summer during his entire career and his streak, or that amphetamine use continues unabated.

Craziest recent drug usage heard this year was players using Viagra because it increases blood flow. Not really how Viagra works. Too bad there weren’t some more fractured boners this year. Maybe that’s why “holding” was up this year!

For NASCAR or super cars or whatever, I know twice as many people who knew the results of Daytona as ordinarily would have.

Don’t know who didn’t win the Italian election, the name of the new Premier of Japan, and a bunch of other things.

I know spring has come to Folsom, CA and northern CA in general. Green shoots, spring flowers, buds, blossoms on cottonwoods and others, greener grass and shrubs, reddening of strawberries leaves, a few different birds, warmer days, longer sunshine periods.

Orders Due: 23 March Noon Pacific Time. Three persons sent orders. One stating desire to start over.

Game Offerings: None

Potential Game Offerings: None.

Yahtzee Game: Kim Philby

At the End of Round 6, Roll 2:

Player: What Each Kept

Doug Kent 2, 2, 2,

Kevin Wilson 2, 2, 2,

Geoff Kemp Nothing

The sequential order of dice available now are: 1,3,4,1,4. Looks like Geoff gets two of a kind and Doug and Kevin get three 2,2,2,1,3 which adds up to six for twos, likely.

At the End of Round 4, Roll 3:

Player: What each scored

Doug Kent Small Straight

Kevin Wilson Full House

Geoff Kemp 18 for sixes

At the End of Round 5, Roll 3:

Player: What Each Scored

Doug Kent 24 for chance

Kevin Wilson four for ones

Geoff Kemp 3 for ones

First Roll of Round 7 is: 6,4,5,5,4

Doug and Kevin have scored fives already. No one has scored sixes. Only Doug has used his chance.

For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in where and what you want to score for Round 6.3 and what you want to save after Round 7, Roll 1.

Doug is +4 for scoring the upper bonus of 35. Kevin is +7. Geoff is neither plus nor minus.

Scoring at the End of Round 5

Upper	Doug Kent	Kevin Wilson	Geoff Kemp
Ace = 1	1	4	3
Twos = 2
Threes = 3
Fours = 4
Fives = 5	15	15
Sixes = 6	24	24	18
Total	(40)	(43)	(21)
Bonus +35 if >63
Total Upper
Lower
3 of a Kind			24
4 of a Kind			28
Full House = 25		25
Sm Straight = 30	30	30
Lg Straight = 40			40
YAHTZEE = 50
Chance	24
Yahtzee Bonus
Total Lower
GRAND TOTAL	94	98	113

BALKAN WARS VI WESTERN PACIFIC 2012Bpb08

WINTER 1910/SPRING 1911

ALL ROADS LEAD TO BULGARIA (except from Serbia)

WInter 1910: BULGARIA: A Thrace ret CON; F Varna ret OTB. GREECE: build F Athens, F Sparta. RUMANIA: Build A Galati. TURKEY: Build F Smyrna.

ALBANIA (Burgess): A Tirana-Nish, A Valona S A Skopje, A Skopje S A Tirana-Nish

BULGARIA (Kemp): A Sofia S A Plovdiv, A Plovdiv S A Constantinople-Thrace, A Constantinople-Thrace

GREECE (McHugh): F Thrace S F Athens-Aegean Sea, A Salonika S F Thrace, F Crete-Cyclades, F Athens-Aegean Sea, F Sparta S F Crete-Cyclades

RUMANIA (Whining Kent Pig): F Dubruja-South Black Sea, A Bucharest-Sofia, A Kolarovo S A Bucharest-Sofia, A Galati-Transylvania

SERBIA (Murphy): A Montenegro-Belgrade, A Nish S A Macedonia-Skopje, A Macedonia-Skopje

TURKEY (Whyte): A Arda-Plovdiv, F Varna-Constantinople, F Rhodes-Southern Mediterrenean Sea, F Smyrna-Eastern Mediterrenean Sea

Underlined moves do not succeed. The Bulgarian A Sofia is dislodged and may retreat to Olentia or off the board.

Emails:

Jim Burgess, jfburgess@gmail.com

Geoff Kemp, ggeoff510@aol.com

Jack McHugh, jwmchughjr@gmail.com

Doug Kent, dougray30@yahoo.com

Phil Murphy, philip.murphy@skynet.ie

Brendan Whyte, obiwonfive@hotmail.com

BTW, here is a look at the final 1910 supply center chart as it turned out.

ALBANIA: montenegro, valona, tirana, skopje (3)

BULGARIA: thrace, sofia, plovdiv, varna, constantinople (3)

GREECE: home, thrace, crete (5)

RUMANIA: home, dubruja (4)

SERBIA: skopje, nish, belgrade, montenegro (3)

TURKEY: constantinople, izmit, smyrna, varna, rhodes (4)

The Fall 1911 deadline is 3 p.m. March 22.

No map this time but perhaps by the fall. Hectic times here, busiest time of year for me.

My contact info: Brad Wilson, 713 Tasker St. #1, Philadephia, PA 19148; 215-668-5522 voice/text; bwdolphin146@yahoo.com or fullfathomfive675@gmail.com.

As a GM I like to participate in the press. My dateline is PHILADELPHIA and that is the ONLY dateline off-limits to you as players. Otherwise fire away!!!

PLAYLIST: Richter/unknown orchestra, conductor: J.S. Bach, PIANO CONCERTO No. 1 9/3 (from a YouTube clip). Richter sounds like God. The band is OK. The sound is not good but who cares when the pianist sounds like this?

PRESS

ALBANIAN BOOB to IRISH SERBIAN: I'll now go a step further, I'm SURE this isn't helping either of us... but I'm stubborn, here we go again....

PROVIDENCE to PHILADELPHIA: A link made in heaven.... now American rather than US Airways....

PHILADELPHIA: Nothing is heavenly about US Failways.

PROVIDENCE to PHILADELPHIA ON FIRE: Go ahead, fan the flames why don't you..... ;-)

PHILADELPHIA: You bet. BW the Torch here!

Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening in ES): Signed up: Dax Gorham, needs six more.

Youngstown IV (Black Press): Ten-player variant, with off-board boxes to make it “worldwide.” A classic. Rules on request. Signed up: Brad Wilson. Needs 9 more.

By Almost Popular Demand: Same as By Popular Demand, except the top choice in every category scores zero. Join at any time.

Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Quiz: Join anytime. When this is over the next quiz will either be quotes again, or maybe overly-simple plot descriptions.

Lifeboat: Everybody plays, whether you actually do anything or not.

Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?: Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!

Coming Soon?: 1898, Colonia VII-B. If you’re interested in one of these variants, let me know.

Standby List: HELP! I need standby players! – Current standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson, Kevin Tighe (Dip only), Chris Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, and whoever I beg into it in an emergency.

I’m going to continue to go through my files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets enough interest to fill. When I offer a variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the opening and replace it. If somebody wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let me know.

Gamestart! Woolworth II-D “Sweet Spot” 2013?

Austria (Secret): Has F Trieste, A Budapest, A Vienna.

Balkans (Secret): Has A Bulgaria, A Serbia, F Greece.

England (Secret): Has F London, F Edinburgh, Choice Liverpool.

France (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): Has F Brest, A Paris, Choice Marseilles.

Germany (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): Has F Kiel, A Munich, A Berlin.

Italy (Secret): Has F Naples, A Venice, Choice Rome.

Russia (Jim Burgess - jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Has A Moscow, A Warsaw, F Sevastopol,

Choice St. Petersburg.

Scandinavia (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): Has F Norway, A Sweden, F Denmark

Spain (Secret): Has A Portugal, F Morocco, Choice Madrid.

Turkey (Hugh Polley – hapolley “of” yahoo.ca): Has F Ankara, A Constantinople, Choice Smyrna.

Deadline for Spring ‘01 (including “builds” of choice units) Will Be March 26th at 7am My Time

Acquire – “Winterbloom”

Players: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, and Martin Burgdorf.

Turn 3

Hank Alme – Plays 2-F. Buys 3 American.

Per Westling – Plays 2-A. Starts Tower. Gets 1 free and buys 3 more.

Martin Burgdorf – Plays 11-B. Starts Imperial. Gets 1 free and buys 3 more.

Tom Howell – Plays 10-H. Starts Continental. Gets 1 free and buys 3 more.

Hank Alme – Plays 12-G. Buys 3 American.

Turn Order for Turn 4: Per Westling, Martin Burgdorf, Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling.

Deadline for Turn 4 is March 25^th at 7pm my time.

Kremlin – “Four Stitches”

Players: Jack McHugh - Communist Party Against Reform (CRAP), Rick Desper - The Rusty Curtain (RUST), Jim Burgess - Chylak's Galicians (CG), Mark Firth - Trixci (TRI), and Geoff Kemp - Refuseniks (REF).

Turn 3-A

Starting Politburo:

Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10

Foreign: Q, Tigran Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5

Defense: C, Alexej Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2

Ideology: U, Wassily Protzky, 58, (Weak), CRAP 6

Industry: D, Petr Niewitko, 73 (Strong), CG 2.

Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff, 54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3

Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 72, +, CG 2, TRI 1.

Candidates:, B 75, F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57

People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62, P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.

Siberia: A 82 +

Waves: CRAP has 2.

Phase 1: Cure Phase – No activity. U ages 1 to 59. E ages 1 to 73.

Phase 2: Purge Phase – No activity.

Phase 3: Spy Investigation Phase – No activity.

Phase 4: Health Phase – No activity. U gets sick. D gets sick. E becomes ill.

Ending Politburo:

Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10

Foreign: Q, Tigran Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5

Defense: C, Alexej Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2

Ideology: U, Wassily Protzky, 59, +, (Weak), CRAP 6

Industry: D, Petr Niewitko, 73 + (Strong), CG 2.

Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff, 54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3

Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 73, ++, CG 2, TRI 1.

Candidates:, B 75, F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57

People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62, P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.

Siberia: A 82 +

Waves: CRAP has 2.

PRESS

CG to CRAP: Two strikes, one more strike and you're out....

CG to CRAP: Whoops, I have that backwards, don't I?

NIEWITKO to PUTSCHNIK: How about if we change places? I think I could do a good job of KGB chief and you know Industry and the Economy represents REAL power, what do you say?

CG to EVERYONE ELSE: Can't one of you help me??? What did you do, put all your points on useless neverwas's?

Deadline for Turn 3 Replacement through Parade Phase is March 25^th at 7pm my time.

Diplomacy “Dulcinea” 2008C, W 21/S 22

Austria (Martin Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): A Belgium Hold, F Brest Hold,

A Budapest Supports A Ukraine – Rumania, A Burgundy Supports A Marseilles, A Denmark Hold,

A Gascony - Spain (*Fails*), A Holland Hold, A Kiel Supports A Denmark,

A Marseilles Supports A Gascony - Spain (*Cut*), A Moscow - Sevastopol (*Fails*), A Norway Hold,

A Picardy Supports F Brest, A St Petersburg Supports A Norway, A Tyrolia - Venice (*Fails*),

A Ukraine – Rumania, A Vienna Supports A Budapest.

England (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Helgoland Bight Supports F Norwegian Sea –

North Sea, A London Hold, F Norwegian Sea - North Sea.

Turkey (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Build A Constantinople, plays 1 short..

F Adriatic Sea – Venice, F Albania Supports F Trieste, F Black Sea Supports A Sevastopol,

A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Fails*), A Constantinople - Bulgaria (*Fails*), F English Channel - Brest (*Fails*),

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Gascony (*Fails*), F Piedmont - Marseilles (*Fails*), A Rumania – Galicia,

A Serbia Supports F Trieste, A Sevastopol Supports A Bulgaria - Rumania (*Cut*),

F Spain(sc) Supports F Piedmont - Marseilles (*Cut*), F Sweden – Baltic Sea,

F Trieste Supports F Adriatic Sea - Venice.

F 22 Deadline is March 26th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

(BOOB to MARTIN): You shall one day know who I am, let's see how long it takes.

GM – Boob: If he has to learn from TAP, I hope he isn’t holding his breath.

(BOOB to KEVIN): No problem, my man, I hope you pass this to Hank, but hope you are well!

(BOOB to HANK): Welcome and felicitations! I hope we will make beautiful music together.

(BOOB to DOUG): You on the other hand..... well, you'll regret the path of this game yet.....

GM – Boob: No matter how long this game goes, it’ll still end before you crap out another copy of your rag. How does it feel to know that Brad Wilson now publishes something more frequently than you?

“Dulcinea” Diplomacy Bourse

Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his limousine.

Duke of York: No moves.

Smaug the Dragon: Sleeping.

Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns and 500 Pounds. Buys 817 Piastres.

Baron Wuffet: In the lavatory.

Wooden Nickel Enterprises: Sells 500 pounds and 64 Piastres. Buys 420 Crowns.

VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 522 Crowns.

Insider Trading LLC: Nothing.

Bourse Master: Stands pat.

PRESS

Baggins to Roth; But, can any of us catch the Duke?

(DUKE OF YORK to SCOTTISH RAIDERS): We support the British, we support the British, no Scotsmen here....

(DUKE OF YORK to SMAUG): I welcome your attention, why don't you guys bid down the Pounds so I can buy more of them

VAIONT to SMAUG: You look mahhh-velous, you old She-Dragon. Not like that bitch Galadriel …

Next Bourse Deadline is March 25^th at 7:00pm my time

Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A, W 20/S 21

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Budapest Supports F Trieste,

A Vienna Supports F Trieste, F Trieste SHELLS ANYONE NOT VOTING TO END THIS GAME (Holds).

England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): F Belgium - North Sea,

F Bulgaria(sc) Supports F Constantinople (*Cut*), F Constantinople Supports F Bulgaria(sc),

F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, F English Channel Convoys A London – Belgium, A London – Belgium,

A Moscow - Warsaw (*Dislodged*, retreat to St Petersburg or OTB), F Naples - Rome (*Fails*),

F Norway Supports F Belgium - North Sea, A Paris - Gascony (*Bounce*), A Picardy - Paris (*Fails*),

F Smyrna Supports F Constantinople (*Dislodged*, retreat to Aegean Sea or Eastern Mediterranean

or Syria or OTB), F Spain(sc) - Marseilles (*Fails*), A St Petersburg – Livonia, F Tunis - Ionian Sea.

France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.

Germany (Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu): Build F Kiel..A Ankara Supports

A Armenia – Smyrna, A Armenia – Smyrna, A Burgundy - Gascony (*Bounce*), F Denmark – Skagerrak,

A Greece Supports A Serbia – Bulgaria, F Holland - North Sea (*Fails*), F Kiel - Helgoland Bight,

A Marseilles Supports A Burgundy - Gascony (*Cut*), A Rome Supports A Venice - Apulia (*Cut*),

A Rumania – Ukraine, A Serbia - Bulgaria (*Fails*), A Sevastopol – Moscow,

F Sweden Supports F Denmark – Skagerrak, A Venice – Apulia, A Warsaw Supports A Sevastopol - Moscow.

All Draws Fail

F 21 Deadline is March 26th at 7:00am my time

PRESS:

(BOOB to DUCK): I salute your persistence....

(BOOB to DUCK): Now I'm SURE that Harley and Fred are toying with you.....

DUCK to BOOB: Actually, they are toying with each other (oh what a surprise), not me. I’m just gonna be the poor son of a bitch who gets killed in the smokin’ crossfire …

AUSTRIA to G/E: Okay, guys, on three … rock, paper, scissors … it’s only fair. This game is now running into 1921, and is the longest game that I’ve ever been in. It’s also the only Graustark game I ever played in. What an ignominious and inglorious resolution to this singularity of a game.

(PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET to WHOMEVER YOU ARE): I seek you, I will find you, you WILL feel my.... zombieishness.

GM – Press Zombie: Made up word.

Diplomacy “Dublin Boys” 2010D, End Game

Austria (Paul Milewski): In fall 1902 I retreated to my A Gal to Sil. In spring 1903 I moved A Sil—War while Russia moved A Gal—Vie. In fall 1903 I moved A War—Mos. In spring 1904 I moved A Gal—War, and after fall 1904 I was in control of War and Mos; with England (finally) ordering A Nwy—StP in fall 1904, the only home supply center Russia still controlled was Sev. I think the grim reality that Russia at that point was in control of only Sev, Rum, and Vie finally convinced Turkey to turn on Russia. (Spring 1905 press, “CON—SEV: Sorry, but crumbling cookies get eaten.”) In spring 1905 I reentered Vie, Russia retreated his A Vie OTB, and control of Vie passed back to me after fall 1905. In spring 1906 I entered Sev and Rum, wiping out the Russian A Rum. Russia moved his F Sev to Arm in spring 1906. Finally, Russia’s supply center count was reduced to zero and the F Arm disappeared and Turkey and we could direct our attention westward toward Italy and Germany. For me, everything after that was anticlimactic. That the game dragged on as long as it did surprised me, as I thought we essentially had a stalemate situation since spring 1909. I wish to add that I would have preferred that Germany be included in the draw.

New England (Heath Gardner): Boom! Easiest draw result ever!

Turkey (Brad Wilson): A fun game. Played my Turkish hedgehog for a while, made sure Russia wasn't the in the Black Sea, and then when the time seemed right made my move, allied with Paul, stomped on Russia and Italy and settled in for the long haul. Was one turn short of eventually forcing Gibraltar and going for a 2-way but that's life. I did refuse to vote for a 4-way draw and kept voting yes for 3-way. France did not deserve a share.

Fun game. Paul's a fine ally and Doug is a fine GM. Let's do it again, eh?

Everybody Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, F 13

Player Names or Handles will be shown for any power they commanded each season.

Remember, in some seasons if we get enough players you may not wind up commanding any nations. All press submitted will be printed.

Austria (Tom Howell): A Belgium Hold, A Berlin – Kiel, A Bohemia – Silesia, A Budapest - Rumania (*Fails*),

A Bulgaria Hold, A Denmark Hold, F Eastern Mediterranean Supports F Smyrna,

A Galicia Supports A Ukraine – Warsaw, A Greece Supports A Bulgaria, F Gulf of Lyon Supports A Spain,

F Ionian Sea - Aegean Sea, F Smyrna Hold, A Spain Hold, F Trieste - Adriatic Sea, A Tunis Hold,

A Ukraine - Warsaw.

England (Rick Desper): A Brest Supports A Picardy – Paris, F English Channel - Belgium (*Fails*),

F Gascony Supports F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Gulf of Bothnia – Sweden,

F Irish Sea - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, A Livonia - Moscow (*Fails*), F Norwegian Sea – Norway, A Picardy - Paris.

France (John Biehl): A Paris – Burgundy, F Portugal - Spain(sc) (*Fails*).

Russia (Brad Wilson): F Black Sea Convoys A Rumania - Armenia (*Dislodged*, retreat to Armenia

or Sevastopol or OTB), A Moscow - Livonia (*Fails*), A Rumania - Armenia (*Fails*).

Turkey (Hugh Polley): F Aegean Sea – Constantinople, F Ankara Supports F Constantinople - Black Sea,

F Constantinople - Black Sea.

Tom Howell takes the win by drawing Austria and getting to 19!

Any EOG statements are due March 26th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Belgium, Berlin, Budapest, Bulgaria, Denmark, Greece, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples,

Rome, Serbia, Smyrna, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Vienna, Warsaw=19, Wins!!

England: Brest, Edinburgh, Holland, Liverpool, London, Norway, Paris, St Petersburg, Sweden=9, Build 1

France: Portugal=1, Remove 1

Russia: Moscow, Rumania, Sevastopol=3, Even or Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Constantinople=2, Remove 1

PRESS

Sylvia to Anon: Gesundheit!

Austria Must Not Win: Does anyone but me actually send in rational orders for Eng, Fra, Rus & Tur? Unless they all co-operate fully there's no hope for them.

Red Toadies: Feed us more flies - blue bottles, white lacewings, yellow jackets, slurp.

(ITALY MUST WIN to AUSTRIAN PROPONENTS): What are the odds of you winning? I think they're quite high, but I never give up, never surrender.

(ITALY MUST WIN to SYLVIA POGGIOLI): I love it, I love it, send those Austrian lame orders around to keep them running.

Vienna: Forward!

London: Backward!

Diplomacy - “Lighthouse” – 2011A – W 07/S 08

Austria (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build A Trieste.. A Trieste Hold, A Vienna Hold.

England (Paul Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): Remove A Wales.. F Irish Sea - Wales.

France (Kevin Wilson – ckevinw “of” gmail.com): Build A Paris, A Marseilles, F Brest..

F Belgium Supports F Brest - English Channel, F Brest - English Channel, A Holland Hold,

A Kiel Supports A Munich, A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Bounce*), F Mid-Atlantic Ocean Supports

F Brest - English Channel, A Munich Supports A Kiel, A Paris – Picardy, A Piedmont – Tyrolia, F Rome Hold,

F Tunis Hold, F Western Mediterranean - Tyrrhenian Sea.

Germany (Brad Wilson - bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): Retreat F North Sea - Yorkshire..Remove

F Yorkshire, F Helgoland Bight.. A Edinburgh Hold.

Italy (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Remove A Tyrolia, A Moscow..

A Tuscany - Piedmont (*Bounce*).

Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): Build A Warsaw, A Sevastopol, F St Petersburg(nc)..

F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice, F Aegean Sea Supports F Ionian Sea, A Berlin Supports A Galicia – Silesia,

A Bohemia Hold, A Budapest Hold, F Denmark - North Sea (*Fails*), A Galicia – Silesia, F Ionian Sea Hold,

F London Hold, F North Sea - Edinburgh (*Fails*), A Rumania – Galicia, A Serbia Supports A Budapest,
A Sevastopol - Ukraine (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(nc) Hold, A Sweden - Denmark (*Fails*), A Venice Hold,

A Warsaw - Ukraine (*Bounce*).

F/R Draw is Proposed. Please vote. NVR=No.

F 08 Deadline is March 26^th at 7:00am my time

PRESS

Ita - World: If I hadn't attacked Moscow, this game would be over with a Russian win. You're welcome.

GM – Italy: But can they do anything to have it matter?

GERMANS in SCOTLAND: We're off beer, on to Scotch, we came here, watch us quaff!

France - All: My apologies for being silent this turn. My old PC finally gave up the ghost. I bought a new Mac and I'm learning it but it's slow and I haven't retrieved my old game correspondence from the old PC just yet. I expect, by next deadline, I'll have the history back so will be able to respond.

Diplomacy “Jerusalem” 2012A, F 04

Austria (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat A Serbia - Albania.. A Albania - Trieste

(*Disbanded*), A Budapest Supports A Albania - Trieste (*Dislodged*, retreat to Galicia or OTB),

A Trieste – Tyrolia, A Vienna Supports A Trieste - Tyrolia.

England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): F Barents Sea Supports A St Petersburg, 
 F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F Irish Sea Supports F English Channel - Mid-Atlantic Ocean, 
 F North Sea - English Channel, F Norway - North Sea, A St Petersburg Hold.

France (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Disband F Mid-Atlantic Ocean.. F Brest Hold,

A Gascony Hold, A Paris Hold, A Spain Hold.

Germany (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Marseilles - Spain (*Fails*),

F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Western Mediterranean, A Munich - Tyrolia (*Fails*), A Picardy - Brest (*Fails*),

A Silesia - Bohemia.

Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” capita.co.uk): F Adriatic Sea Supports A Venice – Trieste,

F Ionian Sea Supports A Greece – Albania, A Tyrolia - Vienna (*Dislodged*, retreat to Piedmont

or Venice or OTB), A Venice - Trieste.

Russia (Richard Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): Retreat A St Petersburg - Livonia..

A Livonia – Prussia, A Moscow - St Petersburg (*Fails*), F Sevastopol Hold,

A Warsaw Supports A Livonia - Prussia.

Turkey (Geoff Kemp - ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Aegean Sea – Greece, F Black Sea Supports A Rumania,

A Bulgaria – Serbia, A Greece – Albania, A Rumania Supports A Serbia – Budapest, A Serbia - Budapest.

W 04/S 05 Deadline is March 26th at 7:00am my time

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Vienna=1, Remove 1 or Remove 2

England: Denmark, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway, St Petersburg, Sweden=7, Build 1

France: Brest, Paris, Portugal, Spain=4, Even

Germany: Belgium, Berlin, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Munich=6, Build 1

Italy: Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 1 or 2

Russia: Moscow, Sevastopol, Warsaw=3, Remove 1

Turkey: Ankara, Budapest, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Greece, Rumania, Serbia, Smyrna=8, Build 2

PRESS

Geoff - Don "Fire away, Old Bean!"

Rabid Republican Reiver - Don " That's Sir Rabid Republican Reiver to you, Redneck!"

UNITED NATIONS EDUCATIONAL, SCIENTIFIC AND CULTURAL ORGANISATION
Communique 04022013 part 1
It has recently been noted that both the member states of Russia and France are bemoaning the lack of Diplomatic Correspondence. We have therefore decided to fund an education mission to both Moscow and Paris in an attempt to introduce words of more than one syllable to both the Russian and French languages as we find that there is very little sign of any as yet in said languages. As a further method of improvement we are recalling a mission from Timbukto as they are sorely needed more in Paris. We find we may have made a breakthrough by flavouring the gum on the postage stamps with Vodka although we need to try and teach the Russians to stick them on envelopes rather than use them in sandwiches. However, we believe that there is every chance of the French to be able to write a coherent Diplomatic letter by Spring 1910 if all goes well. Whether Russia will still exist as a country by that date is alas beyond our control.

France-Germany: go to hell....you're apology was as phony as you are.....

GM – France: Dirty language from such a pristine young girl.

France-England: don't bother writing me anymore, i don't need to hear anymore lies, just stay with your new Germany friend...

GM – France: If you have a problem with lies, why do you talk to me?

Czar to Don: John? There’s no John in this game. Who you talkin bout?

Czar to John: Who be you? There ain’t no Don in this game either. What kind of blather press has this game come to?

Czar to beloved peasants: I thought your future was going to be between the Whites and the Reds. I never saw the blues coming. Never heard Branford Marsalis play Folsom City Blues before this week, either. He said no one ever had. Hmmm.

Hypothetical: If I offered my early 1960s Diplomacy game by Games Research Inc. for sale, how much would you pay me for it. After I sell it to you, I get to tell you what you owe.

Non-hypothetical: In said Diplomacy GRI Rules for Diplomacy, which country has the feminine gender pronoun?

GM – NH: Whichever one Jack plays.

Aus - I/T: Hey! Hey! Hey! Who called open season????

Aus - Ger: I think we're more like Don Quixote & Pancho. I'm just not sure which of us is tilting at windmills & which of us is just along for the ride.

Aus - Board: Oh, I don't see this ending well at all.

GM – Aus: That’s what Heather said after we got married.

London (Nov 1, 1904): King John was in a foul mood after his Lords & Ladies, his Courtiers and his Numerous Flunkies has all departed his Halloween Ball, " All these 'French Costumes' tonight! Am I surrounded by Scoundrels? Are they all mocking Me? If only I was Charles I - I could order - Off with their Heads!"

(PROFESSOR THE EASTERN EUROPEAN HALF BOOB to EVER HELPFUL DR. SCIENCE): Is that better? My hands are doing just fine thanks, and we're ready for action....

(LOWERQUALITY to HIGHERQUALITY): You nailed it, these losers had better pay attention!!

(BOOB to DON): Can I help?

GM – Boob: You can’t do any worse here than your own games.

Diplomacy “Walkerdine” 2012D, F 01

Austria (Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): F Albania – Greece,

A Serbia Supports F Albania – Greece, A Tyrolia Hold.

England (Marc Ellinger - mellinger “of” bbdlc.com): A Edinburgh - Belgium (*Bounce*),

F North Sea Convoys A Edinburgh – Belgium, F Norwegian Sea - Norway.

France (Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): A Marseilles – Spain, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean – Portugal,

A Picardy - Belgium (*Bounce*).

Germany (Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): F Denmark - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Kiel – Holland,

A Ruhr - Munich.

Italy (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Rome – Venice,

A Venice - Piedmont.

Russia (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): F Black Sea – Constantinople,

F Gulf of Bothnia - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Ukraine – Rumania, A Warsaw - Silesia.

Turkey (Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Armenia – Sevastopol,

A Bulgaria Supports A Ukraine – Rumania, F Constantinople - Aegean Sea.

Deadline for W 01/S 02 Will Be March 26^th at 7am My Time

Seasons will be separated on two requests. Press will be printed unless marked “Spring Only” regardless of separation.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Greece, Serbia, Trieste, Vienna=5, Build 2

England: Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Norway=4, Build 1

France: Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Build 2

Italy: Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=4, Build 1

Russia: Constantinople, Moscow, Rumania, St Petersburg, Warsaw=5, Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Sevastopol, Smyrna=4, Build 1

Unowned: Belgium, Sweden.

PRESS

Italy to GM: How sad it is to be misunderstood. I move to protect my northern border from Germany and I am accused of attacking France!

GM – Italy: I know how you feel. I peek through the bedroom windows of women and I am accused of being a peeping tom. I’m just shy!

Italy to France: While I am certain that the lyrics are well written, I must admit that don’t recognize the tune. I listen to classical music myself – you know, Led Zeppelin, Grand Funk, Black Sabbath, and my personal favorite, Alice Cooper. I am certain that the music played by “The Police” is mostly drug-oriented tunes designed to destroy the fine fabric of our country!

France – Italy: (sung to the tune of “The Railroad” by GFR)

Up this morning at five o’clock

Looks like my zine delays ain’t never gonna stop

I work so hard at my job all day

But tonight when I get home, that’s when I will play

Oh you know my allies, they’ll stick with me fine

While Italy moves on Marseilles one more time

Zarr can’t be trusted, he’s full of lies

Watch when he moves on Marseilles one more time

Beads of sweat running down my brow

(Zarr, he can’t be trusted)

Not sure what strategy I should employ now

(Zarr, he can’t be trusted)

I should have listened to what Milewski said

(Zarr he can’t be trusted)

Guess now I just can’t rest till Italy is dead.

Oh you’ll see my forces form a strong line

Come on and swing my fleets south one more time

When Zarr is eliminated I’ll drink some fine wine

Come on and gobble Zarr’s dots one more time.

Berlin-Constantinople: We have seen your treachery in past lives. We see the unseen hand of your villainy as it extends its conniving fingers toward Munich.

Swiss Chancel to Italy, France and Austria: Why is it that Germany respects our borders and you clowns are running all about them?

Silesia-Armenia: This is the dull part of the game. Keep your chin up; things are bound to get moving.

The Tsar be Damn

To the Tune of Jumpin’ Jack Flash

France was born in a cross-fire hurricane

The frog howled at Germany for a stab again

But it's all right now, in fact, it's a scam

But it's all right. I'm the Tsar be damn

It's a scam! Scam! Scam

The Archduke Jeff is a toothless, bearded hag

The Sultan schooled him with an I/T in the bag

But it's all right now, in fact, it's a scam

But it's all right. I'm the Tsar be damn

It's a scam! Scam! Scam

Italy drowned, and was washed up and left for dead

England’s armies got hit and he saw them dead

Russia laughed at the crumbs of the lowland

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tsar was crowned with a spike right thru his head

But it's all right now, in fact, it's a scam

But it's all right. I'm the Tsar be damn

It's a scam! Scam! Scam

The Tsar be damn, it's a scam!

The Tsar be damn, it's a scam!

The Tsar be damn, it's a scam!

The Tsar be damn, it's a scam!

The Tsar be damn!

London to Vienna – How’s that hope and change thingy working for you now? Italy in Trieste this fall???

Berlin to Moscow – Die Russian Pig dog, die!!!

Moscow to Berlin – Please don’t hurt us, we only want piece…a piece of you!

Eighteen Dots* -

Some Dippers say a solo is hard to attain

I say it’s easy in a zero-sum game.

Grabbing each dot as if it was mine

I make sure to cross ev’ry stalemate line.

I’ll grab eighteen dots - with no regret

‘Cause I just stabbed Russia and I ain’t done yet

St Petersburg has fallen and I want more

I’ll gobble up MOS and finish with WAR.

I just love to play England, Wicked Witch of the West!

Sailing fleets over borders when I’m playin’ my best

And through the North Sea I can convoy the rest

Taking BEL and HOL and-a DEN and Brest …

It’s just eighteen dots, an’ I started with three,

Ain’t hard to manage – just another fifteen!

Saint Petersburg first then it’s on to the Med

Until that happens, though, I’ll just play dead.

Look, my lips are moving yeah - I’m lyin’ again

Lawyerly words are just part of my game.

I was taught well by Cooley – yeah, I learned at his knee,

“To solo” he said, “just-a listen to me.”

“You snatch eighteen dots, more if you can,

A little insurance is just part of the plan.

Make sure you snatch Tunis – without it you’re toast!

Move fast, my boy or they’ll stalemate that coast.”

My blue blocks are sweepin’, better move aside –

My fleets and armies are an Indigo Tide!

By land and sea England’s power will surge

I gotta try to solo - it’s a powerful urge …

I’ll grab eighteen dots with no regret.

Will I feel shameful? Well it ain’t happened yet!

No blame or hate or guilt, now don’t lose heart …
I’ll call my solo right here at the start …

Sung to the tune of “Sixteen Tons” by T.E. Ford

Black Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, F 01

Austria: F Albania – Greece, A Galicia – Vienna, A Serbia Supports F Albania - Greece.

England: F English Channel - Brest (*Bounce*), F North Sea Convoys A Yorkshire – Belgium,

A Yorkshire - Belgium.

France: F Mid-Atlantic Ocean – Portugal, A Paris - Brest (*Bounce*), A Spain Hold.

Germany: F Denmark - Sweden (*Bounce*), A Kiel – Holland, A Munich - Ruhr.

Italy: F Ionian Sea – Tunis, A Trieste Hold, A Venice - Tyrolia.

Russia: F Gulf of Bothnia - Sweden (*Bounce*), F Sevastopol - Black Sea, A St Petersburg – Norway,

A Ukraine - Rumania.

Turkey: F Ankara – Constantinople, A Armenia – Sevastopol, A Bulgaria - Greece (*Fails*).

Deadline for W 01/S 02 Will Be March 26^th at 7am My Time

Seasons will be separated on two requests. Press will be printed unless marked “Spring Only” regardless of separation.

Supply Center Chart

Austria: Budapest, Greece, Serbia, Vienna=4, Build 1

England: Belgium, Edinburgh, Liverpool, London=4, Build 1

France: Brest, Marseilles, Paris, Portugal, Spain=5, Build 2

Germany: Berlin, Denmark, Holland, Kiel, Munich=5, Build 2

Italy: Naples, Rome, Trieste, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 2

Russia: Moscow, Norway, Rumania, St Petersburg, Warsaw=5, Build 1

Turkey: Ankara, Bulgaria, Constantinople, Sevastopol, Smyrna=5, Build 2

Unowned: Sweden.

PRESS

(Berlin Press) - It was announced today that the Kaiser has taken personal command of the military. "All citizens are required to support the Fatherland and protect it. While there will be some austerity, there will be plenty of beer, potatoes, and sausages available to all." It is also reported that the Kaiser is somewhat puzzled by the Czar's public announcement of potentially declaring war upon Turkey, Austria, and Germany. "It's obvious the Czar has either cracked under the strain or is under the slavish control of his insane military advisers."

Ber-Lon: It's obvious the Russian presence in the north threatens both of us.

Ber-Fra: No harm. No foul. Defensive maneuver on both sides.

Ber-Aus: No Anschluss. It appears we both have our hands full.

Aus to Ita - Keep Trieste, build two fleets, send Ven-Apu and we're good.

Aus to Rus and Tur - if Italy presses his attack, my dots are yours.

France – Germany: Do we really want to replay WWI when other, more inviting opportunities are available to us? I have no wish to go to war with you, but I think we could better serve both of our countries if we take a serious look at what might be possible elsewhere.

France – England: It would appear to me, my friend, that Russia intends to contest your control of Norway. Why invite trouble into your home when you and I can work together?

T => A: Obviously you do not want to collaborate with I. I shall make sure that not I F will come east of ION.

T => R: You only want Rum and BLA. You can have them. I take Sev.

RUSSIA - AUSTRIA:

Hopefully you retreated as you said.

I guess you'll be busy with Italy!

If Turkey attacks me, I will also be busy.

Good Luck to the both of us!

Regards, Russia.

RUSSIA - TURKEY:

I hope (but not holding breath!) that you retreated from Armenia and didn't order Arm - Sev (which will trigger war!).

Regards, Russia.

RUSSIA - GERMANY:

If you've not prevented my taking Sweden then I forsee great cooperation between us.

Good Luck!

Regards, Russia.

Rome to Vienna: Bring it on you overchinned Hapsburg pig-dog.

Rome to Paris: Sounds good to me.

Rome to Ankara: Long-term?

Rome to Berlin: No threat to you!

Diplomacy “Sweet Spot” 2013A, S 01

Austria (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net): A Budapest - Rumania (*Bounce*),

F Trieste – Albania, A Vienna - Galicia.

England (Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): F Edinburgh - Norwegian Sea, A Liverpool – Edinburgh,

F London - North Sea.

France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): F Brest - English Channel,

A Marseilles Supports A Paris – Burgundy, A Paris - Burgundy.

Germany (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): A Berlin – Kiel, F Kiel – Denmark,

A Munich - Burgundy (*Fails*).

Italy (Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): F Naples - Ionian Sea, A Rome – Apulia,

A Venice - Tyrolia.

Russia (Chris Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): A Moscow - St Petersburg,

F Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), F St Petersburg(sc) - Gulf of Bothnia, A Warsaw - Silesia.

Turkey (Larry Peery – peery “of” ix.netcom.com;): F Ankara – Constantinople, A Constantinople – Bulgaria,

A Smyrna - Syria.

Deadline for Fall 1901 Will Be March 26th at 7am My Time

PRESS

Fra - E/G/I: I'm feelin' the love! And love hurts, you know. Allow me to love you in return.

Anon: The Woman stalked the halls of Versailles, ignoring the priceless treasures around her. "Madam! We've received communication from England but it's in the form of a song...or ditty...or something." The Woman waved her hand in dismissal. "The English haven't had a decent writer since Shakespeare. Ignore it." Her assistant scurried to keep up with her. "But...Madam! It's been echoed by the Germans." The Woman stopped. "The Germans?" she snorted." The Germans are just happy to be celebrating they booted Andy Reid to KC!" She turned around and walked towards the balcony doors. "What about the Italians?" Her assistant cleared his throat. "According to our spies, Madam, the Italian Premier had a vision." The woman paused before opening the balcony doors. "Vision, you say?" She smiled when her assistant's head nodded so quickly it reminded it of a bobble-head. She fondly patted the short little man on his balding head. "I like a man who sees visions. Send my best regards to him...along with a case of our finest wine...whatever it is." Her assistant bowed. "Yes, Madam. Immediately." The Woman opened the balcony doors and stepped onto the balcony. She regarded the magnificent gardens with approval then pointed to her left. "I'll put my satellite dish over there...where those orange and red flower-things are." She turned her head just in time to see her assistant turn white then faint. "Huh...guess I'll have to wait for him to wake up to tell him where I want the RV to sit."

GM – Anon: The English don’t know good wine…just send some Ripple.

England to Europe: Peace to you all. Let us all avoid war at all costs so that trade and goodwill might flourish and provide an example to the world.

(Moscow) - The Czar looked up as his Chief of Black Ops bowed low before him. "Is it done?" the Czar imperiously demanded. "Yes, Sire. Our operatives have been inserted into both the Germany, Turkish, and French Military High Commands. He awaits your instructions." The Czar handed a piece of paper to the weasley-looking man. "I want these orders given to their troops." "It shall be done." The Czar leaned back and puffed on an expensive cigar. "What about the English Military High Command?" He watched as the man in front of him squirmed. "We've not been successful there as yet." The Czar menacingly leaned forward. "Be successful," he ordered.

PIECES FROM TURKEY

It’s true. The more things change the more they stay the same. A hundred years ago Turkey was at the crossroads of Europe and Asia. Today Turkey is the southeastern cornerstone of NATO, with the largest army of any NATO member, and yet it is not a member of the European Union, and European countries are frightened of the Islamic state that Turkey may become. Then and now Turkey was torn between its past and its future in a present that confused some and confounded others. As it was in history and is in current events, so it is and will be in Sweet Spot.

A TURKISH DIPLOMACY GAME

Suppose you were going to host a Diplomacy game in the Sublime Porte consisting of players from or whose careers were Turkocentric? Which seven figures from history would you pick for the players? I would pick three figures from the past, three from more recent times, and one timeless legend. From the past: Darius the Great, Paul of Tarsus, and Sulyman the Magnificient. From relatively recent times I’d include: Lawrence of Arabia, Ataturk, and Erdogan. The seventh player would be St. Nicholas. The GM would be Viscount Allenby.

THREE TREATIES OF ILL REPUTE

To understand modern Turkey you need an understanding of one war and three treaties. Info on all four subjects can be found on Wikipedia. The Turkish War of Independence (May 19, 1919 – July 24, 1923) was a war waged by Turkish nationalists against the Allies, after the country was occupied following the Ottoman Empire’s defeat in World War I. Turkey was treated much more harshly than Germany in the Versailles peace talks. This, among other causes, led to the Turkish National Movement in Anatolia which culminated in the formation of a new Grand National Assembly by Mustafa Kemal Ataturk and his colleagues. After the end of the Turkish-Armenian, Franco-Turkish, Greco-Turkish wars, the Treaty of Sevres (which laid down conditions for the end of hostilities between the Allies and Turkey in WWI) was abandoned and the Treaty of Lausanne was signed in July 1923. The Allies left Anatolia and Eastern Thrace and the Grand National Assembly decided on the establishment of a Republic in Turkey which was declared on October 29, 1923. With the establishment of the Turkish National Movement, the partitioning of the Ottoman Empire, and the abolishment of the sultanate the Ottoman era and the Empire came to an end and with Ataturk’s reforms the Turks created a modern, secular nation-state on the political front.

TODAY’S TURKEY

Events in Turkey today reflect the past, and then as now Bulgaria is of primary importance to Turkey. The recent fall of the Bulgarian government because of a spike in electricity prices sent shock waves through Constantinople. Turkey’s NATO allies have deployed Patriot missile batteries along the Syrian border to protect Turks and Syrian refugees from wayward Syrian missiles. The arrest and trials of generals of the Turkish armed forces go on and on in the wake of a rumored anti-Islamic government coup plot. Recent US press coverage about Turkey have dealt with Turkish-EU relations (NY Times), a look at how Turkey’s past gives some insight into its unresolved troubles (NY Times), a revelation that Marxists, not Islamic terrorists, were responsible for the recent bombing at the US embassy in Ankara (widely covered in the media), and the death of an American woman Sari Sierra in Turkey (also widely covered) doesn’t seem to have effected tourism, a primary source of Turkish prosperity

VISITING TURKEY

Ruins, the older the better, have always been a big tourist draw and Turkey has more than its share. The Guardian (UK) reports on yet another of Eastern Turkey’s ancient wonders. Gobekli Tepe. The site, at 11,000 years old, is the oldest monument ever found, yet was only discovered a decade ago. It is also the site of man’s first efforts at farming. Tour groups are already offering visits to the site. Eastern European cities (Bucharest, Budapest, Krakow, and Sofia) are the most affordable destinations with major tourist industries. In Turkey Istanbul and Ankara and a few high-end Mediterranean resorts are nearly as expensive as in other major European major cities, but prices drop considerably in smaller towns, often to about one-fifth of what they would be in Western Europe. One tour operator offers a 12 day tour for USD 2,000, a 16 day tour for USD 2,500. Airfares from the USA run from under USD 900 – 1,600 depending on season. To keep up with all these anticipated tourists (and to keep up with Emirates/Dubai’s rapid growth) Istanbul is planning to build the world’s largest airport, complete with six runways! The Economist reports on yet another battle between secular Turkey and Islamic Turkey, this one over uniforms worn by Turkish Airlines cabin attendants, which they described as being a cross between a Star Trek costume and a burqa.

AN EYE TO THE WISE PLANNING TO ATTEND THIS YEAR’S DIXIECON

“Turkey vultures flock to North Carolina town, await Hitchcock remake”

Even if you haven’t seen Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” you probably know what it’s about. So when a bunch of them uncharacteristically roost in one area, there’s reason to get nervous, even if it’s based in movie fiction. But the residents of Shelby, N.C. (just down the road from Chapel Hill), aren’t just creeped out by the turkey vultures that have been encamped along Peach Street since fall. They’re disgusted, too. The big birds won’t make off with a pet as their next meal, but they leave their last one all over the lawn. And people have been warned not to scare them off because, well, they’ll puke. “It’s their defense mechanism,” explained Kristen Duren, an intern in the county extension office. “They think you will eat that instead of them.” Hey, that’s what a vulture would do. Videos are available on You Tube, if you’re interested.

JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING

So why did I move to Bulgaria? Because it’s there, of course. But that hardly explains why I moved to Syria does it? Well, I have never (since 1966 anyway) played Turkey and moved to Syria in Spring 1901. For that matter I don’t recall anybody else ever doing it. So, what the hell, why not? Besides, it will give Heath and Melinda something to gossip about.

By Almost Popular Demand

The goal is to pick something that fits the category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular" answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7 points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round. If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be doubled. In other words, if you apply your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5. Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the score is doubled for Round 10. A prize will be awarded to the winner. Research is permitted!

Round 1 Categories

1. A metal.

2. A “cold cut” (sliced meat or poultry)

3. A method of travel.

4. A currency.

5. A day of the week.

Congrats to Jim Burgess for the high score of 23. Poor Jack McHugh and Hank Alme are in the basement with 4 points each.

Selected Comments By Category

Metal – Marc Ellinger “I think most people think of steel, so aluminum is a good back up…except for Brits who can’t pronounce this word correctly!!” Jim Burgess “I am going to go with the reverse psychology choice of Gold as second most popular choice. This assumes Silver will be "most popular", but there is high likelihood of a mess of different answers here.”

Cold Cut – Marc Ellinger “Pronunced “Baloney”. I harken back to the Oscar Mayer song. My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R, [everyone sing along!!!]”

Travel – Marc Ellinger “Was just listening to the “City of New Orleans” and couldn’t help think it was karma or fate, I always get that one confused.” Per Westling “"FAQ about Time Travel" is a nice British movie I could recommend for anyone interested in the paradoxes involved in that kind of travelling.”

Currency – Marc Ellinger “Speaking of confusing, how can a currency be named a weight? Nothing of value really weighs a pound….except pound cake!!” Jim Burgess “This is one where I think Dollar will be the best answer and Euro will be the most popular, but I'll go with Pound.”

Day of the Week – Heath Gardner “Jokering this one because it's more random and the format of this game makes me nervous J” Marc Ellinger “Now I’m hungry, so I think I’ll hit the Sunday buffet!” Per Westling “Tuesday is by many regarded as the worst day of the week, as they have lost the weekend energy by then and it is a long time before the next weekend....”

General Comments – Dane Maslen “I really ought to have thought of 'Trash' last issue. Although it's not commonly used over here, it used to be where one dragged files for deletion before that got renamed in a PC attempt to be recycling friendly. According to my calculations I'd have hung on to win by one point if I'd thought of 'Trash' instead of giving a rubbish answer.”

Round 2 Categories

1. A serial killer (real name or nickname).

2. A film with Nicole Kidman.

3. Something you buy at a gas station.

4. A city in China.

5. An English King.

Deadline for Round 2 is March 26th at 7:00am my time

There are ten rounds of movie photos, and each round consists of ten photos. Identify the film each photo is from. Anyone may enter at any point. If you want to submit some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds. A prize will be awarded to the winner – and it might be a very good prize! Research is not permitted! That means NO RESEARCH OF ANY KIND, not just no searches for the photos themselves. The only legal “research” is watching movies to try and locate the scenes. Each round will also contain one bonus question, asking what the ten movies being quoted have in common. The player with the most correct answers each round gets 3 points, 2^nd place gets 2 points, and 3^rd place gets 1 point. In the event of ties, multiple players get the points (if three players tie for first, they EACH get 3 points). High score at the end of ten rounds wins the game, and a prize (unless you cheated). If there’s enough participation I may give a prize for 2^nd and maybe even 3^rd place overall too. The final round will be worth double points.

Round 6

1.

Just Cause. The Untouchables – AL. A Good Man in Africa – JM. Entrapment – RD.

2.

Sweet Charity. Correct – JM.

3.

Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? Caligula – JM. Babette’s Feast – HA. Barbarella – RD.

4.

1776. Correct – AL, AY, JM, BW. Jefferson in Paris – HA. Barry Lyndon – RD.

5.

Charade. Correct – AL. A Few Good Men – HA. The Eiger Sanction – RD.

6.

Father Goose. Correct – AL, JM. Mother Goose – KW, RD. Charade – PR.

7.

The Secret War of Harry Frigg. Correct – JM. The Prize – AL.

8.

Silver Bears. Alfie – AL. Get Carter – HA. The Italian Job – RD.

9.

Mirage. To Kill a Mockingbird – AL. A Gentleman’s Agreement – JM. The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit – RD.

10.

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3. Correct – AL. Klute – RD.

Bonus – What do these films all have in common? All written by (or had the screenplay written by) Peter Stone. (They also include three of my favorite films). All Oscar Nominated – JM.

Points This Round: Andy Lischett [AL] – 4; Jack McHugh [JM] – 4; Andy York [AY] – 1; Brad Wilson [BW] – 1; Hank Alme [HA] – 0; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 0; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 0; Rick Desper [RD] - 0.

Scores So Far: Rick Desper [RD] – 15; Kevin Wilson [KW] – 8; Paraic Reddington [PR] – 5; Andy York [AY] – 5; Andy Lischett [AL] – 5; Jack McHugh [JM] – 5; Hank Alme [HA] – 4; Kevin Tighe [KT] – 3; Brad Wilson [BW] – 2; Don Williams [DW] – 1.

Round 7

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Deadline for Round 7 is March 26th at 7:00am my time

General Deadline for the Next Issue of Eternal Sunshine: March 26th, 2013 at 7:00am my time. See You Then!