Brain Farts: The
Only Subsubzine With It’s Own Fragrance
By Jack “Flapjack” McHugh – jwmchughjr@gmail.com
(or just email Doug and
he’ll send it to me)
Issue #53
I’m still substitute teaching at least a
few days a week while I look for a real job.
I don’t know why I don’t try to go on SSI Disability like the rest of
the country. One look at me and they’d
sign me up.
Hope you all choke on egg shells, whether
you celebrate Easter or not.
A man walks out to the street and catches
a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi.
Cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank.
Passenger: 'Who?'
Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who
did everything right all the time. Like
my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank
Feldman every single time.'
Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds
over everybody.'
Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a
terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf
with the pros..He sang like
an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him
play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'
Passenger: Sounds like he was something
really special.
Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory
like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine,
which foods to order and which fork to eat them with.
He could fix anything. Not like me. I
change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do
everything right.
Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'
Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way
to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.
Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he
really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she
was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished
too - He was the
perfect man! He never made
a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'
Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did
you meet him?'
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met
Frank. He died and I married his fuckin' wife."
10 Things
to Say to an Obama Voter Who Just Got Laid Off ---
1. "Hey, at least that successful
Mormon businessman didn't win."
2. "Didn't your lady parts warn you
this would happen?"
3. "Look at the bright side, gay
marriage passed in four states."
4. "Hey, Big Bird still has a job.
Isn't that the important thing?"
5. "I am sure Obama cares deeply
about your situation. Maybe he'll send you a postcard from Hawaii."
6. "Well, look at the bright side:
Rush Limbaugh is getting a massive tax increase."
7. "Hey! Now you'll have more time
to play with your unicorn."
8. "Isn't it worth losing your job
to know that religious organizations now have to pay for abortions and
contraceptives?"
9. "Well, now you and Keith Olbermann have something else in common."
10. "Forward!"
I was at the bar in the South Club last
night and saw two large girls by the bar.
They both had strange accents so I said,
"Hello, are you two girls from Scotland?"
One of them screamed, "Its WALES you
fucking idiot!"
So I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry,
are you two whales from Scotland?"
(That's when the trouble started.)
If you buy stuff on line, check out the
seller carefully. Be careful what you purchase on eBay.
A friend has just spent $100 on a penis
enlarger.
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
Instructions said, "Do not use in
the sunlight."
From Physics
and Philosophy (©1958) by Werner Heisenberg (1901—1976)
Selected by Paul Milewski
Heisenberg is considered the father of quantum
mechanics. His 1925 paper “On the Quantum-Theoretical
Reinterpretation of Kinetic and Mechanical Relationships” showed how the
seemingly self-evident concepts of position and velocity had to be revised when
considering the internal dynamics of atoms.
Two years later he extended these ideas, achieving lasting fame for his
proof that the position and velocity of quantum particles cannot simultaneously
be known. This was the famous Heisenberg
Uncertainty Principle. He was awarded
the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1932.
…Along with other prominent German physicists, he was taken
prisoner by the Allies at the end of World War II and sent to England. He returned to Germany in 1946… [From “About the Author”]
When Plato says, for instance,
that the smallest particles of fire are tetrahedrons, it is not quite easy to
see what he really means. Is the form of
the tetrahedron only symbolically attached to the element of fire, or do the
smallest particles of fire mechanically act as rigid tetrahedrons or as elastic
tetrahedrons, and by what force could they be separated into the equilateral
triangles, etc.? Modern science would
finally always ask: How can one decide
experimentally that the atoms of fire are tetrahedrons and not perhaps
cubes? Therefore, when modern science
states that the proton is a certain solution of a fundamental equation of
matter it means that we can from this solution deduce mathematically all
possible properties of the proton and can check the correctness of the solution
by experiments in every detail. This
possibility of checking the correctness of a statement experimentally with very
high precision and in any number of details gives an enormous weight to the
statement that could not be attached to the statement of early Greek
philosophy. [From chapter IV, “Quantum
Theory and the Roots of Atomic Science”]
From what has been said one would
be inclined to demand that the scientist should never rely on special
doctrines, never confine his method of thinking to a special philosophy. He should always be prepared to have the foundations
of his knowledge changed by new experience.
But this demand would be again be an oversimplification of our situation
in life for two reasons. The first is
that the structure of our thinking is determined in our youth by ideas which we
meet at that time or by getting into contact with strong personalities from
whom we learn. This structure will form
an integrating part of all our later work and it may well make it difficult for
us to adapt ourselves to entirely different ideas later on. The second reason is that we belong to a
community or a society. This community
is kept together by common ideas, by a common scale of ethical values, or by a
common language in which one speaks about the general problems of life. The common ideas may be supported by the
authority of a church, a party or the state and, even if this is not the case,
it may be difficult to go away from the common ideas without getting into
conflict with the community. Yet the
results of scientific thinking may contradict some of the common ideas. Certainly it would be unwise to demand that
the scientist should generally not be a loyal member of his community, that he
should be deprived of the happiness that may come from belonging to a community,
and it would be equally unwise to desire that the common ideas of society which
from the scientific point of view are always simplifications should change
instantaneously with the progress of scientific knowledge, that they should be
as variable as scientific theories must necessarily be. Therefore, at this point we come back even in
our time to the old problem of the “twofold truth” that has filled the history
of Christian religion throughout the later Middle
Ages. There is the very disputable
doctrine that “positive religion—whatever form It may
take—is an indispensable need for the mass of the people, while the man of
science seeks the real truth back of religion and seeks it only there.” “Science is esoteric,” so it is said, “it is
only for the few.” If in our time
political doctrines and social activities take the part of positive religion in
some countries, the problem is still essentially the same. The scientist’s first claim will always be
intellectual honesty, while the community will frequently ask of the scientist
that—in view of the variability of science—he at least wait a few decades
before expressing in public his dissenting opinions. There is probably no simple solution to this
problem, if tolerance alone is not sufficient; but some consolation may come
from the fact that it is certainly an old problem belonging to human life. [From chapter VIII, “Criticism and
Counterproposals to the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Theory”]
The invention of nuclear weapons
has also raised entirely new problems for science and scientists. The political influence of science has become
very much stronger than it was before World War II, and this fact has burdened
the scientist, especially the atomic physicist, with a double responsibility. He can either take an active part in the administration
of the country in connection with the importance of science for the community;
then he will eventually have to face the responsibility for decisions of
enormous weight which go far beyond the small circle of research and university
work to which he was wont. Or he may
voluntarily withdraw from any participation in political decisions; then he
will still be responsible for wrong decisions which he could possibly have
prevented had he not preferred the quiet life of the scientist. Obviously it is the duty of the scientists to
inform their governments in detail about the unprecedented destruction that
would follow from a war with thermonuclear weapons. Beyond that, scientists are frequently
requested to participate in solemn resolutions in favor of world peace; but
considering this latter demand I must confess that I have never been able to
see any point in declarations of this kind.
Such resolutions may seem a welcome proof of goodwill; but anyone who
speaks in favor of peace without stating precisely the conditions of this peace
must at once be suspected of speaking only about that kind of peace in which he
and his group thrive best—which of course would be completely worthless. Any honest declaration for peace must be an
enumeration of the sacrifices one is prepared to make for its
preservation. But as a rule the
scientists have no authority to make statements of this kind. [From chapter XI, “The Role of Modern Physics
in the Present Development of Human Thinking”]
Not Lepanto 4-ever LXII #2
by Per Westling (LHCper AT gmail.com)
I don't know if you remember the first installment of this,
well, subzime? As they say, Omnium rerum primordia sunt dura. I will give it another try and see what happens. Not many
reactions from last time, but they are always welcome, to Doug or to me at the
address above.
Need a Fourth?
Last time (in ES#65) I
wrote the story behind the name of this subzine. One
other hobby that I have been doing much longer than PBM/Diplomacy is Bridge.
Yes, the card game. I was 12 years old when I started with it, and it was
natural to do it as our family was a card playing family, and both my parents
were competing in Bridge (on a regional level). So, I took it up and did play
it mostly on regional level as well. Eventually I managed to collect enough ”master points” so that in Spring '00 I became Life
Master (Swedish version, which is a bit harder than the US version). But
completing I did lose interest of it; I want things to be fun. So around '06 I
dropped out. In summer of '11 I was contacted by an old bridge partner that
needed a 6th player in a team with grandiose plans, which turned out
to fail eventually but at least it got me going again. But I keep an eye on the
fun part.
So, I thought I present a
Bridge problem. Maybe that is a first in ES?
You
|
West
|
East
|
|
East
|
South
|
West
|
North
|
|
ªQJ873
|
ª92
|
|
1§
|
1ª
|
D*
|
Pass
|
|
©A
|
©KQ
|
|
2ª*
|
Pass
|
3§
|
Pass
|
|
¨KQJ986
|
¨73
|
|
3ª*
|
Pass
|
3NT
|
All pass
|
|
§J
|
§AK98752
|
|
|
|
|
Lead: ª5
|
In the bidding West could
not force with a natural 2¨ so he made a
take-out D (not for penalties) and than forced with a
natural 3¨. East just wanted to know
if West had any stopper.
So West is declarer and need to take 9 tricks without
any trump. North leads a small spade and
South cashes King and Ace of spades before shifting to a heart. So, how should
West continue? I'll get back to this near the end of this subzine.
Some die young
There is a song that was
played a lot on the national radio about a year ago. Some die young, by Laleh, a Swedish artist with her roots in Iran. This
contains the following chorus:
Some die young
But
you better hold
So
many things I need to say to you
Please
don’t, don’t let me go
And we said we
would die together
Every time I hear this song I start to think about the Death Poll in ES... So I
started to listen for other songs with similar themes, and did encounter The
Band Perry, with their If I die young. This have
the chorus:
If I
die young, bury me in satin
Lay me
down on a, bed of roses
Sink
me in the river, at dawn
Send
me away with the words of a love song
There are of course many other songs on this theme, but the most ”controversial” of these was Ke$ha's
Die young. It was top 3 on Billboard top 100 when it got banned on many
Radio stations after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting where 20
children was killed.
I think that was a bit overreacting, and if you listen to the
lyrics you hear that it has nothing to do with killing children:
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh
what a shame that you came here with someone
So
while you're here in my arms,
Let's
make the most of the night like we're gonna die young
But OK, I have sympathy for the decision.
Did find an interesting link about other bans: http://www.uproxx.com/music/2012/12/15-famous-songs-you-might-be-surprised-to-learn-were-banned-on-the-radio/#page/1
First Aid Kit
I thought I could take this opportunity to write some about
artists that might be fairly unknown in the US. This time I'd like to present
the sisters Söderberg, Johanna and Klara, in the duo First Aid Kit. Their music is in
the Folk genre with influences from Nashville, and the likes of Fleet Foxes and
Joanna Newsom. Sounding timeless sometimes, and as if from
the 60s other times. For me it sounds very Nordic and have
a melancholic touch.
.jpg/220px-First_Aid_Kit_(Frankfurt_am_Main,_18.02.2012).jpg)
Their second album,
The Lion's Roar, was released in 2012 and did reach number one spot in
Sweden, but have not yet reached all that high in other countries (well, except
Norway)
If you want to try it out you can try for example these three
songs on that album:
•
The Lion's Roar,
main song and was performed on Conan O'Brien in April 2012
•
Emmylou,
where they sing about Emmylou Harris, Gram Parson, Jone
Carter and Johnny Cash.
•
Blue, which really
sounds as it could have been performed at Woodstock during the Flower Power
Era.
Return
to the Bridge problem
It was me sitting West and I failed...
|
West
|
East
|
|
|
|
ªQJ873
|
ª92
|
|
|
|
©A
|
©KQ
|
|
|
|
¨KQJ986
|
¨73
|
|
|
|
§J
|
§AK98752
|
|
|
Tried one round of spades
(discarding a club) before playing clubs, overtaking the Jack and hoped QT
would fall or the opps to make a mistake, they did
not so I just scored 1 spade, 2 hearts and 5 clubs.
If I instead discard a
diamond in dummy South (holding Qxx in clubs) can
defeat me as I cannot both keep spades and enough diamonds. So I will loose 3 spades, 1 diamond and 1 club. (If for example I
keep ªJ8 s/he can play Ace and small in diamond. If I keep just ªJ, s/he will lead a spade while ¨A still remains.
The solution is to play ¨K at
trick 4. South, with ¨AT
cannot win this as I then have 5 diamonds, 2 spades, 2 hearts, 2 clubs with the
communication. So now I can play on clubs and discard diamonds. South will get
in on the third round of clubs and have only ¨A left, besides spades and hearts.
Oh well, a very difficult
board.
So, that was all for
today.
Octopus’s Garden
Issue Seventy-Nine
23rd March 2013
Sub-editorial
HELLO, good evening and welcome to Octopus’s Garden, the subzeen with its very own Railway Rivals game. It’s a subzeen to Jim Burgess’ The
Abyssinian Prince , which is now a subzeen toDouglas Kent's Eternal Sunshine. Produced
by Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk.
It's also available on the web at http://www.burdonvale.co.uk/octopus/.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Round 11 – "Hannibal Hamlin"
Railway Rivals Map FR
29) (46-21) St Etienne - Brest : FRAK IT 20-8 ; FWOGGIE 10+8.
30) (@5-52) Italy - Limoges : FRAK IT 20-6+3 ; FWOGGIE 10-3+6.
31) (31-43) Amiens - Dijon : LOSER 15 ; REN 15-2 ; NERTZ +2.
32) (51-32) C Ferrand - Dunkerque : FRAK IT 20-1-2 ; FWOGGIE 10+2+1.
33) (16-63) Le Havre - Marseille : LOSER 20-3-2+3+2+2 ; NERTZ 5-3+3+2 ; FRAK IT
5-2-2-3 ;
REN 0-2-1+3 ;
FWOGGIE +2+1.
34) (61-@3) Grenoble - Germany : NERTZ 20-3-1-1-4 ; REN 10-3-1 ; LOSER 0-3-1+4+1 ;
FWOGGIE +3+3+3 ;
FRAK IT +1+1+1.
35) (26-11) La Rochelle - Paris : NERTZ 20-4-1 ; REN 10-5 ; FWOGGIE 0 ; LOSER 0+5+4 ;
FRAK IT +1.
No
Builds.
NERTZ (William Whyte, USA.) [purple]
LOSER (Geoff Challinger,
UK.) [blue]
:
FRAK IT (W. Andrew York, USA.) [black] :
FWOGGIE (Brendan Whyte, Aus.) [green]
RENAISSANCE
(Robin ap Cynan, UK.) [yellow]
Scores
on the doors:
|
Company
|
B/fwd
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
32
|
33
|
34
|
35
|
C/fwd
|
|
NERTZ
|
186
|
|
|
2
|
|
7
|
11
|
15
|
221
|
|
LOSER
|
108
|
|
|
15
|
|
22
|
1
|
9
|
155
|
|
FRAK IT
|
180
|
12
|
17
|
|
17
|
-2
|
3
|
1
|
228
|
|
FWOGGIE
|
213
|
18
|
13
|
|
13
|
3
|
9
|
0
|
269
|
|
RENAISS
|
223
|
|
|
13
|
|
0
|
6
|
5
|
257
|
|
|
920
|
30
|
30
|
30
|
30
|
30
|
30
|
30
|
1130
|
Races for Round Twelve:
36) (@6-35) Spain - Metz
37) (34-15) Reims - Rouen
38) (25-@4) Orleans -
Switzerland
39) (56-42) Lourdes -
Mulhouse
40) (12-53) Paris - Toulouse
41) (62-24) Montpellier -
Nantes
42) (41-66) Strasbourg - Nice
GENEVA: For Round Twelve, you may enter up to four of these
races. The deadline for Round Twelve orders is SATURDAY, 13th APRIL, 2013
to Peter Sullivan, peter@burdonvale.co.uk.
___________________________________________________________________________________
That was
Octopus's Garden #79, a Startling Press production.
ZERO SUM, Subzine to Eternal Sunshine, Issue 12 March 24, 2013
YAHTZEE AND YAHTZEE VARIANTS
Rules for regular Yahtzee published in Eternal Sunshine #65. Scoring and play modified from Milton
Bradley’s Yahtzee Game copyrighted 1982. Hasbro lists the official rules at: http://www.hasbro.com/common/instruct/Yahtzee.pdf
GM Musings: I thank Doug for distributing Allan Calhamer’s death. I
did have two opportunities to talk with him.
Not sure why he named one country in the female gender and the rest
male. Do know that he thought the most
powerful country, despite evidence to the contrary by game results, was
Russia.
Will Tiger Woods rejuvenate
golf viewership faster than Danica Patrick increases
NASCAR viewership?
March Madness will persist
into April. All sports end later then they
used to, among American Major sports. Not sure about soccer, lacrosse, NASCAR, or
women’s negligee league games. I didn’t
have enough enthusiasm to even pick a bracket.
If I had, I would have picked all the nines over all the 8’s and
Minnesota in the first round (late radio tip).
I thought UNC had had a bad season and Memphis a great one. Oh well.
This year is a paucity of schools I’m related to. Daughter graduated Berkeley. I went to summer school Oregon. I attended UNC. I started a class at Michigan. I spent a month at Harvard and presented two
talks there over the years. My daughter
went to a week long course in HS at Ole Miss and stayed at the President’s
house, as his brother was daughter’s Mother’s boyfriend once. Fewest schools I’ve had as personal favorites
in many, many years.
Spring is fervently here in
Folsom. Puxatawny
Phil has been indicted for what could be a death penalty but not
extradited??? And congress
sputters. The meteor that ended the
Dinosaur Age was only a comet. A volcano
ended the Jurassic period. String and
the Boson are real. The Universe is 40
million years older and has less black matter than previously thought. What is this world coming to?
Last night asleep, GF and her
daughter awake 12:30 AM watching TV. All
power goes out. Don’t know where flash
lights, cell phones, or guns (oh, don’t have any, that’s right) are. Pounding on the front door. The distant knocking and “Stop F’ing around and open the door” Then dark sedan drives
off. Then I’m awakened. Call 911.
Dispatcher – oh, spring break prank, “Power Bomb.” Turn off main breaker. Drive away.
I guess it’s better than egging.
I’ve been keyed, egged, and power bombed but never T.P.’d. I’ve been in the eyes of hurricanes and
tornadoes (including the strongest winds ever recorded over land), eye of
cyclone, in floods, earthquakes, forest fires, and urban fires. No locusts but yes dust storms and deadly
scorpions and came across the recently shed skin of a 14 foot poisonous snake
in the Bali wilds. Have been running and
jumped over rattlesnakes, heard rattles, avoided copper heads and cotton
mouths, been bitten by mosquitoes and stung by yellow jackets, lost skin in a
motorcycle accident, bungeed, scubad, parachuted
solo, and never hung glided. I hate
adrenalin. I avoid risk greater than
Mommy Level – oh, let me kiss that to make it better. Never wanted Neurosurgeon level risk, 4-5
decades since Orthopedic risks. 1-2 decades since urgent care risk. Getting in a car and driving 4 miles to work
is most dangerous thing I do most days.
Game Offerings: None
Potential Game
Offerings: None.
Yahtzee Game: Kim Philby
Notice the return of Dane Maslen. This is not the ghost of Dane Maslen. Dane
actually sent good-to-go orders and I neglected them, based on the timing of
them. His selections for scores are in
the scorecard.
At the End of Round
6, Roll :
Player: What
Each Kept
Doug Kent 2,
2, 2 = 6 for twos
Kevin Wilson 2,
2, 2 = 6 for twos
Geoff Kemp 1,1,3,4,4
Dane Maslen 2,2,2,
The sequential order
of dice available now are: 1,3,4,1,4.
Doug, Kevin and Dane choose three 2’s for six. Geoff ended up with two 4’s for eight.
First Roll of Round 7
was: 6,4,5,5,4
Doug saved the 4,4,5,5.
Kevin saved the 4,4.
Dane saved 5,5
Geoff saved 4,4,5,5
Second Roll of Round
7 is: (sequentially) 3,5,2
First Roll of Round 8
is: 6,6,3,4,3
For the next issue of Zero Sum, send in want to save after
Round 7, Roll 2 & want you want to save after Round 8, Roll 1. Deadline is April 26.
Scoring at the End of
Round 6
|
Upper
|
Doug Kent
|
Kevin Wilson
|
Geoff Kemp
|
Dane Maslen
|
|
Ace = 1
|
1
|
4
|
3
|
2
|
|
Twos = 2
|
6
|
6
|
|
6
|
|
Threes = 3
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fours = 4
|
|
|
8
|
|
|
Fives = 5
|
15
|
15
|
|
|
|
Sixes = 6
|
24
|
24
|
18
|
|
|
Total
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bonus +35 if >63
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total Upper
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lower
|
|
|
|
|
|
3 of a Kind
|
|
|
24
|
22
|
|
4 of a Kind
|
|
|
28
|
28
|
|
Full House = 25
|
|
25
|
|
25
|
|
Sm Straight =
30
|
30
|
30
|
|
30
|
|
Lg Straight =
40
|
|
|
40
|
|
|
YAHTZEE = 50
|
|
|
|
|
|
Chance
|
24
|
|
|
|
|
Yahtzee Bonus
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total Lower
|
|
|
|
|
|
GRAND TOTAL
|
100
|
104
|
121
|
107
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
End of Round 6
|
|
|
|
|
Diplomacy (Black Press – Permanent Opening
in ES):
Signed up: Dax Gorham, Paul Milewski,
Arthur Shulman, needs four more.
Youngstown IV (Black Press): Ten-player variant,
with off-board boxes to make it “worldwide.”
A classic.
Rules on request. Signed up: Brad Wilson,
Heath Gardner. Needs
8 more.
By Almost Popular Demand: Same as By Popular
Demand, except the top choice in every category scores zero.
Join at any time.
Eternal Sunshine Movie Photo Quiz: Join anytime. When this is over the next quiz will either
be quotes again, or maybe overly-simple plot
descriptions.
Where in the World is Kendo Nagasaki?:
Rules in ES #58. Join anytime!
Coming
Soon?: 1898, Colonia VII-B. If
you’re interested in one of these variants, let me know.
Standby List:
HELP! I need standby players! – Current
standby list: Richard Weiss, Jim Burgess (Dip only), Hank Alme, Martin
Burgdorf, Paul Milewski (Dip only), Brad Wilson (including Woolworth), Chris
Babcock, Don Williams, Marc Ellinger, Heath Gardner, and whoever I beg into it
in an emergency.
I’m going to continue to go through my
files and seeing what other variants I can offer, until I find one that gets
enough interest to fill. When I offer a
variant I’ll give it an issue or two, but if nobody signs up I’ll drop the
opening and replace it. If somebody
wants to guest-GM a game of anything, just get in touch. If you have specific game requests please let
me know.
Acquire
– “Winterbloom”
Players: Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling, and
Martin Burgdorf.
Turn 4
Per Westling: Plays 3-F and starts Luxor. Received 1 free share of Luxor, and buys 3
American.
Martin Burgdorf: Plays 1-I and buys 3 Worldwide.
Tom Howell: Plays 6-C, forms Festival. Gets 1 free share. Buys 1 Festival, 1 Tower, and 1 Continental.
Hank Alme: Plays 10-D. Buys 1 each of Worldwide, Imperial, and Continental.
Per Westling: Plays 3-C. Buys 3 Luxor.
Turn Order for Turn 5: Martin Burgdorf,
Tom Howell, Hank Alme, Per Westling,
Martin Burgdorf.
Deadline
for Turn 5 is April 28th at 7pm my time.
Kremlin
– “Four Stitches”
Players:
Jack McHugh - Communist Party Against Reform (CRAP), Rick Desper - The Rusty Curtain (RUST), Jim Burgess - Chylak's
Galicians (CG), Mark Firth - Trixci
(TRI), and Geoff
Kemp - Refuseniks (REF).
Turn 3-B
Starting
and Ending Politburo:
Party Chief: L, Igor Doberman, 68, CRAP 9
KGB: Y, Ulan Putschnik, 53, (Strong), CRAP 10
Foreign: Q, Tigran
Zenjarplan, 60, (Strong) CRAP 6, RUST 5
Defense: C, Alexej
Goferbrok, 74, (Strong) CRAP 2
Ideology: U, Wassily
Protzky, 59, +, (Weak), CRAP 6
Industry: D, Petr
Niewitko, 73 + (Strong), CG 2.
Economy: W, Leonid Bungaloff,
54, CG 5, RUST 4, CRAP 3
Sport: E, Karel Krakemheds 73, ++, CG
2, TRI 1.
Candidates:, B 75,
F 71, H 69, S 58, T 57
People: G 70, I 68, J 67, K 66, N 63, O 62,
P 61, R 59, V 55, X 53, Z 50.
Siberia: A 82 +
Waves: CRAP has 3. ß WINS!
Nothing
can be done to stop CRAP from waving, given that L is healthy and nobody can
claim more IP on him that the 9 CRAP has (and nobody has – or plays – an
Intrigue card to any effect). So CRAP
wins in the shortest possible time, 3 turns.
Congratulations Jack! If you’re
interested in another game, let me know and I may offer it next issue.
PRESS
(CG to
PIKERS):
We got nuttin!
(CG to
DOUG):
I think Jack cheats, just like a good Putin..... he
should move to Russia!
Doug –
CG:
Come on, you think he’s smart enough to cheat?
Please….
Trixci – CG:
Um, da.
Deadline for any end-game statements is April 28th
at 7pm my time.
Diplomacy
“Dulcinea” 2008C, F 22
Austria (Martin
Burgdorf – martin_burgdorf “of” hotmail.com): A Belgium Supports A Holland,
F
Brest Supports F North Sea - English Channel (*Void*), A Budapest Supports A
Rumania (*Cut*),
A
Burgundy Supports A Marseilles, A Denmark Supports A Norway - Sweden
(*Disbanded*),
A
Gascony Supports F Brest (*Cut*), A Holland Supports A Kiel, A Kiel
Supports A Denmark (*Cut*),
A
Marseilles Supports A Tyrolia – Piedmont, A Moscow
- Sevastopol (*Fails*), A Norway – Sweden,
A
Picardy Supports A Belgium, A Rumania Supports A
Moscow - Sevastopol (*Dislodged*, retreat to
Ukraine
or Galicia or OTB), A St Petersburg – Norway, A Tyrolia
– Piedmont, A Vienna Supports A Budapest.
England (Hank Alme – almehj “of”
alumni.rice.edu): F Helgoland Bight Supports A London – Denmark,
A
London – Denmark, F North Sea Convoys A London - Denmark.
Turkey (Jim Burgess
– jfburgess “of” gmail.com): F Albania Supports F Trieste, F Baltic Sea - Kiel
(*Fails*),
F
Black Sea Convoys A Constantinople – Rumania, A
Bulgaria Supports A Constantinople – Rumania,
A
Constantinople – Rumania, F English Channel - Brest (*Fails*), A Galicia
– Warsaw,
F
Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Gascony (*Fails*), F Piedmont - Marseilles
(*Dislodged*, retreat to Tuscany or Gulf
of Lyon or OTB), A Serbia - Budapest (*Fails*), A
Sevastopol Supports A Constantinople - Rumania (*Cut*),
F Spain(sc) Supports F Piedmont –
Marseilles, F Trieste Supports F Venice, F Venice Supports F Trieste.
W 22/S 23 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am
my time
Supply
Center Chart
Austria:
Belgium, Berlin, Brest,
Budapest, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Moscow,
Munich, Norway, Paris,
St Petersburg, Sweden, Vienna=14, Even or Remove 1
England:
Denmark, Edinburgh,
Liverpool, London=4, Build 1
Turkey:
Ankara, Bulgaria,
Constantinople, Greece, Naples, Portugal, Rome, Rumania, Serbia,
Sevastopol, Smyrna, Spain, Trieste, Tunis, Venice, Warsaw=16,
Build 2 or 3
PRESS
A => GM: What the heck is
"TAP"?
GM – Austria: Considering how long
it has been since Burgess published one, I am not surprised you don’t know or
can’t remember. It stands for his former
zine The Abyssinian Prince.
“Dulcinea”
Diplomacy Bourse
Billy Ray Valentine: Probably in his
limousine.
Duke of York: Zilch.
Smaug the Dragon: Nothing.
Rothschild: Sells 500 Crowns
and 500 Pounds. Buys
794 Piastres.
Baron Wuffet: Yawn.
Wooden Nickel
Enterprises:
Sells 141 Pounds. Buys
90 Crowns.
VAIONT Enterprises: Sells 500 Piastres. Buys 516 Crowns.
Insider Trading LLC:
Not
a sausage.
Bourse Master: Stands Pat.
PRESS
Bard to Smaug: Fly over me
again, big thing. I got something small to send your way...
Martin Joerg Roth to Begging: We can catch the Duke if we invest heavily in Piastres.
(DUKE OF
YORK to BILBO): I would go for second breakfast
if I were you....
(DUKE OF
YORK to VAIONT): I know YOU will appreciate what
is going on here.....
DUCK to BOOB:
The Illustrious GM has a valid
point. However long this game goes on –
and at present its vying with Mein Kampf for sheer,
gritty, inane, cussed perverseverance (yes, I spelled that the way I wanted it)
beyond all hope of any redemptive value – it will, as Mr. Kent factually
stated, end before you crap out another issue of the Boob Report.
Next Bourse Deadline is April 28th at 7:00pm my time
Graustark Diplomacy Game 2006A,
F 21
Austria (Don
Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): F Trieste SHELLS
MUN & LON (Holds),
A Vienna SUPPORTS D CUPS (Holds), A Budapest SUPPORTS THE RED SOX (Holds).
England (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net):
Retreat A Moscow -
St Petersburg,
F
Smyrna - Aegean Sea.. F Aegean Sea Supports F Bulgaria(sc) – Greece,
A
Belgium Supports F North Sea - Holland (*Cut*), F Bulgaria(sc) - Greece (*Fails*),
F
Constantinople - Bulgaria(ec)
(*Dislodged*, retreat to Black Sea or OTB),
F
English Channel - North Sea (*Fails*), F Ionian Sea Supports F Naples, A
Livonia – Prussia, F Naples Hold,
F
North Sea - Holland (*Fails*), F Norway Supports F English Channel -
North Sea (*Cut*),
F Norwegian
Sea Supports F Norway, A Paris – Gascony, A Picardy – Paris, F Spain(sc) - Marseilles
(*Fails*),
A St
Petersburg Hold.
France (Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): No units.
Germany
(Harley Jordan – harleyj “of” alum.mit.edu):
A Ankara Supports A
Smyrna – Constantinople,
A
Apulia - Naples (*Fails*), A Burgundy - Belgium (*Fails*), A
Greece - Bulgaria (*Fails*),
F
Helgoland Bight Supports F Holland, F Holland Supports A Burgundy - Belgium
(*Cut*),
A
Marseilles - Spain (*Fails*), A Moscow Supports A Warsaw – Livonia, A Rome
Supports A Apulia – Naples,
A
Serbia Supports A Greece – Bulgaria, F Skagerrak – Denmark,
A Smyrna – Constantinople,
F
Sweden - Norway (*Fails*), A Ukraine Supports A Moscow, A Warsaw - Livonia.
Now Proposed – Concession to France. Please Vote, NVR=No.
W 21/S 22 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am my time
Supply
Center Chart
Austria:
Budapest, Trieste,
Vienna=3, Even
England:
Belgium, Brest, Bulgaria,
Edinburgh, Liverpool, London, Naples, Norway, Paris,
Smyrna, Spain, St Petersburg, Tunis=13, Remove 1 or 2
France:
Portugal=1, Plays 1 Short
Germany:
Ankara, Berlin,
Constantinople, Denmark, Greece, Holland, Kiel, Marseilles, Moscow, Munich,
Rome, Rumania, Serbia,
Sevastopol, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=17, Build 2
PRESS:
(BOOB to DUCK): You ignorant slut,
Jane, they CAN'T kill you in the crossfire, they're moving away from you. Time to strike fear in their hearts!
LIVE WIRE AUSTRIA to
PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET: “Zombieishness”?
Really? Are you kidding? I’d try to kill
your zombie ass, but that’s take shooting you in the
brain … and I can’t hit something that doesn’t exist.
VIENNA to MUNICH,
LONDON AND LISBON:
I propose a concession to France. If it doesn’t pass, we’re going to war.
DON to FRED AND
HARLEY:
Are you two really going to let Jim Burgess be right about something?
That’s like letting matter and anti-matter touch … like letting two black holes
collide with each other … like letting Lindsay Lohan
out on OR and expecting sobriety for ….um, 15 minutes. In other words,
letting Burgess be right about anything – he’s an economist after all – will
surely end life on Earth as we know it. (Given the length of this game –
it’s 147 in Dog Years – that would be a blessing. Please, let the sweet,
merciful Hand of Death embrace us all and release us from this neverending dream ….)
DON to HANK: I propose we
don’t end our other game the way we’ve apparently decided to end this
one. Deal?
Everybody
Plays Diplomacy “Dandelion” 2010Cvj08, End Game
Tom
Howell:
Around 1906 or so, when Austria started making gains, I started just wanting
this thing to be over. I was writing
good orders for Austria, and decent enough orders for the weaker powers. Then several of the
other players started
moving the Austrian units backwards.
After that, I started writing the same kind of orders for the weaker
powers. A couple of the other players
were writing good enough orders for Austria.
Between the three or four of us, we managed to make the net movement of
the Austrian units go in the right direction.
The end result shows the perennial importance of being in the right
place at the right time. Which is to say, it was just luck! Thanks to Doug for
running this. Thanks to the forward
moving Austrian order writers. Thanks to
Doug for putting Burgess in other countries most of the time. And final thanks to Doug for running
something else next time.
Brad
Wilson:
I loved doing everything I could to push Austria to the win. I especially liked
my ring-around-the-rosey Turkish orders that kept the
Muslim hordes bottled up.
Fun game Doug!
Austria
Must Not Win:
I only began contributing to this game rather late in its course of play (after
Austria already had a big lead). Was the 'fix' already in? Did/does everyone feel
'sorry' for Austria? You are (mostly) all 'Red Toadies' is all I gotta say.
Rick Desper: Well, the game's over. I think it's pointless to try to win a game
where power assignment changes from turn to turn. So I just played to try to help certain powers grow. Initially, I was mostly trying to help
Austria, esp. in terms of getting Austria into Italy and building more
fleets. I think Austrian fleets are fun. After a while, I decided it would make sense
to also put some effort into building up England. The idea there was to have a second candidate
for winning the game. And no point did
it seem sensible to try to coordinate an anti-Austrian alliance. After all, I wanted the game to actually end,
regardless if whether I was the
"winner." And really, the only
way that Austria would fail to win would be if another power got enough centers
to threaten to win. Some players seemed
to think that, if England held back, the others minor powers might work
together to stop Austria. That was never
going to work. The only power that could
stop Austria was Austria himself, unless a 2nd power grew large.
Oh, after seeing that a player was
"Italy Must Win" I started signing press "Italy Must
Die." That was fun, esp. when I had
control of Austria for some vital early moves.
ITALY
MUST WIN:
Yes, as you all knew from the beginning, Jim-Bob was "Italy Must
Win", and that was my goal in the game.
I think it would have been more fun if others of you had handles. If Doug plays this again, I think handles
should be required. My efforts to make
Italy win of course really made you guys make Austria win. Once Italy wasn't going to win, I did
everything I could to keep the game going and stop Austria from winning, but
most of you (especially Tom) were relentless.
It was a fun little ditty though, wasn't it?
Diplomacy
- “Lighthouse” – 2011A – F 08
Austria (Don
Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): A Trieste Supports A Vienna (*Cut*),
A
Vienna Supports A Trieste (*Cut*).
England (Paul
Milewski – paul.milewski “of” hotmail.com): F Wales - Liverpool
(*Bounce*).
France (Kevin Wilson
– ckevinw “of” gmail.com): F Belgium Supports F English Channel,
F
English Channel Supports F Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea (*Cut*), A
Holland Supports A Kiel,
A
Kiel Supports A Munich, A Marseilles - Piedmont (*Bounce*), F
Mid-Atlantic Ocean - Irish Sea,
A
Munich Supports A Kiel, A Picardy Hold, F Rome - Naples (*Bounce*), F
Tunis - Ionian Sea (*Fails*),
A
Tyrolia Supports A Marseilles - Piedmont
(*Disbanded*), F Tyrrhenian Sea - Naples (*Bounce*).
Germany (Brad Wilson
- bwdolphin146 “of”yahoo.com): A
Edinburgh - Liverpool (*Bounce*).
Italy (Melinda
Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A
Tuscany - Piedmont (*Bounce*).
Russia (Fred Wiedemeyer – wiedem “of” telus.net):
F Adriatic Sea Supports A
Venice,
F Aegean
Sea Supports F Ionian Sea, A Berlin Supports A
Silesia, A Bohemia – Tyrolia,
A
Budapest - Vienna (*Bounce*), F Denmark - Baltic Sea, A Galicia - Vienna
(*Bounce*), F Ionian Sea Hold,
F
London - English Channel (*Bounce*), F North Sea - English Channel
(*Bounce*), A Serbia - Trieste (*Fails*),
A
Sevastopol – Moscow, A Silesia Supports A Berlin, F St Petersburg(nc) – Norway, A Sweden – Denmark,
A
Venice Supports A Bohemia – Tyrolia, A Warsaw -
Prussia.
Russia Wins!
EOG Statements due by April 29th at 7:00am my time
Supply Center Chart
Austria:
Trieste, Vienna=2, Even
England:
Liverpool=1, Even
France:
Belgium, Brest, Holland,
Kiel, Marseilles, Munich, Naples, Paris, Portugal, Rome,
Spain, Tunis=12, Build 1
Germany:
Edinburgh=1, Even
Italy: None=0,
OUT!
Russia:
Ankara, Berlin, Budapest,
Bulgaria, Constantinople, Denmark, Greece, London, Moscow, Norway,
Rumania, Serbia,
Sevastopol, Smyrna, St Petersburg, Sweden, Venice, Warsaw=18, WINS!
PRESS
Germany: Off to
a game at Goodison Park!
VIENNA
to ROME: Looking at the smoke
coming up from the Vatican, my friend, and it’s a hazy shade of gray … not what
I’d expected under the circumstances.
Assuming I do outlast you here, there is no justifiable way that I
should have outlasted you here. In my
memoirs, I plan to confess to a engaging in a much
higher, purer and superior form of practical sycophancy tha
you do. (Put another way, I apparently
kiss ass way better than you do!)
AUSTRIA
to THE OTHER BRIGHTLY COLORED BLOCKS: Don’t know that I’ve ever seen this before,
but we may be standing in the doorway of ignominious shame historical
greatness all together here as one; it
appears that Russia could win this with 18 without ANY of the Great Powers
having been eliminated. Fat chance at
this moment, but I challenge Fred to try to pull it off. I, for one, will sing his praises especially
if it buys us all a few more turns to figure out how to thwart this travesty.
(Psst, don’t tell Fred Turkey’s been eliminated … I
hear he’s color blind and can’t tell red from yellow. I’ve told him A TRI is really the Sultan’s!)
Diplomacy
“Jerusalem” 2012A, W 04
Seasons Separated By Player Request
Austria (Melinda
Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): Retreat
A Budapest - Galicia..Remove
A Galicia,
A Tyrolia..Has A Vienna.
England (John Biehl – jerbil “of” shaw.ca): Build A London..Has F Barents Sea, F English Channel,
F
Irish Sea, A London, F Mid-Atlantic Ocean, F North
Sea, A St Petersburg.
France (Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com): Has F Brest, A Gascony, A Paris, A Spain.
Germany
(Don Williams – dwilliams
“of” fontana.org): Build A Berlin..Has
A Berlin, A Bohemia,
A
Marseilles, A Munich, A Picardy, F Western
Mediterranean.
Italy (Mark Firth – mark.r.firth “of” capita.co.uk): Retreat A Tyrolia - Piedmont.. Build F Naples..Has
F
Adriatic Sea, F Ionian Sea, F Naples, A Piedmont, A
Trieste.
Russia (Richard
Weiss – richardweiss “of” higherquality.com): Remove F Sevastopol..Has
A Moscow,
A
Prussia, A Warsaw.
Turkey (Geoff Kemp -
ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): Build F Smyrna, A Constantinople..Has A Albania,
F
Black Sea, A Budapest, A Constantinople, F Greece, A
Rumania, A Serbia, F Smyrna.
S 05 Deadline is April 29th at 7:00am my time
PRESS
T - A
"I thought you did?"
France-board: i will no longer answer letters in this game but i will read them so you may write me but i will not reply..
London
(Dec 31, 1904) King John was screaming,
"I knew it, that Halloween Ball, it was that mad King Jacques who insults
me! Lies? He accuses me of lying? What an ingrate! And after
I'd offered him a position of Flunkiness.
Well, Jacques, you flunked out! No more Flunkiness
for you! *(Unless , of course, there's a real case of flunkiness)
John - Don: I don't write press?
Huh? I've written plenty. You just haven't noticed (so go back and 'seek and ye
shall find')
Eng - Ita: Marching into Tri? Bad idea,
Roman boy wonder.
GERMANY
to RUSSIA: What do you mean there’s no John? There’s always a John here somewhere. It’s in the 1976 Edition of the Diplomacy
Rules. If there’s really no John – and I
think you’re lying about that, too, Ivan – then this game is in serious danger
of being called “irregular”.
DON to
DOUG: And, as you know, irregularity can be a very
serious (and messy) problem …
Doug –
Don: A few Fig Newtons
before bed helps.
SOCRATES
to THE PRESS ZOMBIE OF SMITH STREET: The only way you could
help is by turning one or more of these players into zombies … oh, and if you
avoided writing more brain-killing press.
I’m down to my last little bit amygdala … and you know how I get when
it’s just the lizard brain part of me that’s functioning … reaction, reaction,
reaction and no writing ability at all …
KAISER
to CZAR TSAR: Czar?
What are you, Ivan, Polish? Hey,
sorry about not writing. It’s all
Burgess’s fault. He reduces even the
most loquacious of us into gibbering, drooling, monosyllabic fools …
GYPSIES,
TRAMPS & THIEVES to ITALY: Don’t mind us. We’re just here to read your fortune. Or create it for you.
DON QUIXOTE
to DULCINEA: I’m Don Quixote! The Man of La Mancha! My destiny calls and I must … SQUIRREL! (Kind of been like that all game for
me.) Panchita,
I will say a rosary or two in your name, and slay a million windmills to avenge
your untimely passing. Just as soon as I
can figure out who’s doing what to whom …
GERMANY
to RUSSIA: Really?
I finally call off the dogs and you launch yourself right across the friggin’ border like a sugared-up five year old with cotton
candy breath? Hey, dude, I admit it,
okay? I met my match. You are bigger, better, stronger, cooler and
hipper than I am, Ivan. I’ve been
weighed, measured, and found wanting. I
am Yin to your Yang. Red
Sox to your Yankees. Coyote to
your Roadrunner … I am Bob Olsen to your Kathy Caruso. We measured our stuff and, yes, yours is
bigger. Hugely, in fact … I’m so
embarrassed. I sit abased at your feet,
ashamed of having been bested by my better.
Now, would you back up and please go attack Turkey before you catch a
scimitar across your scapulas? No harm (okay, just a little harm), no foul.
GERMANY
to ITALY: Not that you shouldn’t being very much the
same, Mr. Firth …
Diplomacy “Walkerdine” 2012D, W 01
Seasons
Separated by Player Request
Austria
(Jeff O’Donnell – unclestaush “of” yahoo.com): Build A Vienna, A Budapest..Has
A Budapest,
F
Greece, A Serbia, A Tyrolia,
A Vienna.
England
(Marc Ellinger - mellinger
“of” bbdlc.com): Build F London..Has A Edinburgh, F London,
F
North Sea, F Norway.
France
(Jim Burgess – jfburgess “of” gmail.com): Build F Brest, F Marseilles..Has
F Brest, F Marseilles,
A
Picardy, F Portugal, A Spain.
Germany
(Steve Cooley – tmssteve “of” gmail.com): Build F Kiel, A Berlin..Has
A Berlin, F Denmark,
A Holland, F Kiel, A Munich.
Italy
(Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): Build A Rome..Has
A Piedmont, A Rome, F Tunis, A Venice.
Russia
(Hank Alme – almehj “of” alumni.rice.edu): Build A Warsaw..Has
F Constantinople,
F
Gulf of Bothnia, A Rumania, A Silesia, A Warsaw.
Turkey
(Don Williams – dwilliams “of” fontana.org): Build F Smyrna..Has
F Aegean Sea, A Bulgaria,
A
Sevastopol, F Smyrna.
Deadline
for S 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My Time
PRESS
Italy to France: I am impressed
with your lyrical-writing ability. The
Railroad is one of my favorite songs performed Grand Funk,
one that I think is overlooked and not played often due to its length. I must object to you reference to me as being
not trustworthy. Did I attack you? No, I did not. I simply moved to protect my western
border. I could have attacked Austria,
but did I do that? No, I did not. I think you are listening to someone who, for
reasons known only to himself, feels the need to
“cross-game” and attack me through a surrogate when he is not even in a game
with me.
GM –
Italy:
I feel the need to point out that this is a Black Press game, so while France
may have written that press, he then again may not have.
Italy
to GM:
What did I tell you? It is really sad
when a player is so obsessed with someone that they try to ruin the fun of the
game when they are not even in the same game.
Pathetic really when you think about it.
GM –
Italy:
Who exactly are you referring to?
Anonymous: Mr. Ellinger*
We’re scared of you, Mr. Ellinger,
Fear of you has filled us all with woe. (Woe! Woe! Woe!)
Oh spare us, please, Mr. Ellinger!
Hope you’ll let us stay awhile and play …
(Play, play, play … play, play, play.)
We’d like to figure out just how you got so ghod-damned
good.
We’d like understand … to help ourselves.
Can you speak the truth without your treachery and lies?
Try it once, just once, perhaps you’ll get it right.
And England’s yours, Mr. Ellinger -
Germany and France will never know (Know, know, know!)
Your schemes for them, Mr. Ellinger:
Hell-on-Earth is just turn away …
(Turn a-way … turn a-way.)
Stab the trusting German where the sun don’t
ever shine.
Bayonette the Frenchman - with your eyes closed …
It'll be no secret just how bad you screwed them both.
Best of all, you’ll get to listen to their screams!
Boo-hoo, boo-hoo,
Mr. Ellinger!
Croc-o-diles feel more guilt than you.
(True, true, true!)
With well-faked tears, Mr. Ellinger,
You’re Oscar-bound to Hollywood someday …
(Day, day, day … day, day, day …)
Peering at the orders in the Sunshine game report -
Offer up a two-way to the Sultan?
Lie about it, scheme about it,
If he’s suckered in …
Ev’ry way
you look at this you’ll win!
Where have they gone, France and Germany?
And why have all their home dots turned dark blue? (Blue, blue, blue!)
What’s that you said, Mr. Ellinger?
Germany and France are cold and dead!
(Dead, dead, dead … dead, dead, dead ... )
Sung
to the tune of “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon & Garfunkel
(FRANCE to ITALY): Methinks you are
majorly confused. Don't expect me to help. May your metal clad you
in deafness.,...
Black
Press Gunboat, “Fred Noonan”, 2013Arb32, W 01
Seasons
Separated by Player Request
Austria: Build A Budapest..Has
A Budapest, F Greece, A Serbia, A Vienna.
England: Build F Liverpool..Has
A Belgium, F English Channel, F Liverpool, F North
Sea.
France: Build F Marseilles, F Brest..Has
F Brest, F Marseilles, A Paris, F Portugal, A Spain.
Germany:
Build F Kiel, A Munich..Has F Denmark, A Holland,
F Kiel, A Munich, A Ruhr.
Italy: Build A Venice, F Naples..Has F Naples, A Trieste, F Tunis, A Tyrolia, A Venice.
Russia: Build A Moscow..Has
F Black Sea, F Gulf of Bothnia, A Moscow, A Norway, A
Rumania.
Turkey: Build A Smyrna, F Ankara..Has
F Ankara, A Bulgaria, F Constantinople, A Sevastopol, A
Smyrna.
Deadline
for S 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My Time
PRESS
France
– Germany: Waiting to take
Belgium in the fall is a good idea so that I can help you. By the way, Russia looks to be very inviting!
(Berlin) - The Kaiser
today announced bafflement that the Czar is upset over the recent conflict in
Sweden. "Did he really think we would stand by and allow him such
aggrandizement on our borders? Surely the Czar is NOT in control! We are
pleased that the Sultan has taken suitable steps to protect his border."
The Kaiser confirmed that negotiations are underway with representatives of
both Turkey and England.
Ber-Mos:
Really? Really? Really?! Going for 3? Are you
surprised you failed? It would be better if you concentrate on your own
backyard and not interfere with Germany.
France - Germany:
Glad to see we can work things out.
Rome - Munich:
Don't panic and do something stupid.
France
– England: It
would appear to me, my friend, that you are going to
have some trouble heading your way from the north. Do you really think you can trust
Russia? I don’t think so!
T =>
A: Italy did press his attack. I want now Gre
and Ser.
T =>
R: Herewith the Sultan of Turkey declares war on Russia.
T =>
I: Please respect that Ser, Gre, AEG, and EMS belong to the Turkish sphere of
influence. If you do, we can stay friends for a very long time.
RUSSIA - TURKEY:
Ha ha, very funny!
As
you wish, Arm - Sev has triggered war
between Russia and Turkey.
RUSSIA - AUSTRIA:
Turkey
attacked me so perhaps we can cooperate soon?
Regards, Russia.
RUSSIA - GERMANY:
Obviously
the obvious is not obvious!!
I'm
more likely to be an ally than England, did you notice
the English Army in Belgium?!
Now
is the time to change your mind.
Would
you like support into the North Sea in a couple of turns?
Regards, Russia.
Diplomacy
“Sweet Spot” 2013A, F 01
Austria
(Fred Wiedemeyer –
wiedem “of” telus.net): F Albania – Greece,
A
Budapest - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Galicia Supports A Budapest - Rumania.
England
(Harold Zarr - skip1955 “of” hotmail.com): A Edinburgh – Yorkshire,
F North Sea Supports F Norwegian Sea – Norway, F Norwegian Sea -
Norway.
France (Melinda Holley – genea5613 “of” aol.com): A
Burgundy Supports A Tyrolia
– Munich,
F
English Channel – Belgium, A Marseilles - Spain.
Germany
(Jack McHugh – jwmchughjr “of” gmail.com):
F Denmark – Sweden, A Kiel - Berlin
(*Bounce*),
A
Munich - Berlin (*Dislodged*, retreat to Bohemia or Ruhr or OTB).
Italy (Heath
Gardner - heath.gardner “of” gmail.com): A
Apulia – Tunis,
F
Ionian Sea Convoys A Apulia – Tunis, A Tyrolia - Munich.
Russia (Chris
Babcock – cbabcock “of” asciiking.com ): F Gulf of Bothnia - Baltic Sea,
F
Sevastopol - Rumania (*Bounce*), A Silesia - Berlin (*Bounce*), A
St Petersburg - Norway (*Fails*).
Turkey (Larry
Peery – peery “of” ix.netcom.com;): A
Bulgaria Supports F Sevastopol – Rumania,
F
Constantinople - Aegean Sea, A Syria Hold.
Deadline
for Winter 01/Spring 02 Will Be April 29th at 7am My
Time
Seasons
Will Be Separated on Two Requests
Any Press
Submitted Will Be Printed Unless Marked “Spring Only”
Supply Center Chart
Austria:
Budapest, Greece, Trieste,
Vienna=4, Build 1
England:
Edinburgh, Liverpool,
London, Norway=4, Build 1
France:
Belgium, Brest, Marseilles,
Paris, Spain=5, Build 2
Germany:
Berlin, Kiel, Sweden=3, Even
or Build 1
Italy:
Munich,
Naples, Rome, Tunis, Venice=5, Build 2
Russia:
Moscow, Sevastopol, St
Petersburg, Warsaw=4, Even
Turkey:
Ankara, Bulgaria,
Constantinople, Smyrna=4, Build 1
Unowned: Denmark, Holland, Portugal, Rumania, Serbia.
PRESS
Fra - Ita: Heath, what the hell is Larry doing in Syria? Then again,
do we care what the hell Larry's doing in Syria? Is it our fate to gossip about
what the hell Larry is doing in Syria so we can make him happy?
(Moscow) - "Sire!
We've just received a dispatch from our agent in Berlin! The Germans have made
peace with the French! They are going to support them into the North Sea!
Sweden is ours!" The Czar grunted. "You believe in the Easter Bunny,
don't you?" he growled. "Fool!" The Czar's meaty fist slammed
down onto his ornate desk. "The Kaiser will promise everything and deliver
nothing in order to save Munich! Proceed with my orders! Nothing has
changed!"
England to Europe: Never
trust the frogs. I wonder how many cars
on blocks she will put up in front of the palace.
Syria - Turkey:
What the hell?! This is a CLOSED set! (Two points for anyone who knows what
movie that line is from *g*)
Anon: The assistant
timidly knocked on the closed door, then gently opened
it. He winced when he heard the Woman yelling. Taking a deep breath, he entered
the room and closed the door behind him. "Madam?" he barely
whispered. Then he cleared his throat. "Madam!"
The Woman, eyes blazing in fury, spun
around to glare at him. "What?"
"It's the English ambassador,
Madam. Well, and the German ambassador as well. Both wish to speak with you
immediately upon matters of the utmost urgency. They...demand to see you
now."
"Demand?" The Woman slowly got to her feet. "What do they have
to demand about?"
"The English ambassador is most
perturbed about our fleet in the English Channel and the German ambassador is
unhappy with our presence in Burgandy."
"Well, you can tell the English
ambassador that I'm 'most perturbed' about The Shield running amok and doing
whatever they damn well they please! You can also remind the English ambassador
that the English Channel is so-named because of convenience and NOT because of
ownership! You can inform the English Ambassador that I'm 'perturbed' about his
countrymen running through the streets of Paris like rubes who just hit town
with the egg money!"
"And the German ambassador?"
the assistant winced.
"Tell HIM that Burgandy
belongs to France and we'll go to our own territory whenever we feel like
it! AND advise the German ambassador
that I'm still waiting for my invitation to Oktoberfest!"
"But it's March..." The assistant quickly backed away.
"I DON'T CARE!" The Woman took a deep breath. "Now, go!" She turned back to the television set. "I'm trying to watch my soaps!"
TURKEYS FINALLY GET REVENGE ON BIRSAN FOR ALL THOSE LEPANTO
OPENINGS
A Bay Area Problem: What To Do If You
Are Attacked by a Wild Turkey: (Photos
and videos omitted) Turkeys have moved
in force into Northern California’s Bay Area with sightings reported in
Montclair, Martinez, Albany, and Walnut Creek. Can Concord, home of world
famous Dipper Edi Birsan, be far behind? Jonathan Roisman
reports: “On a recent drive in Oakland’s Montclair neighborhood, a motorist
stopped at a stop sign and instantly found herself surrounded by wild turkeys.
When the driver honked, the birds responded by pecking the car’s tires and
door. Minutes passed with the driver paralyzed until finally an intrepid
resident emerged to shoo the big birds away. It was just another day in the Bay
Area, where turkeys are growing steadily more bold. In
Albany on Monday, residents went before the City Council to formulate a
strategy for ridding themselves of about 30 of the wild birds roaming the city.
But scientists say it may be too late to stop the birds’ encroachment into Bay
Area suburbia. Wild turkeys are becoming more common in California
neighborhoods. Turkey populations in general over the past several years have
been increasing in California. Turkeys are very tolerant living in and among
people. Turkey populations grow in suburban areas because food is abundant,
especially because some people enjoy feeding them. We’re always going to have
turkeys in our urban areas. We’re a good turkey habitat. The fowls were
originally introduced into the state (of California) in the early 20th century.
Nearly 3,000 arrived in California between 1959 and 1988 alone. The earliest
turkeys reportedly arrived as pets imported by pilots of the Turkish Air Force
training at Travis and Beale AFB in northern California. Since then the state’s
turkey population has ballooned to a quarter-million. Not everyone laments the
new state residents. A lot of people don’t want the birds killed. However, they
can tear up gardens, damage cars and steal food. A bicyclist died last year in
Martinez when he collided into a flock of turkeys. And turkeys sometimes charge
the familiar faces of people who have fed them in the past, another reason not
to feed them. So what should you do if you’re attacked by a turkey? Getting a
permit to kill turkeys in suburban areas is nearly impossible due to a variety
of laws in most cities, such as those prohibiting the discharge of a firearm.
Only eight bird abatement permits were given out last year. That doesn’t mean
you’re helpless, Turkeys tend to avoid flying short distances and fences are
sometimes enough of a deterrent to keep them out of yards. They usually avoid
homes with dogs. If they do get in your way, you can most often shoo them away
if you’re aggressive about it. And, like the Wicked Witch of the West, turkeys
dislike water. So if they refuse to bulge, give them a good spraying. Finding
them a new home, however, is difficult because relocating birds to secluded
areas is costly and logistically difficult. So for now they’ll just continue to
gobble up more space in Bay Area cities. People with local turkey problems are
urged to call Concord City Councilman Edi Birsan at
925-671-3158.
TURKEY ON THE WORLD STAGE
Normally Turkey doesn’t get much
attention in the international media but recently a number of stories have
appeared dealing with Turkey’s international affairs: “Turkey at the
Crossroads: The country must find a balance between its Muslim identity and its
Western affiliations.” (LA Times, 9 March 2013). “Israel Apologizes to Turkey
Over Flotilla Deaths.” (USA Today, 22 March 2013). “Locked in a Fateful
Embrace: Turkey’s PM and His Kurdish Prisoner.” (The Guardian
n.d.) “Turkey, the Unhelpful Ally.” (NY Times,
27 February 2013). “Why Turkey Would Be Furious if Russia Became The Savior of
Cyprus.” (BBC n.d.). “Patriots in Turkey Send Clear Warning to
Syria: Germany.” (Reuters, 23 February 2013)”Kerry Calls Turkish Prime Minister’s Remark
About Zionism Objectionable.” (CNN, 2 March 2013). “Turkey’s Foray Into the Fertile Crescent.” (NY Times, 27 February 2013).
“Frustrated Turkey Still Wants EU Entry, But Maybe Not the Euro.” (Reuters, 13
February 2013).
NOT CONSTANTINOPLE: NINE MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ISTANBUL,
TURKEY (By Meg Nesterov)
1. Turkey is part of the Middle East.
2. The women all wear burqas
3. You can’t drink alcohol, find pork,
or eat during Ramadan.
4. It’s a hot,
desert climate and everyone rides a camel.
5. The food is spicy.
6. Men have harems.
7. They speak Arabic.
8. It’s a war
zone.
9. They hate Americans.
None of the above is true in Istanbul.
However, the further out of Istanbul you go, the greater the chance of running
into stricter Muslim practices. It’s the same as if you compared New York City
and Moab, Utah; and you’re looking for Mormon influences.
TURKEY’S XANADU
If you like luxury resorts with lots of
outdoor activities, especially golf, you might enjoy the Xanadu
Resort in Belek, about 20 miles from Antalya on the
German Riveria.
Lepanto Opening lovers would enjoy the area which was occupied by the
Italians from the end of the First World War until the founding of the Turkish
Republic in 1923. Seven nights at the five star resort
will cost you about USD 750, far less than you’d pay in a comparable US resort.
TURKISH SOAP OPERAS TAKE GREECE TO THE SHOWERS
Soap operas are an international
addiction. I myself have recently become infatuated with Korean soaps which are
far better than American ones or Downton Abbey. But I
surprised to discover that Turkish soap operas are all the rage in Greece. A
Greek facebook page for Halit
Ergenc, who plays Suleyman
I in the controversial Turkish soap Magnificent Century has nearly 23,000 fans.
Another reason the Turkish soaps are popular is costs. One episode of a Turkish
soap costs about 1/10th of what a MORE PIECES FROM TURKEY
soap made in Greece costs.
BRIDGE GOES MISSING IN WESTERN TURKEY
A 22-ton bridge disappeared from the Golcuk district of Kocaeli
Province in Turkey earlier this month. That’s right: A steel structure weighing
roughly 44,000 pounds and stretching 82 feet just up and left. No note. No
forwarding address. No nothing. Local police believe the bridge was dismantled
by thieves and sold for scrap. This isn’t the first time a bridge has dropped
from sight. The same thing happened a few years ago in Pennsylvania and a much
larger bridge recently disappeared in Russia.
WHO GIVES A DAM? WELL, TURKEY FOR ONE
As I mentioned before Turkey is on a
dam building spree in its economically backward SE region. One of the more
interesting projects under construction is the USD 1.5 billion Ilisu Dam project, located just 25 miles from the Syrian
border and 45 miles from the Iraq border on the Tigris River. The project is
just over half done and 55,000 people lost their homes and 74,000 acres of land
will go under water when its done, assuming it is
completed.
CORPORATE HELP BOOSTS TURKEY’S BID TO HOST THE 2020 OLYMPICS
Seven giant Turkish companies have
pledged USD 3.2 million to help finance Turkey’s bid to host the 2020 Olympics.
Perhaps more interesting is that Greece has pledged its 100% support of the
Turkish bid.
For more news about Turkey (in English)
check out http://www.worldbulletin.net
Woolworth
II-D “Coney Island” 2013Bcb19, S 01
Austria
(Secret): A
Vie-Gal, A Bud S A Vie-Gal, F Tri-Ven.
Balkans
(Secret): A
Bul-Rum, A Ser S A Bul-Rum, F Gre-Alb
England
(Secret): F Lon-Eng, F Edi-Nwg, A Lvp-Wal.
France
(Heath Gardner - heath.gardner “of”
gmail.com): F Bre – Eng, A Par-Pic, A
Mar-Bur.
Germany
(Marc Ellinger - mellinger
“of” bbdlc.com): F Kie-Hol, A Ber-Kie,
A Mun-Swi.
Italy
(Secret): F
Nap-Apu, F Rom-Tys, A Ven-Tri.
Russia (Jim
Burgess - jfburgess “of” gmail.com): A Stp-Lvn, A War-Gal, A Mos-War,
F Sev-Bla.
Scandinavia (Geoff Kemp -
ggeoff510 “of” aol.com): F Nwy-Nwg, F Den-Nth, A Swe-Den.
Spain (Secret): A Por – Bas, F Mor – MAO, F Mad -
WMS
Turkey (Hugh Polley – hapolley “of” yahoo.ca): F Ank-Con, A
Smy-Syr, A Con-Smy.
Deadline
for Fall 01 is April 29th at 7am My Time
PRESS
Anon: We are most
alarmed at having to make aggressive moves on our neighbour
Austria. What if he is a public
ally? Austria please keep your Fleet in
Tri and I will please keep my army in Ven, we can be good neighbours by not having our forces enter Tyr and ADR. If a
foolish third party does enter Tyr we will jointly support Tri to Tyr, if a
foolish third party does enter ADR, Austria can support any Italian fleet in range
to ADR. A nice defensive situation for
peace loving; UN members,
in good standing.
Italy
To Athens:
a wonderful place for sun and fun with many a potential visitor looking to bask in Greek culture! Thank god I did not draw that secret power as
it is surrounded on all sides by T/A/R, a diplomatic nightmare. Keep out of my way, stay out of Ion, and I
will not challenge you for Crete! Anger me by moving to Ion, and I will
challenge for Crete or support Turkey F Smy there.
Profitable Power Pack Proposal: We
the secret powers are united and will eliminate all the public powers so we
can play a proper game of gunboat Dip plo-macy!
Unknown
Secret power to all other central secret powers: how come we are
all jammed up against one another while Mr Bugess gets to relax far from the action in Mos! Game designer
must have been Russian.
RUSSIA
LETS UNITE TO WIPE OUT THE CENTRAL POWERS
Can you the central powers afford to let
Russia sit back while you go about fighting, let Russia grab all the
candy? Once Russia has build and England has build they
can sweep the North, then the South!
Sherlock
of Austria to Known great powers: let's see if I will be the first to
reveal a great power and his stooge! My
second choice was England yet I did not get England for my known or Secret
Power. It is curious that Editor Kent would give such a weak exposed power to
his fellow publisher Kemp, their names even sound alike, how could he hang him
out to dry?
So what is the most powerful secret power,
the one that all must fear? Would that not be England! Lon to Eng,
Edi-Nth, lpl-NAO-Ice; and you’re in heaven before the
devil knows your gone! You could even
create a quick super power by arranging for England to take Nwy ! It would be wise to keep a close eye on
Scandinavia. Please send in your yes or
no vote for 'is England Scandinavia's secret Power'!
BALKAN
WARS to FIVE AND DIMERS: Well, here I am, talk to me through the press, I am
lonely!!!
BALKAN
WARS to TURKEY:
Note I made the moves away from you, can we talk about
my other neighbors?
By Almost
Popular Demand
The goal is to pick something that fits the
category and will be the a popular answer but NOT the "most popular"
answer. You score points based on the number of entries that match yours. For
example, if the category is "Cats" and the responses were 7 for
Persian, 3 for Calico and 1 for Siamese, everyone who said Persian would get 7
points, Calico 3 and the lone Siamese would score 1 point. However, if your answer is the most popular answer, you score ZERO. The cumulative total over 10 rounds will
determine the overall winner. Anyone may enter at any point, starting with an
equivalent point total of the lowest cumulative score from the previous round.
If a person misses a round, they'll receive the minimum score from the round
added to their cumulative total. In each round you may specify one of your
answers as your Joker answer. Your score for this answer will be
doubled. In other words, if you apply
your Joker to category 3 on a given turn, and 4 other people give the same
answer as you, you get 10 points instead of 5.
Players who fail to submit a Joker for any specific turn will have their
Joker automatically applied to the first category. And, if you want to submit
some commentary with your answers, feel free to. The game will consist of 10 rounds, and the
score is doubled for Round 10. A prize
will be awarded to the winner. Research
is permitted!
Round 2 Categories
1. A serial
killer (real name or nickname).
2. A film
with Nicole Kidman.
3. Something
you buy at a gas station.
4. A city
in China.
5. An
English King.
Selected Comments By
Category
Serial Killer – Larry Peery “Jack
the Ripper (who was actally the Duke of Clarence).
Did you know that the Duke of Clarence is the only recent royal not buried at
Windsor, by the express instructions of Queen Victoria.
Rumor has it that she had been told secretly by Scotland Yard that he was Jack
the Ripper.” Richard Weiss “Jack the
Ripper. (I started with English King's and listened to Warren Zevon and Grateful Dead recently) I don't think Charles
Manson qualifies. Ted Bundy not well
enough known.” Per Westling “Pedro
Alonso López, aka The Monster of the Andes. Pretty
depressing to read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_by_number_of_victims” Marc Ellinger “This is a brutal question (all puns intended),
since there are only a few really famous serial killers (jack the ripper, green
river, bundy).
But Son of Sam seems to be an option.”
Nicole Kidman – Larry Peery “a
movie with Nicole Kidman is Australia which is a better travel pic than movie.
On the other hand, here's a bit of trivia to go with her story. She's a
descendent of the sheep staton Kidmans
who at one time were the largest landowners in Australia. It's said that you
could drive a herd of sheep from Darwin in the Northern Territories to Adelaide
on the south coast without ever leaving the Kidman's land. The huge empire was
required for sheep raising because of the need for
large amounts of grazing land and water rights in different areas. By
accumulating these various sheep stations (e.g. ranches) the Kidmans could feed, water, and move their vast sheep
holdings as needed. In later years much of the empire was sold off, including the 250,000 acre Paroo-Darling station which became the Peery
National Park in New South Wales. Although called a "national" park
the Peery National Park was really a state (NSW)
park. The reason it was named Peery National Park was
for James William Peery, my late brother. Among other
things James was a hydrologist and he and a couple of partners had discovered a
vast underground lake under the Paroo River basis and
filed a mineral (In Australia water is considered a mineral, just like gold,
silver, etc.) claim with the government. That claim potentially was worth
millions. As part of its Bicentennial Celebration the Australian government
decided to expect the country's national park system. A prime candidate for
acquisition was the former Kidman sheep station in the Paroo-Darling
(river ) basin. The Kidmans
offered to sell it to the government for $1 per acre and everyone thought it
was a done deal until the lawyers discovered that water rights claim that Peery had filed years earlier. The claim had to be cleared
before the land's title could change. James had died (That's another story.)
some time before under mysterious circumstances. His two partners agreed to
sell the claim to the government for a nominal sum on one condition, that the
new park be named for James; and that's how Peery
National Park came to exist. I visited
the Park when I went to WDC III. It was a vast, dry river bed that was without
water at least 9 years out of 10, but during that 10th year it would become a
vast river and series of lakes only a foot or so deep. That would last a few
months and then it would all dry up again. There was nothing there, not even a
sign, when I was there. The only way in or out was by small plane. The park
ranger responsible for the park lived in Bourke, 250 miles away. Even the
Australians consider it to be the most desolate area of a desolate area. After
a period of years Peery National Park was formally
renamed and became part of the Paroo-Darling National
Park. For more on the story, photos, and such do a Google search.” Jim Burgess “I was tempted to choose Bewitched, but this should be the interesting choice, a Kubrick
film through and through.”
Congrats to Paraic
Reddington for scoring 22 points, the high score for
the round. Poor Rick Desper
hit the most popular answer in 3 categories, leaving him with only 2 points.
Gas Station – Jim Burgess “I think gas will NOT be the
most popular choice.”
China –
Richard Weiss “I'd like to say Taipei, but would lose on that.” Per Westling “Have
a lot of business with Nanjing so I go for that even though it is only 13th
place on a mere 8 million... Did not know that Chonging was largest about a third larger than Beijing at
place 2.”
English King – Rick Desper “I
feel kind of obligated as a Richard son of a Richard.” Kevin Wilson “The question is will players
differentiate between English kings and British Kings. If they go with English Kings, then I think
Henry VIII could be #1. If the
distinction isn't picked up, then George III might rank high. I think it will be a bit of both so I'll go
with George III.” Paraic
Reddington “This will be interesting to see if the
correct numbering is used.” Per Westling “My first thought was for one of the British
monarch that has been since 1707, so I had to choose from one of the older
Kings.” Marc Ellinger
“Henry VIII – If for no other reason than Herman’s Hermits! I’m ‘enry the Eighth
I am, ‘enry the Eighth I am, Iam,
everyone sing along!” [[There
was a lot of that going on with that answer.]]
Round 3 Categories
1. A
comedian.
2. A film
with Harrison Ford.
3. A dish
you order at a Chinese restaurant.
4. A brand
of purse.
5. A member
of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young
Deadline for Round 3 is April 29th at 7:00am
my time
April
2013
